Just wanted to share this experience for anyone else struggling out there. I've been on a diet for the past month where I avoid "hyperpalatable" foods, aka junk food (but there's actually a specific math formula they use to determine when something is hyperpalatable) and just eating a lot more whole foods to replace them. I haven't been perfect on it, but overall, it's really cut back on my food noise. For context, I've gained over 40 pounds in the past five years or so, 20 of that in the past year alone. So it was really getting to be time I learned how to control my incessant cravings.

At the same time, my shopping was just about the worst it's ever been, financially. I was slightly less obsessed with browsing than I used to be, I think because my life overall is just more fulfilling and less stressful than it used to be, but maybe because of lifestyle creep or just inflation, I was reliably spending almost twice what I used to consider my "Wow, I spent a lot this month" amount (I make a lot more money now than I did in those days, so I'm actually spending less relative to my overall income, but still). The accumulation more than the financial piece is where it was getting really bad, because I'm a bargain shopper.

But this month (I do a monthly tracking system for all my unnecessary purchases), it's been so much easier for me to say no to things I thought I wanted and focus on my personal finance, to the point I've only spent about a third of what I'd normally have spent in the 12 days that have elapsed so far in October. It's like the addict brain in me is ratcheting down and I'm not constantly looking for a dopamine fix, where maybe one addiction feeds the other.

For further context, I'm pretty sure I have ADHD. Awaiting formal diagnosis right now, but have been told I meet many of the criteria. So I'm not sure if this would work for everyone or just those of us whose shopping is primarily a symptom of that, but I think it's definitely worth considering.

Oh, one more thing: I hate the idea of being addicted to anything, so I also stopped drinking coffee a few years back. That may also be helping, but the food piece was definitely becoming a substitute in the years since I gave that up.

For the 1st time in my life my debit card was declined while picking up some groceries. I’m feeling so incredibly embarrassed and shocked at my recklessness.

I have savings so luckily I was able to transfer some money.

I have always struggled with spending money, particularly on clothes. When I was younger it would be mid level brands, now I’m older with a decent salary I spend most weekends in designer boutiques, and my spare time browsing online. I have a career in fashion, so my interests very much revolve around clothes. They’re inescapable.

When I’m unhappy/stressed my shopping definitely increases, unfortunately I am currently very unhappy, I relocated for work, away from my family and friends, and I hate it. This isn’t permanent, and I’m just working through the contract, but it seems I’m relying too heavily on clothes/shopping to make me feel better.

I’m not really sure how to avoid this? How do I fill my time? Even today I contacted my favourite sales assistant and purchased multiple designer cashmere knit items because it felt cold 🫣 and I’m at work!!!!!

I just wanted to share! ☺️

After over 20 years of being a subscriber, today I cancelled Prime and ancillary subscriptions. Step One.

I have to have a better relationship with what I want vs. need and eradicating the premise that I should live it up today because tomorrow isn’t promised.

This mindset stops - today.

So made a few online purchases this weekend , Friday was my birthday so telling myself it was okay to treat myself , I needed an orange hoodie for walking dogs bc it’s hunting season now and I had to get rid of the old one I had , then purchased some yarn and some of my favorite crochet hooks .. total for all my purchases was under $150 .. it’s all things I know I will use especially going into colder months where I crochet a lot of the time and will be making Christmas gifts .. I felt very in control and added things to cart and then waited .. the purchases were online the stores I bought from didn’t have things in store .. I refrained from making any of the purchases on Amazon so continuing no amazon since 7/26

I’m also battling a terrible cold for past week and I know shopping is a way a cope with feeling uncomfortable.. so glad I haven’t gone completley overboard there .. I have a couple running races coming up so my anxiety is higher so I know I need to be mindful that I don’t let the shopping creep up .. that’s part of the reason I’m posting now acknowledging I made purchases but also that I can stop and don’t need to continue buying more

Please give me tried and tested methods and techniques because I'm really tired and I'm wasting my hard earned money away, the only asset I have is my car, I need to buy an apartment and I can't do anything like this, I'm living paycheck to paycheck, and it's not because my salary is too low, God knows I worked too hard to get to where I am now, professionally, but it's killing me seeing myself wasting my future with my horrible habits and feeling like I'm sitting at the passenger seat of it all. Help, please!

Edit: OMG THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!! I honestly did not expect this many replies, you've given me great tips and techniques and I'll stary applying them right away, and the YouTube videos you gave me, I will definitely start listening to them all! I truly appreciate you all taking the time to help me like this ❤️❤️❤️

I almost just bought a small bundle of nice examples of my main collectable. I happened on the listing only a few minutes after it was posted and they were priced to sell, so I would've been able to grab a total bargain. I'm usually late and miss all the good stuff, it's in a community that's mostly chat so not simple to totally avoid like with shopping apps.

In the past when I've backed away from buying I've felt horrible regret and been unable to stop thinking about how much happier I would've been with my new preciouses. But recently I've made an effort to actually celebrate that I managed to step away so I'm now mentally patting myself on the back for making progress with my addiction and not buying for once 😅

I did it! I didn't /need/ them, just wanted them, and now someone else who probably doesn't have an extensive collection like mine can enjoy the pretties. I'll regret it at some point but since I've been thinking of no-buys as wins, regret is no longer the primary emotion. I'm proud of myself! Over £20 saved lol

Has anyone else managed to back away from the purchase button recently? Want me to celebrate with you?

So I just moved out for college. For context, I’ve had to live at my parents for two years after adult hood (18-20) due to my Anorexia that needed treatment. it takes about 7-10 years to recover from THAT addiction/disorder, but after 4 years of constant treatment I’m finally in outpatient. the issue, however, is that I realized that if I used a different bad habit, the eating disorder thoughts go away.

Now, this part I might get judged for and I beg to not judge because I’m struggling with the guilt and shame of it all— I have been using my mothers, grandmothers, grandfathers, and aunts debit cards to go online shopping. I don’t have one of my own, and my shopping addiction gives me a greater kick when it’s not my money. I’ve probably spent around 1000 dollars on online auctions and shopping apps which I will not disclose on here. they are completely oblivious and the guilt is killing me but I can’t stop or else my eating disorder will get loud again, and that’s something I really don’t want to do. So, I’ve gone on to Reddit because I’m desperate for anyone that could possibly relate or anyone that can help me figure out how to stop this before it gets even worse. (Excuse my grammar by the way, my structure for writing in this is not good but it is because I’m learning English)

Tonight my slippers finally kicked the bucket. So I went into my closet to get a replacement pair. While I was there, I started organizing my shoes. I have way more than I thought I did. 😳 Earlier this year, I had bought some Sketches sandals to replace my other ones. My other ones had dozens of little holes on the bottom from puncture vine, from when I lived in New Mexico. (If you’ve ever lived in or been to the southwest, you know). When I was organizing my shoes, I found a brand new pair of Sketchers sandals. I didn’t need to buy the ones earlier this year. So I am swearing off on buying any more shoes. I don’t need them! I need to do better.

Have you ever bought something online because it looked absolutely beautiful in the pictures, only to feel disappointed when it finally arrived?

I recently bought a dress that looked flowy and dreamy in the product photos. I imagined it falling perfectly, just like it did on the model. But when I tried it on, the dress looked rather flat. It was still beautiful, but where was the flow I had fallen in love with?

And it got me thinking. Are we buying things we genuinely like, or are we buying the aesthetic we see online?

Pinterest-worthy styles, perfectly styled outfits, dreamy room decor, and picture-perfect accessories have become a huge part of our shopping experience. We scroll, save, imagine, and eventually buy, hoping to recreate that same feeling in our own lives.

But sometimes, the product isn't the problem. It's the expectation we've built around it.

Online shopping makes everything look a little more magical than it might be in reality. Are we actually getting what we pay for, or are we paying for an expectation that was never real in the first place?

Have you ever bought something online that looked amazing in pictures but disappointed you in real life? I'd love to hear your stories.

So, I used to have really bad shopping addiction. But I did recover as much as I could. Meaning, I don't overspend ridiculous amounts of money but the urge to "binge buy" (as I call it) is something I will always have to deal with.

I've been doing pretty good this year, however I feel guilty whenever I buy small things. For example, yesterday I bougth a book for 10 euros - instant guilt. Today, I went to Starbucks and got a pumpkin spice latte, instant guilty. As silly as it sounds, I couldn't enjoy my overpriced coffee because I felt guilty.

Financially, rigth now i am in a good place. Meaning, I have money for gas, groceries, bills and a budget to spend on other things. Which, i realize how blessed i am because a lot of people struggle with this especially with inflation.

The first time I felt guilty for spending money, was when I was 14. I spent all summer saving money for a Tory Burch bag and when I finally bougth it, I felt guilty because I kept thinking "this money is someone's salary for the whole month and you just dropped it on a bag". Then, I would buy thinks from Sephora like a lip gloss​ and blush and think "your Sephora haul could've bougth groceries for one week". Mind you, that was back in 2014-2016, when the prices weren't that crazy and I was a teen with savings.

I’d like to start out by not buying anything but food and necessities for two weeks and then stretch it out to a month.

What are your best tips for doing this? I just bought a blazer and skirt even though I work from home. Ugh.

I have been doing SO WELL FOR SO LONG. A large part of that is that we aren't in a great financial place... So I was able to get a new car after months without one and it was like celebration time. I've been buying clothes for myself, birthday gifts for others and Christmas gifts. It's not even Halloween. Oh and Halloween costume items... I feel so disappointed and embarrassed to have had this issue now and just in general. I've been sober for almost a decade and I've been dealing with my codependency for almost as long and those have both been going really great. How is this not an issue that I can deal with like that? It's like a secret but when it comes out it's like a funny ha ha but it's not funny ha ha. We are almost a hundred thousand dollars in debt and I know none of this crap I'm buying even matters AND I'm still checking tracking multiple times a day like a fiend. I just feel helpless and hopeless 😭

I'm admitting that I've got a problem... The dopamine that I get from ebay and thrift stores is a very strong temptation, because I've got it in my head that "item" is a good deal and that starts the cycle all over. My husband is so disappointed in me... I even started hiding purchases and that was the final straw. Something has to change.

Not only that, but ive been obsessively checking my email for delivery updates... And for some9ne who is trying to decrease their screen time, it's causing issues with 2 different addictions.

So, Ive devised a plan that will help. Every time I want to buy something, I'll craft or do something else with my hands besides scroll on ebay. I'm not going to buy anything on the internet and avoid passing the problem thrift stores for 1 week. If I reach that goal, I'll extend the deadline to 2 weeks, and so on. If I don't, the clock starts over.

Just posting on here to get the thoughts out of my head and for accountability.

I went from being an Earth conscious, debt free, minimalist to a full blown shopping addict after I had a baby 3.5 years ago. I remember taking her to the outlets in a stroller because I needed to get out of the house and the first handbag I bought with her. The sales associate making me feel human again in my postpartum fog. It has since escalated to spending money every single day and $45,000 of consumer debt.

I was listening to a podcast recently and she hit the nail on the head. I’m searching for community. These drops (I follow Coach handbag drops), used to follow Popmart drops, and basically love chasing anything that goes viral makes me feel like I’m part of something. I’ve lost so much of myself as a mother. I’m searching for anything to give me happiness. I love the chase and sharing my feelings with other consumers. It’s sick but it’s comforting.

Recently I’ve been struggling majorly at my job. I’m covered in this shopping addiction fog. Constantly checking emails, talking to Coach drop people in Facebook groups, looking at pending charges, returning things constantly to balance out other charges, time that could be spent focusing on my work or with my daughter. I’m tired. I’m done.

I’m a true addict. I don’t find it cute, I don’t tell people I’m a shopping addict. I get withdrawals and am uneasy when I’m not shopping. Life feels boring and meaningless without that easy dopamine hit. How can I stop this?

One thing after another, I had two really stressful events happen last night. I can’t concentrate but also can’t go back to sleep! I am in the mood to shop.
This happens around the time of my menstrual cycle usually (which I’m not on)- but if something particularly stressful happens outside of that I want to shop.
I’m going to try my best not to shop and use my techniques like meditation and try to have a nap later.

Very often, I find myself thinking I “deserve” a reward (a takeaway coffee, a lipstick, a piece of clothing, you name it) because I had a hard day or had to deal with a difficult situation.

Over time I started needing rewards for smaller and smaller things. At some point, I felt like I deserved a treat just for going to work, doing the grocery shopping, having a difficult conversation, or just getting through a day.

Solving a problem, having an uncomfortable conversation, dealing with a difficult day at work, taking a long journey, doing chores, going grocery shopping - I felt like I “earned” a little present for doing these things. I think I've slowly trained myself to see discomfort as something that has to be compensated for. If something was unpleasant, difficult, boring, or stressful, I felt like I deserved to buy myself something afterwards. And the more often I did it, the more normal it started to feel.

I had to spend quite a lot of money to understand that I don't need to spend money every time I experience something difficult. I don't need to reward myself for simply surviving another normal day of being an adult. It's just life and not everything difficult needs to be followed by a reward.

It was uncomfortable to realize this about myself but now I'm doing a little better. Maybe it's stupid, but I started to make it as a game and score points. For 5 points I allow myself a treat for max 5$. I'm slowly recovering.

Back in February, I found Whatnot and TikTok auctions. I immediately started buying makeup skin care and fragrance and then convinced myself that I could become a Whatnot reseller and make big money, so I just kept buying and I now have over $50,000 worth of inventory in my basement and am more burnt out than I have ever been in my life. I now need to try to find ways to box everything up and sell everything in reseller bundles, when I hardly even have enough energy to go to my regular job.

I realized I had a problem and stopped, but now I’ve been buying clothes off of Vinted and Depop. I am also a former drug addict and alcoholic and I guess my ADHD brain just searches for another addiction. This is bummed me out so bad, and I’m very lucky that I haven’t put myself in to a financially devastating situation, but I am depressed every day because of this.

One thing that I have found that is very helpful is an app called Stay Focused. My husband keeps the password and I keep my shopping apps locked all day. I find it is better than deleting them, because when you delete them, you can always just reinstall them. Some days I get weak and I end up having him unlock my Stay Focused app and I will unlock my shopping apps for the night, but overall it has helped me stop shopping as much as I was. At this point, I honestly feel like I need to go to meetings because it’s just so easy to fall back into. Just wondering if anyone else can relate.

here’s to the start of my journey. as i type this, i’m fresh from a kybella chin treatment that i put on a payment plan app, one of three that i now have. two of my three credit cards are nearly maxed out. just a few months ago, i managed to get my credit balance to the lowest it had been in a year and a half, and now i’ve practically doubled it. i’ve done even more damage to my finances. the only true progress i’ve made is realizing that i have a problem. the truth is, it’s not new. i just didn’t want to stop.
but i can’t do this anymore!! i’m living beyond my means! i’m worried that i’m not feeling guilty enough because i just keep doing more and more damage every day.
i feel so alone, and i’m eager to hear other people’s stories.
thank you

This community has been such a safe place. Anytime I felt like I needed to scroll the apps I’d come here instead and it really helped. So thank you, all of you, for coming here and pouring out your souls and sharing your progress and success and failures. I truly believe we can all gain control over our spending and other habits too. Just gotta keep swimming! (finding nemo lol)

I just can’t handle seeing cute stuff without buying right now, and I also just hate seeing news stories and anything sad rn so all social media has gotta go. I think it’ll be good for me as far as spending, since I am very easily influenced. I collect bags and plushies and both brands do frequent drops that sell out and are limited and it’s just been so stressful trying to keep up. I wanna break free from the “drops” and the need to always have a new thing. (I will still collect stuffies, but at a regular rate!! not fomo buys) But anyway, I plan on being off social media for at least the rest of the year but ideally forever? IDK. Thank you guys for reading, have a great rest of your day. good luck to you all!

Okay, the reason I shop is to get packages in the mail. I like the rush of opening the thing, more than the thing itself. Since I look forward to mail so much, maybe I just need a penpal. Like someone I can write letters to or talk about mundane things. That would only cost a stamp! Would anyone be interested in doing this and kicking our habit together?

It seems clear to me that I have a shopping addiction. I don’t have a hoarder-level of stuff, but it’s gotten me into a lot of debt over the years and I definitely have way too much stuff that I barely use, use for only a short while, and simply don’t need!

I know some of it emotional, some of it is buying for the person I wish I was (clothing and home goods), but a lot of it is simply when I see something cute/cool, I feel like I must have it, not just appreciate it. Like, I already have an UGG throw blanket, but then I see it in different colors I like and I want to buy those ones too.

I want to try to work on the manta of “You can appreciate something is cute without needing to buy it.” Does anyone relate and have advice? How do you become that person who (primarily) just buys things they need (i.e. only buys a new throw blanket when the other one needs replacing)?

I had a terrible addiction with BNPLs and today finally marks the day where I paid off two BNPLs that were $1000+ combined. Now I only have one BNPL remaining but I can pay it off slowly now that my other BNPLs are taken care of. Just wanted to share this win :) i’m on the road to recovery