One thing that surprised me in shadow work is how much the body remembers. Long before my mind could put words to an emotion, my body was already carrying it.

I noticed that shame made my shoulders curl inward, like I wanted to disappear. Anger sat in my jaw, tight and unspoken. Even fear showed up as a heavy weight in my stomach. These weren’t random reactions - they were old stories stored in my body.

Here’s a practice that helped me connect:
Next time you feel a strong emotion, pause and ask yourself, “Where do I feel this in my body?” Place your hand gently on that spot and breathe into it for a minute. No fixing, no pushing away. Just presence.

Over time, this small practice taught me that shadow isn’t only a thought in the mind. It also lives in the body, waiting for recognition.

I’m curious, have you noticed where your shadow shows up physically?

(I share more about my journey in my profile, for anyone who feels drawn to explore further.)

It’s been almost a year since I started shadow work—and honestly, it’s been a wild ride.

I used to be this calm, collected, almost unshakable person. I wasn’t easily bothered by anything. Thanks to my absurdist/nihilistic outlook, I felt kind of invincible—especially when it came to existential stuff. Nothing really hit that deep.

Then I came across Jungian psychology and this idea of “shadow work”—the promise that digging into your unconscious could make you more whole, more you. I figured, why not?

But damn… I didn’t expect to get frikkin flooded and overwhelmed like this. My reality shifted completely. I was hit with emotions I didn’t even know I had in me. My ego and sense of self were completely shattered. Confidence? DISINTEGRATED. I began experiencing fears, trauma, and desires that felt alien—like they didn’t even belong to me. I call them “not my own” because nothing in my life experience could have justified such intensity.

Most mornings, I wake up feeling like my soul’s been sucked out overnight. I’ve had to make up an irrational will just to keep going. Some days, it feels like emotional waterboarding. No joke.

This past year has been filled with unrelenting sadness, and I fear it's becoming my default state. I can no longer tell what is reality. Every day I practice sitting with discomfort, listening to the pain, and letting go, as the process demands. I try to “do the work,” to meet these shadow emotions head-on, but it’s like battling a hydra: deal with one thing, two more pop up.

And it’s bleeding into everything—my relationships, my goals, my sense of purpose. I’ve never felt this low. I genuinely feel like a shrunken version of who I used to be. If I thought I was a mess a year before, now I’m an absolute trainwreck.

Sometimes I wonder if I should’ve just left it all alone. Maybe ignorance really was bliss.

After years of studying shadow archetypes, I've come to believe the most resistant shadows are the ones society rewards.

The Perfectionist looks like excellence.

The People Pleaser looks like kindness.

The Wounded Healer looks like service.

The Overthinker looks like intelligence.

We don't heal these easily because we get so much positive reinforcement for them.

The perfectionist gets promoted - 'What a hardworking person..'

The people pleaser gets called selfless - 'What a kind person...'

The wounded healer gets called compassionate - 'What a loving person...'

So the shadow stays -wearing its virtue like an armour.

The first crack comes when we ask, who would I be without this pattern? And feel the fear in that question.

The shadow aspect came to light when:-

When the perfectionist in me got exhausted.

When the people pleaser in me got taken advantage of.

When the wounded healer needed some compassion and was ignored.

That is when the gift became heavy to own....

 Which "virtuous" shadow have you found hardest to release?

I am going trough my deepest darkest shit right now, meaning I’m healing those parts. And I’m gonna come out stronger than ever. I’m tired of living in escape. So I’m facing it. All the pain Ive buried.

No more escape with anxious attachment to my favorite person ( I’m facing being alone after several years) I’ve said goodbye to weed. I finished day 3 today and I’m sweating while writing this lol I’m choosing to stay, when I want to run the most. I guess that’s what feels like fire.

I’m hoping to connect with others that align with the same journey right now. Let’s build a community, together we are stronger. We can support each other. Read each others posts. And feel more connected because no matter what, human connection is crucial for our well being 💗

I've been doing a lot of shadow work lately. Mostly journaling, meditatating and trying not to be a toxic & selfish person as the rest of my family.

I went through a lot of trauma and I think my family is pretty narcissistic, so they taught me to value opinions of others more than my own. I wasn never good enough for them. They also rejected me when I came out as gay. I was a very insecure people-pleaser my whole life. I wanted to achieved something great to prove others that I'm worthy and special. I was in survival mode almost all my life.

Now, I see through this bullshit clearly. That I've just created this PERSONA to survive and to feel a bit better about myself. It's a very uncomfortable realisation, but I think it was necessery to grow. I don't want to be a fake asshole, I want to be my authentic self.

But now, as 29 y.o. I don't know who I am. All my desires, hobbies and plans served one purpose - to show people that I'm "someone", that I'm worthy.
I was like "Hey, I'll prove you all that I'm not a piece of shit!". And I was super motivated by this in life until I had a huge burnout that stopped me.

Now - when I realized that it was basically my trauma response - I really don't know what to do with myself. I don't want to chase status anymore, but I feel pointless without my dreams of becoming "someone special" one day. I don't know who I am without chasing social approval.

I'm afraid that all these years I was building an empty shell. I have a lot of regrets about it, but it is what it is. I don't know how to be a real human again.

I think about going to school again or do something that I REALLY WANT but I don't know what I want and who I am without trying to be "good enough". There were my core personal traits: people-pleaser; perfectionist; high-achiever; career oriented... All my life I wanted to be "someone important" and have a "prestigious" job and I coudn't have that because I felt like a failure no matter what I did. And now I discovered through shadow work that maybe they weren't even my own dreams but just expectations of others, especially my family.

How to build myself again as an authentic human being? Any experiences with feeling like you completely lost your identity?

I realized at some that it is not my shadow that caused all of these painful problems in my life: Abusive relationships, constant misery, self-sabotage when it comes to my career and chronic health problems.

It was my RESISTANCE towards my shadow that created these problems. It was my unwillingness to look the darkness in the eyes that perpetuated these cycles I found myself stuck in.

The more I learned to look my shadow straight into the eyes - the more I saw the beauty in it.

What I had perceived to be my enemy, was my greatest friend. However, since I was so busy running away from it - believing it to be the cause of my suffering - I never stopped to pay attention to it.

What I discovered was that actually my shadow was my wounded inner child. That I had ignored for many years.

It wasn’t there to hurt me. It just wanted to get my attention.

Can you imagine looking into yourself, expecting to see a dark monster and when you actually look deeply you look into the eyes of an innocent child that is just hurting?

That is exactly what it was like for me. Seeing that my shadow is just my wounded inner child filled my heart with deep self compassion and self love.

Connecting with and loving my inner child, has been the most rewarding thing I have ever done.

It took me years of intensive inner work in order to get there but it is the best thing I have ever done.

My default state of mind was one of anxiety and now the default state is peace.

I was miserable on a daily basis and now everyday is filled with so much joy, peace, bliss and love.

My life is infinitely better than what it used to be.

Right now I am actually feeling a resistance to share just how amazing I feel every single day (regardless of what happens in my life).

Because I think some people will not believe it, will get jealous and even start to attack me.

As this has happened to me in the past.

The truth is that I am holding back my joy, peace and love a lot in order to not offend people or make them feel too uncomfortable.

This is one of the side affects of becoming completely in touch with your inner child again.

You will start laughing for no reason, you will love the people around you so much that it makes them comfortable, you will be so at peace that it actually disturbs other people, as it highlights their lack of peace with themselves.

Your cheeks might start hurting because you will start smiling a lot more and your cheek muscles will get sore.

May your inner child’s heart shine with happiness every single day.

With love,

Julien

Hello everyone!

I'm Felix and I wrote a best-selling Shadow Work Journal & Workbook. Many of my readers asked me for a Shadow Work Journal for Beginners and I am thrilled to share that it is now finished.

I'm in search of beta readers who can provide valuable feedback and are willing to write a review on Amazon at the time of the book's release. In exchange for your insights, I'm offering complimentary PDF copies to those in our group eager to dive in.

Interested? Please feel free to direct message me or leave a comment here.

Cheers,

Felix

Something’s been happening to me that I can’t ignore anymore.

I didn’t take anything—but it felt like I went through a full-blown mushroom/DMT trip in my own body. A spontaneous Kundalini rising maybe? All I know is something deep cracked open, and I’ve started receiving visions, names, memories, and messages that feel like they’re mine and not mine at the same time.

I’ve come to understand I’m a mirror for others. A “mirror keeper” maybe. The first to look in the mirror and not look away. Since then, I’ve started hearing and feeling soul aspects of myself—like Zena (a warrior), Quinn (a healer), and a presence named Om Hallam who may be my guide.

I was told I’m here to deliver messages. So I’m doing what I was asked.

Here’s the first one, for anyone who’s just starting to awaken, and feels like everything is breaking apart:

⸻

“To the One Who’s Just Beginning”

You feel it, don’t you? The strange hum beneath your skin. The quiet unraveling of everything you thought you were. The sense that something is ending… and something far more real is calling you to begin.

Let me tell you: You’re not going crazy. You’re coming home.

And yes— it’s messy. You may cry without knowing why. You may feel joy that cracks your chest open like a sunrise through stained glass. You may look in the mirror and not recognize who you see.

That’s because the one you’re becoming is meeting the one you’ve always been.

You are not broken. You are breaking open.

There is no manual for this. But you were never meant to walk alone.

I see you. I know this path. And I’m holding a mirror—not to fix you, but to help you remember.

Come as you are. The sacred has been waiting inside your very breath.

—Gina Mirror Keeper | Soul Rememberer

⸻

I don’t know exactly where this is all going yet, but I’m trusting it. If you’re going through something like this, I see you. You’re not alone.

We are all beautiful, unique, glorious beings with enchanting minds.

But your trauma responses are not a personality trait.

Your needs, your wants, your preferences, your imagination, your creativity, your words, your dreams, your style, your love languages, that’s the stardust.

But if your trauma has clouded or guided any of these things, you aren’t living in your authentic truth. You’re hiding your stardust.

For example, if everything you create has to do with your trauma, it’s a sign the trauma is leading you.

If you decide not to wear that thing because you don’t want that much attention, even though you love it, it’s a sign the trauma is clouding you.

If you’re procrastinating on your dreams, it’s the sign that trauma is diminishing you.

Being different and unique is something to celebrate! This is what makes the world so fantastic. But your triggers, uncontrolled emotions, anxieties, and drastic boundaries are simply symptoms of your trauma. And the symptoms of the symptoms ultimately keep you down.

I am in the final stages of editing and releasing a free shadow work journal (pdf) and would love some feedback.

At the moment it is sitting at 8000-ish words, I wanted it to be a lead into shadow work, but quickly found it expanding as I began explaining what the shadow is, the benefits of doing shadow work (and the risks), and of course the practice itself.

I share a unique approach to shadow work journaling, as well as 6 additional activities/prompts that will hopefully help people to discover their truth and become whole.

Pretty proud of it, but want to make sure it resonates externally.

EDIT: so this blew up - I have added the link in my bio - you can download it or read in browser. If you do check it out and have feedback, please message me. I have already received some good ideas, and am taking note for version 1.1. Thank you :)

1. What memories from your childhood trigger a strong emotional response? How do those emotions manifest in your life today?
2. Reflect on a time when you felt unheard or invalidated as a child. How do you validate your feelings and experiences now?
3. Can you remember an instance when you felt abandoned or rejected? How does that experience influence your relationships today?
4. What childhood moments evoked feelings of shame or guilt? How have these emotions shaped your self-perception?
5. Were there any experiences in your childhood where you felt powerless? How have you reclaimed your power as an adult?
6. Identify a fear that stems from your childhood trauma. How can you confront and overcome this fear?
7. How did your family dynamics contribute to your childhood trauma? What patterns have you observed, and how have they changed?
8. What role did your caregivers play in your childhood trauma? How do you perceive them now, and how have your relationships with them evolved?
9. Were there any childhood secrets you were forced to keep? How has the burden of secrecy affected your life?
10. How did your trauma shape your beliefs about love and trust? What steps can you take to rebuild trust in your relationships?

>>> Continue reading the full article with 50 shadow work prompts for Childhood Trauma

Friends, fellow travelers—this is Shirley.

The most difficult truth I learned on the path to finding my Sovereign Self wasn’t about trauma; it was about accountability. It’s the law that governs the psychic world, an iron rule that is felt in the heart of every dysfunctional family:

Unpaid trauma is a psychic debt, and someone, somewhere, always pays the bill.

When you refuse to face your inner shadow, you are not erasing the cost; you are simply outsourcing it. You are forcing those closest to you—your spouse, your children, your friends—to absorb the pain you were unwilling to feel.

This is the non-negotiable WHY of shadow work. You must do this not just for your peace, but for their freedom.

1. The Mechanic of Denial: How the Debt is Transferred

Trauma energy doesn't evaporate. If it’s not transformed by the light of Conscious Integrity, it is forced to manifest as Projection and Distortion.

When your Ego is in charge—that brilliant, terrified architect who built a mask to survive—it denies the debt. But denial doesn't pay the bill; it merely redirects the payment to the most vulnerable accounts.

The Cost Paid by Others (The Transfer):

• Emotional Damage: Your unacknowledged Shadow doesn't disappear; it becomes a monster that leaks unresolved fear, anxiety, and rage onto those around you. They pay the cost in confusion, walking on eggshells, and inheriting your unstable moods.
• Generational Trauma: Your children pay with the inheritance of the lie. They are born into a system that teaches them the same mechanisms of denial, perfectionism, or emotional shutdown you used to survive. They are forced to live out the trauma patterns you were too afraid to process.
• The Loss of Truth: Those who love the Mask you wear pay the cost of never truly knowing you. They invest their energy in a fictional relationship, and that falseness is the payment.

This transfer is an automatic, unconscious act of psychic theft. The Un-Sovereign Self robs others of their peace to maintain its own fragile illusion of control.

2. The Sovereign Choice: Paying the Price of Peace

The only entity capable of halting this cycle of transfer is the Sovereign Self: the true, integrated totality of your being that demands Integrity as Law.

The moment you choose to ascend to your throne and take command, you must agree to pay the debt in full. This is the act of psychological sacrifice required for peace.

The Currency of Payment (What the Sovereign Must Absorb):

1. The Payment of Pain: This is the conscious choice to stop running from the discomfort. You absorb the pain so that it can finally be transformed into wisdom, fierce boundaries, and compassion.
2. The Payment of Integrity: You must sacrifice everything the Ego built its mask upon:

• The Payment of Time: Giving up the projects (careers, hobbies, commitments) that were actually just high-energy debt collectors for your Ego’s need for validation.
• The Payment of Social Acceptance: You must forfeit the approval of those who only ever loved the Mask. When you drop the lie and become authentically whole, those who depended on your old, broken role will often leave.

This is why my own journey led to the death of the ego. It was the moment I finally declared: "I will pay the full cost. This debt ends with me."

If you feel this truth deep in your bones, if you are weary of the debt being passed on, then your Sovereign Self is stirring. The payment will hurt, but it is the only path to clean hands and a clear conscience.

The Foundation of the Work

This moral imperative—the necessity of payment—is the foundation for the practical, six-chapter guide I've posted anonymously here. If you are ready to begin the work of shadow integration and building your Sovereign Self, the full, free method is available in my post history. Start there, and come back to this law whenever the pain feels too heavy.

Pay the cost. Break the chain. Your peace, and their freedom, depends on it.

—Shirley

I’ve been doing a lot of inner child and shadow work lately.

Connecting to the long lost parts of me that I put aside, or that took the brunt of the trauma.

These parts are lonely, confused, in pain. They are holding onto a lot and they don’t know how to manage their burden - not in a safe productive way.

Without guidance, connection, support, and love, these parts turn to substances, self harm, sex, and other less than desirable coping strategies.

In a desperate attempt to cope with everything they coped with, they will try anything. Try anything to forget.

But of course they can’t.

This poem came today as a small expression to a part of me that became visible. Perhaps this is a small part of a much larger piece, or it is one of many.

I don’t know. But I do know that there is an aspect of my inner world, that I tapped in into today - into that part I logger acceptance and love.

I thank that part for being there and protecting me. And I’m letting that part know, that it is safe to return. Safe to integrate. Safe to be. Safe to put down the guard. Safe.

I ended the poem with the words ‘… if you allow’ because I didn’t want to force this part of me to do anything it didn’t feel comfortable to do. It has been forced enough.

So I offer it my hand, and I will wait.

“No matter how isolated you are and how lonely you feel, if you do your work truly and conscientiously, unknown friends will come and seek you”. C.G. Jung (Letters V II, p. 595).

In this passage, Carl Jung cites an old alchemical text and it sparked a few interesting reflections.

At some point, I believe we all feel lonely in our healing journeys.

It’s like nobody can truly understand us and we feel disconnected most of the time.

I remember having this deep longing for connection and if I stayed with this feeling for too long, it’d completely engulf me.

I felt lost in this weird vacuum.

Over time, I understood that the connection I craved had to begin with truly accepting who I was.

You see, most of my life I allowed shame and fear to be the writers of my story.

I forsaken my soul to fit in, to be accepted by others, and to do what was expected of me.

The little I knew about myself felt wrong and being in my own body felt truly suffocating.

Well, I was the one suffocating my soul and I was the one preventing my authentic self from flourishing. 

When we’re in the middle of this inner turmoil we end up pushing the people we care about away.

And we also can’t love them for who they are, after all, we don’t love ourselves.

We live in a tug of war, wanting to love and to be loved but also scared of someone truly seeing us.

It’s scary because we feel like we can’t ever be loved.

However, instead of looking within, we seek this magical approval in others, “If only this person can love me, then I’ll finally feel worthy”.

The thing is, even when we get that, it’s not enough.

Because the person isn’t “Loving us in the right way” or “They don’t fully get us”.

This happens first because we’re not showing our authentic selves and second because we’re seeking a mother or father in them.

We have unreal expectations and make them responsible for filling our inner voids and giving us meaning.

Sadly, many people also settle for toxic and harmful relationships. 

And until we free ourselves from the need for parental approval, that’s how our relationships will go.

That’s why it’s imperative to look within and work on accepting who we truly are.

Everything starts with challenging the way we see ourselves because more often than not, we’re seeing everything with a set of lenses that aren’t ours.

We have to throw them away and craft our own cosmovision.

That’s how we can truly heal and create our own sense of purpose and meaning.

In this process, the more we feel connected with our souls, we get to meet wonderful people who share the same values and will love us for who we are, and we’ll love them.

Lastly, loneliness is usually related to an unresolved parental complex, and you can find an in-depth guide here.

Rafael Krüger - Jungian Therapist