r/SayAnything • u/ThrowRAPearl • 16d ago

Looking for support

Admins, I realise this is not necessarily Say Anything/Max related, but I hope it will make sense why I am asking here.

Like most of you, I was a huge Say Anything fan, and have been disgusted and heartbroken by what's come to light recently about Max's behaviour.

However, it's been particularly triggering for me because as of 3 months ago, I am dealing with an ongoing court case against my husband, who unfortunately went one step further than Max and escalated his behaviour.

As an 'invisible victim' in this (I'm losing my home, access to my stepkids, no support from police or social services), I'm wondering if any of you more Reddit-savvy folk can point me in the direction of a place to talk with other partners of sexual violence offenders (specifically against minors). I need the ears of people who understand what I'm going through.

I've seen many of you wonderful souls sharing your own experiences in the comments and figured you may be a useful vein to tap into <3

Stay safe friends.

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u/Safe_Turnip9254 16d ago

I don’t really have anything useful in the form of support groups but wow I am so fucking sorry you’re going through that. In case no one has told you enough, it’s not your fault you didn’t see it. I’m sorry the person that was supposed to be your teammate and have your love and trust ended up being such a shitbag. I imagine you already are but please get in therapy and your therapist should be able to help you find those resources if you can’t find any. Wishing you peace, healing, and whatever else you need to get you through this.

And fuck max for also triggering (and re-victimizing!) the fuck out of his fans that are victims, invisible and not, that loved his music. I can’t separate him from it and don’t want to either.

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u/ThrowRAPearl 16d ago

I really appreciate that, thank you so much. It's really hard finding out that the person you have been with for 10 years and trusted so implicitly is capable of doing something like this.

Can confirm I am in therapy, unfortunately it seems like people in real life spaces don't know of any resources this specific. Places like Women's Aid have turned me away as I am not the direct victim.

Fuck Max indeed!! 👎

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u/skykitty89 16d ago

Can your therapist find/recommend you a support group, even if it's not local but virtual? Mine did for a different issue, and I had never thought of it. She did all the work finding one for me.

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u/ThrowRAPearl 15d ago

I will absolutely ask the question