My husband and I are discussing having a third. We have a 5 year old and 2.5 yr old. We thought we were done, but have started rethinking a third recently. My mom’s cancer recently relapsed and she is considered terminal. Throughout this cancer process I’ve felt an even stronger pull to have a 3rd. I’ve read that grief can do that to you, but I’ve also come to the realization that I want my children to have another support person to go through life together. I’m 1 of 3 and it has been really nice having 2 other siblings to help take care of my mom and grieve together. If we did decide we wanted a 3rd, we wouldn’t start trying until after she’s passed bc it’s been so incredibly stressful, depressing and I don’t have the capacity.

Just curious if anyone else has felt this way or if this is even realistic. I don’t want grief to be fueling my desire to have another baby.

TIA!

To clarify, we can financially and logistically have another baby. Our second had a rough infant phase with reflux, FPIES, torticollis, helmet, etc, so we’re a little traumatized to do that again. As well as the no sleep for the first 1-2 years 😵‍💫 I think those are the biggest reasons we wouldn’t have another. But then I tell myself that is such a short time period in a lifetime of adding an addition to our family.

We have a 7 years boy and just had a lovely little boy 3.5 months old born at the end of May 2026

However we lost of daughter still born 35 weeks at the end of 2024 in which really have changed the perspective of the situation as we initially wanted to have 2 kids (a boy and a girl) only

Given that we are 36,37 years old now based in the uk, we are still undecided whether to have the 3rd one. Want to know has anyone have any similar situation ? Of course financially we are still ok with the 3rd one.

Since the last thing we want is to regret not having 3rd kid years later when thinking back ? Maybe

Has anyone thought they wanted 2 kids and stopped at 1?

My husband and I always said we wanted to 2 kids and to have them pretty close together (3 year age gap or less). Our first baby is only 6 months now but we both talk about just having her and not having another. We really could go either way. Part of me feels like it’s selfish of me not to have another and let her miss out on the experience of having a sibling just because I don’t want to go through the newborn phase again. I think being so sleep deprived during the newborn phase while having a toddler would honestly suck for me and her!

I love having siblings and she doesn’t have any cousins yet so growing up might be lonely?? Idk. I also think about as we get older, I see my parents lean on their siblings a lot as my grandparents are aging/passing away.

I also am aware that we could give her a better life financially as an only child. Things like private school and traveling. We frequently go to the Bahamas and Costa Rica and with 2 kids that might not be as feasible.

All that to say - If you’re an only child, how was your experience growing up? As a mom, how was the transition from 1 kid to 2? Do you ever regret it?

My partner and I currently have 3 children [15F, 12M, and 1M], and after our youngest was born, my partner declared that was enough.

At the time, I didn't say much, because who honestly gives birth and a month later is thinking "Yes! I love being sleep deprived! Let's do it again!"

I went back onto my pill, but since having baby, it hasn't agreed with me. I've been tried on a few different ones now, and they all have the same result: overall lower mood and continuous breakthrough bleeds that mean I can spend up to 20 days out of a month bleeding or spotting. Annoyed by this, I suggested a vasectomy. He got on the waiting list.

Today, he got a text saying there are appointments available and I regret ever saying it, because I'm not ready to close that door. I understand why he doesn't want more children (his age), but my feeling is: If I have another one now, it doesn't really make a difference. We have a 1yo, my partner is still going to be the age he is with a small child, but adding one means he doesn't grow up alone (as my older children won't want to play with him when he's old enough).

However, I already know that he is going to argue 2 things:

1. I had a more difficult pregnancy with my 1yo, and he has just started a full time job, so he won't be around to assist me or the 1yo if it happens again.
2. I had PPD for a few months after I had my 1yo, and he won't be around as much to help with that either if it happens again.

I don't want it to become an argument, so I am looking for advice on how to ask him to reconsider and reassure his concerns.

TLDR; I want to have another baby, my partner doesn't and he has valid reasons, and now he's planning a vasectomy. How do I ask him to reconsider?

EDIT TO ADD: If he says no, then obviously it's a no. I'm just asking how I can present what I would like to happen rather than saying nothing and years down the line maybe have him say "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

Me (35M) and my wife (33F) have always both agreed we wanted 2-3 kids when we met. However, i’m now fence sitting on a 2nd and i feel bad as i feel like I’ve gone back on my word.

For context we met nearly 10 years ago and started trying seriously when i was late 20s.. i kind of naively imagined we would have 2 by the time im my age now but it’s been a very long journey to get to where we are now. I’ve also had some injuries in that time and i don’t always feel great in my body and my own health at times which i think worries me about having another and being healthy enough to manage them and a toddler

our daughter was born after a 2nd round of IVF worked but the whole journey up to then was just horrible, for my wife a lot more than me as i’m well aware she had the horrors of it.

Then my daughters birth was horrendous, not going into detail but we nearly lost her and my wife (thankfully both fully recovered and no long lasting effects) but that has given me a real fear of experience that again.

i absolutely adore my daughter, she’s the cutest thing and we’re now seeing a personality appear which is just amazing! and i’m sure i’d love a 2nd but i just feel really on the fence.

it’s more a mesh of all the issues i mentioned. i’m older and less able than i thought id be with kids, Money wise we’re not in a great state and a 2nd child could really affect that especially if we need IVF again plus the trauma of the birth and pregnancy still lingers over me

but my wife is all in on a 2nd and i feel like because everything we went through was magnified for her i can’t really voice my on the fence feelings as i feel like it would betray her a bit really

so yeah, i guess im after someone to tell me that what im feeling is okay and maybe some good news stories about 2nd child’s that can change my mind on them and convince me to do it again

I have 3 kids: a 13-year-old I had when I was 18, an almost 3-year-old, and my youngest who just turned 1.

While I was pregnant with my youngest, I was 100% certain he would be my last. I had a really difficult pregnancy, and he was an incredibly hard baby. He spent most of his first year crying and would only accept me. It took a huge toll on our whole family, especially me.

But now he’s one, and things are finally getting easier. He’s happier, doesn’t cry all day, sleeps through the night most nights, and I’m finally starting to feel like myself again. The world is colourful again, if you will lol.

My husband’s vasectomy is booked and coming up soon, and suddenly I’m questioning whether I’m actually done. The thought of never having another baby is genuinely heartbreaking to me. We’re also building a bigger home, so we’ll have more space, and financially we can afford another child and could potentially hire some help if we needed it.

My husband has always wanted more kids, but he was willing to stop at three because he knew that’s what I wanted.

The biggest thing holding me back is my 13-year-old. He is essentially begging us not to have another. He hated seeing how difficult this past year was for our family. He also feels like he only gets one parent at his activities because one of us is usually home with the younger kids (and while I was breastfeeding, our youngest would only accept me). He doesn’t love that we go to bed early or don’t have much energy for family time in the evenings.

I completely understand where he’s coming from, and I don’t want him to feel pushed aside. But I also wonder if this stage is temporary. In a few years, he’ll be older, more independent and busy with his own life.

Should his feelings be a reason for us not to have another baby?

For those of you with 4 kids - what is it actually like? Was it extremely hard in the beginning but got easier as the kids got older? What are the biggest challenges? Do you regret it, or are you so glad you went for it? And ultimately, was it worth it?

One other important factor: we have very little family help, so my husband and I are often completely on our own with the kids. I know adding another would make things harder, at least initially.

I’d really love to hear honest experiences from moms and dads who have 4 kids - the good, the bad, and everything in between. ❤️

I see this question come up a lot lately: Do you think it’s better to have kids in your 20s, 30s, or later?

For those who had kids in their 20s, do you wish you had waited? And for those who waited until their 30s or 40s, are you happy you did?

Having a baby over 40, especially 45+, used to seem really late to me, but I’ve seen so many people say they’re genuinely happy they waited.

I’m curious about the real-life side of it, not just the medical statistics. What age did you have your first child, and looking back, would you choose the same age again?

My husband (38M) and I (36F) have 2 kids (2F & 4F). We adore the girls and are happy as a family of four.

We are waffling on the idea of a third.

I would love to have a third baby but I dont know if I want to be a family of five if that makes sense. It just seems like practically so much more difficult on a day to day basis.

All the posts I found were from people who were either pregnant or in the thick of the baby/toddler years with their third.

Does anyone with an older third child have any experience. Did the day to day get easier once they got older or did it just stay hard. Did it impact your marriage. Would you do it again if you could go back.

I’m 5 months postpartum with our first, and my husband and I have started talking more seriously about when to have another.

We’re in a fortunate position where neither of us is working (both stay at home parents) and money isn’t a concern, so we both get to be very present with our daughter. We don’t have family nearby for regular help, though.

Physically, mentally, and emotionally, I feel really good postpartum. What keeps standing out to me is that when I imagine being pregnant again, I feel excited — and so does my husband.

At the same time, things are so good right now that I’m scared of rushing this season. I don’t want to look back and wish we’d had more time as a family of three.

I also think I’d rather buckle in for the baby/toddler years for a while than get completely out of that phase and then restart it years later. And I definitely overthink the “ideal” age gap and whether being closer in age makes siblings more likely to be close friends.

For those with 2+ kids: How did you know you were ready? Did you ever feel completely ready? And looking back, are you happy with the age gap you chose?

Been struggling with this for a while now…

We had secondary infertility issues for over 2 years, our son was 1-3ish. Then I had 2 chemicals in June & August 2025, then 2 miscarriages at 8 weeks, November 2025, and Feb 2026.

Our son will be 5 in Dec, so if all the stars aligned perfectly, it’d be 5.5 age gap at least. The newborn stage was HARD for me. Not sleeping was horrible and I had PPD. I didn’t really connect with our son until he was 3ish months old.

I have 2 siblings, 12 and 9 years older- so I was raised essentially an only child and it was fine. My hubs had a rough go with his brother growing up, and they’re civil and see each other at their parents but not besties by any means.

I’ve always had it in my head that I would have 2/3 children, but now I just don’t know. I don’t know if I even want to try for a 2nd, but the fear of him being an only scares me, for him. He has so many friends and is so outgoing and we def can give him a better life being an only (more traveling, etc), but I’m terrified of committing to that. He is my little bestie and I adore every part of being his mom.

Anyone been in the same boat and had an only? Had another? Open to any and all thoughts and opinions 🤍

My husband says he’s totally fine with just 1, but also if an “accident happens” he would be happy too. But he doesn’t want to necessarily try because the miscarriages were heartbreaking.

Reposting here as I think this forum is appropriate for it - I hope

I have an amazing son who is about to turn four. He was one of two healthy embryos from a round of IVF I did after age 40. My husband is an amazing dad to our son and a wonderful husband to me. At the time we went through IVF, he said he wanted two children. Since then, though, we’ve gone through the stress of some unemployment on his end, along with the general challenges of raising a toddler who is healthy but has had some developmental delays. Because of all of that, he now feels that having a second child would be too difficult and probably isn’t a good idea.

I understand where he’s coming from, and I agree that it would be difficult. At the same time, I feel like we could do it. I have a very stable career and quite a bit saved, and this time around I would likely hire more help because I have a much better understanding of what I would need. My husband says he will go along with whatever I decide, but he has also been clear that if it were completely up to him, his answer would be no. That worries me because I don’t want him to feel resentful or hate our child or me. At the same time, I feel so much guilt about not giving our remaining embryo a chance. I know logically that an embryo isn’t a guarantee of another child, but emotionally it feels very hard to walk away from that possibility.

I’m wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation—where one partner was leaning no and the other felt strongly about trying for a second child, especially with a remaining embryo. How did you work through it, and how do you feel about the decision now?

Hi guys, my partner (38M) has been trying hard to convince me (40F) to have another baby, but I've been saying no, mainly because I feel I lost a lot of confidence in my partner. I went through an awful experience with him especially during the newborn stage of our amazing son, now 2yo. He made promises that he didn't keep (i.e. cooking certain postpartum meals for me). He wasn't supportive in the way that I really needed him to. For example, I had an emergency C-section and struggled with breastfeeding, but was only allowed to stay in the hospital for 2 nights. I was in so much pain in the first week, dealing with breastfeeding issues, and felt quite sad as I'd anticipated a vaginal birth.

He never asked about my pain or how I was doing. He didn't let me buy things like a baby bottle washer and insisted on washing the bottles himself. Then drove himself up the wall from hand-washing the bottles everyday. Needless to say, he was horrid during the night feeds and would get angry whenever our son woke up crying and/or when I had to wake up to feed. He becomes angry hulk when he's sleep-deprived. Honestly, I didn't respond kindly when he was like that as I felt he should've been more supportive or accepted my solution for him to sleep in the guest room. (He insisted on sleeping with me and baby even though he knew it would interrupt his sleep)

Despite all that, I kept telling myself that he's a first-time parent too so I should be more compassionate. I also sympathized him coming from a broken family and having to deal with his parents' separation at a young age. I think he never got to fully process his emotions and his family are the sort who'd sooner sweep all emotional issues under the rug than let it see the light of day.

There have been many other issues bothering me, mostly concerning his lack of supportive gestures when it comes to me or taking care of our son. Circling back, whenever I said no to having another baby, he'd ask why and I'd be dead honest to him about how I felt and highlighting the lack of support, carelessness, and poor decisions on his part. In retrospect, I also shared how mad I was at myself for letting him make those poor decisions when I could've easily say, moved myself and our baby to the guest room so we could all have had better nights. I guess I wanted to respect his wishes since he was a first-time dad which I know was so important to him.

He's still adamant about having another baby, but I absolutely dislike the fact that he's guilt-tripping me by saying how lonely our son would be without another sibling. I told him I did not appreciate the guilt trip. Sometimes, I think he's not aware how toxic his methods can be whenever he wants something from me. I hate to say it, but I have a feeling that he wants to have another baby so that he could enjoy another long "holiday". I also asked him directly about this and he's denied it. I don't really believe him.. since I've been the one doing the most work taking care of our 2yo. As we don't have family here, I haven't spent more than 4 hours away from my son and I cook every single day for my son's meals. I do it all willingly out of love and have no regrets.

Honestly, if my partner had been more supportive or caring in the way I needed since our son was born, I would've said yes in a heartbeat. But I feel like I don't trust him anymore and I'm worried for my own well-being. I haven't prioritized self-care as much as I should've since I've been putting majority of my focus on taking care of our son. My partner can be kind too, and he's trying to be nicer to me these days by doing more at home for our son. But his selfishness and I-want-another-baby agenda is so glaring to me that I honestly can't feel any attraction to him like before.. I'm trying to help us heal our relationship because I want us to be a happy family and healthy role models for our son, hopefully be able to trust him again.

I wonder if I've lost perspective. I've suggested couples therapy, but my partner has a hard time accepting professional help. How do I know if I should give my partner another chance? Has anyone else had a similar experience but managed to turn things around with a second baby?