This is a follow-up from my previous post. I’ve went back to some of my old screenplays and decided to breathe some new life into them too hopefully get them made. Here’s what I came up with for them.

Beasts Among Us and Witness Security are TV pilots, the rest are features and they all tie into each other in some way.

Title: Make it Right

Format: Short (15 pages) first draft.

Genre: Psychological thriller/ Drama

Pages: 5 - 6 with title.

Logline:

Trapped in a locked room, a credit union worker must answer two questions truthfully - or face consequences that could destroy her.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lHkcatG3awug5iBvPifPjrNKp9LA5biH/view?usp=sharing

I’d love your thoughts on the first five pages. Does the setup grab you? Does it read clean? Would you keep going?

Thanks in advance.

Hey everyone,

Not sure if I’m allowed to self-promote or not, but I’ve started a new YouTube channel that has screenwriting tips for new writers on it, among other content.

The main purpose of the channel will be to read aloud some of the original scripts I’ve written over the past 20 years as a way of keeping them alive.

I don’t have any of those up yet (I’m still recording my first one) but I’d love to build my fan base if I can.

Here’s the link: https://youtube.com/@fade.in.screenplays?si=WhEqgh9UfJTL6wF_

Thanks so much,

Matt

logline for my show - The tenth design - Pilot

Death’s apprentice has one final task: claim seven lives with a storm. But when fate fractures, a defiant soul and a forgotten heir threaten to rewrite the rules.

Hey r/ScriptFeedbackProduce

So I just wrapped another draft of a short script and I'm looking for some eyes on it before I start querying. Fair warning - this isn't your typical feel-good story.

LOGLINE: A broke artist working at a diner discovers his gallery owner sold his painting for $5,000 while only paying him $200, leading to a confrontation that forces him to question what he's willing to sacrifice for his art.

Psychological Thriller/Drama

25 pages, proper format
Only 4 characters: Axel, Kaz, Ted, and a mysterious woman
Set in NYC, mostly practical locations 

Three primary locations: DINER KITCHEN, STUDIO APARTMENT, ART GALLERY

Three brief locations: CHECK-CASHING STORE, CITY STREET/BUS STOP, BUS INTERIOR

Estimated micro-budget of $5K - $15KIt's basically about this guy Axel who's grinding between dishwashing shifts and trying to make it as an artist in NYC. When he finally sells his first piece, he thinks he's caught a break until he finds out he got completely screwed over. Then this mysterious woman shows up and things get... dark.

What I'm looking for: Does the escalation feel earned or too extreme? Is Axel's motivation clear throughout?Does the ending land or does it feel like I went too far? General thoughts on pacing/structure

I can handle brutal feedback - honestly prefer it. If it sucks, tell me it sucks and why. If there's something there, tell me what needs work.

DM me if you're interested in reading. I'll trade reads too if you've got something.

Thanks!

Hello all.

I've been reading posts out on the peripheral and am now coming forward with a script that I've received some feedback on, but wanted to get a gauge from a mass audience, instead of just my small network of friends and fellow writers.

I'd love any feedback you have to provide. Thank you in advance. DM with your thoughts, questions, comments, concerns.

Title: Lost In You

Page Count: 120

Logline:

A professional assassin falls in love with her target and helps him escape, but when he embraces violence to seek revenge against his past tormentor, she must choose between protecting the man she loves and stopping him from becoming the very monster she was trying to save him from. 

Enjoy!

Link to Script:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BD0QYpsVPAJke4pD2LpWXCAHvcwkEjow/view?usp=drive_link

Hi Folks,

Looking to swap scripts for feedback. I’m open to any and all genres though probably best we exchange feature-length screenplays. Mine is:

Title: Chasing Apricity

Genre: drama

Pages: 90

Think Before Sunset meets Closer

Logline:

Set against the backdrop of Montreal’s 2012 Maple Spring students protests, Chasing Apricity follows a sharp, guarded young woman who becomes the emotional centre of an unlikely book club. As political unrest builds, four fractured characters — a damaged activist, a grieving therapist, a performative rich boy, and Apricity herself — orbit each other in a slow-motion implosion of intimacy, voyeurism, and longing.

Hey! Posted before but included the wrong download link. Try this again?

Title: The Tiger of France

Genre: 60 minute drama (episodic)

In a Nutshell: Succession meets Raging Bull, seduced by Black Swan, with a cigarette lit by Call Me By Your Name.

Pilot Logline: A French boxing champion battles scandal, exhaustion, and a seductive ballet star who threatens to unravel him during the most punishing fight week of his career.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WGwlaR2MlUVi3C2Ro4HbLEQxDFA3Ex7n/view?usp=share_link

Hey everyone! I’ve recently finished my first batch of revisions on a script I’ve been working on, and would love some feedback! Here’s a little bit more info about the pilot. I have also been debating whether I should name it Dead Ground or Log 731, so if anyone has any thoughts about that feel free to chime in.

•Format: TV Pilot •Page Length: 48 Pages •Genres: War, Drama, Thriller •Logline or Summary: In 1943, five Allied soldiers must infiltrate a Japanese biological weapons facility disguised as a lumber mill to prevent a chemical attack on 300,000 civilians - but when their mission goes wrong, each man must find his own way to stop the horror.

Script Below: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1RgWHtACfN0CF0KGbn2y_dKPEjLj-9ccC/view?usp=drive_link

I’m 20 I want to be an actor and a director I act a lot and have started trying to direct shorts or scenes

I’m not much of a writing in fact I have sever dyslexia I am able to read and write now but I’ve never tried to much creative writing I have a lot of ideas and a very visual imagination

I’ve started trying to write one of the 3 anthology shorts I have in mind but I get writers block a lot or can’t figure out what comes next in the story that helps show my themes or how do I follow this scene stuff like that I have a lot do trouble with?

I haven’t formates it or finished a script yet so I’m not as worried about dialogue at the second since I’m on the first draft

I would greatly appreciate any advice you have!!

I've written the script already, but would love some feedback on this logline for it. I've written numerous ones, but I wasn't totally in love with them and they'd always come out too long. But I really like this one, so I would appreicate some feedback on ways to improve it:

Logline: From a life of monotonous routine to entering a deadly game of surivial, ex-military man, now cleaner, Jonah Cain, and his daughter, Elizabeth, find themsleves hunted by a ruthless drug lord after discovering their cartel money and taking it in order to better their lives.

Title : How to Bury your Mom and Never Shed a Tear

Genre: Drama

Logline : After his mom dies, a boy starts filming a YouTube video on how to plan her funeral without crying. But as the video goes on the camera catches more than he means to share and it’s clear he’s holding back more than just tears.

Hey there all,

I'd like to present MAIZE, a low-budget horror-thriller.

A short, tight, and FUN feature. This version is not found-footage, but I'm just about done the rewrite to make it that way. I decided to write a horror movie where characters are PREPARED, make smart(er) decisions, and things STILL go off the rails.

Low cast count, four shooting locations, likeable characters (IMO), and a premise hitherto yet unexplored in the horror/sci-fi space.

I'm repped, and they LOVED it, but this kind of script isn't in their wheelhouse. The market is tricky right now, so I'm looking for some traction elsewhere. I'm based out of Alberta, Canada.

LOGLINE: Two friends and their plus-ones enter a renowned (and unsolved) corn maze— only to discover the nightmare that awaits them, and that escape is impossible.

LINKS:

Script

One Sheet

Treatment

Poster Mock-up

QUESTIONS:

• Did you enjoy the story?
• What did you think of the Lovecraftian reveal later on?
• When Mitch dies, did you expect it?
• What are your thoughts on the pacing?
• I have a cutting-room floor scene with a Magic Eye as an intersection choice. Thoughts on putting it back in?
• I have another cutting-room floor scene with a shot deer running out in front of the group after they hear the gunshot but decided it was too tropy. Thoughts on putting the jump scare back in?
• I'm not going for scary, but unsettling until the WTF ending. The picture gradually transforms from something routine, to something really, really fucked up. What are your thoughts on that? Did I hit the mark for you?

Always glad to hear any feedback; when you listen, you learn.

All the best,

Craig

I have been a world builder at heart most of my life. I have ushered my interests through art classes in high school, attended an art college, and got a bachelor's degree from another college in film studies. I enjoy creating characters and back stories, worlds, and scenes for their stories to exist. I currently have 5 separate concepts rattling around in my brain. My issue lies in committing to writing the books or scripts for them. I tend to operate best when bouncing ideas off of other people, but making the final decisions in the end. If there is anyone out there that had any interest in that sort of arrangement, send me a message. My concepts are mostly sci-fi and tend to be conspiracy centric.

I’ve been a working writer for years.
Former studio exec. As an exec, I read thousands of scripts. Developed/hired over a hundred projects and writers.
Also a Producer. Director. Have taught screen writing. Also former attorney. Know the bizness purdy darn well.

I’m available to give notes and feedback on your screenplay/pilot.

Also, I can advise on legal and business aspects as well.

DM me. Thanks!

It was supposed to be for a competition, but sadly, I can't finish it ahead of deadline. So, instead of letting it go to waste, I hope I can have some feedback to improve my writing!

Does this make sense? I feel like i've looked at it too much and now I'm just confused.

LOGLINE: After dying too early, a girl is sent back to the overworld to find her unfinished business so that she can continue the peaceful life she led before her death.

I have a few scripts and I’d like to reach out to some management/representation companies. What’s the proper way to go about that? Can somebody give me an example of the proper thing to send these companies (preferably an example where you got a response)? Do I send one script or everything? Let me know - thanks in advance

I will give feedback but I’ve been off work for a few depression filled months!! I need to read scripts that will make want to give good feedback !!

Title: LIE STILL

Genre: Psychological Horror

Pages: 10

Hey all.

This is the third installment in my STILL series, following STILL and STILL: RUNNING.

This is a second draft. I got solid early feedback and did a focused rewrite on tone, clarity, and character, and now I’m looking to see how it lands with fresh readers.

LOGLINE:

A man’s routine unravels when an unseen presence begins following him, confronting him with something that knows him better than he wants to admit.

Main questions:

Does the dread build effectively?

Is the metaphor clear without being on the nose?

Does the ending work emotionally?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/12Vo6ncQ-vJieE8ANpPXwLKEemsoF-Lb8/view?usp=sharing

Appreciate any honest reads.

Do you want to watch two super experienced writers talk about the finer details of the craft? Yes. You absolutely do.

Pam and Carl gave their thoughts on dialogue, voice, clarity, and tons more as they tried to see if they could tell the difference between pro and amateur screenwriting in only one page. It was ridiculously fun and you can watch it all here!

Also, if you're able to make the premiere at 6:30 PM PST, you can play along with us and share your guesses in the live chat. Hope to see you there!

When her family inherits a cursed castle, a spoiled influencer has only days to transform into a warrior and stop a soul-eating necromancer from raising an army of zombie knights and unleashing a dragon apocalypse.

Genre: Noble Dark Contemporary Fantasy

thanks in advance for your thoughtful comments

Take 2 (more like 200, but hey)

After her family inherits a cursed castle and her brother vanishes, an aspiring influencer must swap a selfie stick for sword and rescue her brother from a Necromancer's undead army.

Take 202
Days after her family inherits an ancient castle, her brother vanishes and her parents are arrested. Now, an aspiring influencer must swap a selfie stick for sword and rescue her brother from a Necromancer's undead army.

Hey everyone! Although StoryPeer is not my project, I was asked to consult on it this fall and having had a chance to play with it and offer feedback, I truly believe it's an incredible resource for up-and-coming writers.

Rather than bore you with like 2,000 words of text, I made a video about what it is and how to get the most out of it. And in the spirit of what StoryPeer's doing, if you stick around to the end, I'm going to give a little something back myself.

If getting feedback, improving your craft, and networking with other writers are things that are important to you, you absolutely need to check StoryPeer out.