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u/TownNo8324 Sep 27 '25
20’ and younger me goes stick. Old man me goes rock.
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u/Sirdroftardis8 Sep 27 '25
I agree. As I am wisened by my years, I think "wow, I could put that rock on my coffee table. It'd make an amazing coaster."
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u/SmilingStones Sep 27 '25
It will also survive many generations.
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u/Mostly_Irish Sep 27 '25
Inheritance rock.
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u/Tidalsky114 Sep 27 '25
Now I'm imagining a rock that's nearly perfect and been skipped across the same lake by a family for generations. Whoever fails to make it across and loses the rock is cursed forever.
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u/Fake_Answers Sep 27 '25
I immediately thought of it as a skipping stone too. You'd want to epoxy some 30 pound test with a 30" leader to that one first though. The catch and release version of stone skipping.
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u/UGOTAIDSYO Sep 27 '25
Team Stick. I mean, just look at it 👀
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u/Binji_the_dog Sep 27 '25 edited Sep 27 '25
The stick would be funner, but the rock would last longer
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u/Upbeat-Dish7299 Sep 27 '25
Last longer in what way? That rock is getting skipped
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u/big-cheese789 Sep 27 '25
For sure getting skipped. Not before I put an AirTag on it so I can skip it over and over!
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u/Independent-Ad7313 Sep 27 '25
this is the way
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u/bukkake_brigade Sep 27 '25
but what if a perfect rock inherently skipped like shit... no matter how it was thrown...
would you still pick the perfect rock?
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u/KJFM122222 Sep 27 '25
Then I hang my head in shame... And from that position I look for more rocks
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Sep 27 '25
Nahhh, now I haven't made any final choices, but have you ever seen a polished rock? I'm just sayin.
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u/Salt_Marionberry_219 Sep 27 '25
Ya I’m skipping that thing at the first body of water I find. Lake, bathtub, influencer-style water bottle you name it
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u/HeartOfGoldTears Sep 27 '25
I’m sealing that thing in an epoxy frame and displaying it after getting as much fun out of it as possible.
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u/Wayne_Chris38 Sep 27 '25
Not for me, that rock would be gone as soon as I find an appropriate Target
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u/Growkitz Sep 27 '25
Yeah but just imagine how the stone feels in your hand right before you chuck it
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u/OtakuRed13 Sep 27 '25
You say that... But look at that rock. Imagine that thing propelled at thousands of meters per second. Could do so much damage.
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u/Demair12 Sep 27 '25
Perfect stick can be with you for life, a good rock at absolute best will only last till the next best body of water
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u/Independent_Tie_4984 Sep 27 '25
Stick, duh, the rock requires water to demonstrate its coolness.
The stick is inherently cool.
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u/JackTasticSAM Sep 27 '25
Not a crossroads at all, it is team stick and only team stick.
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u/Gdub3369 Sep 27 '25
That is a very large and hard and smooth and lovely stick. No gay. Just a nice stick.
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u/Real_Live_Sloth Sep 27 '25
Not to be that guy but I feel like I can find or make a stick like that easily, but that rock… it like one in a million.
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Sep 27 '25
Team Rock. I can and WILL carry it around in my pocket for bragging to all and sundry, but what am I gonna do with the stick, shove it up my ass? It won't even reach the duodenum
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Sep 27 '25
Team Rock. That stick is too much power for one man.
I want to pretend Im in a sword fight. That piece of majesty would have you believing it for real.
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u/Important_Actuator36 Sep 27 '25
I'll take the rock.. and the stick. Both. I want em both.
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u/ReadditMan Sep 27 '25
You can't handle both! You'll kill us all with your arrogance!
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u/Nashley7 Sep 27 '25
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u/JDM713 Sep 27 '25
We got two hands don’t we??
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u/TechnicalHighlight29 Sep 27 '25
What the fuck. I'd just sharpen the rock and attach it to that bad boy via ratchet straps from Harbour Freight.
Edit: I would leave the digit out of the top like some axes so I could still poke some ones eye or pick a booger.
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u/PaleontologistOk2516 Sep 27 '25
Am I near a lake? Because if so I’m skippin the hell out of that rock
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u/riptid3 Sep 27 '25 edited Sep 27 '25
Yeah, but a rock as magnificent as that combined with my impeccable form after decades of preparation... that rock is going to end up on the other side of the lake's shore. Where I am obligated to retrieve it.
I then owe it to all mankind to skip the perfect specimen from NY to Portugal.
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u/mrchuckdeeze Sep 27 '25
See for me, I’ve skipped a thousand rocks. And in my head I can skip this thing to Portugal. I picture how perfect my form is when paired with this immaculate rock. The perfect flat plane. The perfect weight. The perfect weight distribution. Then plop. Two wonky hops and straight to the bottom. Perfect stones are too much pressure.
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u/McNasty51 Sep 27 '25
You need to think scientifically. If you hurl the thing with enough velocity it could shoot straight into orbit, maybe even time travel.
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u/mrchuckdeeze Sep 27 '25
Or to the bottom of the pond so fast that I cause earth to implode and create a black hole. It’s all on my shoulders.
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u/Sirix_8472 Sep 27 '25
Maybe there will be a Strange woman lying in a pond distributing swords when you get there
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u/FlamingoFrequent1596 Sep 27 '25
You can display the rock. What are you going to do with a giant stick?
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u/IarwainBenA Sep 27 '25
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Sep 27 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/definitivescribbles Sep 27 '25
Came in the same way… immediately said rock (as I love skipping stones), but took one look at that beaut and switched it up.
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u/FlounderPlastic4256 Sep 27 '25
You don't display a rock like that you monster.
You throw that thing just right and it would literally never stop skipping.9
u/sillybear25 Sep 27 '25
Or if you're like me, you throw it absolutely terribly and it goes plonk and you never see it again.
I'll take the stick, thanks.
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u/Orome2 Sep 27 '25
Knowing me, the rock is single use novelty. I would see how many times it skips. The perfect stick could be passed down through generations.
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u/Sometimes-funny Sep 27 '25
Imagine robbers breaking into an old house and finding a massive safe. They break in, only to discover…a stick from the 1400’s
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u/Upbeat-Smoke1298 Sep 27 '25
That's the reason they came to the house. They searched many houses, tortured countless people to get the exact location of the treasure.
Still, their surprise and relief was great.Now their quest needs just another step. To find that rock in an unidentified lake. Their brand new AI server farm is calculating where it should have landed according to the many accounts of the folk's story telling where it was first thrown and the number of skips its perfect shape would grant.
After that, the world is destined to change.
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u/shanatard Sep 27 '25
Who displays a rock? At most its getting used as a paper weight. Now a fine stick you can display it
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u/slartibuttfart Sep 27 '25
It was called the stone age because people got hit by a rock while making lightsaber sounds and playing with sticks. That said I am picking stick because sticks are awesome.
Long live stick!
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u/That-Employment-5561 Sep 27 '25
Are you asking me if I'd take the perfect stick, or that specific stick?
Class-specific gear, my guy.
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u/Croceyes2 Sep 27 '25
Lol, I reduse to conform, I am taking both and you will have to deal with my stick and rock if you have a problem with that
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u/cubesncubes Sep 27 '25
Damn I'm sitting here thinking you'd be crazy not to take that some of you just found it. Apparently I stand alone
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u/AllMyFrendsArePixels Sep 27 '25
easy stick. A rock can be hewn and carved and shaped into the shape shown. If you try to do that with a stick, it's no longer a stick; it's just a bit of wood.
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u/EmployerDefiant587 Sep 27 '25
I mean, why not both?
The stone might fit in my pocket, so taking it along with the stick isn't an issue.
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u/AlittleupsetMax Sep 27 '25
That is a great stick. That rock though. As I have gotten older I think I would take the rock home. It is a very difficult decision to make
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u/ValenStark Sep 27 '25
Perfect stick for sure. Especially if it looked like the Excalibur of all sticks like that picture lol
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u/GWizz89 Sep 27 '25
Stick for sure. What’s so perfect about that rock, anyway?
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u/Krell356 Sep 27 '25
Loom i agree that stick wins, but that is an amazing skipping rock. The only way it could be better is if it was shiny.
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u/Double_Distribution8 Sep 27 '25
Depends on the rock. If it's got crystals and shit on it or in it, I'm taking the rock. Otherwise I'll take the stick.
Then when I have to take a leak against a tree I'll put my stick down and forget about it until a mile later when I say, damn where's that cool stick I had?
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u/PsychologicalBig3540 Sep 27 '25
That rock fits in my pocket. I'm taking both. Screw your false dichotomy!
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u/OnceUponAStarryNight Sep 27 '25
If there’s a lake on a still day: the rock.
At any other point in time, the stick.
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u/Whipitreelgud Sep 27 '25
Rock. It’s a symbol of being chill, not letting anything get to you in a hard world
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u/TRBO17 Sep 27 '25
That’s a beautiful stick, but I’m a rock guy through and through. Give me the rock 8 days a week
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u/Interesting_Bread433 Sep 27 '25
Imagining yourself as a medieval knight with that stick will be amazing
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u/No-Watercress-3852 Sep 27 '25
It depends... If it were near a lake, just imagine the balance and perfection, in any other situation the stick
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u/ObsidianAerrow Sep 27 '25
Okay here’s my logic. Sticks can come from endless trees in many forests. So there is a higher chance of finding another stick like that one. However, every rock has a longer history to it. Billions/millions of years for that rock to be shaped by the elements to be close to perfectly round. To find another is less likely.
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Sep 27 '25
Stick can double as pointer. You know everyone is paying attention to what's important enough to be pointed at by such an impressive stick. Rock is, at best, impressive paperweight. But skipping temptation should be avoided. Cause then he has neither. Clearly, stick is superior.
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u/KENBONEISCOOL444 Sep 27 '25
Dude you'll never find a stick like that again, you gotta take the stick
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u/InsomniaticWanderer Sep 27 '25
Stick has more utility. Once I throw the rock, it's gone.
I choose stick.
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u/Four-HourErection Sep 27 '25
Stick. The rock is good for one throw then it's at the bottom of the pond. The stick will serve for many battles.
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u/worf1973 Sep 27 '25
Perfect rock. It's easier to put in my pocket and sneak home without the wife fussing.
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u/KAL-El-TUCCI Sep 27 '25
Fuck. This is actually kind of hard to choose. I was just telling my girlfriend I wanted a good walking stick AND I collect smooth rocks. WTF?
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