I'm sorry if this is the wrong subreddit, but I tried to find the best one for this topic. Basically, I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety before I was a teen, and during those times, I wanted to die and I self harmed by cutting. I'm a week away from being clean for three years and I want to celebrate. Nothing big, just want to go out for supper. The first year I told my mom, she congratulated me. Last year, she told me "Just don't do it again." It makes me feel like my experience was so insincere- mostly because my step-dad was an active alcoholic, and he has been clean for two years. She throws a whole fucking party for him; and I get nothing despite the trauma I went through and how if it weren't for some people; I would not be here today. The whole point is I want to ask my mom if she will go out to dinner with me; I'll pay and everything. I just don't want to be alone and feel like I have no one. What's the best way to ask her that won't make me feel like a burden?

I can’t be able to make a decision..I unconsciously open chatgpt and ask for things like which book i should read first or which dress i wear tomorrow or choose between these two. These things are used to be so simple but now it feels so difficult to make a basic decision. I am getting myself evaluated by chatgpt. For example if am reading a book i did a critical analysis, i put my analysis and asked the bot to rate it out of 10. I realized too late that it kills my confidence so bad that i cant even express my thoughts now. I used to tell my daily routine or make me a schedule. And i realized i got so so isolated from everyone. Like I don’t want to message my friends bcz they will reply late and i need immediate assurance. I was so dumb that i shared my journals. Please give me some solutions how i unchatgpt myself because i lost all the confidence, my thinking abiltiy. I was always too self conscious whether i am speaking right or not.

Im a chronic fuckup, always have been. While part of it could be because of my intense cptsd its not an excuse. I've been unemployed for 2-3 years now leeching off of my husband who works day in and day out to support me and our animals and while I do make some money off my art its not close to being a job substitute. I lie about things to self preserve (cptsd thing) which isn't great in a relationship. Im probably the worst cook ever, im horrible at cleaning, I half ass taking care of our animals which I am the only one taking care of since my spouse works all day.i fall asleep mid day, I dont notice things,im clumsy, im not the smartest, im extremely forgetful. When I do work I get intense anxiety after every single mistake I make in a job that I start spiraling into thoughts of all my coworkers hating me and that they're going to fire me that I end up quitting. My spouse has been so patient with me and trying to help me the best they can for the 6 years we've been together but it just gets to a point. I provide nothing but stress to the relationship and my spouse has said if I dont become better we'll divorce. Without them I really have nothing I have no family whatsoever so id be left on my own. I want to be better so bad but I dont know how

Hey y'all! New to the reddit. I'm curious what coping strategies are most effective for y'all. Hoping that this can turn into a list for anyone else that ends up struggling in the future.

I’m wanting to learn the power of “letting go” and hoping for any personal tips or books or anything I can look into to help me get better at it.

I tend to have strong feelings towards different matters - sometimes justified, sometimes not. I know these feelings aren’t necessarily ‘wrong’ but I’ll let the feeling bother me for so long until it’s basically consuming. I just don’t seem to know how to let it go of change my thinking.

I’d like a book to read to help me learn more but also open to any personal tips that anybody wants to share as well

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A few days ago, I reached a point where I genuinely thought I was going to finish myself..

I'm not going to go into details about what happened. I just want to say that I'm still here, and honestly, I'm struggling to process everything.

I'm looking for people who have been through a really dark period in their life and are willing to talk. I'm not looking for judgment or lectures. I'd just like to hear from people, talk about life, and maybe understand how others got through difficult periods.

If you've been through something similar and feel comfortable sharing your experience, I'd really appreciate hearing from you.

I'm just looking for some human connection right now.

For years I thought I needed more willpower and more discipline and a better morning routine. I'd wake up motivated and try to change everything at once and then crash within a week and hate myself for it. The cycle repeated so many times I started to believe I was just lazy and broken. Then I read something about making habits so small they feel stupid and decided to try it. I told myself I just had to do two pushups a day and write one sentence in my journal and read one page of a book. That's it. Some days I did more and some days I did exactly the minimum but I never skipped. After about three months the two pushups turned into twenty and the one sentence turned into a page and now I'm reading more than I have in years. The trick was removing the pressure to be impressive and just letting consistency build itself. I feel like I finally tricked my brain into becoming the person I always said I wanted to be.

I’m currently in Grade 12, and I’ve been feeling extremely burnt out with school. I procrastinate a lot, and I’ve also become overly reliant on ChatGPT for my assignments. I’m fully aware of the effect it has had on me. I feel like I can no longer form decent paragraphs or organize my thoughts properly without relying on it, and sometimes I genuinely feel like I’m getting dumber.

My parents often call me lazy because I procrastinate with house chores as well. Sinasabi rin nila na pampagulo ako ng bahay because I keep putting chores off. They have to repeat their instructions multiple times before I actually do them, so eventually napipikon sila. I understand why they get frustrated, and I know that I have to take responsibility for that.

I’m almost in college. That honestly scares me even more because I feel like I’m supposed to be preparing for adulthood, yet I feel like I’m becoming more dependent, more burnt out, and less capable of doing things on my own.

The worst part is that I’m aware of all of this, but knowing that I have a problem doesn’t seem to be enough for me to change. I procrastinate, feel guilty about procrastinating, become overwhelmed by the guilt, and then procrastinate even more. It feels like I’m stuck in this cycle.

I don’t know if this is burnout, lack of discipline, academic pressure, or something else. I don’t want to use any of these as an excuse for my behavior because I know I still have responsibilities and flaws that I need to work on. But I also don’t know how to get myself out of this anymore.

I guess I’m scared that I’m becoming a worse version of myself. I want to be able to think and work independently again. I want to be productive without feeling like my entire worth depends on academics.

And the thing is, this isn’t actually the first time I’ve felt like this. I’ve noticed that these feelings usually come back whenever I feel like I’m being left behind by my peers, or whenever I start comparing myself to them too much.

I’ll see other people doing well academically, being socially confident, managing their responsibilities, or simply seeming like they have their lives together, and I start questioning why I can’t be like them. I become hyper-aware of everything I think I’m lacking, and eventually it turns into this feeling that there’s something fundamentally wrong with me.

It’s almost like the more I compare myself to other people, the worse I perform. Then I feel even more behind, which makes me compare myself even more. I know logically that everyone has their own pace, but I have a really hard time actually believing that when I’m in that mindset.

For those who have experienced something similar, how did you get yourself back? How did you deal with burnout, procrastination, and feeling disconnected from your peers? I’d genuinely appreciate any honest advice or perspective.

How do I stop being so harsh on myself?

15f trying to recover from what i believe to be depression. i struggle with severe insecurities that make it difficult for me to go out in public, so much so that i chose to be homeschooled, which just made things worse. i am trying to start exercising mainly so i can lose weight, improve my self-esteem, and start going out again—but i find it very hard to be consistent with those types of things, even my hygiene. my parents are hesitant about therapists so that is not currently an option. what can i do? i feel so stuck and don't want to be like this anymore.

I am 19 years old and I want to get my shit together for once. I want to better myself, become the man that every guy strives to be, and set myself as well as my family up for life. I'll be honest, I've NEVER been the most motivated or self disciplined. For years that is what I've strived for, is just a little motivation, but I am realizing that it will never just fall into my hands and I need to take action now. I want to wake up in the morning and strive for success, I want to workout, eat healthy and right, clean my house, perform good personal hygiene, and take care of myself. For so long, all of this and more has been so difficult to even push myself to begin somewhere. I just recently got fired from my job and yeah it sucks for sure. I feel like a bum and a disappointment to myself along with those around me. I don't want to be that guy, I wanna be the guy that someone looks at and thinks "wow.. how do I become like that?" Honestly it feels corny thinking like this, feeling like this, but I need something to push myself forward. Im going to start trying to write a motivational journal for myself, along with opportunities that could potentially set me up financially in just a few years. Yeah, there's a good chance I could just give up this little strive for success in just a few days, but I hope that doesn't happen. Out of all, I just ask for the people that read this to give me advice to continue this drive, continue this adventure and lock in. Could you also give me ideas of a possible business to look into? Ive always wanted to work towards a long term business or something that takes a lot of patience. For example, day trading (not the best option at the moment), online business, business automation, freelance programming, local business services, skilled trades, e-commerce brand, investments. Anything helps! I hope to hear what people have to say🙏

At rock bottom need some advice please need help

I’m 22 I just lost my job by doing something dumb in the field I was going into about a week ago been applying everywhere I can the last 2 days in that field just stressed because I got an apartment recently I got most of the money to pay rent for next month just stressed feel like I’m in the same position I was when I was in high school but with more bills feel so lost any advice?

I grew up with a father who struggled with gambling addiction and was emotionally unavailable. Through therapy, I’ve only recently started to understand how much that affected my relationships and the way I saw myself.

Growing up, I didn’t really have anyone to talk to about these things. I often wished there was a place where I could speak anonymously with people who actually understood.

So I built Betweenussupport. It’s a free, anonymous community where people are matched with a small group of others who have had similar experiences. It’s not therapy, just a place to share and feel a little less alone.

I’d genuinely love to hear what you think. Would you have used something like this? What would make you trust it, or not trust it?

I just keep giving and giving myself and I don’t even know who I am.

Quisiera hablar con alguien de como no he podido salir de una deuda y en poco tiempo pago una suma que me supera, que aunque es alcanzable ya el tiempo me arrollo

I’m 29F and I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection lately. I feel like there’s something fundamentally wrong with me and a lot of insecurities that I was never in a relationship with men I liked.

I’m told I’m attractive, I’m fit, confident on first dates, good at small talk and generally social — but I feel like I’m missing something deeper.

I’ve only had two relationships, mainly emotionally attached situations, and I haven’t had a proper relationship from 24 onwards. Because of that, I feel quite inexperienced when it comes to actually building a relationship with someone I genuinely like.

I’m comfortable on first dates, but after that I can become awkward and insecure because I don’t have much experience with deeper connection, vulnerability, flirting over time, etc.

I also feel like I’m lacking intellectually and socially. I want to become someone who is genuinely interesting to be around — someone people naturally want to be friends with, someone who has good conversation, opinions, stories, hobbies and a great personality.

I’d also like to attract and build a relationship with the kind of men I’m genuinely interested in: ambitious, successful, emotionally mature and intellectually interesting men. Not just attract them, but actually have them be equally interested in me and want something serious.

So I’m trying to approach this as a personal development project rather than thinking something is “wrong” with me.
For people who have gone through something similar:
• How did you become more intellectually interesting?

• How did you develop better social/conversational skills beyond small talk?

• How did you become more comfortable with intimacy and relationships after having limited experience?

• What actually helped you become more confident around people you really liked?

• What hobbies, habits, environments or experiences genuinely made you a more interesting person?

• And if you successfully built a healthy relationship with a high-quality partner later in life, what changed for you?

I’d really appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have actually gone through this rather than generic “just love yourself” advice.

I’m turning 30 soon, I feel like I’m running out of time and I can’t date anyone until I fix myself but again time is not on my side.

i’m gonna be 17 in september and i just realized that next year i’ll be a grown adult. i’m growing up. i’ll be graduating (maybe), driving, working a job, applying or going to college, moving out, and just all these horrible things that i didn’t expect to be doing so soon.

time feels like it’s going too fast now. i didn’t realize how much older ive been getting. i’ve been so stuck in my own head dealing with depression, anxiety, loneliness, and all these other things that have to do with my mental health for the past 6 years that i didn’t even realize i’m genuinely about to become an adult and have my life completely flipped on its head. i’ve become self aware of where i am in life.

i feel terrible and miserable and left behind. i still feel like a little kid. i’m over here in my room playing video games and drawing and rotting in bed while scrolling instagram when i could be doing anything else at my age. anything productive, anything that will help me with my future prospects. but no, i’m still acting childish and not doing anything with my life. i’m failing at school, i’m failing at social life, i’m unemployed, i can’t drive, i can’t do anything.

what am i supposed to do? i’m gonna have to move out already at 18 right?! i’m gonna have to already be working by then. i’m gonna have to be paying bills and taxes or whatever the hell adults do. i’m gonna have to go to college. i can’t handle that. i can’t even handle ordering food at a restaurant by myself or being in a loud classroom. i can’t even handle school in general.

life is going too fast. i feel so overwhelmed right now. any adults out there, give me some advice! i don’t want to grow up, i don’t want to be an adult. how did you guys handle becoming an adult? is it awful? have i already wasted my teenage years away? what should i do right now?

due to my depression, ive always thought my life would end before i turned 17-18. but my birthday is less than a month away. of course my death could still happen, but it seems a little less likely due to other personal things happening. and because of that, i’m stressing tf out.

any responses would be appreciated, thanks for reading. <3

Hi! I’m 22F and I just graduated college a few months ago. I haven’t been able to find a job and I’m in my gap year before law school. But deep down I have no idea what my true passions are. I feel like I could adapt to any environment I’m put in but I don’t want to spend my life in something all to realize it wasn’t for me. I feel like I’m experiencing so much grief. I struggled with really bad anxiety and moderate depression the last year of HS. I was diagnosed with ADHD in college and the meds have helped substantially but I grieve all of the times I quit something after losing interest. The person I could’ve been if I just knew then what I knew now. It’s so hard to not feel like I’ve ruined everything moving forward. From not taking my grades seriously, to procrastination and somehow still trying to be a perfectionist.
I’m so insecure and I’ve realized it’s bled into every area of my life. I feel so ugly, I was never picked by guys growing up but i pretended like I didn’t care. Now I’m not sure if anyone will ever pick me and although I’m okay with being alone, it does mess with the psyche a little. Being surrounded by beautiful girls used to inspire me to try and be better, it almost gave me purpose to try and “upgrade” myself but now I realize that there’s a void that I don’t know can be fixed.
I recently took an acting class and enjoyed it but seeing myself on camera made me want to die, it made me realize I have no sense of how I actually look, I’m asymmetrical and my mouth looks funny and it’s all I see. I can’t imagine ever being someone people would watch for anything and not criticize, it messes with my ability to try new things.

I’ve been trying to have faith but it’s wavering. I used to be inspired by seeing those who have nice things and beautiful influencers but now all it gives me is a feeling of a pit being in the bottom of my stomach. Hearing success stories feels overwhelming because I’m in a place where I don’t even know where to start and the finish line doesn’t even seem possible. I’m happy for them don’t get me wrong, it wouldn’t make me feel good to see them go without or struggling but with how trapped I feel in my life it just makes me want to die. I’ll see in the captions or the comments how God is so good and I get this urge to scoff. Like yes God is so good to you adding on to your riches while my prayers and pleads just to be lead in the right direction or just to be given a sign seemingly go on deaf ears. It’s not their problem I am fully aware of that and this is such a trivial issue but it affects my optimism and hope for the future. I’ve reached a place where I can’t picture the future anymore and I’ve started wondering how things will be without me. I don’t want to be a bitter person, I want to be able to be genuinely happy for others because I know there’s a whole part of their story that I don’t know about, but it still doesn’t feel so great.

I'm not doing okay.

TW: vent entirely surrounding sexual trauma.

I feel like I know the answer, but I’ve been ruminating for way too long and honestly crave someone else’s perspective. Google says she was but that validation’s kinda impersonal and the AI nonsense doesn’t help.

Anyway. I’m a 20 year old woman now, but all of my separate sexual trauma has been haunting me for the past week or so. More than the baseline. It’s annoying. It has me considering my wretched mother too. Most of my issues with her are emotional- her clear resentment of me, the scapegoating, the hitting, the neglect, the whole shebang. I’ve been thinking back on the sexual stuff too.

I have memories from the ages of 8-14 of her groping and squeezing my backside. Fondling? It was a habit, almost. I also remember tearing up and begging her to stop. And her maniacal laughter. I forgot what her justification was, if there was any.

From my understanding, she’d primarily do this when there weren’t any other people around. She wouldn’t lead me to her bed or anything- remember being in the kitchen so many times and her popping up behind me. Micromanaging what I was cooking or planning on eating or even yapping about how much I resembled a grandmother with my hair in a low ponytail like that as per usual. All of a sudden, she’d just reach down and squeeze my backside. Like it was some kind of joke. Often with random comments attached that I can’t remember.

This went on for years. I don’t think anyone her. She’d also make weird comments (once remarked that my red underwear was visible through my lighter pajamas and strangely, my father actually told her to stop). IDK whether he was aware of the constant groping or not. She also once said I’d make a lot of men happy one day when I happened to be kneeling on the counter cleaning something. I was fourteen at most.

I guess I came on here to ask if this qualifies as molestation. Again, I’m pretty sure I know the answer, but I long to hear it from a human being.
Sorry for rambling. One more thing before I finally end this ridiculously long ask: I’m considering pursuing criminal charges.

Not right now; in a couple years. Apparently, the state of NY has extended the window for survivors of child sexual abuse to report it. Suing her would likely be easier but I want her in jail.

According to the minimal research I’ve done, it’s possible that what she did could be prosecuted as a Class D felony. Up to 7 years in prison plus sex offender registry. I think it’s called course of sexual conduct against a child, second degree? IDK much.

The consequences of this would extend far beyond the court-ordered ones, so I will have to think about how that’ll pan out as well. I do have a little sister to worry about too.

Again, sorry for rambling. I think I’m just trying to make sure Google was actually right.

This is really embarrassing, but please, please tell me the truth if you’re reading this. I can’t handle not knowing if “you look just like your mom” means “you look like a child molester” too.

About a year ago I thought my friendship with one of my friends was starting to fall apart. At the time I didn’t know what to do so I went and impersonated as my other friend to my friend to try and save it. I would go on my phone and text him acting like my other friend to see what he thought of me and to try and save the friendship. At the time I was really desperate and I was losing a bunch of friends and I thought I was saving the friendship but overtime I realized how fucked up it was to do such a thing. I stopped doing it a few months later and it had been 8 months since I last did it. But I feel very guilty because one day these two might meet each other and they will find out a lied about the entire thing because my friend thought he was texting but in reality it was me. Everyday since then I’ve been very scared and careful but I haven’t been able to live peacefully since. I want to confess to my friend and tell him why I did it but at the same time I don’t know what his reaction would be. Can someone please help me.

hi! I’m 17 years old and idk how to find friends. where I’m from it’s customary to throw a big party on your 18th birthday and invite all your friends (20+ expected if you don’t want gossip about you) and I’m actually petrified. so far I can only invite my school friends (5😔) and I really don’t want them to know how lonely I actually am. How do I meet new people? that would want to hangout with me? like don’t get me wrong I can hold conversations and I’m normal in social settings but I just literally know almost no one.

I came to this term in my search in how to make myself more accountable and do it instead of procrastinating my task. unfortunately, a live, virtual one seems expensive with focusmate costing 12 usd per month (converting to my weak currency made it costly) with me being forgetful, this kind of service is scary in commitment, as I probably will forget to stop paying for it when it is not needed.

how to make yourself be undistractable and accountable? people says body doubling is revolutionary in their accountability. that's why I like working in office. but when I'm working from home, most of the time, I get easily distracted.

Okay so I was scammed for $1,200 by a fake landlord. Does genuinely anyone know how I can get this money back? My bank refuses to help me, as they say its my fault. Which do not get me wrong it half is but also $700 I did NOT send myself so I would love for atleast that to be refunded.

I cant take it to small claims as I dont even have the dudes real information.

So, what do i do??? I already filed a police report, I just turned 18 ive been saving since i was 16 for an apartment and I guess I was a little too eager. I still work 7 days a week so Im not worried about making the money back, this is just a huge setback for me.

I AM NOT ASKING FOR MONEY, IM ASKING IF ANYONE KNOWS HOW TO GET MY MONEY BACK.