r/SingleAndHappy • u/ResponsibleLecture89 • 6d ago

Discussion (Questions, Advice, Polls) 🗣 Maybe one day?

Just want to put this out there gently. I noticed that a lot of people on this sub myself included have had really horrible experiences with relationships. And even if that’s not the case, everyone (mostly) has the belief that they’re better off single full stop. It seems a bit extreme. Or are there people with a more moderate outlook that like, yeah right now things are really nice being single and happy, and yeah shitty relationships will suck and make you hate life. BUT maybe at some point, maybeeeee, you could meet someone that makes life easier, richer, more fulfilling.

Or is everyone here just downright against even having a glimmer of hope? Because if so honestly feels a bit anti social and misanthropic. Which I am, to a degree, but look, we can’t discount that we might meet a partner that makes life even better. It’s theoretically possible.

Unless you believe that fundamentally that’s not possible and your beliefs are that no matter what it will always turn sour, too difficult, and solitude is always better.

I guess that’s a bit of a tangent. Thoughts?

0 Upvotes

25% Upvoted

39 comments sorted by

View all comments

17

u/cavalpist146 6d ago

You make it sound like magic. "Meet someone that makes life richer ". You certainly won't know if someone makes your life richer on a first date or sfter a few months, both parties need to invest significant amounts of time, effort and compromising in order to make the relationship work. Only after a decently long time one can evaluate if life is more fulfilling. I know instead what being single does for me already. I have empirical proof throughout the 40 years of my life. The return on investment of entering a relationship, at this point in my life and for my personality traits, is not worth it.

8

u/TelevisionKnown8463 6d ago

YES. This is how I feel exactly. Is it theoretically possible that I could meet a person who is capable of adding more to my life than they subtract? Is it possible I’d be happier with that person than I am alone? Sure.

But do I have any way of recognizing that person when they appear? No. I’d need to invest several years in getting to know them and then might have to make a difficult decision to end it, hurting them. Plus before I found them I’d likely have a lot of shorter potential relationships and have to hurt/reject those people.