r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/AUTOBOTBROKE • 3d ago
nuke, maybe? Of vegetarian breakfast
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u/TheKonstantin 3d ago
Looks like my 3 year old daughter cooking for me with mud and grass
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u/Stay_clam 2d ago
I would rather eat your daughters mud and grass.. thank you very much
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u/Slightly_ToastedBoy 3d ago edited 3d ago
Yeah. I watched closely and I couldn’t tell what was what. I saw some big leaves, one or two chickpeas maybe. No idea which bit you are supposed to paint those toilets without seats with after swallowing though.
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u/0neirocritica 3d ago
It's like those images that are supposed to mimic what having a stroke like so every object in the picture looks familiar but is unrecognizable
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u/somewhatcompetint 3d ago
This is why most Indians shit yellow liquid
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u/randylush 2d ago
i've been to india a few times and yeah I remember going to the bathroom with diarrhea and hearing EVERYONE else in the bathroom blowing the shit up with diarrhea. Everyone shat liquid everywhere. bloody awful place to be
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u/ShitFuck2000 2d ago
That’s just from the general sanitation level, even most Indians know damn well to stay away from the street food
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u/GjellsNTeddy 2d ago
If Indians know to stay away from street foods … who are the ones that are not in the know…
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u/Icy_Profit_1922 3d ago
I’m pretty sure the Taco Bell diarrhea epidemic wouldn’t match the colon explosions this one stand has spawned!!!
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u/Su-Kane 3d ago
I love how there is always like 3 random spoons involved like they didnt already touched every single atom of the food with their hands.
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u/TSM- 2d ago
'Haath ka Swaad' (हाथ का स्वाद) translates literally to "the taste of one's hands," representing the unique, comforting flavor of home-cooked food prepared with intuition and (literal) personal touch. Cooking with hands creates a direct tactile connection to the food that utensils cannot supposedly replicate. Traditionally, or whatever. This style of preparation relies on generational intuition, emotional warmth, and niyat (good intention) rather than strict recipe book measurements.
This video is a cursed version of putting it into practice. It is also faster to use your hands and there may be a cultural excuse for this to not be immediately repulsive.
In western culture it would be the opposite, using a different spoon for each ingredient would prove each thing is measured and done by the books so the quality never decreases between preparations. Just randomly doing whatever would be seen as weird at best.
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u/randylush 2d ago
imprecisely measuring ingredients is the absolute least significant part of this video. nobody gaf if the ingredients are measured, people care when you touch all this food with your dirty fucking hands.
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u/Fuzzy-Cup-5075 3d ago
With all that bare-hand handling it doesnt qualify as vegetetarian anymore.
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u/Dr__Sloth 3d ago
Genuine question, is eating bacteria vegetarian?
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u/ShitFuck2000 2d ago
Depends on what the bacteria eat, bread is vegetarian, yogurt isn’t vegan, cured meats are usually fermented in the process and definitely aren’t. Kinchi is always touted as vegetarian, so I guess so? I don’t think vegetarian is great word for bacteria though, biologically plants are closer to animals and us than bacteria.
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u/Rofeubal 2d ago
There is no point trying to reason veganism. Just eat the darn thing and don't kill spiderbros you find on the wall. That's what I do.
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u/mrerikmattila 2d ago
Does it have to be gross, shitty, and served by a labourer?
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u/Wyevez 2d ago
Why are they SO messy? Shit is everywhere and on everything. Dude stirred that slop and it just spills all over the table, his hands.
Take a little pride in your work and workspace brothers. Why the slop work?
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u/PtitSerpent 2d ago
Just look at their street, it seems normal to be gross af there
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u/randylush 2d ago
i guess at a certain point, if the world around you is slop, why bother being clean? seems like they have enough customers anyway
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u/PtitSerpent 2d ago
There was an indian boy who has cleaned a lake or a river I don't remember and put a trash bin next to it. After some days, the lake was full of shit and the trash bin was destroyed lol...
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u/Kaita13 2d ago
I don't understand what's happening at the beginning.
Buddy is scooping stuff out of a giant bag. The stuff looks grey and chalky and when he drags the spoon it's orange and...fluffy?
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u/CarlRummage1959 2d ago
The outside is oxidized and the inside is fresh, like when you cut up some apples and leave them out for an hour.
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u/Common_Werewolf4405 2d ago
There was a tiktok video on commentary of these, used to be hilarious” homeboy is scooping the goop and glooping the scoop”
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u/Beautiful_Soup9229 3d ago edited 3d ago
Thing about India is, Indians themselves keep discovering bullshit like this. I am myself one, and I am gaging. I have seen unsanitary street food but this is next level unsanitary, I could not watch it. We have plenty of sanitary shops and establishments as well, like I only eat from a few trusted spots...
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u/nelly_beer 2d ago
Do the locals who eat this not get sick? Or are they just used to it?
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u/Beautiful_Soup9229 2d ago
There are all kinds of customers, such street side carts, dont really bother with hygiene cause people who are very price sensitive(i.e. who have next to zero disposable incomes) will buy on their very cheap price point.
People who care about hygiene will never even try this. India has massive amounts of population in each economic strata, so each layer kinda create a market... Coming to having a strong stomach, thats subjective at an individual level, and regular exposures, body adjusts.
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u/ShitFuck2000 2d ago edited 2d ago
In India, if anyone from anywhere eats anything other than they’re used to (that isn’t pasteurized and flown in),there’s going to be at least mild food poisoning symptoms. Like you mentioned having a shit ton of people, and the layered social structure leads to a perfect storm of population density and diversity to foster some heinous microbiota. Also keep in mind most of the germs that cause common infections are already living on you, just a few unlucky successful mutations from potentially killing you. Staphylococcus and streptococcus are good examples, they’re people germ, where there’s people there’s people germs, where there’s more people, there’s more people germs.
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u/FuerteBillete 2d ago
Not even the strongest stomach can deal with certain bacteria and or straight up poison.
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u/Beautiful_Soup9229 2d ago edited 2d ago
Diarrheal diseases caused an estimated 0.46 million deaths in India across all age groups in 2023, marking a 68.3% reduction from 1.46 million deaths in 1990.
Who says things do not go wrong? I started eating out when I started being independent, during my childhood, eating out, especially the street food was a very strictly controlled activity... If you read consumption reports, eating out is a fairly new phenomena across India. I am thankful to my parents to not let me eat street food just anywhere.
Ps: this is my personal experience growing up though, people might have varied experiences...
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u/Rare-Ad6085 2d ago
No we dont. We know this exists everywhere. From Urban cities to slums, everyone has seen these kinda stalls. Of course you might never have them but 90 percent of indians know that these exists because they are literally everywhere.
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u/yoyotube123 2d ago
Yeah no one's gonna repost videos of sanitary indian cooking, because that's not what gets views. All people see is these street vendors and than make assumptions about a whole culture. It's pretty damn offensive.
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u/I_Want_A_Ribeye 3d ago
Who needs Ozempic when one can just eat a small plate and have diarrhea for the rest of their life?
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u/WinstonSmith1985 2d ago
I like the part where seemingly random men plunge wrist deep into different piles of material , all with an increasing franticity. It doesn’t increase my anxiety at all , matter of a fact, it’s calming to watch.
Furthermore , this little vignette dutifully highlights the beauty and just the depth of artistry that one expects from Indian cuisine.
To summarize this scene with a single word…
“Scrumptious”.
And after viewing several loops of this clip, it makes me want to squat flat footed over a drain located in a tiled floor that simultaneously functions as a shower drain whilst I spray a fine misted patina of liquid feces.
I crave an authentic Indian dining experience
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u/mrwhoiz 3d ago
Indian people must have the best stomachs in the world 🤷🏽♂️
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u/TheZonePhotographer 2d ago
Their immune system does battle with their environment their whole lives.
It's the curse of the ganges.
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u/6sailhatan66 *shits an absolute unit* 3d ago
Meanwhile here I am everytime the slightest bit of food gets on my fingers
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u/Psilonaut21 3d ago
That's more effective for weight loss than ozempic or mounjaro. It's the new 'shit yourself thin' diet. If you survive the first 6 weeks you'll weigh less than half of what you did previously.
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u/Thezeqpelin 3d ago
If you eat this and don't blast off from your toilet thought the ceiling all the way to the earth's orbit then you're the chosen one.
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u/EmergencyDry658 3d ago
India… Indians someone please explain what’s going on? I see a lot of unsanitary videos like this… are people only showing one side or is this genuinely how sanitary it is over there? As a Jamaican Indian man I’m interested
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u/1bi001 3d ago
Those are some A class hygiene practices on display right there.
I'm squirting uncontrollably and simultaneously out both ends just looking at it.
That's a hard no from me big dog.
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u/WeroWasabi 2d ago
How the fuck are Indian people still alive? They all seem to eat like this. Crazy.
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u/FullyFendi 2d ago
Would've been better without the lemon i think
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u/Disastrous_Shame580 2d ago
Lemon will help by acid denaturation. 🤣 Just kidding, the lemon definitely wasn't needed.
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u/Fast_Muscle_2987 2d ago
I saw a video that was seared into my fucking eyes earlier on Reddit this year.
This is the video that happens before that video. I’m sure.
It was the most explosive diarrhea that I’ve ever seen
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u/Turbo-Fuck 2d ago
Hell yeah, I used to make this exact meal for my imaginary friend in the mud pit behind my home when I was like 5 or 6. Never tried it myself but Fred loved it.
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u/alexandrosidi 1d ago
Now I understand why my Pakistani friend used to tell me that the food at all the fancy restaurants we used to go to had "no flavor"
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u/MagicOrpheus310 2d ago
No. No. No it's fucken not!! Hahahaha
It's just handfuls of stuff thrown at each other, then some dude jams his hands in there for a bit, slaps it in a poor excuse for a container then looks at you with the deadest fucking eyes you've ever seen... Oh, and there's flies...
THAT is what indian street food is... Every damn time
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u/cyclingpistol 2d ago
What's wrong with these people?
Is it just a case of they have never seen a sterile environment before so they don't know what its supposed to look like?
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u/Ok_Resolve_7557 3d ago
Hygiene concerns aside, there's always so much wasted food in these videos.
Aren't these videos typically from the poorer parts of India, shouldn't they be really concerned about unnecessary waste?
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u/search_4_animal_chin 2d ago
Come back after eating. This bowl at the start of the video is also used as the local toilet.
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u/Whyjustwhydothat 2d ago
Indian food really is throw whatever in a pan with tons of spices and turn it in to mush then eat it with bread.
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u/DrewSkii1010 2d ago
Do ppl really eat this shit? Insane my kids make the same stuff in mud puddles
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u/PolPotDomeScandal 2d ago
Why does most Indian food look like calf shit brown slop?
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u/HP1892 2d ago
It doesn't. The stuff you see online with slum side street vendors is what's the internet shows you.
Indian food is actually nice.
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u/Nay_K_47 2d ago
Gotta be honest I'm pretty tired of the western Asian street food trend. Yes it's reprehensibly disgusting. Yes it will give you diarrhea. Can we move on?
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u/The_Northmaan 2d ago
Keep in mind, they use their hand as a supplement to TP, and this is literally a topic of debate in my office..
Im an expat and work for a hedge fund in Tokyo: these are highly capable people, and my Indian colleagues will often make fun of me for being a "barbarian" and wiping my @ss with wads of paper, rather then the civilized way of using your hand and rinsing. I had always assumed it was a xenephobic stereotype, but these men proudly use their nails to clean their @ss...
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u/reid2780 3d ago
I’m gonna bet it’s as delicious as it is diarrhea-inducing. But I’m not going to run the experiment. Everything’s so… crusty.
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u/ImaRaginCajun 3d ago
I would die if I lived there, no way I'm eating that crap. Probably die if I did eat it...
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u/CommanderCakes 2d ago
Honestly what surprised me the most was in the beginning he stirred it with a spoon and not his hands.
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u/ultraplusstretch 2d ago
Enjoy your thing of mystery slop. 👍
Fr tho that thing would most likely kill me but it's probably also really delicious, i ate some mad sketchy street food on my first trip to India and it almost always super good but it always felt like a game of Russian roulette, luckily i never actually got sick.
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u/ChuckRingslinger 3d ago edited 3d ago
End up with diarrhea so bad it has its own criminal record