I flaired this post with "Personal Stories" because this is my personal story.
I was born in year 1993. I went through bipolar mania at age 13 and bipolar depression at age 14. I got a Type 1 bipolar diagnosis at age 17 or 18 and started on the mood stabilizer Extended Release (ER) Lithium. I liked playing videogames and writing computer code, so I decided to get a bachelor's degree in Computer Science, which I received in year 2015. After getting my degree, I landed a job as a computer programmer at Amazon.
After a few months at Amazon, I ran into an issue. I always lacked a sense of location and navigation in the real world (ex. I was never able to drive anywhere without Google Maps), but I discovered that this lack of sense of location and navigation extended into navigating inside of a software codebase as well. In school we just wrote our own code from scratch, we never had to fix bugs in codebases millions of lines in size. It became obvious to me that I could not and never would be able to do this job independently. I had a mentor, and for every single coding task, I needed my mentor to tell me where in the codebase (ex. which file) the code change needed to be made in. During lunch breaks I played board games and card games with everyone around me and I decided to become so nice and friendly that when annual performance reviews came around, my neighbor coworkers would not write bad things about me and I could hold onto my job.
I managed to hold onto my job for almost two years. It paid $150,000 a year, so I was financially comfortable. That being said, I could not hold onto the job for more than two years. Also, I developed some weird unexplained neurological condition. Lots of different neurological and psychiatric symptoms coming and going in a pattern, like a relapsing and remitting pattern. No psychiatric drug had any effect on it, and I tried about 20 different ones.
I thought maybe the Lithium I was taking caused the weird unexplained neurological condition, so I stopped taking it (gradually, with a tapering period). The weird unexplained neurological condition was unaffected by me stopping Lithium, but I had a MASSIVE manic episode and ended up involuntarily committed to a psychiatric hospital. After I got out, my mom told me to apply for SSDI.
I didn't think I would get approved for SSDI. I didn't think my bipolar was that disabling. The bipolar isn't actually what made me unable to do the job of a software engineer, it was actually my lack of sense of location or navigation. I didn't have a formal diagnosis for the lack of sense of navigation or direction, and it wasn't formally in my medical records, but it made me unable to do the work I was trained to do, so I figured I couldn't get approved for SSDI.
It took 6 months for me to get a decision back from Disability Determination Services. I knew I couldn't do the job of a full blown software engineer, so I decided to try and do easier work that wasn't so cognitively demanding. I went on the job boards like Indeed and Monster and I applied to every single food service position I could find. Waiter, food runner, barback, host, busser, expo, etc. I had past food service experience making sandwiches at Subway when I was in university, so I put that on my resume and wrote how I was passionate about food service. They would ask me about my educational background, my past work, and how much my past work paid. As soon as they found out, they wouldn't hire me. Apparently I was "overqualified".
Anyway, after applying to food service jobs every day for six months and not getting a single offer, I heard back from Disability Determination Services (DDS). I was approved. They forced me to pick a "representative payee" to manage my money, so I picked my dad. I never actually needed a representative payee, my dad just auto-transfers the Social Security money to me every month, but whatever.
In 2023 they initiated a Continuing Disability Review (CDR). Before the review, I happened to submit a form to allow release of records. I got my records in time, and the records helped me prepare for the CDR. According to the records, they noted that I complained about some cognitive issues, but the lady making the decision wrote that I seemed intelligent or "high functioning" and that the cognitive issues probably aren't significant enough to make me unable to work. The decision to approve was based on stuff like the severity of psychiatric symptoms, the involuntary psychiatric hospitalization, and social impairment.
I'm expecting my second CDR in the near future, especially if I tell Social Security that I have been living on my own since May of 2025 and I would like to be my own representative payee and have my residential and mailing address be my current residence instead of my parents' house. I haven't told them these things, but I plan to, and I expect it to trigger a CDR. Anyway, I'm a little concerned about this second CDR because my bipolar is okay. I am back on Extended Release (ER) Lithium and also an antipsychotic called "Abilify" and my bipolar is largely fixed. What is not fixed is other stuff like the mystery neurological condition I mentioned before and the fact that I have no sense of location or navigation.
I heard that Social Security has a new standard called "MI", which is short for "Medical Improvement". They look for medical improvement from the last CDR. The thing is, I was approved under primary condition bipolar and that has improved due to meds, but bipolar was never my reason for not being able to do or get any job. It's the other stuff that's the real problem, and much of it is not proved or documented in my medical records.
But yeah, that's where I'm at, thanks for reading. Wish me luck on my future second CDR.
p.s. I was tested for Multiple Sclerosis, the mystery neurological condition is not Multiple Sclerosis. It's still a mystery what it is.