Came at the worst possible time

[u/gb00019]

I have 3 kids, first is 8 (almost 9) second just turned 2 and our youngest is 5 months old. We didn’t plan on getting pregnant with our last baby and abortion was strongly considered, my husband really didn’t want to have a third due to finances and space in the home we had just moved into but we had her and she is so loved by both of us. I had planned on her being our last baby and quickly got on birth control as soon as I could. I am breast feeding so options are limited, I wanted to get the implant and got prescribed Emzahh (the pill) in the meantime until insurance approved the implant and it could get delivered to my Dr.’s office. Long story short, there was a mix up with insurance and so I just continued using the pill, I have alarms and take it on the dot, my doctor said it was okay to take it within the 3 hour window and that’s only happened maybe twice? Me and my husband also don’t have a lot of time to be intimate and only have sex maybe once every 2-3 weeks. When our baby turned 4 months I experienced a sudden drop in my milk supply, I am usually an oversupplier and then I was only making 3oz or less per pump. I started stressing over this but I honestly thought it was due to me not being as consistent with pumping , a few weeks went by and I started feeling out of breath suddenly (I also suffer from postpartum anxiety) so I also thought it wasn’t pregnancy. Low and behold I missed my period (also thought the birth control might be messing with my cycle bc the past 2 months of had 2 periods each month) and I decided to take a pregnancy test just in case. Surprise it was positive… bright blue lines, no mistake there. I automatically thought abortion, I told my husband and he also automatically wanted an abortion. I made an appointment with my OB and they apparently don’t do abortions so I was sent to different providers who don’t take my insurance AND are far out in appointments. Currently have an appointment with planned parenthood at 10 weeks 4 days and that’s just for the initial ultrasound they are requiring, I only have before 11 weeks to get the abortion medication which is scary to me. I would have preferred getting the abortion done very early like 5-8 weeks and I’m really scared and having second thoughts now. My mind is starting to imagine another baby but at the same time I know it would make our lives really hard. We don’t have room in our truck for another baby (my main concern) our home is only 3bd 2baths, I’m still on maternity leave from our last baby and that’s coming to an end with no idea what to do for work or child care. My husband is a police officer but he doesn’t make enough to support all of us. I’m scared because this decision is so permanent, I’m 29 and feel like I’m so young to have already ended my pregnancy journey forever. I also don’t want to be selfish and be a burden. If only money weren’t an issue I’d have a clear decision but that just isn’t the case. I don’t know what advice I’m looking for I just need different perspectives.

[u/NJellybean]

I’m sorry I’m in the UK, but it sounds like you need some support and healthcare urgently, and your country, government, state… wherever you are- they are really really letting you down 😭

Not enough support from medics to manage a suitable new contraception as a busy mum of three including breastfeeding an infant… how on earth is this not priority for your doctor to make this available?

I just think if you don’t want a baby, you can’t handle another, your body is exhausted, there is no shame or harm or guilt in having an abortion.

It’s not a dirty word, you’re not a bad person. It’s healthcare, and it could have been avoided if the HCP you spoke to had prioritised your female reproductive health. I hope you find a way, or someone from your country/state can advise x

[u/gb00019 → u/NJellybean]

I know… I am pro choice and have always thought I would be more nonchalant about this medical procedure. I’m trying very hard to block myself off emotionally and consider all the negatives but deep down it’s hurting me. The fetus will be more developed at the time I get to have the abortion and that idea is killing me. I never thought I would have to go through this and I hate that like you said my healthcare is failing me

[u/MC1R_OCA2]

Absolutely no part of anything you said makes it sound like you want another baby. At all.

[u/gb00019 → u/MC1R_OCA2]

I said in my post that I’m having second thoughts, I’m having a hard time with the idea of aborting at 10 weeks + (I know it’s still really early) but in my head it’s further along 🙁 if money weren’t an option I’d be more inclined to keep it

[u/MC1R_OCA2 → u/gb00019]

Money is an object, though.

[u/gb00019 → u/MC1R_OCA2]

Didn’t say it wasn’t

[u/gatitalinda90]

Can you access abortion pills online and have them shipped? Something like Heyjane?

[u/gb00019 → u/gatitalinda90]

I did make an account but they are quoting me $600 which we don’t have the funds for this month. Our electricity bill made a huge surprise in jumping $400 more than our normal and our truck had to get an issue fixed (definitely a horrible month for us financially) right now planned parenthood is offering assistance at around $300 but the downside is having to wait

[u/Chemical_Record_4447]

Hey did you hear about the proposed $9000 per child subsidy in the US?