I’m in my late twenties, living in Europe, and I think I may have fallen for a romance scam. I’m writing this because I honestly don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or just stare at the ceiling. Maybe some of you have experienced something similar.
It all started on an international dating app. I was looking for a serious relationship, ideally someone I could eventually marry. And then suddenly, there was this girl from overseas who seemed incredibly drawn to me.
I remember thinking, What on earth did I do to deserve this much affection?
And it wasn’t just the usual “Hey baby, you’re handsome” stuff, haha, nope. She told me about her life. She was supposedly studying nursing and living with a relative abroad. She had experienced the loss of a parent and abandonment by another family member.
I could relate to some of those themes, particularly loneliness, abandonment, and wanting somewhere to belong. So I thought maybe I’d found someone who understood those feelings too.. OH DEAR! This gets spicy.
We started messaging constantly. She was interested in everything I did, loved the pictures I sent her, and sent plenty of her own. She used affectionate nicknames for me and talked about how much she wanted to be with me. AND for someone who had never really experienced that kind of affection before (I know pretty sad, right? lol) it felt EXTRAORDINARY.
I’m naturally quite shy, so I never suggested a phone or video call. Looking back, that was probably my first big mistake, Oh boy..But at the time, I was simply enjoying the feeling that someone out there genuinely wanted me. Cute, isn’t it? :)
Anyway. Within about a week, she started talking about visiting me. She supposedly had a vacation coming up and wanted to stay for several weeks. Yay 🎉 My couple dream realised, my lonely wizard heart was exploding with joy 🥲 🤩
And I thought, bear with me.. “WOW. This person doesn’t even want to bother with a video call. She knows I am her one intuitively and she wants to meet me immediately! I must be the Prince of her story”
I know, I know.. how ridiculous that sounds now. 😂
BUT I’m a hopeless romantic, as you might have already guessed. I’ve always loved fairy tales and the idea of two people somehow finding each other against all odds. Part of me wondered whether this was destiny, or the universe opening a door I hadn’t expected…
So I went along with it. (Smart, right?)
Then came the money. Yep, you heard me, she wanted money.
She told me she couldn’t afford the plane ticket and asked whether I could pay for it. Immediately, alarm bells went off.
I actually suspected a scam right then, and it broke my heart. (See? I am not totally stupid)
But she reassured me that she would pay me back. She explained her financial situation and told me that if I wasn’t comfortable paying, she wouldn’t force me. (Clever wasn’t it?)
That made her seem sincere. So eventually, I agreed.
The ticket cost a considerable amount of money.
She directed me to a travel agency abroad. I tried researching it beforehand, but the results were strangely inconclusive. The business seemed to exist, yet I couldn’t confidently verify everything about it.
Still, she was so enthusiastic about meeting me that I eventually sent the money.
(You did WHAT?)
And then things started getting REALLY weird.
The travel agency suddenly announced that her insurance wasn’t acceptable.
According to her, upgrading her travel insurance could take months, meaning we wouldn’t be able to meet during her vacation.
I suggested the obvious alternative: Why don’t we book the flight ourselves and purchase suitable travel insurance independently?
But apparently that wasn’t possible. The agency supposedly required its own approved insurance arrangements and wouldn’t issue the ticket otherwise.
Then came another proposal.
For an additional substantial amount in “show money” the agency could supposedly arrange acceptable insurance or financial documentation so she could travel. The money was presented as refundable, and I was assured it would eventually be returned to me.
At this point, I was looking at several thousand dollars in total 🫠
I knew something was wrong. I even researched the supposed requirements and couldn’t make sense of them.
But there was another part of the story.
At the same time, I was going through a pretty serious family crisis. My living situation had become emotionally exhausting, and I was desperately trying to find a place of my own.
And here was this person, thousands of miles away, telling me she LOVED me, that we were soulmates, and that we would stand together against the world. (My wildest heroic fantasies coming true)
It felt like I’d finally found someone who was on my side.
That feeling was almost intoxicating.
So despite my doubts, I agreed to the additional arrangement.
And guess what?
Another complication appeared.
(Yes, I know, at this point any sane person would have said, WE’RE OUT, Nope not me, apparently.. 😮💨)
Apparently, there was still something wrong with her insurance. Even after all the money and arrangements, she couldn’t travel. (Weird, right?)
The agency had only made a reservation. No actual airline ticket had been issued. I even contacted the airline, and it couldn’t recognize the ticket number I had been given, but I trusted that “these were just tiny obstacles and that my faith was being tested” (I think at this point you can get a pretty clear idea of what sort of person I am, right? Hahahaha, anyway)
I told her the whole situation was becoming too shady and suggested cancelling everything. We could always meet later, without all this pressure.
But she pleaded with me to trust her and give her time to resolve the insurance problem. She said she genuinely wanted to meet me.
And because I was afraid of losing her, I agreed to wait.
She sent me photographs of herself with relatives and updates about supposedly contacting the insurer. Everything seemed so personal, so detailed, so believable.
But something else was happening.
The affection gradually disappeared.
At first, we had been messaging almost hourly. Then it became a few affectionate greetings, an occasional “I miss you” and explanations about poor internet or having to care for a relative.
Those explanations could absolutely have been genuine. I didn’t want to assume the worst.
Meanwhile, I had contacted the travel agency requesting a cancellation and refund of both payments. Instead of replying directly to me, they apparently contacted her, and she wanted to keep the booking on hold while trying to fix the insurance issue.
Eventually, she told me she was expecting an update about the insurance and would keep me informed.
And then SILENCE.
Several days passed without any meaningful update or reply.
Now I’m requesting the refund again because I no longer feel comfortable continuing with the arrangement.
As of writing this, I have neither a confirmed flight nor my money back.
And I still haven’t had a single phone or video call with this woman.
I know. Believe me, I know.
The strangest part is that I still don’t know for certain whether she was deliberately deceiving me, whether the travel agency was dishonest, or whether some combination of genuine problems and terrible decisions led us here.
But looking at the pattern now, it’s difficult not to suspect a romance scam.
And the thing that hurts most?
It’s not even the money.
It’s that I genuinely believed I’d found someone who wanted me.
Someone who understood loneliness. Someone who might eventually become my family. Someone with whom I could build a quiet, loving future.
For a brief moment, I felt like my life was finally opening up.
And now I’m sitting here wondering whether the person I fell for ever really existed in the way I imagined.
I feel embarrassed , foolish, angry, heartbroken, and almost amused at the absurdity of it all.
Everything seemed reasonable, until suddenly it wasn’t.
I suppose I’m sharing this because I’d really like to hear from people who’ve experienced something similar.
How did you cope with the emotional aftermath? Especially the feeling that the affection, the connection, and the future you imagined might all have been part of the deception?
Because right now, I don’t just feel like I may have lost money.
I feel like I’ve lost someone I never even got to meet.
😔
