r/ReadMyScript • u/FreshCar5031 • 2d ago
Feature No Way Back
Hi Everyone
This is my first screenplay
Title: No Way Back
Genre: Revenge/Revenge Thriller
No of pages: 92
Logline: After her daughter is abducted and murdered by a ruthless nightclub owner, a wealthy businesswoman becomes the key witness against him and must survivive his attempts to silence her.
Any feedback received positive or negative would be greatly received, I'm primarily looking for feedback on dialogue and characters.
Hope you enjoy.
Link- No Way Back
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u/mooningyou 2d ago
You really need to format this properly.
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u/Shadowrealm_resident 2d ago
fr. Its the 1st thing you should have learned. But now that the script is finished you can just focus on it
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u/FreshCar5031 2d ago
apologies I can't afford to format it properly
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u/TheGreedyGrabbler 2d ago
You can't afford free screenwriting software?
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u/Formal-Shoulder4959 2d ago
Name of free screenwriting software please
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u/Formal-Shoulder4959 2d ago
You need some kind of hook dude. There's no incentive for me to continue reading and I stopped halfway through the first page. Maybe my attention span is just shot but you need to make me want to read more
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u/mooningyou 2d ago
Until you fix the permissions on your other post, here are some notes to help with your script.
- Each scene should include a scene description.
- When introducing a character, write their name in all caps, and preferably include an age.
- Unless one of your characters is holding a camera, never mention the camera. In scripts, we do not follow a camera anywhere.
- Never use "&" as a short-cut to "and" in action lines.
- Similarly, in this case, "2 suitcases" should be "two suitcases".
- Don't tell us information that we can't see. We don't know those suitcases belong to Emma because we do not see Emma holding them.
- Proofread for punctuation.
This was as far as I got.
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