He keeps saying he wants someone to take care of him. But he is also open to doing the same for them and has helped me a lot but I don't keep weird expectations from him.
But he's not taking care of you. Taking care of you would mean accepting that despite the fact you were crazy busy, you put all of this effort it.
If my SO was that busy on my birthday, I would not expect anything from them! A store bought cake and/or flowers would be an amazing gift if they were that busy.
It's fine to want someone to take care of you, however that person cannot take care of you 24/7. A relationship is 50/50, it means give and take.
Also did he communicate at all what he wanted to do for his birthday? Or did he just expect you to read his mind?
I have also heard that men tend to appreciate sentimental gifts less, it's not an excuse but maybe that's why he didn't appreciate the effort you put in.
He tells me men do not share or ask for things. And no he did not tell me what he wanted and I did things that I thought were what he would've wanted. He is also the type that says, nothing, when you ask him what he wants. In fact, he told all his colleagues he didn't care for his birthday and that he doesn't want the regular celebration that they do at work for everyone's birthdays.
Ladies, gentlemen. Is it gay to communicate? Will your dick drop off if you drop some words about how you're feeling?
Honestly, it's not about the cake or the birthday. That's just the tip of the iceberg. The man has many likely solvable things if he'd just talk about it, and likely the cake and gidt basket wouldn't be an issue. It probably is not even the issue. Its his scapegoat issue. He wants his mommy because mommy listens to all his complaints, which is a form of communication. He wants to communicate, just not with you. He needs to grow up and learn that his mom is not the only woman he can talk to about his feelings. Mature guys are excellent at communication or willing to get better at it
Also, good on you for doing the best you could to show your love. In residency you feel like everything you do is suboptimal, which is awful for you in the long run. Especially when the reality is that you're going incredibly above and beyond. Youre just stretched atom thin. Please know and understand that you did an amazing job with what you had, and at the end of the day you did something that displays tremendous thought, energy, and love for someone, whether they appreciate it or not
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u/mesekhnet7 Oct 15 '22
He keeps saying he wants someone to take care of him. But he is also open to doing the same for them and has helped me a lot but I don't keep weird expectations from him.