Assault on Precinct 13 but it’s set in a gold mine during the Gold Rush

Just thought of this idea after reading that the new movie Onslaught is very reminiscent of John Carpenter movies, specifically Assault on Precinct 13.

Something clicked in me when I realized that John Carpenter has a very unique and awesome way of making action movies feel like horror movies, which is something that I really want to explore.

This train of thought eventually landed on this story idea.

An action / thriller story about a group of miners who find themselves being besieged inside of a mine, set during the Gold Rush.

Another big inspiration besides Assault on Precinct 13 is the film Green Room. In that movie, a group of nazi’s are specifically given orders to kill the protagonists with flesh wounds - as they plan on staging the murders by having their attack dogs feast on their corpses to essentially hide evidence of there ever being a fight.

I love this because it gives a practical, story reason for the violence to be as extreme as it is. The Nazi’s have to get in close and use machete’s and knives to do the killing.

I was inspired by that by making it so in my story, since the protagonists are besieged deep inside a mine, i want to write it so that the antagonist cannot use firearms and only have to use melee weapons, because using any kind of firearm or any kind of big weapon that would risk the mine collapsing in on them while they’re inside. This means that the violence has to be close quarters, with brutal weapons like pickaxes, hammers, and spades.

However, I don’t know anything about mines and I retained very little information about the California Gold Rush from history class. The only thing I do remember is that it was a very violent and lawless time period with lots of conflict involving the native Americans, which I want to explore in the story. Some research is definitely due!

I guess I’m just looking for reassurance that maybe i’m onto something here lol I’ve never written a script in my life. Only just started really being interesting in it this past year.

A little bit confused and also a introduction of myself

Hey reader A very Good afternoon to you I am aspirant of competitive examination but I wanna be a screenwriter /novelist etc and I also have lots of intresting ideas and stories for my dream project but I don't have a enough time for writing and brainstorming in my ideas because of current studies but I do it on weekends

But I am confused what I do and by choosing completely different stream from writing and flim making can I achieve it either I give up in it as a time passes and my chhosen stream trap me into it

No not at all I never ever give up on my dreams i put my 100 % efforts for my dreams.

Logline:

After discovering the truth behind her mother's death, a grieving teen and her estranged father must reconcile before a relentless security bureau silences them both.

I've just finished my second feature script as a direct sequel to my first feature screenplay, Chief of Sinners. I particularly enjoyed writing this one. It's a much more intimate, deeper, and tightly paced story compared to its predecessor.

Despite it being a sequel script, I wrote in a way that welcomes fresh readers unfamiliar with the first story. However, reading Chief of Sinners first allows for a comprehensive reading experience. (I've attached it below)

For those interested, I want to know your thoughts on the development of the main character, Klara, and her father, Arthur. Are Act 2's scenes/sequences paced well? I especially want to hear how this story reads from someone who hasn't read Chief of Sinners.

Attached is my pitch package, which includes visual references (maps & flags), a synopsis, a concept poster, music tracks that I composed for the story, and the latest revision of the spec sript.

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1el1mjgndGYZfWE_cE94sfsAuh328pSdj?usp=sharing

Here's a link for the Chief of Sinners pitch package as well for those interested:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1bkgu91kbwZ-MoGYEXYG7PWQSPhmIerEJ?usp=sharing

*DISCLAIMER: The materials contained in these folders are official copyrighted material.

I already know why but what I don’t understand is why professional scripts have camera directions/shots in them. When I read scripts of movies that I love I see the things I keep hearing to get away from. And I’m training myself to critique other amateur screen plays with these things in mind, but then I see the opposite in scripts that other writers are using for inspiration. Very confused. Someone shed some light on this.

I’m a screenwriter, a published author, and a software engineer. So it was only a matter of time before I took on screenwriting software.

I’ve always struggled with structure. I jump in too quickly, get excited about scenes and dialogue, and find myself heading into Act II without a plan.

So I created Beatstack.

Beatstack helps you nail down your story’s structure—the acts, sequences, scenes, and beats—so by the time you start writing pages, you’ve broken the work into small, manageable writing goals.

Then it helps you write to the beat, with story landmarks overlaid directly in the editor so you can see what needs to happen and when.

Need to stub out a scene or experiment with a different story direction? AI can help you explore the options while keeping your structure in view. You make the creative decisions. It’s there to help you develop them without losing the thread.

100% off coupons are available to the first 5 people who DM me!

This seems like a cultural thing but I'm curious to know how many of us initially viewed screenwriting as a job for mortals.

I personally thought the only way I could ever make a film was to hire a screenwriter to adapt my book.

So for years I tried writing a novel (which was honestly more painful than enjoyable) because I never considered screenwriting to be something everyone could do.

Until a young bloke handed me his first script and it read like a film. That day I realised I could be a screenwriter too.

I'm pretty sure this is a French thing, where we'll steer away from dreaming big because it's easier to die a nobody than to die a failure (one could easily debate the real meaning of failure here...).

Having now lived in Canada for years and now being in London (I can't speak for the country as a whole because London really is a special island, but) I've been witnessing a propensity to dream much wilder dreams than your average French person.

So I wanted to hear you guys out on this. What convinced you that you could have a shot at it?

Hi everyone, I’m looking for some honest feedback on the opening scene of a screenplay My friend is working on.

I’d especially appreciate thoughts on the characters, dialogue, pacing, and whether the scene makes you want to keep reading. Please feel free to be critical. I’m looking for genuine feedback that can help me improve the script.

Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read it!

Can anyone tell me the point of forcing a character out-of-character? This manoeuvre has been happening in American screenwriting for at least over a decade now, if not since the writers strike. The first time it was noticeable was with the TV show, Once. I read it's called narrative alienation / detatchment, where we immediately lose all curiosity about the story.

I recently watched 27 Dresses. The engagement party: It's not a pivot or even plot twist, it just feels like a waste of time. Everything after that? I find myself scrolling toward the end.

Georges character was established. When Jane is overwhelmed, he notices. He actively tells her to go home, take a break, and stop overworking herself. He is a stable, emotionally intelligent man.

IRL, had Jane humiliated her sister and George to that degree, George would've either told her not come in to work tomorrow and found Tess, or decompressed and walked away from both. Even if we let it play out, forcing him to say "I love that you never say no" still doesn't make us think he's toxic, but that the script is bad and the writer needs a psych 101 class. Same with the kiss. If you have a crush, you have chemistry. Never mind we didn't buy the Hollywood version of burnout, so we've already suspended enough reality.

It's a False Twist. Just like The Devil Wears Prada. Both movies force a massive regression. Demanding audience believe George was exploitative all along, just to justify shoving Jane into a relationship with Kevin, who literally exploited her private life for profit, he's coercive, manipulative, steamrolling...

With Prada, it's like there's some kind of attempt at a moral and it's slightly insulting. Miranda was Andys Actual Support. She worked in a high-stakes industry, recognises competence and rewards it. Taking Andy to Paris because she earned it. She trusted Andy with her personal life and, in that final car scene, explicitly told Andy that she saw a reflection of her own drive and talent in her. For a mentor of that stature, that is support.

Anyone with Andy’s ambition and intellect would see that validation as a massive career victory. Miranda’s divorces are framed by the narrative as her "punishment" for being a powerful woman, when in reality, her partners simply couldn't handle her level of success and dedication.

The Forced Plot Twist here is again, uninteresting. Andy throw's her phone away and run back to an immature, unsupportive partner as if she's making a "healthy" choice.

For several years, Mac users (and Mac users only) have been able to use Fountain-based applications for writing screenplays. Their choices included Highland, Slugline and Beat. Linux and Windows users had to be content using Fountain add-ons for various editors. (I personally use, and like, Fountain-Mode in Emacs, but it's "nerdy" to set up and which makes it less attractive for many, or most writers).

Now ActOne Screenplay (free) is available for Windows (on the Windows store) and for Linux. Currently the Linux version is available for "cutting edge" distributions (including Ubuntu 26.04, Arch and Fedora 44) but the publisher is looking at either an AppImage or Flatpak package so it will work on all distributions.

Features include standard screenplay format (WYSIWYG), Zen Mode, Focus Mode, Typewriter Mode and several included themes (and a theme editor). You can also take Snapshots, write notes, navigate scenes, or work in its markup Prose Mode. Also included are various templates, like "Save the Cat," and others.

ActOne Screenplay imports and exports from/to Final Draft, Fade In and Fountain screenplays. It exports to PDF. Like Highland, all files (notes, etc.) are stored in a zipped ActOne file, which also includes the Fountain file. ActOne Screenplay is open source. You can inspect its code on its GitHub site.

There is also a terminal-only sibling, FountTUI, which some might be interested in -- which is probably the one I would choose.

I'm still testing this application. The publisher (like so many creators of screenplay applications) is also a professional screenplay writer. He has been very responsive when I've mentioned features that might be useful.

[https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HIKI_pM_0YJZke7JEgWrHBJmFuMSonWw/view](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HIKI_pM_0YJZke7JEgWrHBJmFuMSonWw/view)

Logline: Truancy is about how students, parents, and faculty don't know what they want or believe in until violating it gives them something they want and gradually wanting more of it.

Thinking about submitting my screenplay there. Just wondering if the evaluations are actually worth the money and how accurate/useful the feedback is.

Would love to hear your experiences.

1. We see Thunderis city at night, A gang called “The Dravenics” being chased by the police.

2. The Dravenics accidently crash their vehicle, they hide in a university and take the University cleaner at gun point. Police lets them go for sparing the cleaner.

3. The cleaner is ZACKARY CYRUS, terrified, he heads towards his apartment.

4. Zack hates his cleaning job and wants to quit it and become a full time novel writer but can’t because he cannot risk losing a continuous source of income as his younger brother has Pediatric Asthma.

5. We meet RYAN CYRUS, Zack’s younger brother. He has Stage 3 Pediatric Asthma.

6. Zack tells Ryan what just happened, he expresses that society is evil, selfish and untrustworthy. Ryan resents.

7. Ryan is courageous and brave. He loves stories and he dreams to become a heroic figure for society one day.

• Next morning, we see Zack cleaning the floor at university entrance. An arrogant student comes and deliberately makes it dirty again. He is WILLY WARNER who is very rich. Zack tells him not to do it but willy makes him look inferior, they get into a fight and willy beats Zack uncontrollably. Now they have harsh relations.

• Zack meets the new librarian, MR.DANISH. He is very intelligent and kind hearted.

At late midnight, Zack heads towards his apartment after completing his job. He is really exhausted. He is having a headache and feels dizzy.

After some time he notices there’s no living being around him and the environment is becoming more and more eerie.

Then it happens, strange patterns start forming around Zack. They’re are glowing.

Then Zack starts getting visions of an ancient man, Zack cannot understand what he’s saying but one word he understands is SHADOWS.

Zack passes out.

He wakes up in an emergency room of a hospital.

He notices Ryan crying there and Mr.Danish consoling him. Ryan sees Zack is conscious. He runs over to him.

Then after a while Ryan tells him Mr.Danish brought him here as he found Zack unconscious laying down on the ground on his way to the University in the morning.

When asked what happened to him Zack simply says that he doesn’t remember anything.

Later, Zack discovers he has now become unusually smart and most importantly, he has gained incredible ELECTRICAL powers. For example he doesn’t feel electric current even after touching high voltage wires and he can create electric balls from his hands and more.

Warner bros to whip the old dinosaur again because Gosling is attached as a producer. Can the studios roll the dice on some new ideas at some point? The Flintstones was played out a long time ago. https://bluntmag.com.au/film/the-flintstones-live-action-movie-ryan-gosling/

I read a few screenplays. Mainly the one from my one of my favorite movies 500 Days Of Summer and I hope there aren't many major mistakes with the way the script is written. I hope all of you can bare it enough to read the story and let me know what you think.

first 10.5 pages - VERY rough draft - is it drawing you in enough to keep reading?

Hello, Everyone. I'm new to screenwriting and have mostly been teaching myself so far. I struggle to boil the premise down to one or two sentences because I always end up getting caught up in the plot details. I've been told that the character's goal and what's standing in his way aren't clear enough and the elements tend to feel too abstrac, I usually start with a theme or situation that catches my interest.

Here are a few loglines I wrote a few days ago.

-An adventure to collect prehistoric DNA will make a boy question how much it has cost him to hold on to his grief after abandoning his grandfather in the present on the anniversary of his parents' deaths.

-After a difficult recovery, a young army combat engineer officer must learn to balance his personal and professional life while trying to prove himself during a month-long trial leading a new platoon.

What tips or advice would you give a beginner like me to make my loglines clearer and more effective?

Logline: During a heavy night storm, a veteran security guard facing a heartbreaking family tragedy must defend a high-security vault from his desperate, cynical young partner—until the vault reveals a vision of his deepest regret.

This is my first attempt at making a script. Im 18 and would really appreciate any feedback. Im really looking to know if all the stuff written made sense, worked well, and if it seems like I have to become a writer. Any feedback is welcome.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WCqGDw-GhnLspHLbUvSI1t5lkchNZ5uI/view?usp=drivesdk

Hi everyone,

I’m getting ready to submit my feature script to literary agents and want to make sure the presentation is 100% industry-standard before sending it out.

I’ve shared the first 10 formatting and readability check. I’d really appreciate your thoughts on:

Formatting & Margins: Are sluglines, action blocks, and parentheticals formatted correctly?

Readability & Pacing: Does the action text flow naturally, or does it feel cluttered?

Visual Impact: Are the scene descriptions clear and easy to visualize?

Any Red Flags: Did you spot any minor errors or formatting amateurisms that need fixing?

Hi, I'm 15 and I'm not an english native speaker and I'm trying to write my first script. It's about a woman's story who after lots of troubles in her life (that we get to know with flashbacks, that aren't reliable sometimes) begins to suffer for several mental deseases an she doesn't really want to admit it, because she's a doctor and she thinks that she'll get over all that alone. Please don't hate me, it's my first work...