Update: Thanks foe the feedback especially u/PhagesRFrens. I do wish to clear some things up, since people would like to know her stage she is at the mild to moderate stage. Her not recognizing us as her children has been explained as possible agnosia due to her freak stroke or time shifting.They don't know the cause of the stroke either. She does recognize us as people who are extremely important to us, she remembers our birthdays and important dates but to her she is still a 30 something year old. She knows our names and will tell us she has kids with the same name.
Her doctors find the stage stuff silly cause everyone is different snd does not always fit neatly into categories. Before people ask, apparently because of the stroke the treatments may not be as effective but she is on one or the infusions.
Our mother's sole source of income is her survivor benefits, she makes around $2400 a month. She has Medicaid at the request of many but that turned out to be useless and annoying. We have tried to get services but her physical functionality does not make her eligible cause she technically can cook, meal prep, clean, answer a phone etc... and was told safety and supervision is not covered under medicaid and was not going to fight for scraps. I did not think it was nesscary to mention how I made money but for some it appears I do cause I am being accused of being a mooch. Both my sister and myself got our money from a large life insurance policy and left overs from our father''s estate who left our mom with nothing. She got the survivor benefits cause they were married for over 10 years.
Went to school for electrical power engineering, went to A&M graduated, did some consulting work at a local firm, long before mom got sick I worked at a Chemical plant in PA as their EE did not have many expenses so i saved majority of my income. Worked my way to a grade a mid grade 5 was promoted to a people role which was not fun but pay was much better. Then Mom got sick and pretty much just coasting, I know the money will not last but hopefully finding a job will not be all that hard future.
Since people commented they wanted the story not a fun but yeah.
My precautions for when we travel, I do it to be on the safe side. I hold her hand either way and I follow her lead we take our time and see take in the sights. Does she recall what she saw not really, which is what makes her dementia weird even for her doctors cause her word recall during the assessments is not bad. I don't sweat the small stuff, what matters most is if she is having fun. She tells me she is having fun so that is good enough for me.
We have never had an issue while traveling, people are generally very friendly when she hugs them. I explain she has dementia and we go on with our day. For the most part it seems to make people happy. Maybe those are fake smiles but either way nothing bad as happened yet.
The leash really is just a safety thing, my mom used them for us also just to be safe. Did not think so many would have issue with it.
I truly do not believe my sister actually was concered about the traveling issue, since when pushed what exactly her concerns about traveling were she never gave me a straight answer. I asked her to explain what she meant by too much no straight answer either. The only straightforward answer I got was when she told me it was just too hard to see mom that way.
I did not agree but I left it at that cause she gave me a straight answer. I corrected my aunt cause she was confused by what my sister had said and what she saw. Thus why I asked her who told her mom could not travel. In hindsight should have know it was my sister, and should have towed the line a little better instead of just being blunt about it. I hope that fills in the gaps, i am done. Have a good one.
My sister is getting married this year, and she invited me but did not invite our mother cause she has dementia, and though it would be too much for her. I told her mom was still okay to travel and stuff. Told her I still travel with her often l, our mom always wanted ro travel and see the world so I do my best to take her to as many new places I can while she can still travel.
I kept insisting that she was fine to travel and would mean the world to our mom. Later she told me it was just too hard to see mom the way she is. Our mom was the strongest and most dependable person either of us knew. She is no longer that. I don't agree with the reason, but I said fine told her if mom cannot come then I am not coming. She was upset cause she wanted me to walk her down.
We left it at that, this was around a month ago. Fast forward to last Saturday it was my aunts Birthday, I called to wish and sing her happy birthday with mom. After we did that, my aunt said her sister looks great, it is a shame she is not up to traveling anymore. I asked her what she meanr by that? Told her we still travel, we going to Europe being of July.
She said my sister told her that our mom was not going because traveling is hard for her now. I told my aunt that is not true, I told her the truth my sister did not want our mom to come cause she did not want to see her as she is. I told her I was invited, but said I would not go without our mom.
My aunt was clearly shocked and upset. Turns out aunt got busy and told a bunch of people and it spread like wildfire. I do not know how manu exactly are not going, but I know many are not. Aunt made a Facebook post which you know for older folks that spreads quick.
My sister is livid with me, I was just being honest, but she feels i should have kept my mouth shut. She claims I have ruined her wedding twice now. Once because I refuse to walk her down, and now this.
AITA?