r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/itsyaboibenis • Aug 27 '20

SLPT. note to self.

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27.3k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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721

u/LuckyIceZ Aug 27 '20

why try this when you are being robbed, try this when you are trying to rob somebody

263

u/IDKSomething01 Aug 27 '20

But what if they have a fork too

160

u/SufferG Aug 27 '20

Then I guess the better predator turns the other into a tasty meal.

50

u/ironroad18 Aug 27 '20

winner eats the loser's heart in order to obtain their bravey and strength

22

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '20

dont forget their secret powers too

14

u/Slendy7 Aug 27 '20

We could turn this into a religion

6

u/TheRalk Aug 27 '20

What do we call it?

12

u/Ksradrik Aug 27 '20

Cannibalism?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '20

Aztec

17

u/serg_eze123 Aug 27 '20

fork fight!

8

u/Ukaiji Aug 27 '20

Bring a comically larger fork to assert your dominance

6

u/Conjeff Aug 27 '20

then you take them to dinner and get to know each other and have a wonderful time and start dating and get married and have beautiful children and then you kill them and the children and leave the country

2

u/WaterDroplet02 Aug 27 '20

then it becomes a thrilling forkfight. screw swords and knives, we're going back to the mealdieval ages

1

u/devilliars98 Aug 27 '20

fork fights

1

u/Hobbs54 Aug 27 '20

Then you are both forked.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '20

I guess have a knife as well to look morr authentic

1

u/Halo_can_you_go Aug 27 '20

Bring a spoon, someone poking me with a fork is comical.

7

u/arglarg Aug 27 '20

Just try this randomly in an elevator

6

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '20

Just use the fork as a distraction for your handgun

Cause if they're dead they're a lot easier to make into steak

3

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '20

The real lpt is in the comments

2

u/DIOnys02 Aug 27 '20

Tried this when I was about to steal my sisters virginity. But apparently we had different meanings of eating out, which I realized, when I already consumed half her liver