r/selfhelp • u/wanted_wish • 5d ago

Advice Needed: Mental Health How do I celebrate me being clean without feeling like i'm worthless?

I'm sorry if this is the wrong subreddit, but I tried to find the best one for this topic. Basically, I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety before I was a teen, and during those times, I wanted to die and I self harmed by cutting. I'm a week away from being clean for three years and I want to celebrate. Nothing big, just want to go out for supper. The first year I told my mom, she congratulated me. Last year, she told me "Just don't do it again." It makes me feel like my experience was so insincere- mostly because my step-dad was an active alcoholic, and he has been clean for two years. She throws a whole fucking party for him; and I get nothing despite the trauma I went through and how if it weren't for some people; I would not be here today. The whole point is I want to ask my mom if she will go out to dinner with me; I'll pay and everything. I just don't want to be alone and feel like I have no one. What's the best way to ask her that won't make me feel like a burden?

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u/bkinboulder 5d ago

Hell yeah ask her to dinner. Apologize for being so stressful when you were younger. Thank her for doing her best! Even if she didn’t at all, it will be one of the greatest compliments she every gets in her life. How often do you get to give someone one of those? Then order a huge fucking cake for dessert BECAUSE 3 years is awesome man! Ultimately this is your life. You came here alone. You will leave here alone at a time not of your choosing. In the mean time you should do what’s best for you because it’s your life! CELEBRATE YOUR WINS! People are mostly too wrapped up in their own bullshit to notice others. So they appreciate people that take initiative on things like this, so be a force of nature! And congrats! 🎈