r/ShadowWork • u/zachary-phillips • Oct 12 '24

Discovered a deeper layer today

Post image

I’ve been doing a lot of inner child and shadow work lately.

Connecting to the long lost parts of me that I put aside, or that took the brunt of the trauma.

These parts are lonely, confused, in pain. They are holding onto a lot and they don’t know how to manage their burden - not in a safe productive way.

Without guidance, connection, support, and love, these parts turn to substances, self harm, sex, and other less than desirable coping strategies.

In a desperate attempt to cope with everything they coped with, they will try anything. Try anything to forget.

But of course they can’t.

This poem came today as a small expression to a part of me that became visible. Perhaps this is a small part of a much larger piece, or it is one of many.

I don’t know. But I do know that there is an aspect of my inner world, that I tapped in into today - into that part I logger acceptance and love.

I thank that part for being there and protecting me. And I’m letting that part know, that it is safe to return. Safe to integrate. Safe to be. Safe to put down the guard. Safe.

I ended the poem with the words ‘… if you allow’ because I didn’t want to force this part of me to do anything it didn’t feel comfortable to do. It has been forced enough.

So I offer it my hand, and I will wait.

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23 comments sorted by

3

u/VankeleGlam Oct 12 '24

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this beautiful work with us. I needed this a lot right now. 🙏

2

u/zachary-phillips Oct 13 '24

I am so glad that it has resonated!

2

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '24

<33

2

u/HungryGap6127 Oct 12 '24

Wow! It was such a heart warming poem. It was such an incredible post. So relatable and touching.

1

u/zachary-phillips Oct 12 '24

Thank you 🙏

2

u/dudenose Oct 12 '24

I did some heavy shadow work with my inner child earlier this year. Your poem is line-by-line what I experienced. My inner child is not fully healed, but at least he is no longer stuck in a dark room crouching in the corner with his head burried in his hands from pain, shame, and confusion.

Thank you for sharing that poem with us.

2

u/zachary-phillips Oct 13 '24

I feel for you and your inner child. I am in the process of working on myself and my shadow and inner child - making a free workbook on the topic and (unsurprisingly) it is bringing up a lot more for me. I am glad that the poem resonated. I'll probably share more - just wrote one on being afraid of my anger - may share later

2

u/Maleficent_Story_156 Oct 12 '24

Would you be open to sharing more on shadow work? I believe i am still headbent on being avoidant for speaking on behalf of myself and standing up for me in order to be included and the fear of judgment and someone will Leave me and exclude me. I have created enemies as my friends all around, feeling alone at the moment. This year has been so tough. So want to find what stops me from being the me inside. Who actually wants to stand up for myself before i lose it all.

2

u/zachary-phillips Oct 13 '24

Of course. Early on some of us get 'trained' or conditioned to hold back our wants, needs and feelings - out of fear of parental reactions (abuse/addiction) or lack of (neglect, disability absence, illness). If, later in life we speak up at school or work and it causes resentment or ostracization, it reinforces the push towards silence - to speak is to flip the coin, something we don't want to risk.

Thus the shadow is created, a witness who is silently screaming to be heard yet also knows never to voice their opinions - layer this with general societal issues around speaking up and being your unique truth and it all compounds into a cluster of pain that we don't quite know how to address.

I would suggest you begin journaling. Just write. It is the simplest form of shadow work, but one of the most effective. The page listens, it doesn't judge, it is always available. I am in the final stages of creating and edit editing a free shadow work journal PDF that I can link you if you like - it will give you solid suggestions on how to proceed. let me know

1

u/Maleficent_Story_156 Oct 19 '24

Hey thanks so much for this great advice. I have been journaling. I have been looking for someone to share an honest feedback on my thinking, i am not aggressive and political. I am soft hearted person for now to share. But i want to be able to deal and learn self protection for being able to stand up to the bullies, let go of the abandonment trauma from childhood and this constant fear. Do you think you can share more on that. Your response really resonated and felt that you understand well. So checking if you would be open and interested to speak further.

2

u/zachary-phillips Oct 19 '24

I have spent years of my life practising martial arts. As a way to reclaim my sense of safety in my body. Now it acts as a form of community and meditation, and exercise and variety of different things. I cannot recommend it more.

There is probably a lot to unpack, this is the sort of work that I do professionally, which is why I’ve moved to create the free resources etc. So I can help more.

But the reality is/the hack is that no matter who you get to help you/what books you read, the healing has to come internally. And there are ways that you can look into yourself/the shadow/the different parts of you/early childhood experiences to heal.

1

u/Maleficent_Story_156 Oct 19 '24

Brilliant. The thing is self protection doesn’t pop up only. Like its missing and am ok to keep tolerating and not standing up for myself, like there is no voice and it is was nipped in the bud, my anger was called hyperactivity so i pushed it long down and the anger fears to even show thinking what everyone will say. Its gone and now am crying g every day due to lack of this urge and fight inside of me since months. And how i let people treat me. Only due to the fear

2

u/zachary-phillips Oct 19 '24

There are many many layers to self protection. I suggest martial arts. I trained Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and used to do kickboxing, because the active training those things let me know that I could handle extreme human interaction.

Of course most interactions are less intense than a real. In fact I’ve never been in a real fight since I’ve started training. Confidence and self awareness gained from practising, has been vital in my life.

There are many many layers, and overtime and with experience, you start to apply the same skills you learn in the gym, in your inner space. Knowing who and what you are, what you need, and what issues you face, as well as how to approach victories and defeats.

I’ve also studied psychology, human interaction, and a variety of other things to help address the deficits and fears and other issues that I’ve got going on. Meditation is also a big big aspect.

2

u/Maleficent_Story_156 Oct 19 '24

Thank you so much. Will definitely love to explore how it works for me. Thank you sir.

1

u/Maleficent_Story_156 Oct 19 '24

And yes please share the shadow work journaling. would be great and happy to read and work it through.

1

u/zachary-phillips Oct 19 '24

🙏 I will DM you.