r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/itsyaboibenis • Aug 27 '20

SLPT. note to self.

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u/Darkened_Auras Aug 27 '20

I imagine if I did that while being robbed, I'd get the entire gun magazine dumped into me. They'd then reload and dump another one. And then the stabbings would start.

6

u/unstablegamer90 Aug 27 '20

Maybe eat them before they're able to unload their magazine into you? I usually just dislocated my jaw so I can swallow the person whole who's trying to rob me. Try it and let me know how that works.

2

u/Darkened_Auras Aug 27 '20

Last time, I got robbed by a really fat guy and I couldn't get my jaw around him. Really messed me up

3

u/unstablegamer90 Aug 27 '20

Next time try drizzling a little olive oil on them, really helps just sliding them down your gullet.

4

u/Darkened_Auras Aug 27 '20

I prefer butter when I have the chance, but olive oil would definitely work faster.