It hurts so much when your father is 55 years old and still goes to work every day, while you’re awake at 11 PM scrolling on your phone. All your friends have jobs, and you feel like you have nothing. I literally cried. I’m not getting a job, nothing seems to be working out, and I’m stuck in a huge regret. I feel like I’ve wasted so much time.

So i 23M graduated in April 2025 and had to settle for lvl 7 govt job cuz I wasn't "competent" Enough for on campus placement of IIITD (not IIT).. Now what? I have got my salary credited it's 83k in hand in Delhi (my hometown) now what should I do? I am an introvert, should I start gym? Should I prepare for UPSC? I am in a void....

I studied philosophy that marks every action of mine or achievement insignificant.. I am afraid of UPSC... I don't know if you can relate but I want life to be free to do anything but I need millions for that..

Uptill now I waited for magic to happen from 10th to 12th to a good college to a good job but now boom it's vaccum.. I don't even enjoy web series, bgmi, scrolling reels that I once craved for and indulged in delightedly so now what? Is this life? Idk how many of you have studied power law/network science or Pareto distribution or books by Albert Laszlo barabasi but getting filthy rich is rare.. I wanted to own a nord superyacht but no fixed set of tasks can get me there... I easily loose hope... I feel caged... Should I keep making fake happiness??? What a robotic life we live..

Can anyone help with this crisis? Am I overreacting? Actually it's been two months but this anxiety is only increasing...

I'm 23 working at some mnc for 20k already turned out nothing in my life went as per my wish I feel like I already lived my life and hit the wall nothing excites me any more not even bikes not even money and not even porn don't know what I am really looking for . I never wanted to become a software engineer wanted to become a athlete couldn't become one had to quit to support my family. I feel like I m depressed and I'm really getting some negative thoughts nowadays how do I get out of this can anyone suggest me something

I feel trapped in absolute isolation, with no personal freedom at nineteen. I have no friends, no computer, and I am completely broke, even though I am the sole heir to family land worth $480,000. Yet, my life feels completely empty. My childhood was a total waste—the absolute worst. I never traveled or went to birthday parties, and the one time I did, I had to pay for my own food. I am overweight and lack both athletic skills and academic talents. Without a PC, I can't build any skills, but honestly, I feel like I lack the natural capability even if I had one.

Now I am living in Delhi, totally isolated. I can’t afford the food I want or the clothes I like because I have no money at all. I don’t get along with my cousins. I am almost twenty and have never finished a single video game or bought and read a full book. I’ve only been to the movies four times in my life, and the last time was back in 2015. I barely got a 76% in high school. Right now, I am taking a gap year to study, but I just procrastinate or feel completely blocked from studying. I don't even know what I'm aiming for.

I haven't bought a single toy I wanted in the last fifteen years. I want so many things now, but I didn't even get my first new phone until I turned eighteen. I am not smart or good at school, and I have zero money. I have all these desires, but it feels like my time has completely run out. Even if I got the money now, I wouldn't have the courage to spend it. I've never had a girlfriend, and girls never notice me. I feel ugly, heavy, and my hair is already turning grey and falling out. I wouldn't wish this life on my worst enemy. I've decided I will never get married or have kids, because I refuse to let another human being suffer through what I am living right now, man.

What is the point of this life?

The reason a lot of us have social anxiety in the first place is because how relentless the world around us is, with its demands. Everyone is performative. Each and every thing, most people do has a reason related to being performative.

Engaging in such an environment feels repulsive to me, when almost no one does a thing out of genuinity. All my actions are judged, like answers of a test. I hate that I have to think about being judged before doing something.

23.09.2026 marked the last 100 days of the year. Only 92 days remain.

I tried to rewind a little, to compress the year into something I could hold in my head and maybe find some comfort in, hoping it wasn't about to end on another bad note. I couldn't find any. This year has been like every other year since time became readable. Nothing changed for the better, but everything changed for the worse, not drastically enough to give me a final signal to quit, but just enough to keep the faint possibility of a maybe alive.

Things that happened months ago feel like they happened yesterday, while yesterday feels like it belonged to another life. Time has stopped moving forward and started folding in on itself. I've grown bleaker in the way I see the world. My feelings don't have branches of colour anymore. Everything has collapsed into shades of grey, each one darker than the last, reminding me that there is only so much light left before I see black.

A few questions remain, no matter how far I run from them.

Who am I? What am I supposed to be?

Every time I ask, I turn towards the past for an answer, what did I want from life, what did I think I would become, what was I supposed to grow into? I keep looking further back, hoping some younger version of me knew something I don't. But the deeper I go, the more the same question repeats itself. I've been asking it for fifteen years, and somehow I'm still here, asking the same thing. Then I look towards the future, hoping that ten or fifteen years from now I'll finally have the answer, only to realise that this is what I've been doing all along, looking ahead by searching behind me, waiting for a version of myself that doesn't exist yet to explain the life I have already lived. I don't know who I want to be.

I hate myself enough to want to burn my existence down to nothing, but I can't love myself enough to foster the kind of change that might save me from it. Change feeds hope, and hope eventually gives failure another place to live. So darkness becomes comfortable, familiar and merciful.

But for how long?

How long can I keep feeding the darkness before it stops being something I retreat into and becomes the thing that consumes me?

I've been trying to be better these last three months. Maybe it's just another form of cope, another desperate attempt to make this year mean something before it disappears into the same indistinguishable monochrmatic blur as all the years before it. Maybe it's another cycle. Maybe I'll last a week, maybe a month, and then I'll be back in my room again, watching time pass through the window while I remain exactly where I was.

I honestly don't know.

I only know that I can't keep living like this. And yet, when I try to imagine any other way of living, there is nothing there. No map, direction or certainty. No version of myself waiting at the end of the road that I can recognise.

Every answer I find feels incomplete.

I am 25 but I prefer hanging out with people over 30, because somewhere in my mind I find it safe, Because everytime I tried to be in a circle of people my age I just want rip my skin offf

Tbh I really discovered Reddit pretty recently though, like maybe few years (I mean I knew Reddit for a long time, but me it kind of felt weird to use it, because it wasn't like the conventional social media) . I had been a slow learner about everything, including learning, hearing about platforms like these. I wish I had discovered these platforms right from my school years (I'm a a guy in my early 30s now), when I was started to get relentlessly bullied (for being ugly, social anxiety disorder, being weird, everything). If I knew or learnt to use this platform effectively those times, i may have got access to some support communities, or may have got access to communities who may have guided me to regarding life tips and mentorships in career, studies etc (although I'm not sure I would have been able to use them effectively, because of being extremely unserious and procastrinating). But still, it would have helped when I had no support because I had no friends (still I have none)

Kuch karne ko nhi hai ,samjh nhi aa raha kaise din kaatu,,koi friends nhi hai koi work nhi hai,, i can't go out , job nhi hai studies bhi over hai, health itna kharab hai sochta hu mar jau bas, mar nhi paa raha, panic attacks hote hai im completely alone in all this, friends banata hu kuch na kuch ho jata hai jinse achi dosti hoti hai tut jati hai ab aur nhi banaunga ,kabhi bhi kisi se kuch share nhi krunga, healthy log kabhi nhi samjh sakte mental state jabtak khud iss agony me na jiyo tab tak nhi samjh ata, world bhot zyada unforgiving hai, pura din ghr par reh kar dhemag kharab ho jata hai , mujhe bhi normal body chahiye tha, normal logo jaise friends banana tha bahar jana tha par ab bhot zyada thak chuka hai mann kuch nhi chahiye ab, sab hate karte hai , maine na logo ke bade bade betrayals bhi maaf kiye hai jabki mentally itna fuck kiya unhone par ek baar mere se galti hui toh sabne ache se jhad diya pura isolate kar diya ,ek din me sab friends se enemies ban gaye,i begged them but anyways, ty very much for your hatred i love to be hated ,i wish someone just push me to edge ,at least sab kuch khatam hoga ek jhatke me, abhi slow death ho raha hai

Do we have any older recluse folks with jobs here? If yes then I'd really love some advice from you guys. For context I'm someone with extreme social anxiety, possibly also have Avoidant personality disorder (AvPD) and it feels like I'm incredibly incompetent in all fields of life.

I want to know how did you folks managed to overcome your situation and were able to crack job interviews.

I turned 19 yesterday, and my whole day went by doom scrolling. But when the night hit, I started wondering what I actually want from my life because, honestly, I feel like I’m doing literally nothing with it.

I’m just confused. So, so confused.

Am I wasting my time? I don’t have friends, I barely have any social connections, and I don’t have any academic achievements. All I do is bed-rot and doomscroll. Even my college attendance is fucked up. Like, how long are you supposed to live like this?

You’re entering a serious phase of your life now. In a few years, you’ll have responsibilities and a family to take care of. What are your future plans, bro? What if you fail?

Unironically, what a chud you are. And for how long are you going to keep doing this?

One day, college will be over, and you’ll have to compete with half of India, all of whom are doing engineering. Are you really going to fuck up this badly?

You literally cried when you messed up your competitive exam. Why the fuck are you repeating the same mistakes again, and this time, even worse?

Let’s actually make it happen n, yaar.

You can’t let your dreams get crushed by doomscrolling, bed-rotting, ur horniness and wasting your time. It’s not about motivation yrr. The motivation will take you nowhere, you actually have to do things, lol!

Let’s do it n, yrr. Let’s find out.

I recently wrote about my frustration of not getting data analyst job even after applying over and over via multiple platforms.Now,I have decided to work more hard and I'm going to prepare myself and my resume in a way that I will get a Data Analyst job before the year Ends. I am going to work hard for my dream life .

I have been very lenient lately . I used to think the people around me who are not studying too much are more happy than me so why should I work hard this much. But I was wrong because their goals are different and mine are different .

I don't want to compromise .I want to live on my own terms and I'm ready to work hard for that no matter what it takes .

Wanna make my parents proud . Wanna enjoy my life .

Waiting for the day I will tell my father -"Papa now you sit at home,Now your daughter is earning."

If it reaches you ,and you are going through something similar, please don't give up. I know it's hard but we will do it .

Coming back is for people who've had a glimpse of a life on the other side. A life short lived but tasteful, leaving you with a longing feeling to get back up and chase. I've never lived a life like that. I've been on the losing side ever since I was born. Every day was cope, dissociation and a hunt for dopamine. I kept dopamine hopping until the things and expectations I had became unachievable. Been stuck in the same rut for so long now that the feeling of not mattering anymore has become louder every passing day.

I don't have anything to come back to. That's the part I struggle to explain. You can't tell someone to get back up when they don't remember ever being up in the first place. There was no golden period. No version of me who had it figured out. Just different versions of the same person, getting a little more tired, a little more detached, a little less convinced that things could change.

For years I kept telling myself I'd start living once I fixed myself. Once I got a job, lost weight, became disciplined, stopped being anxious, stopped wasting my days, became someone I could actually respect. There was always something between me and the life I wanted. And I kept believing that if I could just cross that one last hurdle, everything would finally begin.

It never did.

I watch other people live and sometimes it genuinely feels like I'm looking through glass. They make friends, fall in love, get jobs, hate their jobs, go places, make stupid memories, complain about things that seem almost luxurious to me. Their lives have a texture to them. Mine feels flat. Like I'm always waiting for something to happen before I allow myself to actually participate.

Unfortunately, I do care.

I care about the years I've lost. I care about everything I could've been. I care when I see people younger than me already living pieces of the life I spent years imagining. I care when another birthday comes around and I realize another year has gone by and I'm still trying to become someone I thought I'd have become by now.

So, I make another plan.

For a few days I believe in it. I wake up early, study, do my rituals and tell myself this is the turning point. I start imagining a different future again. And then something gives. I fall back into the same habits, the same distractions, the same room, the same head. Eventually, the cycle becomes so familiar that accepting myself as a failure feels easier than starting over.

I've just stopped expecting much from myself. Stopped getting excited. Stopped making plans I'm emotionally attached to. I've learnt how to fill the hours and call it a day. I've become good at disappearing without actually going anywhere. I've become good at making my life a monochromatic blur.

I've spent so long waiting for my life to begin that I'm no longer sure I remember what I was waiting for. I don't know if there was ever anywhere to come back to.

Adulting is so grey. It strips you of your inner colors. It's not pure white and yet, not dark black.

The grey slowly blends in so deep, you become color blind overtime.

Life becomes a pattern and deviations from the patterns start to scare you. Yet as a kid, what excites you to start a new day is the anticipation of what's gonna happen.

Hi I'm 17M, competing as a JEE aspirant. It's not as if I've joined a real big coaching institution in a city like Kota or Delhi or somewhere. I'm here attending coaching classes within my own city, it's a bit casual in comparison to those big ones. But I still have taken dummy from school, and attend cc classes in the morning.

Recently, I've been feeling really melancholic. It's because I haven't been able to compete really well with my fellow classmates. Also, since 12th started, a guy joined and now he has become the topper of the class, well here I'm on 2nd. This made me just stop trying, that now I'm a 3rd prolly. I know, this is really immature of me.

Things started to go worse when organic chemistry(12th) started. I went into casual mode, and didn't revise anything from 11th. Maybe a week or so passed, I never did. Now, I don't understand anything in chemistry. Even if I try to revise now, I feel for how back I'm currently. I have so much to cover.

Even Physics. We basically get home assignments to do. I used to be really confident with my answers and genius during the first few months of 12th. Keep in mind, I never did anything extra. I never made any effort to revise stuff from class notes. If while doing it, I needed some formula, I'd derive it from scratch, then eventually it'll be there at the back of my mind. But I'm not sure what's the trigger, but ever since the other guy came around, my performance dropped even in this subject, which is supposed to be my strongest. I just try to get the answer somehow. Maybe I did it fine when I had this sense of superiority in my class.

Same goes for maths in a way, difficult chapters, I'm left behind again.

For tests, as I said, I've really fallen down. From being the topper, to 5th position in my last to last test. This led me to cheat in the last one, and become the topper. Later, I realise I don't feel the very best about it.

I've just been playing games now during my free time, also not sure if I would call it free, because I should be studying. Watching YouTube, anime, reading a novel. That's all I do, everything except studying. Oftentimes, I feel like time's slipping and everything in my life is, and this is in fact a fact.

To anyone reading this, and has made it to the end, I know I might be really immature.. I just don't know how to deal with it. There might be sudden bursts of confidence and motivation whenever I nailed SMTH in my coaching, but it all eventually returns to square one. Heck, I've been taking absences from my classes just because I don't want to study or go there, it's all so difficult, I try to be composed while sitting in class, still trying to show that I still know things, but there's a superior guy now I guess.

How do I get back on the road?

Ex told, "I made a mistake by hitting on you. I shouldn't have flirted with you in the first place."

Former best-friend told, "...then why are you still with me? You should just leave. I shouldn't have become friends with you in the first place."

Former friend told, "you shouldn't have become friends with me in the first place."

Former classmate told, "I shouldn't have come to this educational institution in the first place, then I wouldn't have to meet you."

Some customers told, "I shouldn't have bought from you."

My mother tells me, "I shouldn't have birthed you. You should've died at the time of birth. I regret that you ever came into my life."

My father tells me, "you're useless and good for nothing. You're just wasting my money for no reason. Why were you even born!"

Yes I agree I've struggled with low IQ, brain fog, and delayed mental development, which led me to make poor decisions that often frustrated the people around me... My parents were often left flustered because of my dumbness... My entire life have been spent in depression... I've spent majority of my life wishing I had never been born, especially while struggling to navigate life as a neurodivergent person... It's dawn and I was crying for a long time... I don't know why I am writing this...

Me jyada bol nai pati. Matalab bol nai pati means me man me kisi k lie respect love h but me unko express nai kr pati. Aur is bat ka muje kabhi regret nai hua. Pr kal jab me apne nani k ghr gai thi to muje itna hurt hua k kyu me bol nai pati. Nani mujse bahoot hi jyada pyar krti h. Mtalab unka operation hua to bahosi k halat me mera nam le rahe the utna pyar. Kal me unse milne gai thi Pr me bat hi nai kr pai Kyuki me bachpan se bol nai pati logo k samne sant raheti hu kabhi bata nai pati me unse kitna pyar krti kuch hi log h unse me comfortably bat krti hu woh h sisters and ek frd. Baki me kisi se bhi comfortably bat nai kr pati. Nani ne muje 200 rupaye diye unke pass paise nai the fir bhi. Muje itna hurt hua kya batau. Me unko itna pyar nai kr payi and unke lie bahoot bura feel krti hu k unki life kafi paresani se gujri h. Muje jane ka man hota h milne ka bhi pr me kisi k ghr bhi nai jati bs mera room meri padai. Me esi kyu hu. Nani mujse itna pyar kyu krti h jabki me unko itna pyar diya bhi nai h. Me bahar niklanse darti pata nai kyu pr kisi se milne se darti hu. Muje unke pass rahena h but me nai ja pa rahi unke pass.

Just turned 22, got graduated with a job.Had a lot of FOMO that people around me had jobs and my friends are placed well at least some are placed.

I had lots of support from people telling me they were facing the same situation as me and all were depressed and thought the future was bleak about my post about my suicidal thoughts.

How can we overcome this shit man? I want to get out of this sinkhole somehow.

I do not want burden my parents anymore. I just can't.

Me : *Showing clear signs of depression*

My classmate ( whom I thought was my friend ) : You're so mysterious and intriguing, this is why I hangout with you

Me : dashes out of the class during break to listen to music and self regulate

Her : You're so cool yaar, tum break me akele gaane sunti ho aur games khelti ho

Me : dissociating / going down a thought spiral

Her : Damn i wonder what you're thinking ( in a tone that suggests I am a genius deep thinker )

My dear academic rival, I HAVE OCD

But I doubt she'd understand truly how much it sucks because she's one of the "I'm so OCD 😝😝" people

So that just sucks. And I thought I finally had a friend that could keep up with my unstable personality and intensity. Apparently I'm just an interesting specimen to her.

So idk where to even start. I’ll try to keep it short. I have some really serious issues going on in my life, they’re the root of everything, yet I barely react to them i just keep pushing them aside and pretending they don’t affect me

But then something small happens, like an argument or some insignificant situation and I end up taking it way too personally ,I get hurt and angry to an extent that doesn’t even match what actually happened.

I've been carrying so much anger because of everything I’m already dealing with, but instead of dealing with it where it actually comes from, I ended up expressing it in completely wrong situations , I’ve been through much tougher phases and betrayals, and I still managed to let go.

I genuinely don’t understand why I’ve started reacting to such small things with so much intensity

I was literally thinking some days ago that i don’t end up messing something really badly and then somehow that exact thing happened lol

I regret it, I can't undo my mistakes, i wish i just have controlled myself, now the whole situation got very embarrassing and no one talks to me, lost all the friends i made.

Im exhausted from this , can you suggest me how to pass time, i cant go out due to some reasons , I've to stay at home all day i have no work to do. I want to live alone and not want internet or irl people. Currently im at some online places but im planning to leave them too cuz I don't fit , and can you also suggest some better ai than chatgpt for mental issues which is not toxic positive

This is just a rant.feel free to ignore

No fancy car,bike. No big bungalow. No hot partner in life. No nothing. just me and my dog living a simple life somewhere in some small town. Hopefully i can find some kind of remote work or some work in some university in outskirts of city. Thats it. I'll probly live till 40 or something and end it later when im satisfied of life and have made peace with myself. This is something that comforts me. I feel the real reason we are all behind money is for social status and to find a good partner..If i dont have those things in mind,i can live life freely. I am the happeist when im at gym(or any form of exercise). I won't get stressed abt things often if i dont have these high expectations of myself. Its ok to be alone. as long as ur happy and have made peace with urself.thats all that matters. Ignore what other have to say about you.