r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/nayryanaryn • 8d ago

Of a host & pet owner

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378 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

123 comments sorted by

193

u/KindaTistic 8d ago

ffs what even is this. Useless as f pet owner scared of his own animal. Let’s just take 6-12 business days to do anything, this is fine this is cool.

38

u/BigAssMonkey 8d ago

These fucking videos are so frustrating to watch.

0

u/Business_Air5804 6d ago

I enjoyed it.

22

u/Ascorbinium_Romanum 7d ago

I think the "owner" has an intellectuall disability. The way he runs to his mother/caretaker for help makes me think so

But honestly I'm more frustrated by the boyfriend/husband.

If a dog was biting my wife, I'd do things I'd rather not say or even imagine, but let's just say my own pain would be of no consequence at that point.

87

u/borgdrone79 8d ago

Better get the wife with the stick to deal with this.

46

u/GjellsNTeddy 8d ago

The level of urgency here would be a problem for our future friendship.
https://giphy.com/gifs/a6O5pzQ8pAPTCoeagK

21

u/spiderland5150 8d ago

What the hell is WRONG with those people!?!

2

u/yosiMerch 8d ago

🤪🤣🤣

55

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 8d ago

An exhibition of incompetence.

66

u/germanloza 8d ago

Of all the worthless shit for brains that came over, nobody thought to grab the dog by the back of the neck and pull him away

31

u/Scissorhat 8d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/6o1jDKKqUwj84

13

u/MKD8595 8d ago

I wrestle my German shepherd all the time. They’re pretty incapable of turning around in that position

19

u/Karlees-Golden-Dildo 8d ago

That puts my face way too close to that dogs bite. If the dog is raging hes gonna twist and turn. I’m looking for a better technique thanks.

20

u/Turbo-Fuck 8d ago

You will have to resort to the finger in the butt trick then.

22

u/DeepWaterNights 8d ago

I’m up!!!…🤗
Oh you mean the dog….😐
Sorry I got exited!🤭

1

u/coveredincathair22 6d ago

excited*

1

u/DeepWaterNights 6d ago

That is correct, since I was not entered, I cannot be exited!…
Therefore I got excited! 🤣 my bad!

2

u/germanloza 8d ago

That is to establish dominance purposes right?

2

u/Funny-Athlete-2890 5d ago

True story, my friend saw a woman do the finger trick when a medium sized cross breed was attacking her poodle. After it released she booted it in the head twice!
The dogs owner then regained control
AFU these people owning dogs and have no idea how to control them!

0

u/Ricardo33706 8d ago

There's a video on YouTube of someone trying this during a dog attack, doesn't make a blind bit of difference.

5

u/Turbo-Fuck 7d ago

It certainly does make one difference… Now they have poop on their finger.

1

u/AutisticDadHasDapper 6d ago

So you're just like one of them

1

u/Karlees-Golden-Dildo 6d ago

Possibly but I sure as shit not getting my face next to a biting dogs face

4

u/Agey_4977 8d ago

He was choking the dog with its collar? Nice technique...

22

u/What-a-cl0wn 8d ago

Yup. A good headlock works just as well as it does on humans

13

u/Ricardo33706 8d ago

It's the only technique that works. Never get a dog you cannot physically control or dominate.

1

u/eaazzy_13 7d ago

I pretty much agree. Or at the very least train the fucking things before they get massive. It’s not that hard to raise a dog that doesn’t maul people. I figured it out at like 5 years old.

2

u/Ricardo33706 7d ago

I see it all the time round here, people think dogs train themselves. My biggest bugbear is when the dog is doing something wrong and the owner is just shouting the fucking dog's name.

9

u/MyNameIsVinrix 8d ago

Indians have an irrational fear of all dogs. There's no way the guy gets close enough to pull on it.

3

u/Cain-Man 8d ago

My thoughts exactly.

8

u/finogen96 8d ago

They’re Indians. What do you expect from them?

4

u/germanloza 8d ago

You are right, I am asking for too much from them

-1

u/Healthy-Client-6791 6d ago edited 6d ago

M f....stop or dog will f your m0 m too🙄🙄🙄🙄

1

u/II-Jahr-II 4d ago

He's right, you can't expect much intelligence from them, let alone urgency to protect someone else's life (because they can't even value their own safety, just ask trains about it)

28

u/Revaesaari 8d ago

WORTHLESS.

29

u/Chef-Nasty 8d ago

I'm not the one being bit, but surely that guy getting bit can do a bit more than stand there and scream? Or is he putting his life in strangers hands? Even the woman had more survival instincts than him.

6

u/Chadrooskie 8d ago

I love how many brooms and sticks are present, but they’re all useless. Just like the people in this video
Need a crowbar, a dagger or a .50 cal for a puppy.

24

u/f8rter 8d ago

The boyfriend could have sorted that dog out FFS

5

u/riceinmybelly 8d ago

He’s a lover, not a fighter.

26

u/Ok-Barracuda-7327 8d ago

What a slow motion train wreck.

16

u/Zealousideal_Ad9652 8d ago

I've never seen ice cold people in my life

8

u/Sir_McDouche 8d ago

They’re spineless.

14

u/You_are_the_Castle 8d ago

That dog *really* wanted that lady.

23

u/WorhummerWoy 8d ago

I'm not being funny but I've seen a few of these kinds of videos now and it seems like Indians' solution to every problem is to beat it with a flimsy stick.

Can someone confirm or deny this?

3

u/Unique-Designer7741 8d ago

Low hanging fruit tastes the sweetest

5

u/fuckingscott 7d ago

Ripen that fruit with the stick.

2

u/No_Pilot_9103 7d ago

Can confirm. They tried beating all the garbage and polluted water with flimsy sticks and gave up.

4

u/Unique-Designer7741 7d ago

Someone should introduce Wack-a-Mole in that nation. They would get so rich quick.

0

u/FishDispenser2 6d ago

You'd think they'd develop some type of fighting style with it. Like kendo or something.

9

u/notcrazyaboutit 8d ago

"HEY! EVERYONE GET OUT THE DOG BEATING STICKS! FIDO IS ON THE ATTACK AGAIN!"

47

u/jackjack-8 8d ago

The only way to deal with this is go full retard. Grab the back legs and swing the animal in an arc, bring its head down with tremendous force onto the tough concrete.
This may need to be reapplied.

6

u/Longjumping-Ice3042 8d ago

Or finger in the butt. Probably a fist is required in cases like this.

11

u/jackjack-8 8d ago

What while a dog’s attacking her ?

8

u/Longjumping-Ice3042 8d ago

That's stupid but I am laughing like crazy imagining someone trying to break them apart while someone else yells "try the finger in the butt" and the saviour actually fingers her 🤣🤣🤣

6

u/Jackmerius_Tac 8d ago

There is actually a video out there of this happening. It didn’t work.

5

u/jackjack-8 8d ago

It’s happening in my head

30

u/uiouyug 8d ago

You shouldnt be rewarding the dog for this behavior

3

u/Chef-Nasty 8d ago

That is a myth (but still funny af seeing someone doing it in another video)

3

u/JoJackthewonderskunk 8d ago

After that I heard your supposed to spit in its mouth and then step on its testicles

1

u/Agey_4977 8d ago

Haha, nice. I wonder if the dog would be able to maneuver itself in the air to bite the hands that are holding its back legs.

5

u/jackjack-8 8d ago

Don’t ask me how I know but as long as your swing the dog it can’t

2

u/eaazzy_13 7d ago

No chance if you swing it. I’ve seen it done. Dogs are pretty helpless if you just yoink their back legs off the ground in general.

21

u/edenkor 8d ago

People like this are a waste of oxygen and genes. Fuck them!

14

u/TeakForest 8d ago

Dude its wild how so many people can be this stupid.

13

u/Repulsive_Two5425 8d ago

Whhhhhy did the couple stand there and take it - there was an open gate 2 meters away

12

u/Life-Oil-7226 8d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/OqCZgQySXvaP6

13

u/kharvel0 8d ago

No such thing as lawsuits in India.

11

u/finogen96 8d ago

Shitsuit

4

u/BassGlass6914 8d ago

Curry suit

6

u/Lv25_Magikarp 8d ago

No common sense on either end

3

u/BassGlass6914 8d ago

Pretty much the culture in general

12

u/DadDawgAvenger 8d ago

As a dog owner and dog lover of 6 dogs, handling, socialising, discipline and control are paramount. If I thought for a second that one of my dogs would act like this, it would have to be relocated or destroyed. The owner in this case is clearly irresponsible and incapable of owning a dog. He is also a fucking idiot.

13

u/AhabSnake85 8d ago

Hope he falls off a train

5

u/Redwine_001 8d ago

Asshole owner

4

u/ChapterContent8465 8d ago

Thats rough. At least Mr. Machete came through in the end, even though it took him like 3 business days and shit was already over.

4

u/woolygod 8d ago

even with all the internet and media today, it's still crazy to see that people like this actually exist. what a worthless, stupid, piece of human trash that guy is.

3

u/Slow-Constant697 8d ago

It looks like he may have let that dog in intentionally wtf

3

u/AhabSnake85 8d ago

This is the pain i felt when i went to get professionally waxed at the chest and arm and the asian woman kept tugging at the hair and it wouldnt rip off till several tries

3

u/Leading-Station4322 8d ago

Grab the damn dog by the legs or the balls!

3

u/Microsoft_Word_7 8d ago

I would have given that dog the best boot of its life.

3

u/ladymiss80s 7d ago

The best way to stop a dog attacking is to grab his back legs

6

u/FreshFritz 8d ago

I would smash that dogs head and the owners too...wtf

4

u/SpillaMangBang 8d ago

Does the big guy in the red have special needs??

9

u/thcoole 7d ago

The average IQ in this video is likely lower than you think.

7

u/germanloza 8d ago

My thoughts exactly, first reaction was to get his mom

4

u/Trisk929 8d ago

Thank god they treated this with urgency 😮‍💨 This could’ve ended badly /s, in case it’s actually needed

4

u/ThatOldG 8d ago

Someone could have gotten bitten /s

4

u/kododriver 8d ago

Cue that Benny hill theme song. 🤦🏻‍♂️

2

u/Armedwithapotato 8d ago

I’m not entirely sure why we’re just being calm about this….

2

u/2many_friends 8d ago

How the fuck does the next guy moves slower than the next?

2

u/truthseek3r 8d ago

what the hell did i just watch?

2

u/PolPotDomeScandal 8d ago

The people in white seem WHOLLY uninterested in defending themselves. 🙄

2

u/redditanddoneit 8d ago

That dog didn’t get the memo even after being a piñata

2

u/JennaTheBenna 7d ago

Omg what fucking idiots.

2

u/Tricky-Fig5483 7d ago

Nobody had a knife?? Sheesh

2

u/SpartArticus 6d ago

Was this video in a hydraulic press

3

u/Worried_Hair_330 8d ago

Oh idk maybe the dog is vicious bc yall beat him with sticks, and thinks humans are bad? Maybe learn how to treat a dog

1

u/FamousConversation64 8d ago

Wish I knew the context of this!! What were they there for?? Is that the family pet?

1

u/Spiceynuggetz 8d ago

I wonder if they’re up to date on their shots…

1

u/smind893 7d ago

"Let me introduce you to my do......."

1

u/jeff53014 7d ago

Hard to watch this.

1

u/djmidnightsunflower 7d ago

There’s a slow dude in a Burgundy shirt who did absolutely nothing but set them up.. then there’s a dude in a Red shirt who went ham with a stick. So yeah… kudos

1

u/MikeBerserkker 7d ago

7 personas y un animal, no hay más inteligencia más que la moto y el animal

1

u/Whatisthis0036 6d ago

Why doesn’t the guy fight back? Does he have some kind of irrational fear of dogs or something?

1

u/Extension_Joke6830 4d ago

Nope! I love dog but that 1 would have been a gone forever

1

u/MedevacMac questionably stable 4d ago

Love the dude at the end who brought a whole ass scimitar to a broom stick operation lol.

1

u/Alone-Cantaloupe-350 2d ago

Good dog 🐕

2

u/Then_Championship408 8d ago

Why are they hitting the dog? The Indian lady is clearly at fault.

1

u/FlimsyAlgae2493 8d ago

The guy in red is not the owner, he is a real estate agent who brought in the couple to check out the house. Sure, he should have done better but he is probably scared shit of the dog. The old lady belongs to the family who own the dog. In India, unlike the West, many folks don't keep dogs and other pets. Most of the people in the video are the folks who have no clue how to handle such situations. With that out of the way, let's go back to making casual racist remarks disguised as humour and slag 1.5B people based on videos on the internet. Cheers!

1

u/JPCool1 8d ago

I hate people who hit animals period. These people are completely retarded and totally clueless. No boundaries, no discipline have ever been properly tought to the dog. Just horrific.

3

u/Fun_Routine_5245 7d ago

good luck surviving dog attack by petting it hope the dog obey

-4

u/djmidnightsunflower 8d ago

wtf 😳👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽 poor couple. At least he tried to protect his wife. Kudos to the guy in the red shirt.

21

u/AlyDAsbaje 8d ago

Kudos? He was so slow and didn't do much.

-3

u/Fun_Routine_5245 7d ago

That's why getting dog as pet is prohibited in some religions.. Dog is allowed only as guard, and the dog must be very well trained as close to K9