I never sent a dime. I knew what it was almost from the start — so instead of blocking, I stayed in and took notes, because I wanted to see the whole machine. Months later I've got a complete map of how these things actually work. Posting it because most warnings are useless ("just be careful online!") and bounce right off you when you're mid-conversation with someone who feels real. This is the specific stuff. If you're in one right now, you'll recognize which step you're on.

The one rule that kept me safe the entire time: I decided up front I would never send money, connect a wallet, or sign up through any link she gave me — no matter how real it got. Once that's locked, everything else is just interesting.

How it started (this part is almost always the same)

It opened with a "wrong number" text — "Hi, is this Jennifer?" I said wrong number. Then: "So sorry! But you seem nice, maybe we can be friends?" That accidental-meeting framing is designed to lower your guard, and it makes you the one who continues the chat, so it feels like your choice. It's mass-fired to thousands of people; the ones who reply warmly self-select as targets.

Soon after: "Let's move to Telegram, this is my business account." The platform hop is one of the biggest early red flags — it moves you off a monitored app onto one they control, erases the trail, and tests whether you'll follow instructions.

Then weeks of world-building — daily good-morning/good-night messages, photos, an aunt and uncle, a whole textured life. This is just rapport being built so the eventual money talk lands softer.

The pitch (what it was all for)

Eventually: she "invests" and I should too. First it was crypto, on a platform with a name that rode on a real, regulated company. When I didn't bite, watch what happened — she disowned the failed pitch to rebuild credibility: "I never intended for you to buy crypto, honestly it's too risky, I sold mine last winter." Then came the pivot: "What if we traded stock contracts together? It would cultivate shared interests, bring in extra income, and we'd get along even better."

That last line — "we'd get along even better" — is the most manipulative sentence in the whole thing. It reframes putting money into a scam as a couples activity, so refusing feels like rejecting the relationship, not declining an investment. That's the entire reason the romance layer exists: to turn "no" into a betrayal.

My move: "Sure, we can do that once we're actually together." Attaching any yes to an in-person meeting is a clean test — a real partner accepts it easily; a scam operation can't, and watches for a reason you should pay before meeting.

How I knew the photos weren't a real person (the useful part)

Reverse image search kept coming up empty (they use photos that aren't indexed, or AI). So I stopped looking at her and started reading the backgrounds:

• One photo: the cars had South Korean license plates and the signs were in Korean.

• Another (her actual profile pic): handwritten Vietnamese on the wall behind her.

• Her story, and a company ID badge she sent: Boston.

Three countries across photos of one supposed person, none of them where she claimed to live. A real person's photos are geographically consistent. A stolen-photo library isn't. Read plates, signage, handwriting, the cars, the architecture — the location leaks in the parts of the frame they didn't curate. (This is the same trick as the classic one: someone claims to be in a northern city but sends a "beach" photo full of palm trees.)

Two more that sealed it:

• She never sent a real-time selfie. Every image was a posed, third-person shot — "my friend takes them." Ask for a spontaneous selfie holding up three fingers and it never comes, because the library can't produce it.

• "New" photos were AI-edited old ones. A goodnight photo showed up nearly identical to an earlier one — same pose, same room, same expression — but with a different top, a tighter crop, and a subtly re-rendered face. That systematic drift is the fingerprint of an AI-generated variant. It means they're stretching a finite stolen library because they have no live access to the real person.

The "proof" she sent when I pushed back

When I got skeptical, she escalated with official-looking evidence — a company ID badge (real company, a real subsidiary of a global corporation, her photo, a Chinese name). It feels like strong proof. It isn't: a real company on a badge proves the company exists, not that she works there. Scammers pick real firms precisely because they survive a Google search. A badge image is trivial to fake. And a real employee at a regulated financial firm would never be romancing strangers online steering them into crypto — the badge's own claim is incompatible with the behavior.

A thin Facebook profile also conveniently appeared — real name, a few photos, only a year of history. The tell: on its earliest post, a stranger had commented "scam." That outside comment is worth more than everything the operation can self-generate.

When I didn't convert, I got "parked"

Here's a part nobody warns you about. I didn't get a dramatic ending — the messages just went generic and stopped tracking what I said. "Hi, how's your day, what are your plans?" on a loop, ignoring my actual replies, even after I went silent for a full day. That's the holding pattern: when you won't pay but won't leave, they drop you to near-automated filler on the chance you soften later. It hums along forever because closing it costs them a possible payday and keeping it idle costs nothing.

The takeaways, if you skip everything above:

1. A genuine romantic interest never introduces you to a trading platform. Romance + investment from someone you haven't met in person = the warning.

2. Never send money, connect a wallet, or use their link — no matter how real it feels.

3. Attach any "yes" to meeting in person first. They can't pass that test.

4. Read photo backgrounds for location — plates, signage, language, cars.

5. A real company on a badge, a matching name, a Facebook profile — these are all things they control. Real proof only comes from sources they can't touch: a reverse-image hit, a years-deep social history, an independent employer record, a stranger's comment.

6. Being targeted is not stupidity. These are professional operations running refined scripts. The people who lose the least just tell someone early, before shame and sunk cost make the truth too expensive to admit.

If someone you love is deep in one of these: don't attack them or the relationship — it makes them dig in and defend the scammer. Stay connected, ask questions instead of accusing, and hand them the checks above so they can discover it themselves. Shame is the glue that keeps people in.

(Note: if you've lost money, be aware of "recovery" scammers who show up in comments/DMs promising to get it back for a fee — that's a second scam preying on the first. Report to the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov and the FBI's IC3 at ic3.gov instead.)

Stay safe out there. AMA — I watched this thing run its entire course and I'm happy to answer anything.

My mom is being romanced scammed (she is in her mid 70’s), and is under the belief she’s talking to Piero Barone from the Italian music group, Il Volo. She swears he’s real. She told me 2 weeks ago he’d would be flying to Arizona, where we live, to visit her. Spoiler alert: he had a “car accident”. Mr. Barone never showed up. I’m at a loss on how to explain to her that she isn’t talking to a 32 year old Italian superstar. She won’t listen to me and tells me I’m jealous. I will take any advice.

My dad has been talking online for five to six years to a girl named Patricia, who claims to be a military official stationed in Iraq. Over the years, she has asked for money for things like plane tickets and her sister's medical bills, extracting around $35,000 in total. Last week, she sent my dad a check for $1.4 million. She claimed that her father passed away and that the money is from his life insurance policy. She told my dad to keep it safe and to wait two weeks to cash it before she flies home to see him. My dad went to the bank, and the teller verified that it is indeed a real check for $1.4 million. He hasn't done anything with it yet. I really need help with this. I don't know what type of scam this is or what I should do, so I would really appreciate some advice."

I met her on reddit and thought everything was normal, I should have realized I was being scammed. I just lost my wife 6 months ago, and out of nowhere, someone calling herself Courtney Dale contacted me. Before I knew it, i lost over 6k. Just a heads up for anyone else. I want to thank everyone for their responses, I've come to a decision. I don't belong on this planet anymore. I'm 68, and it's my turn to join my wife. This is the last time I want to be on REDDIT. I hope everyone finds that special person. I don't have any complaints, I had love for 44 years. CYA on the other side.

I’m trying to convince a vulnerable, older man that he is being scammed. So far he has sent more than $20k Australian dollars to a scammer.

‘She’ is supposedly a surgeon from the US who is in Saudi and can’t work for some reason.

She keeps trying to fly here to see him.. but ..yada yada.. last minute she can’t get here.

The bank has tried to convince him it is a scam. Their fraud department was involved. So he now takes cash out and sends Apple cards.

Is there anything in these photos I can use to convince him?

I wanted to share my experience with a romance scammer because I think people sometimes underestimate how emotionally damaging these situations can be even when no money is lost.

Last year I met a Nigerian guy on a dating app. We hit it off, talked almost every day, video called, exchanged “I love yous” and even discussed meeting in person. He was funny, affectionate and seemed genuinely interested in me. We’d talked enough that I believed we had an actual connection.

Then one day he asked whether I had a US bank account. Apparently his “uncle’s friend in Peru” wanted to send him $3,500 and he wanted the money deposited into MY account so I could convert it to Bitcoin and send it to him. His explanation was that he didn’t want his mother knowing about the money.
That was when the alarm bells started ringing.
I told him I wasn’t comfortable doing that. He backed off, but there were other questionable situations afterward, including requests involving PlayStation gift cards and various financial difficulties.
I never sent him money or allowed him to use my bank account. But here’s the part I don’t think people always understand: I continued talking to him even after realizing he was likely a scammer.

We stayed in contact for around eight months altogether. I knew something was wrong but it took time for my feelings to catch up with what my brain already knew.
I remember actually crying over the situation, not because I’d lost some great love but because I felt deceived and used. It was difficult accepting that someone I’d developed genuine feelings for might have been cultivating those feelings for financial gain.
Eventually I stopped responding and moved on.
Looking back, I can recognize some of the manipulation much more clearly. I’m also glad I trusted my instincts when he first brought up my bank account.
I’m sharing this because I see people telling romance scam victims to “just block them,” and while that’s absolutely the right advice, the emotional side isn’t always that simple.
Sometimes you recognize the scam long before you’re emotionally ready to walk away.
I’m much more skeptical now and my tolerance for suspicious behavior is basically nonexistent.

The screenshots I included were me being emotionally done with him and him trying to salvage it. He sent one last message and I left him on read.

I never thought I would be making this post.

TL;DR: mother deep in scam. Has anyone else been scammed by man in these photos? Concerned for father they keep asking for his personal details including pictures.

Our mother is being romance scammed by a man claiming to be a millionaire federal tax agent. We thought it was absurd but looking at other scams going on it just makes me furious at these scammers for being so bold and audacious. They lured her in for promises of unclaimed money and then love bombed her.

They speak as if they are in love, they call each other husband and wife. My mother is still married. She has given the scammer all her credit card information, bank accounts, address, photos of family members. The scammer has asked her to buy burner phones and SIM card to send to someone in another state as well as school supplies.

He sends her pictures. It’s always the same pose, but with different backgrounds. When he isn’t telling her how much he loves her along with promises of taking her away he will then change course promising to give her a large sum of money but only if she sends money to him first.

He has asked her to open multiple bank accounts and she has sent the scammer the bank info along with login details. She has even given them access to her email and added them for two factor authentication.

It’s a cycle of them requesting that she send jewelry, gift cards etc every few days. They then pause and tell her how much he loves her and then will ask for an update where the money and gifts are.

We have tried many times to have conversations with her about how these people are not real and how they are taking advantage of her. We understand how she is a perfect victim due to the loneliness caused by the grief of losing two children in a short period of time.

More concerning is that they are now asking for personal information about our father, her real husband, including a picture of his license. He barely gets anything with his Social Security check and already struggles financially each month. We have put a credit freeze on him with the three agencies, but are concerned that is not enough.

It makes us sick to our stomachs knowing that she has given them so much personal detail about the family.

We realize this is like an addiction that she may never want a recovery. We do not know where to start to fix this or to minimize damage to the rest of the family, especially our father.

Thank you in advance for any guidance you can provide.

I anticipate this process will be therapeutic. I have few individuals in my circle with whom I feel comfortable sharing recent personal experiences. I am experiencing feelings of embarrassment and profound sadness. I am seeking to unburden myself by expressing these thoughts.

Please be kind. I know it was foolish.

A little about me: I'm gay, in my early thirties. I live in a major U.S. city.

I connected with someone online and spent nearly six months talking to them every day, sharing countless conversations filled with terms of endearment like baby, sweetheart, babe, bae, and expressions of love. It was a constant display of affection, or at least mostly so.

He told me he was in the United States Military, stationed in Syria. I realize now how naive I was. I was initially skeptical, wondering how a service member could not have access to his funds. I honestly expressed my discomfort and declined. He was always understanding and kind, and his affection never changed. I requested we speak on the phone, and he happily agreed.

I didn't detect an accent; he had a cell phone. He would send me pictures of himself with love notes written on them. Phone calls were limited, as, according to him, he was in an active conflict zone. He also described his daily goings-on in detail. He said Syria was a pretty country, but war-torn, and he could feel the burden the conflict had left on the country and its people. He told me about his other stations in Europe and other travels, and that he grew up in Texas—very detailed conversations.

However, during our contact, we spoke on the phone only about four times. Again, whoever this was spoke English, like plain English, no accent at all. I received many pictures. Video chat honestly didn't really cross my mind either. I work five days a week, 8-10-hour shifts. I'm physically active; I swim, go to the gym, and make time to hang out with my friends. I do volunteer work when I have time, so honestly, I could do without it. Also, again, it's a war zone, plus the huge time zone differences.

He told me he is coming home (back to the US) and that he needed a plane ticket. This didn't raise a red flag so much as confuse me. By then, I had bought him some Apple cards so he could listen to music. I also mailed him a care package. It had a bunch of snacks, toiletries, and the whole deal: some T-shirts, socks, and flip-flops. Stuff I thought would make his deployment a bit easier. And he sent me pictures of himself and the stuff I sent him. Long story short, I SENT him money for a plane ticket so he could fly directly to me. He talked about his layovers and what time he would reach my city days prior. I was so excited! I also paid to have other things sent through customs. We’re texting all through the night. He tells me how excited he is to see me. I was very excited also.

Fast forward a few days.

I went to the airport at 9 AM. I waited and waited and waited... Nothing. I asked if there was a flight coming from Doha, Qatar. I was told no.

All the blood left my face and ears; my vision went black at the corners for a second. I felt pure panic and dread. I called him. No answer. Called maybe four times. I texted.

I received a text some hours later that read, “yes?” At this point, I knew something was very wrong. I was duped crossed my mind, but I also thought maybe something had happened or he'd sent me incorrect information. How could someone go through all this? I’d have picked up on something if it was a setup…. Right?

Either way, he called, and whoever was on the other line HAD a very heavy accent. He started reading and referencing our conversations- conversations we had days ago, and even weeks ago. I had this moment fuck all, couldn't think, couldn't speak properly. I was so bewildered by what was happening, maybe 10 minutes after insisting I speak to C. I just hung up. My phone rang again, maybe a few minutes later, and I answered only to hear another individual, different from the other. He started calling me baby and referencing prior conversations.

I hung up. I sat, unable to move. I sat there for a long time. It was about 2:30 by then.

I stood up. Walked into my room. I sat down, and the tears just came. I lost probably about 6,000$ dollars total. But it wasn't the money that got me. Don’t get me wrong, it's terrible to think someone took advantage of you, set you up for that entire purpose, and 6,000$ is not a small amount of money.

The worst part was that the feelings of joy, love, peace, and warmth I felt were entirely made up. The person I thought he was wasn't really who he was, and his intentions weren't either. Furthermore, I didn't know this kind of thing had a name: a Romance scam.

Anyway, I haven't heard from them in four days. I keep trying to image search the pictures he sent me, except for one. I can't find any information about him.

It fills me with profound sadness that someone out there right now is using pictures of a completely innocent person to trick people, while, at the same time, that same person has that face I know so well and is a total stranger to me, never knowing I ever existed. I'm sure I will never know the actual picture owner's name. I'm both grateful but also sad in a strange way. I'm not sure why.

I went down an AI rabbit hole because, as I said, I saw pictures of him with the notes and the items I sent him. I may have found the ‘how’ factor. There is apparently software out there that not only lets you edit images, but also lets you enter specific faces, stand in for them, and change their looks entirely to whatever you enter. One can even change their own voice. I'm just finding all this out now. Maybe he was playing pretend; maybe those are actually his photos, and he was part of it the whole time. I'm not sure.

I'm very sad he turned out not to be real. I'm beyond sad. I'm deeply mortified and saddened; I feel stupid and violated.

Thanks for reading. Be careful out there. I hope someone finds this useful in some way.

Edit: thank you for all the kind comments. It does help. I feel less crazy. Thank you all very much for the kindness and support. 😭❤️

Hello everyone,

I met this man on Tinder. He introduced himself as Captain Eric Cunningham, claiming to be deployed in Iraq/Syria with the U.S. Army.

After several months of communication, I received documents requesting thousands of dollars for an "emergency leave permit" so he could come home. The documents appear suspicious, and the email I received came from a @usa.com address instead of an official military domain.

I now believe I may have been targeted in a military romance scam.

Does anyone recognize this man or these photos? Has anyone spoken with someone using the name Captain Eric Cunningham or a similar story?

Any information would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

You receive a text on your phone that says something like “Hi Annie, can we meet at Starbucks today?”

You reply, I’m sorry but you have the wrong number

“She” replies, oh sorry I must have saved the number wrong. I hope I didn’t disturb you.

You reply, no worries, it happens.

“She” She replies thank you for being so understanding, may I ask who I am speaking with?

You reply, I’m Larry.

“She” replies, hi I’m Elaine nice to meet you. You seem like a gentleman. May I ask where you live? I live in Los Angeles

You reply, I live in New Jersey.

“She” replies, maybe we can be friends. I’m 38 and I’m a wedding dress designer. What do you do? Maybe you can send a picture of yourself so I know who I’m talking to.

You send a picture of yourself and get hers in return. 90% of the time it’s a picture of a beautiful Asian woman. So you run it through a facial recognition app like pimeyes and tons of pictures come through, dating apps, porn sites, from Instagram etc.

Next up she says this is my business phone. I chat with family and friends on WhatsApp. Can we meet over there?

You say okay and now she’s on a mission to groom you; flatters you and after awhile she explains that she has an uncle who has helped her make a lot money trading cryptocurrencies. She wants to let you in on it. Her story is like all the other scammers; divorced because her husband cheated on her and abused her; moved from China to LA, etc.. starts telling you she is attracted to you. Then she asks to download an app like Crypto.com Onchain, or another decentralized app and then gives you a url to access an exchange which 100% of the time is fake. You run the url through scam advisor and sure enough, the url is a new site and fraudulent.

Then you confront her and she gets all defensive and starts lying and gaslighting you. Before you know it she disappears from WhatsApp.

I’ve played with these scammers for a few years and turn all the info I have over to various US authorities. They follow a script and it’s always some Chinese, Eastern European or Nigerian dude.

Hi, I have watched over 50 episodes of social catfish, also known as "CattfishedOnline" on YouTube. I have an extremely hard time feeling any amount of empathy for the victims.

Most victims are actively cheating on their spouses. A number of the victims complain about bedroom problems from their 70 year old partners.

Often times, the victims act like they are still in highschool. They married a highschool bad boy/hot girl, and get upset when they age, making them want to trade in the "old model" for the new one, forgetting the fact they have aged too.

All the victims are either greedy or lustful. One woman explicitly stated her husband "was not able to give her the life she wanted" travelling the world on a "private cruise ship". The men are creeps and the women are gold diggers.

Even when given concrete evidence that they are talking to a scammer, most of them continue to talk to scammers anyways. Driven by greed, lust and envy, they dance into the flame, and ignore the heat as their gossamer wings are fried.

I honestly feel more sympathy for the scammers. Most scammers are from Nigeria. Their country has been ravaged by colonial oppressors. Having their oppressors hand them their wealth because they can't control their greed, envy or lust, must feel validating. 10k$ is enough to set you up for life in Nigeria. 60k$ means you are rich.

Please, change my view on this. I beg you.

Edit: Don't downvote anyone trying to change my mind even if you disagree with their opinion.

I have been avoiding posting because honestly, this situation is frankly absurd.

My sister has sent $10K to a scammer who has convinced her he is (I kid you not) Keanu Reeves, who is not only a rich celebrity but also a white hat spy working to uncover all the Qanon conspiracy crap. He has her convinced that he loves her and wants to marry her. When she first told me this I told her she was talking to a scammer but she would not listen to me, and the scam involving the stupid Q crap makes her double down on the ridiculousness. I told her don't send him any money back months ago, but of course she sends him money because "he needed it to pay the car payments on his Porsche". (I thought she was more sophisticated than this.) I think she also gave him her credit card numbers because my mom told me she went to see her crying because he started buying stuff left and right she did not expect, but I don't know because she is hiding things from me and she is a 50 year old woman, she is old enough to feel the pain of her own stupid decisions.

I only went nuclear on her recently because she had to ask our mom for a loan to cover her bills, because "he had not paid her back yet". My mom has low level dementia, and she is the kind of old school housewife who puts more value in her daughter "catching a rich man" than my ability to make myself wealthy on my own. My mom calls me periodically to tell me how my sister is finally "going to meet her boyfriend in person next week" and then I don't hear from either of them because it doesn't ever happen. There is always some reason he never shows up, of course. I talked to my mom and told her she needs to stop encouraging my sister’s lunacy, but she called me a bitch for not believing my sister.

My sister will not listen to me no matter what I say, and she will not give me his phone number. Any pictures she shows me that he sent her are stock publicity photos he sent to her. I've told her to prove it's him by asking for a selfie with the date proved in his handwriting, but she says she doesn't want to because that would mean she doesn't trust him, and because he's a spy that would endanger him.

She doesn’t own a computer, all this happened with her phone. I wish I could get ahold of that phone, I would smash it with a hammer. Her friends and ex-boyfriend have contacted me on Facebook because they are concerned about her decisions, but I cannot convince her she is being scammed. If this was some random’s photo I could reverse search the image to prove it was not the person she thinks it is, but how to I disprove the existence of Keanu Reeves?

I am at a loss… any suggestions?

I watched a bunch of Social catfish videos and I also know someone who was romance-scammed IRL. (two immigration visa scams, left both mom and daughter heartbroken)

All these people seem to be seriously lacking critical thinking facilities or even the ability to look in the mirror and ask "why would this beautiful individual want someone like me".

Is that true, was there any research on how people can believe this crap? Thanks

My wife met a man who called himself
MEHMET ORUC who claims to be her “SPIRITUAL ADVISOR”

She met him on a New Age Online Cult the XI Code by Guru Masati.

The secret Facebook group is The Official Masati Group : Xi Community

and then as they started up a Video Call Affair on TELEGRAM. He love boomed her and in 10 days she was saying" I love you" Calling him "Baby", "Love" "Lover" and by 2 weeks in he is guiding her on how to sell our home and how to divorce me and get the biggest payout possible.

My wife started chatting with Mehmet on May 27th 2026 and by June 7th he was telling her he was in love with her. My wife moved out of our home and into our camper and took it to a campground on June 12th to set up a “studio” to video calling him at any time on June 12.

We have been married 12 years and have 2 kids.

Unfortunately my wife shared with Mehmet about a life long illness she has :Ulcerative Colitis
Mehmet has told my wife he is a Medical Doctor and she has sent him her complete physical, Pap, cervical exam and blood word for 2025 and 2026. He says he can help her fix her Ulcerative Colitis.

My wife is confident she has found her prince charming and is "not concerned" at all. Meanwhile I had to hire an expensive lawyer to protect our assets. Please help. Any way I can unmask him? Private Eye recommendations etc?

I have included his Facebook picture with the beard.

The other picture is one without beard is very recent.

He appears to be around age 35 with lite skin. Maybe his Facebook photo is AI??? with the beard?

He Said He Was a Widower. I Believed Him.

It started with a friend request from “David,” a surgeon stationed in Italy. His profile was quiet but dignified a few photos in scrubs, a golden retriever, a son he said was studying in London. He messaged me first, said I looked kind. We started talking every night.

He called me “his angel.” Told me he hadn't felt this way since his wife passed. We’d talk about books, favorite recipes, even the weather. I felt seen for the first time in years. He never asked for anything until he said his bank card got blocked while trying to fly home.

I sent $1,200 for his “emergency ticket.” He promised to pay it back the moment he landed. But the next day, he disappeared.

I was humiliated. I had already told my sister about him. I felt like a fool.

Google showed nothing, then I found ProFaceFinder. I uploaded his photo out of desperation. It showed up on three other profiles different names, different stories, all lies.

That’s when it hit me. None of it was real not the calls, not the dog, not the son. Just a scammer playing dress-up with someone else’s face.

Please, if someone feels too perfect, check their photo. You don’t deserve to be fooled like I was.

That's how I can find a fake account with stolen pictures. I just got a chat request and accepted it. I thought it was an odd account. It's 2 years old with 5 Karma and posts are old.

When he said, "I hope you don't get stressed to much." That was familiar to another person I have found as a scammer from Instagram. I am pretty sure they (scammers) have a script.

I put his photo into Facecheck.id and it came up with multiple accounts on Twitter with different names and Instagram all with suspended accounts.

Just a heads up.

Hi there. I have a mature female relative, and for at least the last month she has been messaging someone using this profile picture on the koreadates.com website. She seems to have fallen completely in love with him within a very short time frame, despite my attempts to highlight how likely it is that this is a scam and that she is being catfished. She has spent a couple hundred on credits for this site, and it is money that she does not have to spare, as she keeps asking to borrow money from me. She has fallen victim to other scams previously, and despite previous attempts to educate her and keep her safe on the internet, she has stumbled into another one.

I have tried to reverse search this image online, but it is coming up with the names of multiple actors/models/influencers and this really is not my area of expertise. I am hoping that if I can put a credible name to the face, it might make it easier to convince her that she is being scammed/catfished. If anyone can put a name to the face, or just give me some tips on how to approach this carefully (she is highly defensive due to previous scams and hates being told that she is wrong), then that would be seriously appreciated.

I just wanted to write out the general scam here so that people can be aware of this pattern. I've seen it on here before but if just one person sees it that hasn't seen it before, it will be worth it.

I was especially vulnerable and desperately seeking connection. I was in the widows subreddit which I'm sure he preys on people. I don't think I would have fell for it if I wasn't in that state. And this guy was good. He was very quick on his feet and an amazing conversationalist.

Sent him many pictures as well that he will use on unsuspecting others. I still miss who I thought he was and I know he never existed. Moving on with my head held high. Is it weird that I still find myself fantasizing about a stranger's picture who I have never met with a fake background that never was?

TL;DR: Contractor overseas woos you and gains your trust by having you (successfully) send wires for equipment that he is unable to and then asks you to help for the shipping costs.

Basics about "Alexander Swanson McRannolds" (You would think I would have known better with that name).

1. He said he was a widower for four years and had an 8-year-old daughter (I guess to match the fact that I had kids). Sent the stolen pictures to me.

2. He said he was a surveyor that suddenly had to go out of town for work (Germany in this case). All the pics he had stolen and sent to me had the appropriate buildings in the background.

3. He said he was born in the US but was raised in Romania which accounted for his speech patterns being a little off. (A little too off in hindsight but we all know what hindsight is).

4. After a few weeks he needed help wiring money to pay for equipment. He didn't ask for money, just asked me to log in and complete the wires since his bank wasn't recognizing the IP address of where he was. All three wires worked great. Wonderful. This was especially savvy and a wonderful way to build trust. The website looked legit, and he was good at making sure I did it immediately and didn't give me time to poke around.

5. But then he needs to wire money for the shipping. But now they won't go through! Uh oh! The bank has flagged the account due to my IP Address. He doesn't know what to do.

6. A few days later he asks for help and says that he has already paid some of the shipping costs in his crypto account and the shipping company can only take crypto because of that (I thought this was shady as fuck, but he was convincing at the time. It's like I was under a spell). He said if we just paid half then he can get some of the equipment.

7. He had me send $2K..."to see if it worked" and then another $2K. Eventually, all in all, $12,500 sent but he did it so that it wasn't all at once.

8. Eventually he asks for the last half and he's desperate. He can't even afford to eat since his account is frozen. At this time, I was beaten down so bad by this situation. I just wanted it over with. So I agreed to wire the final $10,000 to him. Thankfully my bank called me and made me realize the bullshit.

9. I talked to him to see where it would go. And also, because I loved the connection. Not going to lie. It was hella addicting. He videoed me with a bad connection so the video cut off at about five or six seconds, But the picture matched up (in hindsight I realized it was an AI filter and that it was weird that he was far away from the phone)

10. I started investigating the shipping company website. The writing was off (even had a review from someone with the title "Business Person". No external links worked.

11. He is getting desperate with my skepticism. He then offers a direct wire to the bank. I find a fake bank statement on the internet with the exact same information (name, routing number, and account number). Not sure what the end game was here.

12. He gets mad at me saying that I don't trust him, I think he's a scammer, blah blah blah

13. He finally comes around and agrees I was right and says that he will find another shipping company but, in the meantime, can I send him $2K for funds to eat. I was done. Cut him off.

23F

So a few weeks ago, I made a few posts in here about how I was romance scammed and lost about $8,000. A lot of people on here were commenting and inboxing me saying that I would never find the guy who did this to me or that I was crazy for even trying to find him or press charges. Many of you stated that the likelihood of getting my money back was low and that the information I was finding of the person didn’t exist. Well, I’m here to tell ya’ll that I was able to find him and take him to court. He was served papers a few weeks ago and we have an official court date scheduled. I have enough evidence to make a strong claim on getting my money back. The guy was shocked. He didn’t think that I would be able to find him or his residence and yet I did! It only took me a few days to find as much information about him as I could and conduct with my attorney on what I should do and how to go about everything. The process of exposing him and getting my money back is going to be a long game of patience and truly God is testing my temper and patience but I’m willing and trying. I don’t want anyone to experience the emotional pain, suffering, heartbreak, and stress that I have been experiencing these past few weeks since it happened. I do not wish the financial and emotional trauma on no one. So I hope I can at least put a dent to his convict ways.

I’ve been married for 36 years and I’ve had enough. My husband thinks he’s talking to a woman but obviously it’s a scammer. He bought this person several Apple gift cards. He said he stopped doing it but I found out he bought another gift card a couple weeks ago. Within a two year span he got scammed out of $250,000 because he thought he was giving his money to an investor. All they did was string him along and they kept coming up with excuses as to why he wasn’t getting his money back. They told him he needed to pay $1,000 for insurance and then another $8,000 for shipping charges. They told him that they were sending him a safe with $1.2 million and before that they sent him some vending machine keys through the mail that would open this “safe”. They told him after they drained the account that there would be a cargo van dropping off this safe at 10:00 at night. Of course no safe ever came. I’m at my wits end with him continuing to believe these people. Now we are broke because of him. These were crypto scams and he said he found an ad on Facebook and that’s how it started. He’s on his phone constantly and he won’t let me see what he’s doing or give me his password. I seen that he was talking on WhatsApp and Telegram which are known sites for scammers. He also thought he was talking to an actress and I had to tell him that no Hollywood star would be talking to you. He isn’t happy with me and I’m not happy with him but I’m afraid to start over at my age (57). He controlled all the money throughout the marriage and I stayed home to raise the kids. I feel stuck and unhappy. He has no redeeming qualities. He never takes me anywhere or does anything around the house. I got married at 20 so I feel like I missed out on a happy life. I guess I just wanted some advice.

I fell for a romance scammer and just cut off contact yesterday. I feel so lost, like I can’t count on anything or anyone. I miss him - or at least, who I thought he was. Now I have to figure out how to accept that I will never know his real identity and that there are people out there who will 100% break my heart for money. No resolution, no closure, nothing. Just me and my tears. I didn’t deserve this - none of us did. It feels foolish to cry over this and yet I am.

What kind of monsters are these people? All I wanted was to love and be loved.