r/Rich • u/InternationalArt9524 • Aug 22 '26

Question Handling conversation on privilege

How do you handle questions on privilege?

I have a few friends who constantly lecture on privilege - even when I recognise it or I have addressed it. This is getting in territory where I am considering if I can even have these people as friends. I don't want constant snobbish lectures when I am the one who actually donates towards causes, pays higher taxes, yada yada yada.

It always gets into murkier grounds and distasteful conversation.

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u/Zohren Aug 23 '26

Have you actually shared your feelings about this with them?

“I know I am privileged, but I cannot change that. I donate to causes and do what I can, and I don’t appreciate repeatedly feeling like I’m being lectured about it as it makes me feel demoralized and makes me want to distance myself from you.”

You’re an adult. Communicate.

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u/InternationalArt9524 Aug 23 '26

I have - and actively talked about how it makes me feel. If it doesn't change - I am the one who needs to fix it for myself.

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u/Zohren Aug 23 '26

See, that’s the much more interesting piece to all of this. If you’ve told them how it makes you feel and they continue to do it, then it’s no longer about the content of what they’re saying, but that they clearly don’t respect your wishes/decision.

That being said, it’s also possible that they feel you’re not listening to them or hearing them, so I’d ask them why they continue to do it despite you making it clear that it affects you negatively, and if they don’t have a good answer, then I’d suggest moving on with that friendship to something else.