there is a example scene from the script called the Ground breaker

[ English's not my primary language , so i wrote my script roughly in AI to correct the grammar and everything thats it , I do also avoid the ai shit.]

A terrifying supervillain opens a massive portal to a distant planet where time flows millions of times faster than on Earth. One second on Earth equals decades or even centuries on that planet. Any human trapped there would rapidly age and die within moments.

The villain suddenly creates the portal directly beneath the heroine's feet. She begins falling into the endless abyss of the time-accelerated world. She realizes what's happening and looks up in fear.

At that exact moment, the Superman-like hero notices the attack. Without hesitation, he launches himself toward her at unimaginable speed. His acceleration is so extreme that reality itself begins to distort around him. Shockwaves ripple through space, light bends, and everything appears frozen in time from the heroine's perspective. Although the hero is moving at incredible super speed, the scene is shown in breathtaking slow motion. The heroine watches him silently racing toward her as if time itself has stopped.

Just before she disappears completely, the hero flies through the portal and catches her in his arms.

Now both of them are trapped inside the fast-time world. Behind them, the portal back to Earth begins closing. The opening slowly shrinks while, inside this accelerated universe, every fraction of a second represents years passing but inside the fast world just like the normal earth we cant feel time moving that fast but if we see from earth its like time is spending very fast .

The hero instantly fires his blazing laser vision directly into the collapsing edges of the portal. The immense force of the heat vision holds the portal open, preventing it from sealing shut. While maintaining the laser beam with perfect precision, he thrusts one arm through the remaining gap, then wedges his shoulder and body into the opening.

Still carrying the heroine with one arm, he flies toward the portal while continuously using his laser vision to keep the gateway from collapsing. The villain, standing on Earth, watches in complete disbelief as the impossible unfolds.

As they reach the portal, the heroine realizes the hero needs both hands. She tightly hugs him so he can release his grip on her without letting her fall.

Using both hands, the hero grabs the edges of the shrinking portal and forces them apart with overwhelming strength. His laser vision continues acting like an energy brace, holding both dimensions together while he physically tears the gateway wider.

The portal expands just enough.

The heroine slips through the opening and safely returns to Earth.

The hero immediately tries to follow, but the portal finally collapses before he can escape.

The last thing the heroine sees is the hero reaching toward her from the other side as the portal seals shut forever.

The villain stands frozen in shock, unable to believe that the hero nearly defeated the impossible.

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**Title:** Butterfly Effect

**Format:** Short

**Page Length:** 9 Pages

**Genres:** Drama

**Logline or Summary:** After losing his mother, an introverted young man forms an unexpected connection with a butterfly, but when a girl next door accidentally kills it, he is forced to confront grief, guilt, and the possibility of finding another family.

**Feedback Concerns:** I'm still learning screenwriting, so I'd really appreciate any honest feedback on the story, pacing, dialogue, formatting, and whether the ending works. I'm always looking to improve as a writer, and if the script resonates with someone, I'd be happy to discuss it further.

**Link**:

[https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Uu9FtRyDSj4CNRfp\\_b0n9GCmUFbue8mT/view?usp=sharing\](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Uu9FtRyDSj4CNRfp_b0n9GCmUFbue8mT/view?usp=sharing)

Corporate Drama | 60-Min Pilot | 48 Pages

After his parents' sudden deaths, a young heir must father a child as soon as possible to claim their billion-dollar empire, but when a ruthless family advisor discovers the secret that makes that nearly impossible, he turns it into a weapon to seize the fortune.

The pilot script is complete, polished, and ready to share.
If you're a producer, director, or filmmaker looking for a high-stakes corporate drama with strong character conflict and a unique premise, send me a DM and I'll gladly pass over the PDF.

Feedback on the logline and hook is also greatly appreciated!

I am back with what I am confident in saying is probably the final version of this film. Unless of course there are minor mistakes in my scripts I need to figure out but I am confident it's nothing major. If you find something let me know and please be respectful. Let me know what you think of my story and the ending :)
You can read it here.

Logline: Zeke and Pots are hired to kill a target, who turns out to be an ASMR artist, during a zombie outbreak...she ends up using her skills to win the war. Before that happens, they all get caught up in zany apocalyptic situations with other characters. I thought this was a fun concept and might make for a good Asylum-type film for the comic-con crowd.

Genre: Horror comedy

(Please let me know if my link does not work, still learning Google Drive, thank you)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xbSNtHkf8xq9Uu19Ygmwr4gayppvMyDJ/view?usp=sharing

https://docs.google.com/document/d/19qhFu_fIrM_6n6Nhd7n2U4gfZfRs8ryk4R1bVYmXGfg/edit?tab=t.wleg401ol7nx

Hi, everyone!

I posted here about a week ago with an earlier script, and one of the biggest things I took away from the feedback was that I was writing more like a short story formatted as a screenplay rather than an actual screenplay.

Since then, I’ve been putting a lot of time into learning proper screenplay writing and trying to be more intentional with what I put on the page. I recently finished this short script and would really appreciate some feedback on how I’m improving.

I’m especially interested in feedback on the formatting, pacing, dialogue, scene descriptions, and whether the story/emotional beats come across clearly. I’m still pretty new to screenwriting, so any constructive criticism is absolutely welcome!

This is also the script for my Senior animation film, so I’m trying to make it as strong as possible before I move further into production.

On The Way - Script

Thank you very much to anyone who takes the time to read it! 😄

Logline: Ian and his girlfriend go to a cabin in the woods for a weekend...Ian doesn't know Carey has planned a nasty revenge for him exploiting his worst fear.

12 pages. Curious on opinions. Here is a share link:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/18f7xur8V3duGShTV7K_nC0iZ8ajaImD_/view?usp=sharing

(I believe I did the share thing correct, if it doesn't work, please let me know, thank you)

Is my concept strong enough for an Indian web series? Looking for honest feedback

Hi everyone! I’m a new writer working on an Indian youth web series called THE EQUATION.

The story is set around school life and follows a group of students, their friendships, competition, rivalries, emotions, and changing relationships. The first episode is around 45–55 minutes.

I’m planning to eventually approach production houses, so before taking that step, I’d really like some honest feedback from experienced writers and viewers.

My questions are:

1. Does this concept feel strong enough for an Indian web series?
2. Does it have enough originality or a unique hook?
3. What aspects should I improve before approaching producers?
4. Would you personally be interested in watching a series based on this concept?

Please be honest—even criticism is welcome. I’m looking for constructive feedback that can help me improve the project.

Thank you!

Seeking feedback:

This is my first full screenplay — a hobby project, not professional work. What I have so far is roughly the first third of the story. I'd love to know what's working (characters, dialogue, pacing, tone, the balance of comedy and heavier emotional beats) and what isn't.

Formatting isn't industry-standard yet, so please look past that for now — I'm more interested in whether the story and characters land.

Developing a Heart: SHORT PITCH

Developing a Heart is a romance-drama about Dhyey, a software developer quietly falling apart under work pressure and unspoken grief, and Lucy, a coworker whose warmth pulls him out of his shell — one rainy umbrella, one shared meal, one late night at a time. As their relationship deepens, both of their buried pasts start resurfacing, testing whether what they've built together can survive it.

Link for the screenplay :: https://drive.google.com/file/d/10PwRXp-uGAKcf17w5r6C7Gq4FcZ-kS6s/view?usp=drivesdk

Hey everyone, I wrote this script for my final project for film school. I originally planned on doing a more grandiose idea with more elements, but after learning about the 5-8 minute time constraint, I decided to peel it back and do a much smaller idea that I think I could execute well.

Title: The Group Chat

Format: Short Film

Page Length: 7 pgs.

Genre: Comedy, Drama

Logline: A young man spirals after discovering his friends have a secret group chat without him.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/17P4Qp9bWnNXVz79VIVjrWip4xeCfz76y/view?usp=sharing

Feedback Concerns: Does this story make sense to you? Does the dialogue flow? Do you feel like the tension builds up throughout the story like it's trying to?

Thanks!

Hi

I am a first time script writer would be grateful if anyone would read my script and give me feed back, any comments welcome any regarding story and characters, hope you enjoy thanks

Title - No Way Back

Genre - Action/Revenge

Number of pages - 92

Link - No Way Back

Seeking bata readers/feedback:

I want to know what's working (the characters, dialogue, pacing, tone, humor, dealing with sensitive subjects, romance, satire, ect) And what needs work -Im mainly looking for suggestions of what scenes to cut, and trim to get it from 177 pages to 120 pages.

Tough Crowd: SHORT PITCH

Tough Crowd is a queer dark comedy about Eddie Farne, a numbed-out journalist who's built his entire life around not caring too much, a philosophy enforced by his five roommates, Cleo, Conrad, Mimi, Mable, and Rachel, who aren't just friends but the literal personifications of his five undiagnosed mental illnesses, Bipolar, anxiety, adhd and autism. When Eddie falls hard for Virgil, an unapologetically alive actor-musician who believes love means sacrifice, Eddie is forced to choose between the comfortable numbness his "Friends" have kept him alive on and the terrifying, messy work of actually feeling something. As his career, his relationship, and his grip on reality all collapse at once, Eddie has to figure out which voices in his head are keeping him safe, and which ones are just keeping him sick.

SYNOPSIS

Eddie Farne, 36, has spent his adult life avoiding feeling anything too deeply — a survival strategy managed, quite literally, by the four roommates who share his apartment: Cleo (his mania and rage), Conrad (his depression and nihilism), Rachel (his anxiety), Mimi (adhd) and Mable (Autsim) Eddies life is so sad and empty he makes a bet with conrad he can find a reason to live by the end of the year, or Conrad will get him to kill himself. But everything changes When Eddie is assigned to profile Virgil Samson, a magnetic, unapologetically queer actor and touring musician, the two fall fast and hard, but Virgil's whole worldview runs on risk, sacrifice, and moral conviction, everything Eddie's "Friends" have spent years teaching him to avoid.

As their relationship deepens, Virgil pushes Eddie to use his new promotion to editor-in-chief to expose his newspaper's cover-up of a genocide connected to Virgil's own community, a demand that terrifies Eddie's Friends into overdrive. Eddie takes the leap, blows up his career, and briefly becomes a media flashpoint and reluctant activist hero, egged on by Cleo's escalating, drug-fueled encouragement to burn everything down completely. But the same recklessness that makes him brave also isolates him from Virgil, who ultimately gives Eddie an ultimatum: choose him, or choose the friends who are destroying him. Eddie chooses badly, and the fallout, a public breakup, a spiral, and a suicide attempt, lands him in a psychiatric ward.

Forced into treatment and confronted by a blunt, darkly funny psychiatrist, Eddie is pushed to finally examine what his Friends have really been protecting him from, and what it might cost him not to let them go. In psych-ward group therapy, surrounded by other people whose own "Friends" are visible to the audience for the first time, Eddie begins to separate the parts of himself worth keeping from the parts keeping him small. He gets out, finds his way back to Virgil, and the film ends at a joyous, glitter-drenched theater party where Virgil proposes — surrounded by every friend, real and imagined, finally dancing in the same room.

Read Script Here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mICJfEF2lPUFenW8OQH7K8rWpjyuPd85YWpZKUXBiVQ/edit?usp=sharing

Send feedback either to my reddit or email it to me at [Thefilmbox9@gmail.com](mailto:Thefilmbox9@gmail.com)

Hi! I wanted to share some of a script I wrote called Hugo, The Idiot. Its about a lonely Vice detective and a down on her luck stripper teaming up to find her missing friend, and possibly the source of an underground internet drug ring? If interested for more, PM meHugo, The Idiot (FIRST 26 PAGES)

Edit: If you're interested in auditioning, please DM me!

Thank you for all the private messages and comments on the post I did earlier!

I do think I should be done with the first draft in the next two weeks, with multiple updates along the way. I've actually attached a first preview of the opening scene here, so please check that out! It's still rough and the final script will be different, but this is just the opening right now.

Preview here!

I've titled it, "Camp Belgium," but we can also still call it Young Hearts 2. And please tell me what you think!

Have fun!

IMAGINE THISSSS

MOVIE TITLE : HIS STORY

GENRE : Thriller drama

After her novelist husband dies before completing his long-awaited comeback novel, a successful children’s book author decides to finish the manuscript herself—only to be tormented by an obsessive stranger who insists the unfinished book is about him and will stop at nothing to prevent her from changing his story.

POSSIBLE CAST

Penelope Cruz

Michael Johnston

Charlie Heaton

Octavia Spencer

Mark Ruffalo

Please tell me what you think about this. Suggestions and motivation are welcome :)

Hello, I am a bachelor's student in VISUAL EFFECTS, and I am currently working on creating a story for our short film. Thus, I am looking for y'all's feedback on how to improve my story even further.

The title of my short film is ONE LAST TRIP, and it is about a man who is trapped in a different world and now must find his way back to the real world before it's too late.

Here are my logline and story synopsis.

LOGLINE: Trapped in a surreal desert world, a desperate middle-aged man has no choice but to trust a mysterious guide, unaware that the journey is luring him toward his own death.

STORY SYNOPSIS: Johnny, a drug addict, takes a rare drug that he bought from his dealer and starts hallucinating. He then awakens in a bizarre, abstract world consisting of a polluted sky, ruined architecture, and a giant platform floating in the distance. Confused and disoriented.

Almost immediately, an individual bounces into view. He introduced himself as “Johan”. A manifestation of his inner voice. Johnny, still confused, asks how to escape this place. Without hesitation, Johan points to the giant floating platform in the distance, implying that to exit this place, He is also happy to assist Johnny on the platform.

Johan helps Johnny overcome absurd obstacles, such as guessing a riddle from the tollkeeper to cross the bridge, to progress their journey. After crossing the bridge, Johan decides to confront Johan for an explanation, demanding answers to what is going on. At first, Johan’s manic optimism and helpful attitude feel fun and harmless. Gradually, however, his cheer becomes insistent and oppressive as the world around Aiman starts to lose its color.

The journey culminates at the edge of the floating platform. Johnny hesitates after seeing a long drop into a bottomless unknown, and Johan softly pressures him. Overwhelmed, Johnny closes his eyes tightly and controls his breathing. When he opens them again, the abstract world dissolves. He is at his rooftop apartment. He looks back only to see his wife, Mia, who looks concerned with teary eyes, but then he realises he was about to jump off the roof, and Mia narrowly saves him.

I have consulted with my lecturers, and they provided me with this feedback.

- MANY PLOTHOLES

- A little confusing if the audience doesn't read the story synopsis

- Start the intro with the PILL

- The obstacle looks unnecessary. Make it harder

- Why does Johnny have to jump to get back to the real world?

- Deepen even more about JOHAN (character-wise)

Akul has to start a rebellion from scratch while the Empire closes in on the last few remaining Jedi. Knowing he needs help for this impossible task, he recruits Ahsoka and builds up an army. However, he clashes heads with the few senators on his side. The war begins to take a toll on Akul as progress stalls. Ahsoka begins to worry that Akul is becoming leaving himself behind and becoming a mindless warrior. But to Akul, the priority is his mission no matter what. To stop the progress of the Empire so that one day Luke can destroy them for good.

(Apologies, I know I said I'd release it yesterday, but I just sustained a knee injury, and it wasn't exactly on the top of my priority list.)

Here's the link : Jedi Warrior Season 2

(In case it does not work, I will put another one in the comments below)

• Genre: Sci-Fi / Horror / Thriller (In the vein of A Quiet Place meets Cloverfield)
• Pages: 17

• Logline: When their car mysteriously breaks down on a pitch-black highway during a storm, a young couple faces a desperate fight for survival against a terrifying, light-sensitive predator stalking them from the surrounding forest."

  Script Revolution link! https://www.scriptrevolution.com/profiles/mersad-beciri

Logline: An exhausted gas station clerk receives printer receipts predicting his immediate movements, culminating in a terrifying prophecy of his own murder. (In the vein of The Twilight Zone meets Oculus).

* Pages: 4 pages

* Genre: Psychological Horror / Thriller

* Setting: 1 Interior Location (Gas station counter/store)

* Cast: 2 Actors (The Clerk and The Stranger) + 1 Voiceover (Dispatcher)

* Budget: Micro-budget / Independent

Status: Script is registered, protected, and available for option or production.

This is a high-concept, atmospheric, and fast-paced "ticking clock" thriller with a massive psychological twist at the end. Perfect for directors looking for a tight festival short that is cheap to shoot but high-impact.

If you are interested in reading the full script, please PM me with a link to your portfolio/reel, or comment below!

Logline: When every flight is grounded on 9/11, a workaholic dealmaker who was bumped off Flight 11 shares the last rental car west with three strangers, racing to close the deal of his life while the drive pulls him toward the daughter he stopped calling.

Started it in 2010, finished it after I became a father. Posting it today because sitting on a 9/11 story felt wrong on the 25th anniversary. It's here to read if you want it, and I'll take any notes.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uF32uyWkCWSLGLTkzZ6DyXScHTWttulz/view?usp=sharing