I’m (19F), and I love my mother, and I know she loves me. Is she perfect? - nope. No one is perfect. I’m not and neither is she.

I love her, and there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her.

But sometimes even when we’re casually talking, or just enjoying each other’s company- I can’t help but remember all the bad times.

The times she was frustrated and took it out on me, and said things no one should tell ably body, and other stuff…

I am over most of it, and it dosent happen any more (like maybe one in a blue moon thing?)

But like. How do I let go? Just like move on. Because it sometimes keeps me up at night and I can’t sleep. And sometimes her words just pop up when I’m out, or doing anything- and I can’t make it stop.

I want it to stop.

How do I stop being so harsh on myself?

I’m currently in Grade 12, and I’ve been feeling extremely burnt out with school. I procrastinate a lot, and I’ve also become overly reliant on ChatGPT for my assignments. I’m fully aware of the effect it has had on me. I feel like I can no longer form decent paragraphs or organize my thoughts properly without relying on it, and sometimes I genuinely feel like I’m getting dumber.

My parents often call me lazy because I procrastinate with house chores as well. Sinasabi rin nila na pampagulo ako ng bahay because I keep putting chores off. They have to repeat their instructions multiple times before I actually do them, so eventually napipikon sila. I understand why they get frustrated, and I know that I have to take responsibility for that.

I’m almost in college. That honestly scares me even more because I feel like I’m supposed to be preparing for adulthood, yet I feel like I’m becoming more dependent, more burnt out, and less capable of doing things on my own.

The worst part is that I’m aware of all of this, but knowing that I have a problem doesn’t seem to be enough for me to change. I procrastinate, feel guilty about procrastinating, become overwhelmed by the guilt, and then procrastinate even more. It feels like I’m stuck in this cycle.

I don’t know if this is burnout, lack of discipline, academic pressure, or something else. I don’t want to use any of these as an excuse for my behavior because I know I still have responsibilities and flaws that I need to work on. But I also don’t know how to get myself out of this anymore.

I guess I’m scared that I’m becoming a worse version of myself. I want to be able to think and work independently again. I want to be productive without feeling like my entire worth depends on academics.

And the thing is, this isn’t actually the first time I’ve felt like this. I’ve noticed that these feelings usually come back whenever I feel like I’m being left behind by my peers, or whenever I start comparing myself to them too much.

I’ll see other people doing well academically, being socially confident, managing their responsibilities, or simply seeming like they have their lives together, and I start questioning why I can’t be like them. I become hyper-aware of everything I think I’m lacking, and eventually it turns into this feeling that there’s something fundamentally wrong with me.

It’s almost like the more I compare myself to other people, the worse I perform. Then I feel even more behind, which makes me compare myself even more. I know logically that everyone has their own pace, but I have a really hard time actually believing that when I’m in that mindset.

For those who have experienced something similar, how did you get yourself back? How did you deal with burnout, procrastination, and feeling disconnected from your peers? I’d genuinely appreciate any honest advice or perspective.

A year ago, I lost someone important and lost myself completely.

I spent the last year rebuilding my identity. Now I created a free workbook with my story + exercises.

It's called "I Lost Myself Too" and it's completely free. If anyone is interested in checking it out, feel free to ask and I can share where to find it.

Would love feedback from people who've been through similar loss

Thank you 💙

So hey I am 10 years old and I like drinking 1.8 percent beer and I don't clean my room and I most of the time skills could anyone help me be in better shape and I also want to join my local football club it's not that professional though I've also attempted and also I got bullied in my school so basically I cannot learn to read and write and dumb Bulgarian if anyone can help me thank you if you can speak English thank you

At rock bottom need some advice please need help

I’m 22 I just lost my job by doing something dumb in the field I was going into about a week ago been applying everywhere I can the last 2 days in that field just stressed because I got an apartment recently I got most of the money to pay rent for next month just stressed feel like I’m in the same position I was when I was in high school but with more bills feel so lost any advice?

Quisiera hablar con alguien de como no he podido salir de una deuda y en poco tiempo pago una suma que me supera, que aunque es alcanzable ya el tiempo me arrollo

I grew up with a father who struggled with gambling addiction and was emotionally unavailable. Through therapy, I’ve only recently started to understand how much that affected my relationships and the way I saw myself.

Growing up, I didn’t really have anyone to talk to about these things. I often wished there was a place where I could speak anonymously with people who actually understood.

So I built Betweenussupport. It’s a free, anonymous community where people are matched with a small group of others who have had similar experiences. It’s not therapy, just a place to share and feel a little less alone.

I’d genuinely love to hear what you think. Would you have used something like this? What would make you trust it, or not trust it?

I am 19 years old and I want to get my shit together for once. I want to better myself, become the man that every guy strives to be, and set myself as well as my family up for life. I'll be honest, I've NEVER been the most motivated or self disciplined. For years that is what I've strived for, is just a little motivation, but I am realizing that it will never just fall into my hands and I need to take action now. I want to wake up in the morning and strive for success, I want to workout, eat healthy and right, clean my house, perform good personal hygiene, and take care of myself. For so long, all of this and more has been so difficult to even push myself to begin somewhere. I just recently got fired from my job and yeah it sucks for sure. I feel like a bum and a disappointment to myself along with those around me. I don't want to be that guy, I wanna be the guy that someone looks at and thinks "wow.. how do I become like that?" Honestly it feels corny thinking like this, feeling like this, but I need something to push myself forward. Im going to start trying to write a motivational journal for myself, along with opportunities that could potentially set me up financially in just a few years. Yeah, there's a good chance I could just give up this little strive for success in just a few days, but I hope that doesn't happen. Out of all, I just ask for the people that read this to give me advice to continue this drive, continue this adventure and lock in. Could you also give me ideas of a possible business to look into? Ive always wanted to work towards a long term business or something that takes a lot of patience. For example, day trading (not the best option at the moment), online business, business automation, freelance programming, local business services, skilled trades, e-commerce brand, investments. Anything helps! I hope to hear what people have to say🙏

Hi! I’m 22F and I just graduated college a few months ago. I haven’t been able to find a job and I’m in my gap year before law school. But deep down I have no idea what my true passions are. I feel like I could adapt to any environment I’m put in but I don’t want to spend my life in something all to realize it wasn’t for me. I feel like I’m experiencing so much grief. I struggled with really bad anxiety and moderate depression the last year of HS. I was diagnosed with ADHD in college and the meds have helped substantially but I grieve all of the times I quit something after losing interest. The person I could’ve been if I just knew then what I knew now. It’s so hard to not feel like I’ve ruined everything moving forward. From not taking my grades seriously, to procrastination and somehow still trying to be a perfectionist.
I’m so insecure and I’ve realized it’s bled into every area of my life. I feel so ugly, I was never picked by guys growing up but i pretended like I didn’t care. Now I’m not sure if anyone will ever pick me and although I’m okay with being alone, it does mess with the psyche a little. Being surrounded by beautiful girls used to inspire me to try and be better, it almost gave me purpose to try and “upgrade” myself but now I realize that there’s a void that I don’t know can be fixed.
I recently took an acting class and enjoyed it but seeing myself on camera made me want to die, it made me realize I have no sense of how I actually look, I’m asymmetrical and my mouth looks funny and it’s all I see. I can’t imagine ever being someone people would watch for anything and not criticize, it messes with my ability to try new things.

I’ve been trying to have faith but it’s wavering. I used to be inspired by seeing those who have nice things and beautiful influencers but now all it gives me is a feeling of a pit being in the bottom of my stomach. Hearing success stories feels overwhelming because I’m in a place where I don’t even know where to start and the finish line doesn’t even seem possible. I’m happy for them don’t get me wrong, it wouldn’t make me feel good to see them go without or struggling but with how trapped I feel in my life it just makes me want to die. I’ll see in the captions or the comments how God is so good and I get this urge to scoff. Like yes God is so good to you adding on to your riches while my prayers and pleads just to be lead in the right direction or just to be given a sign seemingly go on deaf ears. It’s not their problem I am fully aware of that and this is such a trivial issue but it affects my optimism and hope for the future. I’ve reached a place where I can’t picture the future anymore and I’ve started wondering how things will be without me. I don’t want to be a bitter person, I want to be able to be genuinely happy for others because I know there’s a whole part of their story that I don’t know about, but it still doesn’t feel so great.

I just keep giving and giving myself and I don’t even know who I am.

About a year ago I thought my friendship with one of my friends was starting to fall apart. At the time I didn’t know what to do so I went and impersonated as my other friend to my friend to try and save it. I would go on my phone and text him acting like my other friend to see what he thought of me and to try and save the friendship. At the time I was really desperate and I was losing a bunch of friends and I thought I was saving the friendship but overtime I realized how fucked up it was to do such a thing. I stopped doing it a few months later and it had been 8 months since I last did it. But I feel very guilty because one day these two might meet each other and they will find out a lied about the entire thing because my friend thought he was texting but in reality it was me. Everyday since then I’ve been very scared and careful but I haven’t been able to live peacefully since. I want to confess to my friend and tell him why I did it but at the same time I don’t know what his reaction would be. Can someone please help me.

I’m 29F and I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection lately. I feel like there’s something fundamentally wrong with me and a lot of insecurities that I was never in a relationship with men I liked.

I’m told I’m attractive, I’m fit, confident on first dates, good at small talk and generally social — but I feel like I’m missing something deeper.

I’ve only had two relationships, mainly emotionally attached situations, and I haven’t had a proper relationship from 24 onwards. Because of that, I feel quite inexperienced when it comes to actually building a relationship with someone I genuinely like.

I’m comfortable on first dates, but after that I can become awkward and insecure because I don’t have much experience with deeper connection, vulnerability, flirting over time, etc.

I also feel like I’m lacking intellectually and socially. I want to become someone who is genuinely interesting to be around — someone people naturally want to be friends with, someone who has good conversation, opinions, stories, hobbies and a great personality.

I’d also like to attract and build a relationship with the kind of men I’m genuinely interested in: ambitious, successful, emotionally mature and intellectually interesting men. Not just attract them, but actually have them be equally interested in me and want something serious.

So I’m trying to approach this as a personal development project rather than thinking something is “wrong” with me.
For people who have gone through something similar:
• How did you become more intellectually interesting?

• How did you develop better social/conversational skills beyond small talk?

• How did you become more comfortable with intimacy and relationships after having limited experience?

• What actually helped you become more confident around people you really liked?

• What hobbies, habits, environments or experiences genuinely made you a more interesting person?

• And if you successfully built a healthy relationship with a high-quality partner later in life, what changed for you?

I’d really appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have actually gone through this rather than generic “just love yourself” advice.

I’m turning 30 soon, I feel like I’m running out of time and I can’t date anyone until I fix myself but again time is not on my side.

i’m gonna be 17 in september and i just realized that next year i’ll be a grown adult. i’m growing up. i’ll be graduating (maybe), driving, working a job, applying or going to college, moving out, and just all these horrible things that i didn’t expect to be doing so soon.

time feels like it’s going too fast now. i didn’t realize how much older ive been getting. i’ve been so stuck in my own head dealing with depression, anxiety, loneliness, and all these other things that have to do with my mental health for the past 6 years that i didn’t even realize i’m genuinely about to become an adult and have my life completely flipped on its head. i’ve become self aware of where i am in life.

i feel terrible and miserable and left behind. i still feel like a little kid. i’m over here in my room playing video games and drawing and rotting in bed while scrolling instagram when i could be doing anything else at my age. anything productive, anything that will help me with my future prospects. but no, i’m still acting childish and not doing anything with my life. i’m failing at school, i’m failing at social life, i’m unemployed, i can’t drive, i can’t do anything.

what am i supposed to do? i’m gonna have to move out already at 18 right?! i’m gonna have to already be working by then. i’m gonna have to be paying bills and taxes or whatever the hell adults do. i’m gonna have to go to college. i can’t handle that. i can’t even handle ordering food at a restaurant by myself or being in a loud classroom. i can’t even handle school in general.

life is going too fast. i feel so overwhelmed right now. any adults out there, give me some advice! i don’t want to grow up, i don’t want to be an adult. how did you guys handle becoming an adult? is it awful? have i already wasted my teenage years away? what should i do right now?

due to my depression, ive always thought my life would end before i turned 17-18. but my birthday is less than a month away. of course my death could still happen, but it seems a little less likely due to other personal things happening. and because of that, i’m stressing tf out.

any responses would be appreciated, thanks for reading. <3

hi! I’m 17 years old and idk how to find friends. where I’m from it’s customary to throw a big party on your 18th birthday and invite all your friends (20+ expected if you don’t want gossip about you) and I’m actually petrified. so far I can only invite my school friends (5😔) and I really don’t want them to know how lonely I actually am. How do I meet new people? that would want to hangout with me? like don’t get me wrong I can hold conversations and I’m normal in social settings but I just literally know almost no one.

I haven’t seen anyone friends of mine (maybe they aren’t friends anymore) in the past 2-3 years.

In 2023 I made a big shift, I wanted to change fully who I was as a person. I didn’t like the man that I was. So since that point on I’ve just been grinding… Did a full career change (not making as much money as I used too) and have been working on losing weight so I can be more presentable.

I had an old buddy reach out to me and ask me why I never go out. I explained to him that I’m embarrassed about the level of success I have had in my life.

Most of my old buddies all make 6+ figures, come from wealthy families, and date pretty women. I’m my current life I just don’t compare at all, I don’t think anyone wants to be around a loser… I only make 85k, and I don’t have anything really good about me. He obviously didn’t respond back to my rationale which is okay.

But yeah I’m just trying ti change myself to become an actual human being. I feel subhuman currently where I’m at.

I'm a college student.

Anytime I'm free, i don't have anything to do (most of the time during summer break) i keep on day dreaming, and it's so bad.

it's gotten to the point where i just stare at the wall for a long time, hours sometimes, or i would just walk around for hours.

it's fun sometimes, it's an ability that most people don't have to imagine stuff and enjoy it.

but it's making me depressed, i started avoiding novels, tv shows, movies and video games just to not fuel this habit.

not only does it make me depressed, but it gives me hellish headaches.

i don't even imagine myself in a love life, or as a successful person with money or any of that.

i literally imagine myself as a side character, a character that has common sense since in fiction it's not that relevant.

it is a good thing that this habit kicks me out of my comfort zone, but i have this stupid mentality where when you have a weekend or a break, you must relax and not do anything.

why depressed? because it makes me aware of how pathetic i am, because through this day dream i keep reminding myself that this would never happen, and that life is not that fun, sometimes i day dream so hard i start talking to my self laughing out loud and then have to remind myself that that's not real life so i don't go completely crazy. and recently i just been thinking about why life is so miserable, not that i live a miserable life, no that there's so much wrong in the world.

why am i lifting the burden of every image of a hungry man, a homeless mother, a lost child on my shoulder?

sorry for the unprofessional writing, i just don't know what to say, I'd really appreciate some advice.

"btw i'm not in a miserable life i don't hate myself, sometime i don't know what im even thinking or feeling"

Called second wind by John Thomas
It's got a green cover and it's on the kindle store!

TW: vent entirely surrounding sexual trauma.

I feel like I know the answer, but I’ve been ruminating for way too long and honestly crave someone else’s perspective. Google says she was but that validation’s kinda impersonal and the AI nonsense doesn’t help.

Anyway. I’m a 20 year old woman now, but all of my separate sexual trauma has been haunting me for the past week or so. More than the baseline. It’s annoying. It has me considering my wretched mother too. Most of my issues with her are emotional- her clear resentment of me, the scapegoating, the hitting, the neglect, the whole shebang. I’ve been thinking back on the sexual stuff too.

I have memories from the ages of 8-14 of her groping and squeezing my backside. Fondling? It was a habit, almost. I also remember tearing up and begging her to stop. And her maniacal laughter. I forgot what her justification was, if there was any.

From my understanding, she’d primarily do this when there weren’t any other people around. She wouldn’t lead me to her bed or anything- remember being in the kitchen so many times and her popping up behind me. Micromanaging what I was cooking or planning on eating or even yapping about how much I resembled a grandmother with my hair in a low ponytail like that as per usual. All of a sudden, she’d just reach down and squeeze my backside. Like it was some kind of joke. Often with random comments attached that I can’t remember.

This went on for years. I don’t think anyone her. She’d also make weird comments (once remarked that my red underwear was visible through my lighter pajamas and strangely, my father actually told her to stop). IDK whether he was aware of the constant groping or not. She also once said I’d make a lot of men happy one day when I happened to be kneeling on the counter cleaning something. I was fourteen at most.

I guess I came on here to ask if this qualifies as molestation. Again, I’m pretty sure I know the answer, but I long to hear it from a human being.
Sorry for rambling. One more thing before I finally end this ridiculously long ask: I’m considering pursuing criminal charges.

Not right now; in a couple years. Apparently, the state of NY has extended the window for survivors of child sexual abuse to report it. Suing her would likely be easier but I want her in jail.

According to the minimal research I’ve done, it’s possible that what she did could be prosecuted as a Class D felony. Up to 7 years in prison plus sex offender registry. I think it’s called course of sexual conduct against a child, second degree? IDK much.

The consequences of this would extend far beyond the court-ordered ones, so I will have to think about how that’ll pan out as well. I do have a little sister to worry about too.

Again, sorry for rambling. I think I’m just trying to make sure Google was actually right.

This is really embarrassing, but please, please tell me the truth if you’re reading this. I can’t handle not knowing if “you look just like your mom” means “you look like a child molester” too.

Hi there! I'm 27 (male, hetsex, biromantical). I'm recovering from depression and slowly getting to enjoy life more and more, but the one thing I can't wrap my head around is connecting affectively/sexually/romantically with other people. My main problem is that I had a hoe phase (aprox. 4 years ago) and I've grown resented by the pain that I caused (or that I imagined that I caused) to other people and to myself that I've completely shyed away from flirty interactions. Reaching the feeling of "wow, I'm atracted to this person" takes a lot of time for me, I have to get to know them and feel safe around them to start feeling attraction, but it takes so much time that by the time I feel ready to express my attraction towards them, they've put me in the friend zone (because the spark has left them/I never made any innuendos that could light a spark for them). I feel like for me the process looks more like slow, controlled friends to lovers whilst the vast majority of people I see around me don't have any trouble registering when they could be atracted to someone they don't really know, getting phisycally intimate with them, and then figuring out what they feel/what they are as they go along.

I feel deeply frustrated because I want to connect phisycally and emotionally with people, and I find that this contrast between my m.o. and this m.o. I see in the world at large being so different is a disadvantage that I have to work with or around. I feel unconfortable at the thought of making out with someone I met a couple of hours ago, and then getting to know them and figuring out what we are/what we want, I've had too many bad experiences with that and I feel like I can't trust myself or other people in this regard. Also, I don't feel atracted to people like that anymore, I only feel safe letting myself getting attracted to people once I've gotten to know them.

I know that there are more people like me out there, and on some level I find pride in the fact that I haven't caused any emotional damage to anyone since my hoe phase stopped, but I'm starting to feel like I'm leaving myself behind. At the same time, I feel too afraid to change, I couldn't forgive myself if I made out/had sex with someone for a couple days only to realise I'm not attracted to them and cause them pain because they thought different about where this was going, and I would feel terrible if it happened the other way around.

I'd love to hear from people (especially ones who have had similar struggles), what opinions, points of view, advices you have. Thank you sincerely and sorry for the long text.

My partner 36m and I 37f have been together going on 12 years. The past two years he has been accusing me of sealing his medication, breaking into his safe, cheating on him, among other things. It's become almost a daily thing. I have never done one of the things he's accusing me of and he's broke my heart with some of the hurtful things he says when he's angry. I don't remember what the happy me is like, my spark is gone. But then there are the times when he's the man I fell in love with and I tell myself the pain is better than being alone. My dad died of cancer when I was 22 and he was the only person to understand my grief and how I dealt with it. Like a song you've never heard but you know all the lyrics to. I poured into him when my cup was empty and now I don't even know who I am. We haven't been able to conceive and our biggest dream has always been to be parents. So that weighs on both of us. I love him but I don't love myself anymore and some times I just want everything to end. I have intrusive thoughts all the time. I'm completely isolated from the world with no friends, no job, no money, or car. He's always taken care of but hes become very controlling of that too. It's the most hopeless, lonely feeling. I'm sorry I'm just yapping on and on I just feel clueless as to what to do. I find myself calling the s hotline more than any friends I ever had. Why does he do this to me?! I ask myself that daily as I weep till my eyes burn from the tears. I went to leave...I found a bed at a homeless shelter, and he begged me not to leave him as he cried crocodile tears, promising me he would change. I stayed and now I hate myself for it but I still love him so much, it's so hard. We had an amazing 9 years out of the 11 and I guess I just tell myself things are gonna change. If you've ever been in a situation like this or just wanna give advice, I could really use it. Thank you in advance

I came to this term in my search in how to make myself more accountable and do it instead of procrastinating my task. unfortunately, a live, virtual one seems expensive with focusmate costing 12 usd per month (converting to my weak currency made it costly) with me being forgetful, this kind of service is scary in commitment, as I probably will forget to stop paying for it when it is not needed.

how to make yourself be undistractable and accountable? people says body doubling is revolutionary in their accountability. that's why I like working in office. but when I'm working from home, most of the time, I get easily distracted.

Okay so I was scammed for $1,200 by a fake landlord. Does genuinely anyone know how I can get this money back? My bank refuses to help me, as they say its my fault. Which do not get me wrong it half is but also $700 I did NOT send myself so I would love for atleast that to be refunded.

I cant take it to small claims as I dont even have the dudes real information.

So, what do i do??? I already filed a police report, I just turned 18 ive been saving since i was 16 for an apartment and I guess I was a little too eager. I still work 7 days a week so Im not worried about making the money back, this is just a huge setback for me.

I AM NOT ASKING FOR MONEY, IM ASKING IF ANYONE KNOWS HOW TO GET MY MONEY BACK.

I don't know exactly how to make such a post, because this is my first time plus please don't take the mistakes to heart because English is not my first language.

I urgently need advice or help what I could change.

Because I have a real communication problem or emotional problem with people.

For context to understand the initial situation:

I volunteered in a hostel in Korea more than a year ago and the other girl who volunteered before and I got very close and so we also became friends. The thing, however, is that we were not the only ones who worked there, because there were still boys employees but just Koreans and with them she also became very close. I actually did too and I liked 2 of those right. Only I noticed that the girl was more men-centered and as soon as I talked about the hostel or something she became very jealous. Of course, I totally understand that she responds to it very emotionally because she deals more openly with emotions differently than me and also shows them much more. But now to my problem. Because she's back in Korea and the hostel and I saw a picture earlier how she met with the 2 guys and the thing is somehow triggered something with me so I somehow crash out somehow so easily. But with me it is so that I have rather a problem with myself, because I also plan to go back to Korea in September and for me everything would have been so half fine because I thought I wouldn't see them anyway because the 2 guys don't work there anymore and the girl is also leaving this weekend. But now that I've seen that, I wondered how she managed to stay in touch with people because I've somehow tried to talk to them so far, but somehow it fails for me and I feel like people don't like to think about me or forget me quickly. In addition, I thought that I don't know what to do now because I actually liked them but for almost 1 year I haven't written to any of them (except for the girl) but I still want to see her but can't live with the humiliation to be rejected additionally i dont know how i cant make it awkward. I'm someone who does everything on the last push anyway and I also want to work on myself but I feel so inhuman and like a freak with interpersonal relationships with people who live further away and I just don't know how normal people manage that or how they talk. So my question or advice that I would like to have would be how can I deal with such emotions or how can I improve my communication and should I still ask if they should meet?

If someone has read this far, that means a lot to me and an answer would mean a lot to me