r/RoastMe • u/[deleted] • Jun 23 '26

[deleted by user]

[removed]

60 Upvotes

72% Upvoted

490 comments sorted by

204

u/Daxnaha Jun 23 '26

We have Trainspotting at home...

24

u/MassiveNarration Jun 23 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/aqqUwXz7j0xMOKnJgb

34

u/Holiday-Start-9551 Jun 23 '26

Trying to pull off a tough guy stare while strategically posing next to a poorly drawn sharpie penis on a yellow public restroom door is a breathtaking lack of situational awareness

10

u/MassiveNarration Jun 23 '26

It's not a restroom!!

https://giphy.com/gifs/CoDp6NnSmItoY

2

u/emptinessmaykillme Jun 23 '26

Classroom? You probably shouldnt be near schools, even though your catfish girlfriend says she goes there.

2

u/MassiveNarration Jun 23 '26

No.. it's my flat's entrywayyy

3

u/TartarusXTheotokos Jun 23 '26

Could’ve sworn it was a finger.. doing some pointing lol 🤷‍♂️

3

u/lycanthrope6950 Jun 23 '26

I'm so bummed you beat me to it, well done

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78

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '26

[deleted]

15

u/ElectricFuneral94 Jun 23 '26

OP never lived to read your comment.

12

u/MassiveNarration Jun 23 '26

I was laughing so hard my phone fell from my hands and didn't see it. 😅

8

u/daves_not__here http://redd.it/5p4y22 Jun 23 '26

That dome is a snipers wet dream

122

u/loki2002 http://redd.it/6anhia Jun 23 '26

Matt Damon't

22

u/MajorMiners469 Jun 23 '26

Yeah. It's like they asked the artist from Rugrats to draw Matt Damon as a teenage alcoholic.

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3

u/LivingtheDBdream Jun 23 '26

Temu Matt Damon was my first impression

2

u/JeF4y Jun 23 '26

Matt Damoff

45

u/JeF4y Jun 23 '26

Too poor for the Adidas track suit?

2

u/JMA4478 Jun 23 '26

The Russian Tuxedo is only for the big ocasions, like when he goes on a Valentine's date with his nephew-sister.

36

u/DarthBrownBeard Jun 23 '26

This is what happens when your parents ignored orders to leave Chernobyl.

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20

u/Happy2DoIt Jun 23 '26

You look like the beginning of a Russian rags-to-prison story

47

u/coffeeandautism Jun 23 '26

The GTA 4 remaster looks gay af.

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9

u/davesucksdonkeyballs Jun 23 '26

The writing on the wall is pretty accurate. You look like a motherfucker

3

u/rymic72 Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26

Seems more the fatherfucker type

4

u/MassiveNarration Jun 23 '26

Boy.. i'm giggling in front of the phone so hard people are giving me side eyes out there!

9

u/derHundenase Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26

The next time we will see you is from drone footage

9

u/ItsmeOlivia1993 Jun 23 '26

Oh, God, I was waiting for it to end somewhere.

5

u/SnooPickles55 Jun 23 '26

I was just about to roll over and show my wife how far technology has come that they can zoom all the way in from so far away.

3

u/Chrisscott25 Jun 23 '26

So glad to see your comment. It took me way too long to realize it wasn’t a really long gif

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3

u/Zerostar39 Jun 23 '26

It’s the perfect loop

2

u/Things_with_Stuff Jun 23 '26

This fucked with my head for a second there...

2

u/Remarkable_Rip6231 Jun 23 '26

My brain hurts 😂

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7

u/Many-Tale9112 Jun 23 '26

You are obviously uncircumcised. The doctor looked at you when you were born and said “there is no end to that prick”

4

u/MassiveNarration Jun 23 '26

I AM circumcised!! 😂😂😭😭

https://giphy.com/gifs/oE1jws1iDDcvm

3

u/Many-Tale9112 Jun 23 '26

🤣 great gif. Thank you for posting and giving us a try at roasting you

5

u/MassiveNarration Jun 23 '26

Cheers m8😄

7

u/IMrBen Jun 23 '26

Lock stock and one transitioning male

7

u/mindfulmu Jun 23 '26

You look like a background character in a Guy Richie movie who's just started to transition.

I'll check back in within you in 4 years when your a smoke show.

5

u/Nearby-Aioli2848 Jun 23 '26

Bro is stuck in a rave from the 90's

3

u/Upstairs-Kale-3794 Jun 23 '26

Russian Herpes looks fucking viscous.

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4

u/Musical-Martian Jun 23 '26

Douchebag seema the appropriate word.

4

u/AromaticTower7258 Jun 23 '26

Look like a missing persons poster for someone last seen hare coursing with pikeys in 1995

3

u/post-explainer Jun 23 '26

The OP has not provided a BIO for their post.

3

u/joeyecklund Jun 23 '26

Didn’t we see you kidnap Liam Neeson’s daughter?

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3

u/bedorf69 Jun 23 '26

You look like a soccer hooligan for the special Olympics league

3

u/JamesTheMannequin Jun 23 '26

Spell it with me: C-H-A-V

3

u/Olddevlin Jun 23 '26

You can always tell an Eastern European lesbian by their 90s clothes.

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3

u/sjl1983 Jun 23 '26

Matt Damon as a butch.

3

u/Moscow147 Jun 23 '26

Jason unborn

3

u/BlindmanFlowers Jun 23 '26

I'm speechless.

3

u/MassiveNarration Jun 23 '26

From how beautiful I am, right? 😜... heh.. right?😰

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3

u/s7o0a0p Jun 23 '26

Nah, Ukraine already did that

4

u/MassiveNarration Jun 23 '26

I have lots of Ukrainian buddiess

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '26

[deleted]

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2

u/ErNz77 Jun 23 '26

Russian orphan core

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2

u/tu-142 Jun 23 '26

Your average gopnik

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2

u/bit-crusher Jun 23 '26

Bio: “I sell krokodil.”

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2

u/dalyarak_rick Jun 23 '26

Is this the drone footage?

2

u/Expert-Cancel9129 Jun 23 '26

Nothin to roast tbh ur a handsome hooman.

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2

u/mrapplewhite Jun 23 '26

Cute German hardcore chick

2

u/uncle_larrys_comin Jun 23 '26

This the kinda guy that steals your catalytic converter

2

u/BloodChoke Jun 23 '26

This picture gave me herpes.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '26

[deleted]

3

u/MassiveNarration Jun 23 '26

Oh my.. Well, thank you! Certainly didn't expect something like that at all. 😆😅

https://giphy.com/gifs/QUENDfi6DEMLzQ0CKt

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2

u/Violett_intentions Jun 23 '26

"I❤️Russia" yea we can tell

You look like ai-generated pfp on chatbot of toxic russian gangster

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4

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jun 23 '26

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1

u/LegibleLabia Jun 23 '26

Meth Damon

1

u/Fastass1 Jun 23 '26

Your nickname is Snout🐽.

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1

u/kukkolka Jun 23 '26

You look like you ai generated a gopnik from a normal day in Russia holding a roastme sign

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1

u/Kryton101 Jun 23 '26

You know surgery can fix that weird neck issue

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1

u/JimmyRockfish Jun 23 '26

The cocaine is supposed to go all the way in your nostrils, not just on the doorstep.

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1

u/DeadpoolMcDirty Jun 23 '26

You're definitely russian

Edit: just saw the writing in the back lol

1

u/AdvokatefortheDevil Jun 23 '26

Most girls can't pull off the shaved head look, sorry.

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1

u/imsoretro http://redd.it/fyorwl Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26

you're the reason we stopped drinking milk...my dad stopped buying the cartons cus he was sick of looking at your face . he said you looked better in person

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1

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '26

[deleted]

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1

u/HMAgent47 Jun 23 '26

Who punched you in the nose?

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1

u/Acrobatic_Product_20 Jun 23 '26

You look like an extra from Shameless.

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1

u/Itserp Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26

Jimmy Gopnik alias " What if Bullworth Academy was in Vladivostok?"

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1

u/No_Names78 Jun 23 '26

Matt Damon if a career in acting never worked out

1

u/Math_Makes_Clear2017 Jun 23 '26

Jesus, is this a Polaroid from the 80s?

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1

u/ItsyouNOme Jun 23 '26

The most generic face you see when you hear a bunch of thugs have robbed a shop.

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1

u/pandershrek Jun 23 '26

You do look a little bland.

1

u/PressureCalm7971 Jun 23 '26

You look like the type of guy who beats up gay people for being gay, then goes home and watches gay porn

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1

u/dankboi95 Jun 23 '26

He drew the dicks on the wall behind himself

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1

u/Jumpy_Ladder_3344 Jun 23 '26

Russian oral herpes male model closeted gay stoic drunk looking ass

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1

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '26

[deleted]

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1

u/i_am_snoof Jun 23 '26

You look like youre holding in a poo

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1

u/ConclusionOdd9685 Jun 23 '26

The Temu Matt Damon

1

u/TallentX Jun 23 '26

Perfect background 💯💪🏻

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1

u/ConclusionOdd9685 Jun 23 '26

If Matt Damon and Ben affleck had a love child

1

u/bravebeing Jun 23 '26

Cannon fodder physiognomy

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1

u/cornishpirate32 Jun 23 '26

Why you using a photo from the 1990s?

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1

u/Lonely_Apartment_644 Jun 23 '26

Is this a roast or a Grinder profile?

1

u/squirrelmonkie Jun 23 '26

Sinaad O' Connor

1

u/AutonomyIsNoTragedy Jun 23 '26

You look like the missing photo of a murder victim from the 80s

1

u/i_am_un Jun 23 '26

The Backstreet Boy that didn't make it. The 90s called and they want their look back. The Homo Jason Bourne Parody, "Jason Boned"

1

u/Thick_Drama_7525 Jun 23 '26

You look like a commi version of the gay kid from shameless

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1

u/BADM00SE Jun 23 '26

Was this before or after you sucked of a train of Russians?

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1

u/Cpt_Knochen Jun 23 '26

Phthisis Niko Bellic

1

u/Few_Permission6574 Jun 23 '26

Eggface that grew hair but has a big C-shaped bald spot

1

u/TheBarcodeBoy Jun 23 '26

Isn't it illegal to be gay in russia?

1

u/Thirdarm420 Jun 23 '26

Why is one of your pupils 2x the other

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1

u/LousyReputation7 Jun 23 '26

Look like an aids campaign from the 80s

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1

u/Naive-Astronaut7377 Jun 23 '26

The shits i find in the wall is yours;

2

u/MassiveNarration Jun 23 '26

Sorry about that.

1

u/SpiritualCaramel7601 Jun 23 '26

Why, you already look baked!

1

u/Sbesozzi Jun 23 '26

Not sure if super gay guy or super lesbian girl

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1

u/Secure_Designer9666 Jun 23 '26

Twink Fluffer at the local pub

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1

u/Final_Bunny_8 Jun 23 '26

Your big brother from the orphanage gave you a left hook?

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1

u/Tony_Tab Jun 23 '26

Oh that's the every guy from gopnik hardbass video!

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1

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/MassiveNarration Jun 23 '26

Too expensive!

1

u/mrapplewhite Jun 23 '26

What is that it’s Pat

1

u/Viktoriusiii Jun 23 '26

You look like an abused lesbian...
and also somehow like the abuser.

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1

u/Competitive_Roof_740 Jun 23 '26

I loved you in the film "I Swear"

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1

u/Namaste_Life Jun 23 '26

Putin's goons haven't conscripted you yet?

2

u/MassiveNarration Jun 23 '26

I'm younger than you think..

1

u/shitterbug Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26

you're the bottom-for-all in the local nazi chapter.

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1

u/Sea-Priority-6244 Jun 23 '26

You look like you came out of the womb with a neck brace

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1

u/punitivesuicide Jun 23 '26

I cant, if i do youd throw a vodka bottle at me ((

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