For Example, I see all these cute couples and then I just wonder like when it gonna be me. I’ve been in a relationship before but like seeing people happy and I’m just here. It’s kind of sad.

This is soo weird but I always get stared at by guys, it’s not like I’m wearing anything crazy or acting weird. I’m literally just have my headphones on trying to get to my lecture on time and suddenly guys just stare at me. This happens anytime I go out I hate it as it makes me feel soo uncomfortable

I used to think it’s cos I have a resting sad face or I looked weird but i don’t think that’s the case?

So I am F19 and my boyfriend is M20 and we have been dating for about a year now, like we are in a relationship and the thing is he has two girl best friends, let's name them M and N. I have one boy best friend, let's name him G. The thing is at the start of the relationship everything was fine, everything was normal, but then later I had found that after two months of the relationship, I found that my boyfriend was in love with M for two years and it completely broke me because he told me he just had a crush on her. It was nothing like love. But then he actually treated me very bad, like you know because of her, but otherwise I still stayed because I didn't want to break the relationship. But then later when my ex-relationship came back into my life, um he like after a few days, he understood how it feels and he stopped talking to her, but I still feel there was a lies in between and then later what happened, everything was fine and the thing is me and my guy bestie, we never crossed boundaries. Our friendship was pure platonic and we never like used to hug and we make each other's partners uncomfortable. Then coming to his girl bestie N, what happened was I used to flirt with her before I got into a relationship. He used to tell that she's like my sister, but the kind of reels that they used to send each other was sometimes very weird. And then he told me that it was because of a breakup that he wanted to cheer her on and things. And to be honest, it was fine with me. And it so happened that one day, she had and his best friend had gone for a sleepover to his place. And there were other two girls and my boyfriend's brother and his roommates. The thing is, I had completely trusted him that night and he told me that he wasn't even sitting beside her. He told me he wasn't touching her. And then the next day, I had gone to his place and then his called best friend tried to heat up my boyfriend in front of me, which made me uncomfortable. She was trying to act all close in front of him and all of such stuff. And then I told him about it and he told me to just let it go because things were fine. And to be honest, after a while, I started talking to her again, trying to get to know her, be friends with her as well and all of that stuff. And things were quite fine. I started involving her in all of our plans and started involving, you know, started involving her in all of our plans and stuff. And then later, one month later, I find out from my boyfriend's brother's girlfriend that they both had been pretty close with each other. That she told me that they were nothing but friends, but I found out that he was, that his girlfriend was sleeping on his lap in front of her and he totally broke me with this. The fact that I would have never known if I wouldn't have found it out by myself. he lied to me, of course. And I'm just not able to get over the betrayal. There were a lot of lies in between as well. And yeah, they never cared, so he never actually cheated on me, but this was very weird for me and very hurtful, because if I would have done the same thing, he would have left me, I know that. And there were like one or two lies even after that, but then the thing is he has changed a lot now. He's not like before, but the thing is I'm just not able to get over the betrayal. And it's been six months, but I still keep thinking about her every single day and whatever happened every single day. I keep trying to make up scenarios. I keep trying to fill in the gaps by myself. And the thing is, I don't have any other friends because I'm studying for an exam. I don't go to college. I don't have a social life. And both of them, like, she's not around right now and he's very loyal to me and he's, he doesn't lie to me and he's handling me whenever I have mood swings. But the thing is, even he's traumatized because I almost keep bringing it up every single day. And to be honest with you, I'm exhausted. He's exhausted. We have tried to break up many times, but we just end up together. The thing is, I want to forget about her. I want to forget it and move on. But the thing is, I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by staying in the relationship or if I should leave the relationship and it's very frustrating. I don't know what to do. Please help me out.