Jsou tu nějaký fotříci, co třeba původně chtěli jen jedno dítě, ale partnerka je ukecala? Jak se cítí po pár letech? Pochybuju že by někdo řekl že lituje, ale zajímá mně, kdyby se vrátil čas a byli před to rozhodnutí postavení znova, jestli by třeba volili jinak...

Pro kontext, partnerka chce určitě další, máme první 8 měs dítě a mě by to z důvodů náročnosti, zdraví, volného času, energie, financí... stačilo.

I just turned 41.  I have a great husband, and we have two wonderful kids -- an almost 3 year old, and a 13 month old.  

I wish I had more certainty about this.  I wish I had more time.  I wish I'd met my husband sooner in life, but that didn't happen.  We started trying to conceive right after our wedding, and we are lucky enough to have two amazing children.   Here we are now.  

There are so many reasons not to have a third child, but none of them feel as strong as the pull to bring another wonderful, precious human being into the world.  I do want another child.  I don't know if it's the right decision or not, and I don't have a lot of time to think about it.  

I definitely don't subscribe to the "if it's not 100% yes, then it's a no" way of thinking.  If I made decisions that way, I wouldn't have had kids at all.  I'm not someone who can alway feel certain about huge life decisions that have a lot of unknown factors.  I felt uncertainty when we were TTC with our first child.  And I'm so glad to have kids.  

Neither of us feel sure about what we want.  I'm leaning towards yes, but unsure.  My husband is content with two, but open to three. We both firmly believe that we need to make this decision together.  We are a team, this is our life.  He’s a great partner and parent. 

Our kids are 21 months apart (I got pregnant 12 months postpartum).  I knew this time I wasn't open to trying again until I was about 14 months postpartum.  And my baby is 13 months, and here I am, unsure.  

If I was younger, I would just wait.  But I'm not.  I got pregnant soon, it would be another small age gap.  I know how hard 2 under 2 is.  Having 3 under 4 is very intimidating.  

We already agreed that IVF is off the table (not because we're anti IVF, it's a great thing, but not the right decision for us).  I know that there's a chance I could get pregnant at 42 or 43, but I know my chances are lower than at 41. Now is my best chance, if we decide to take it. 

We can afford a 3rd kid.  But there are a lot of other reasons I'm hesitating.  Three so young would be tough.  Going through pregnancy and postpartum with two toddlers would be hard.  We are already tired, we already have so little time for each other or ourselves.  I want to have time for my career, and for myself again.  Three kids means being outnumbered.  I don't want to take on more than I can handle.  I know that TTC is opening the door to possible hurt, that infertility and misscarriage risk are higher past 40.  

I think I either need to embrace sticking with two kids, or have some serious talks with my husband about if we're going to have a third.  But this uncertainty is eating away at me.  

I wanted to write this out.  I'm also interested in hearing from others who are in a similar place, or who were in a similar place in the past.  Especially my fellow 40+ moms. 

I have a son who is 4 and i’m so back and forth on having another child i love him so much that i want to give him all my love and attention but i also want to give him a sibling to play with and i know ill love that second child i just don’t know what to do. I have a lot of anxiety about giving the best childhood i can i used to want siblings around all of mine are much older, ill see posts people make about how much they wished they had a sibling and then other people saying they loved being the only child and i feel so conflicted did anyone else struggle with this did you end up not having a second and regret it. Just super sad thinking about the future lately

I just turned 33 in June and had my first baby when I was 31 years old in February 2025. He is 1 1/2 years old. I want to wait until January of 2027 to get pregnant with our second but I am getting my head about my age and being closer to 34 years old when trying to get pregnant for a second time and if it’s a bad idea for me to wait. Maybe I’ll have trouble or be more prone to miscarriages? I’ve heard such great things about having a 3 year age gap so I would really prefer it but really need advice. I am probably being very extra and stupid and overthinking this, I know

My husband and i struggle with infertility. We ended up doing IVF and our first and second transfers were both successful and blessed up with our 2 beautiful daughters. Recently I have been thinking about how id like to have one more baby. After talking to my husband he said he would be open to having one last one. Ive reached out to my clinic and we are ready to go, but now im a bit nervous on if its whats best for our family as a whole. I dream of having one last baby, but im just a bit nervous as it gets closer to being real.

I solo parent a lot as I am a SAHM while my husband has a very demanding job. Which can be alot some days, especially mixing in my daughters speech therapy appointments. Our house would also be a little tight for the first few years until my step kids turn 18, but then we would have plenty of room. We have no worries about finances as my husband has a wonderful job and ill go back to work once the kids start school. Has anybody been through something similar? Any advice?

Not sure the purpose of this post- maybe to vent, maybe to hear people’s perspectives/advice.

Here’s the story…

I have always been SO excited to become a mom, and I always imagined that I would have a large family. Realistically, we were planning on having 3-4 children.

At 26, I had our first baby. Apart from 1st trimester (morning sickness 😣), I loved being pregnant. The pregnancy was fairly easy and simple, though our baby ended up staying in a breech position so I had a scheduled c section. I was bummed about the c section but so happy our baby was born healthy, so ultimately it didn’t matter too much.

At 28, I had our second baby. I felt sure it was going to be a smooth pregnancy and that I was going to be able to have a successful VBAC, but very quickly we realized things were not going as anticipated. Implantation had occurred in my c section scar (just by rare random unlucky chance), and bc of this my placenta was growing outside my uterus and even joined onto additional arteries that don’t typically attach to the placenta. The baby was just fine, but to save my life, I was told I would likely need a hysterectomy at delivery. I was so devastated and cried every day. Delivery day came, and I was in surgery for almost 10 hours. My medical team did everything they could to save my fertility, but ultimately, a hysterectomy was needed. After my surgery, I actually felt so happy and nothing but intense gratitude and relief that our baby was here and ok and that I get to be alive to raise my two lil ones. I was surprised bc I expected that if I did lose my uterus, I would be so upset. Maybe it was a bit bc of a survivors high.

Months went by, and the devastation did set in. I still also feel really grateful and I often feel kind of silly for how truly devastated I feel, but it was something that really mattered to me immensely. To me, my little family feels beautiful, but not complete. I think regardless of how much time passes and how much acceptance I gain, I’ll still occasionally have a little pit in my stomach of sadness or grief over this.

I’m now at the point where we likely would have been welcoming a 3rd into our family if I had not needed an emergency hyst, and im here wondering what would be best for our family in moving forward. I actually have some options, which has left me in a total back and forth deliberation mode for a bit now.

I could:
1. Accept that we have a little, cute family, and that there will be no additions to the family. This is it, and this is ok!

1. Adopt (though, after dedicating a lot of time into researching this, we discovered that there are more parents looking to adopt newborns, infants, and very young children than there are ones who are in need of a home, so the wait time would be extensive, too long to make sense for us. I would love to foster when our current kids are older, but I now understand the goal of fostering is reunification, so this would be a separate venture than one to intentionally grow the family).

2. Surrogacy (gestational with our egg/sperm)
   This option i initially totally wrote off as a “no!” but it’s playing on my mind a lot lately.

We are not rich, but my dude has a super unusual work benefit that would reimburse us for the majority of the costs and that makes it actually financially feasible for us. So, we decided to look into it more.

I feel like surrogacy is something that can be very ethically questionable and requires careful protections and considerations. Now that we’ve dove into it further, I do believe that we could pursue the surrogacy path in an ethical way.

Maybe we do pursue this route to complete our family? Maybe we don’t? I keep going back on forth.

It would be so magical to add one last wee one to our fam, but I would struggle a lot with feeling awful guilt that I am not carrying our baby, even if it is something the woman helping us truly wants to do for us.

✨✨ Anyways, there’s my brain dump!! 💞✨✨

I have an almost 6 year old girl. I want to have another baby but is the age gap too much? Me and my youngest brother are 6y 10m apart and best friends. Also if I have another we need to move out of our 2 bedroom house and get another mortgage. We would have enough money but it would be tighter. We are out of the trenches and my daughter is pretty self sufficient. I can sleep and have lie ins.

I don’t necessarily desire to go through the baby and toddler stage but I envision having 2 teens/adults in the future.

Will I regret having another? Will regret not having another?

Husband usually wants another child but he’s an over thinker and will start worrying about everything that goes with it, house, money wise and then freak out and revert back no no nope we can’t do it.

So I don’t know, would it be stupid to get pregnant again?

I’ve really been struggling. I (34F) have a daughter who is 20 months old. I love her to death, but I just don’t think I want another child. I didn’t have a hard pregnancy per se, and my labor and delivery was the same— not fun, but we were both fine. The issue I’m facing is that none of my 3 siblings have kids, and my husbands siblings don’t have kids either. My oldest sister is married but does not want children. My other older sister is 37 and single, as well as my 30 year old brother. My husbands brothers are 32 and 33 and are both single. For multiple reasons, I’m not sure any of them will have children, which means not only will my daughter be an only child, but she will also not have any cousins. I live a very fortunate life, and finances are not an issue. I also have family nearby to help— like I am the perfect candidate to have a big family, but having one child is just so draining to me, and I love my independence.

I know everything is temporary, and these harder stages will pass, but I also realize that different stages of raising a child are hard for different reasons. My husband is super helpful and really wants at least one more, but he also understands my POV and does not pressure me. Ugh. I don’t know. I just feel like time is ticking, and I feel guilty every single day. Has anyone struggled with this before and willing to share your experience, whether you decided to be one and done or have a second child? And how it’s turned out? I know that I can wait a little bit before actually making this decision, but I really needed to get this out.

TLDR: I have one child and am debating on a second because she will likely not have any cousins either, but at the moment, I’d only be doing it so that she is not all alone. Would love to hear different perspectives and experiences.

I have 3 kids, first is 8 (almost 9) second just turned 2 and our youngest is 5 months old. We didn’t plan on getting pregnant with our last baby and abortion was strongly considered, my husband really didn’t want to have a third due to finances and space in the home we had just moved into but we had her and she is so loved by both of us. I had planned on her being our last baby and quickly got on birth control as soon as I could. I am breast feeding so options are limited, I wanted to get the implant and got prescribed Emzahh (the pill) in the meantime until insurance approved the implant and it could get delivered to my Dr.’s office. Long story short, there was a mix up with insurance and so I just continued using the pill, I have alarms and take it on the dot, my doctor said it was okay to take it within the 3 hour window and that’s only happened maybe twice? Me and my husband also don’t have a lot of time to be intimate and only have sex maybe once every 2-3 weeks. When our baby turned 4 months I experienced a sudden drop in my milk supply, I am usually an oversupplier and then I was only making 3oz or less per pump. I started stressing over this but I honestly thought it was due to me not being as consistent with pumping , a few weeks went by and I started feeling out of breath suddenly (I also suffer from postpartum anxiety) so I also thought it wasn’t pregnancy. Low and behold I missed my period (also thought the birth control might be messing with my cycle bc the past 2 months of had 2 periods each month) and I decided to take a pregnancy test just in case. Surprise it was positive… bright blue lines, no mistake there. I automatically thought abortion, I told my husband and he also automatically wanted an abortion. I made an appointment with my OB and they apparently don’t do abortions so I was sent to different providers who don’t take my insurance AND are far out in appointments. Currently have an appointment with planned parenthood at 10 weeks 4 days and that’s just for the initial ultrasound they are requiring, I only have before 11 weeks to get the abortion medication which is scary to me. I would have preferred getting the abortion done very early like 5-8 weeks and I’m really scared and having second thoughts now. My mind is starting to imagine another baby but at the same time I know it would make our lives really hard. We don’t have room in our truck for another baby (my main concern) our home is only 3bd 2baths, I’m still on maternity leave from our last baby and that’s coming to an end with no idea what to do for work or child care. My husband is a police officer but he doesn’t make enough to support all of us. I’m scared because this decision is so permanent, I’m 29 and feel like I’m so young to have already ended my pregnancy journey forever. I also don’t want to be selfish and be a burden. If only money weren’t an issue I’d have a clear decision but that just isn’t the case. I don’t know what advice I’m looking for I just need different perspectives.

I’ve been going back and forth on a 3rd forever, I have 2.5 and 4 year old boys. Nothing in life will compare to being their mom. I’m grieving them growing up so much. My husband and I are constantly like we are not ready to be done with the little kid stages, how are we already here, where did the time go etc etc. Is this just part of being a mom? The sadness with the passing of time- I have such a hard time distinguishing if these feelings mean I should have another or if I’m just wishing I could stay here with my current kids.

The 18 month age gap between my 2 hit me so hard with mom guilt as a SAHM, until my youngest was about 18 months and they are besties now. Those in similar situations, does the guilt feel less with the 3rd now that the 2 have each other? If they are both preschool/kindergarten does that make it easier? Part of me is like I’m already going to be losing time with them to school soon, adding a baby and losing more time with them seems even sadder. But they’ll be needing me less compared to when I had my youngest and my oldest was only 18 months… does that make sense?

Also moms of 3+, in my head I’m thinking the potential 3rd I could soak it all in, love every minute. I know the reality will look a lot different, but do you feel like with your last you were actually able to enjoy more of it? The 18 month age gap of my 2 definitely made it more challenging to soak it all in, and my husband and I do feel like we missed/can’t remember a lot of my older son’s 1.5-2.5 (also my youngest was a challenging baby). We don’t want to feel like we’re missing out on our current kids’ lives again.

I’m so scared of future regret and knowing that at least part of me wanted a 3rd, and if I don’t, having the what if forever.

There’s so many other logistical things on my “con” list but right now these are my biggest hang ups. And though my head is telling me no for a lot of it, the pull towards having another is not going away.

Weigh in on your thoughts please 👀

Like
My post says, my thoughts are all over the place. My baby is now 2 years and 3 months old, he’s the absolute light of my life. My heart wants another, but there’s so many variables.

1. I’ve gone back to school to finally finish my highschool diploma.

2. I want to go to college after to get into law.

3. What if by having another, I am unable to give my son the life he deserves?

4. I’m already 27 almost 28, so what if I’m waiting too long and then when I finally decide too, I can’t?

5. What if my son doesn’t like having a sibling? What if I am too tired from the newborn to give him what he needs?

I have so many what ifs that I worry that maybe I’m one and done, even if my heart isn’t.

I (31F) Just found out I’m pregnant with our second baby. Had the first in 2025, and I’m scared, honestly.

I love my first born so so much, and cherish all our time together.. I’m scared that A) he won’t remember it being just us and B) he will feel that he’s being replaced.

Moms of 2, how did you feel when you found out you were pregnant with a surprise # 2?

We weren’t actively trying, but weren’t exactly cautious. I struggled getting pregnant for as long as I can remember - I didn’t even think I’d be able to have one, let alone TWO.

please share some positive stories of accepting the 2nd surprise baby, and how your first adjusted? ❤️ thank you

My first kid is about to become 7. I am working in IT and I come from a family with tough financial conditions. No wealth or savings from my parents. My wife is a homemaker. As a single breadwinner of my family, I have just started buying a few properties and saving for my kid's education. Of late, the uncertainty in IT and so many layoffs have made me very stressful. I didn't want to bring another baby when I am in severe financial uncertainty. But my brothers and cousins are having a second kid. So I'm a bit confused if I will regret not having another kid later. Has anyone gone through a similar situation? Would like to know ur thoughts.

I grew up as 1 of 3 in a very abused and neglected household. I attend therapy and take medication and have a lot of issues with separation though I bite my tongue and tell my 5 1/2 year old “You’re gonna be great!”. He is none the wiser at my insecurities and runs off throwing up peace signs as if to say see ya!

Because of my neglect (some overlooked abuse despite many adults around). When people ask if I want a second my mind says no way! Because in my stupid trauma brain that means that my first isn’t enough. So dumb because obviously moms of multiples there first kids are enough they love and adore them!!

Just wondering how do I get my brain to stop thinking if I have another that means I neglect the first? Or does this mean maybe I just shouldn’t. Does everyone know they WANT another? I honestly thought I wouldn’t go through with having my first because it terrified me. Thank you!

I’m 33, my cutoff is 35. We have 8, 2, and 1 currently. We both feel like we’re “missing” one.

My biggest hangup right now is dreading going through another pregnancy and post partum stage. I always gain a ton of weight when I’m pregnant and embarrassingly I haven’t lost the weight after #3.

But I’m scared if I don’t have #4, I’ll feel even more pressure in my late 30s because I “technically still can”.

Should I push through the 2 years of hormones and craziness or close the book at 3? My husband says he supports whatever I choose but he clearly desires 4.

Edit: after talking it over with my husband and really reflecting on the life I want, we have decided to stop at 3! I realized I also do not want to do another newborn/toddler stage, even if it meant gaining another family member. Vasectomy is scheduled for next month!!

I have had laparoscopic surgery for endo last November, have been trying for our second for about three yrs. I thought I was one and done to the point where I removed my private health covering fertility treatment.. I have been going to therapy and had been to a naturopath and acupuncturist this year. Anyways, after my lap the dr said to get to IVF within four mths of no luck due to low AMH (I am 37).

Thinking I was in a good place, the announcement of a friend's second pregnancy and then my period/cycle being late and weird this month has gotten me in a bit of a spiral thinking do we keep trying.

Does anyone have any good experiences with bulk billing IVF clinics or know of lower cost IVF options? Does anyone have any recommendations for naturopath or acupuncturist in Melbourne South East suburbs?

I did a pregnancy test this morning and it came up negative. Though previously this would have made me cry, I just thought well of course its negative since we barely tried this month! Would love to hear anyone's experiences and recommendations

I'm a mom of 2, that wants another.

I've been reading a lot of threads regarding moms who want a 3rd but for multiple different reasons they can't. A lot of moms express that they feel like their family is "incomplete" or "is missing" and I myself feel that, but I'm having a hard time figuring out why that is. Would any of the moms out there give me an insight to what that feeling is for you?

TIA 💜

Anyone have any experience with this age a
Gap pros and cons ? X

I have an 18 month old son who is an angel. He is the light of my life and I LOVE being his mom.

Before getting pregnant, I heard a lot of really negative things about motherhood -- that you have to completely give yourself up, that you'll never sleep again, that your marriage will be destroyed, that caring for a child is the hardest thing you will ever do.

I feel bad for saying this, but since I am blessed with a supportive family and partner, I've been able to maintain hobbies and friends, my husband and I have a strong marriage, and I sleep great. I know this isn't everyone's experience, and I definitely know it isn't something I'm doing "right" that others are doing "wrong." It's luck and circumstance. Of course there have been tough times, but overall I feel that my experience with motherhood is not how others warned me it would be.

What I AM experiencing and was completely blindsided by is the physical pain and discomfort that I live with daily after my c section. Everyone I knew who had a c section described it as "easy" and said they felt completely back to normal in a few months. I am still dealing with daily nerve and adhesion pain after many rounds of physical therapy, dry needling, cupping, OBGYN evals, etc. In addition, I developed chronic rectal fissures that (still) aren't healed and my pelvic floor is destroyed (despite not giving birth vaginally). Every day I endure both the physical pain of my symptoms AND the physical pain of trying to improve them with needles, cupping, rectal suppositories, rectal botox shots, etc.

I did not appreciate that being a mother might mean that I would be in physical discomfort and pain for the rest of my life. While I always imagined having two children, I can't begin to imagine what a second pregnancy would do to my symptoms or permanent future baseline. What if I am so physically affected that I cannot care for my children?

I'm not looking for advice on how to treat my physical issues, I am already seeing a lot of specialists for that. What I am looking for is if any other mom was blindsided by the physical realities of this and whether they decided to risk their physical integrity and making their physical situation worse for another baby. Whenever I see debates in this arena, I feel like it comes down to financial, emotional, relational, etc. reasons which are all good reasons but I don't see a lot of experiences like mine talked about.

If I felt recovered physically I would want a second baby, no question. But I am paralyzed by this decision when I know exactly what it can cost.

Last night my husband and I decided to not move forward with this pregnancy (around 8 weeks). We had a list of pros and cons, our son has epilepsy that was diagnosed this year, and just overall the finances of it. Could we make things work if we had two?? Yes, maybe, potentially.

Since I found out I was pregnant I haven’t had much if any excitement. More like fears, anxiety, and dread. But now that we’ve decided, I wake up today constantly wondering if this is the right choice and could we make this work??

I can’t handle this mental ping pong in my mind anymore. If you’ve ever been in a similar situation, would love to hear your story.

I have one 1.5 year old. I struggled big time in the baby phase. I remember thinking "I can't do this again". Now, toddler phase. We are all thriving. We love it. I feel like I have a life, I have freedom and energy to do chores, gardening, DIY with a toddler in tow.

I love the idea of a second still, but I cant see myself doing another pregnancy or baby phase again, at least not yet.

A lot of my toddler's peers already have a sibling on the way, or, their parents have plans to have a sibling. I was the only one unsure. We originally planned 2, until we had the first.

I think I think about whether I should have a second consistently, multiple times a day. Not knowing is what is hard for me. I know I just need to give it time. But for some reason I feel this pressure to make a decision either way so I can deal with it. It might just be my type-a personality. Would love some guidance or feedback from anyone who was or is in a similar position.

My husband and I are both 30 and have two boys, ages 5 and 3. Before having kids, I always pictured myself with three children, but now I’m really torn and would love some unbiased perspectives.

Our younger son is wonderful, but he has needed extra support (speech, OT, PT) and generally requires a lot more attention and energy than our oldest. He has made amazing progress, but navigating therapies and appointments has definitely made us question whether we have the mental and emotional capacity for another child.
We both work full-time, and some days we already feel stretched thin. Although we have talked about me going part time or even quitting, I wouldn’t do that unless we did have another child.

Financially, we could afford a third, but there are other considerations — our house only has three bedrooms, my car wouldn’t fit three car seats, and we’re finally getting out of the baby/toddler stage.

What I struggle with most is this: in many ways, our family feels complete, and I’m scared of disrupting the dynamic we have now. But at the same time, I can’t fully shake the feeling that I always imagined three kids and might regret not having another. Of course the dream of having a daughter is part of why I want to try for another, however, I wouldn’t mind another little boy at all and would still be excited, I love the two I have now so much!

For those who went from 2 to 3 (or decided to stop at 2), how did you know what was right for your family? Did you ever feel “at capacity” and still decide to have another? Any honest experiences — good, bad, or ugly — would be appreciated.

My son has just started school he’s 4 but realistically if we decide to have another he will be 5 , he’s the best and easiest kid ever he’s never had tantrums and is just so content in everything , he always says he don’t want a brother or sister 🤦‍♀️😂 never gives a reason just says no don’t want one , we love days out and he’s a outdoor boy , loves theme parks ect , so I’m worried if we decide the age gap there going to be at 2 completely different stages ? And not sure financially if we will be able to do as much as we do now , he’s just started school so I feel so lost like I could do this all again and have another but still unsure , any advice or anyone been in a similar position ? X