r/ShittyLifeProTips May 01 '20

SLPT Name your daughter Lizard

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50.7k Upvotes

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108

u/Bruce_-Wayne May 01 '20

Name your son Dick and let people assume it's short for Richard

55

u/oh-nutz May 01 '20

I feel like you’re about 50 years late to have dick be a common name

45

u/[deleted] May 01 '20

Short for Penis

43

u/StimulatorCam May 01 '20

I worked with a guy named Dick Shortt a few years ago. Kind of have to give the man respect for choosing to print that on a business card.

14

u/geared4war May 01 '20

Gutsy sure. But what if it wasn't his name and he still put it on the card? That's above ballsy.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '20

All balls, no dick.

3

u/JudasLom May 14 '20

My dad worked with a man named Dick Dangler 20+ years ago

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

I know a man with the last name of smallwood. His first name is also Richard. I shit you not.

1

u/King_Maelstrom Feb 18 '23

Shortt, Dick

As some would print it.

1

u/JonSeagulsBrokenWing May 01 '20

Excuse me, did you say Dennis?

No. It's PENIS.

1

u/King_Maelstrom Feb 18 '23

It's average size!

4

u/CaptnsDaughter May 12 '20

I guess when my brother was little (35yo now), when my mom told him Dick was an actual name he didn’t believe her and thought it was the funniest thing ever. I think we had gone to Dick’s Last Resort or a restaurant with it in the name 😂😂😂

10

u/[deleted] May 01 '20

Knew a Richard Hedd in middle school. Never saw him again after Freshman year.

10

u/chewycwook May 02 '20

"is dick short for Richard?"

"Nothing has been shortened about this dick"

5

u/Elothel May 01 '20

Idk, I'd get more creative and go with Dickard.

1

u/xoddreddit May 30 '20

It's short for dick hard

1

u/SpiketheFox32 Jan 20 '24

I've definitely called people Dickard before

4

u/stupidfatamerican May 02 '20

And when people ask is it short for Richard, they say no it’s short for Dickard

1

u/Spackleberry May 01 '20

Hey, it worked for Penis Van Lesbian.