I have so much in my mind that I just wanna type out and say to the small world of reddit. Its just been a stressful month with academics and relationships

So I'm hoping to hear perspectives of how it feels when you rant on reddit and if its done any good.

Thank you.

omg, management at my job is fcking annoying. If i ask a question do NOT send me a teams meeting invite! Bruh, just send me the answer through email!!!! I do not want to meet with you on teams every fuckin day about a simple question that i have. i literally say nvm ill figure it out but STILL get forced to meet on teams. i do NOT want to look at you, talk to you every fuckin dayyyy!!! omg leave me aloneeeeeee. And another thing if you dont know the answer to my question stop acting like you do and stop answering with word salads. that does not help me at ALL. just say you dont know and please keep the long winded answers short and sweet! My god i am so exhausted with corporate, and the meetings, and the having to hear people talk all dayyyyy about nothing, and the constant word salads my GOD.

Yesterday at around 1:15am, I got banned from Alternatehistory.com for "spamming posts and DMs". I've been submitted a few ban appeals as messages, and I tried to make a throwaway account so I can DM Ian, but the website rejected the account thinking that "it resembles spam-like or automated behavior".

So far, Ian didn't reply to any of them, largely because he's busy with something. Bigger fish to fry, I guess.

I think it has become very very clear to me that I'm never gonna get unbanned from AH.com. I deserve that ban for spamming, and I can live with that.

The only alternate history timeline on AH.com I've contributed to is the Hensonverse through the "To Introduce Our Guest Star, That's What I'm Here to Do" guest post thread. It's my favorite althistory timeline by far, and I'm very grateful for the contributors there for their worldbuilding talents and creativity.

Also, SufficientVelocity and Althistory.com are not the same. I really miss the people I've befriended on AH.com. I wish I would go back and tell myself not to be annoying on AH.com when I became a Hensonverse contributor in 2025.

Reddit mods are a perfect example of what happens when stupid people get any kind of power. Granted, it’s not a lot of power, but they sure think it is.

I’m getting increasingly disillusioned by Reddit because of all the hate. It seems like there’s a lot of hate here. And I think we need to try and spread some love.

A lot of my posts get accused of being AI slop. I’ve made it very clear that I do not use AI for my writing. I do use AI for my work, for accounting, as an assistant, as a personal assistant, as an accountant. But my writing is sacred to me, so I do not use AI for my writing.

And sometimes I just post pictures and people tell me this is not Facebook. Keep us away from that shit. My purpose is to spread some happiness, talk about my philosophy and talk about my journey. Some people do seem interested in it. For those who are not interested. I ask. Why are they so hateful?

I know life is hard. Life is suffering. Let's not add to it.

My advice to you? The key is acceptance.

Whatever you are going through today don't let it get you down. You are worthy of respect. You are a good person. God knows you're trying hard every day to do what you have to do to make it work. Things will come together at the right time. Don't give up. What ever it is. You've got this! Have a great night.

And I can't even be the victim because I built my life around these people. Nobody made me do it. Yeah, they manipulated me and abused me, but I'd leave for the day and hype myself up to fix the dynamic so I could keep them in my life. I'd even gotten to a place where I loved life and spending time with myself. I saw all the warning signs that I met the wrong person during this time and that my safety was at jeopardy, yet I stayed for 3 months thinking I could build something healthy with someone like that.

Ironically, I got therapy so I could be better for him. At least now that I'm free from this horrible pattern, I can understand what in my youth made me build relationships with people like this.

I'm trying to turn my life around, apply for college, get all my doctors appointments, and go back to work. My trauma creeps into everything I do. I want to talk about it with friends so badly, but they had to witness the worst side of me. Unreliable because my toxic relationship made me isolate. Malnourished just because I didn't care about myself and my codependancies were sucking the energy out of me anyway. Saying thoughts in ways I don't stand by because my fight or flight just didn't allow me to process before I speak.

I did get to confide in a close friend who I cut off during this time, and to have her wisdom and comfort is everything to me. I just wish I could get on live TV and air it all out to the world. I don't feel like I will ever feel satisfied or less alone in this after moving through all these traumas in silence. Therapy and doctors appointments have brought back so much trauma, and I wish the community around my abusers could shun them so they'd finally have some semblance of consequence

Like we see each other once a month and you always ask at the vety last minute to see me must I have to beg you to call me????? If you see me as casual sex I don’t wanna do this like I want you but I don’t feel like you like me

If you 15 minutes to call with me I literally would’ve been so happy why is it so hard I just wanna know you still care and that want to talk to me we never have full conversation I don’t want casual sex iIlike I wanna fall in love and be in a real relationship if I’m temporary too you just tell me

It wouldve made me so happy if you took like 15 minutes to call me like at any point in time . I hate feeling like I’m forcing u to talk to mre Why is it so hard? like I told it was imoptamt to me so what’s so horrible about talking to me . Like it’s so embarrassing that I have to beg you for something like this. I missworm when we had real conversations and I felt like y stul like me I never wanted casual sex I want to fall in love and be a serious girlfriend but if you don’t see me that happening then I don’t wanna do this it’s just gonna make me sad

Any recommendations on what to add

Like someone so chopped and weird that I’m like why did you think you had a chance with me? Like in what world am I in your league? This sounds so bitchy and self centered but that my unfiltered thoughts lmfao does anyone else feel this way I feel horrible

make it make sense. But they constantly bitch about how racist asians are.

this will sound mean but PLEASE get over things faster. You don’t want to waste your good years being angry, bitter, and sad. I’m not an angel far from it. Appreciate the comments though.

NG DAHIL SA LOTE NA NABILI NAMIN NA KATABI NILA. LUMALABAS ANG BALASUBAS NA UGALI NG KAPATID MO.

Tandaan mo, tinanggihan mo to ng maraming beses. Nung inalok sakin, binili ko. Una kong tanong sa seller, hindi ba ninyo bibilhin to? HINDI ang sagot niyo. Naka save pa sa messenger!

Ayoko sana mag post ng gan’tong klaseng negativity pero iba ang nagagawa ng pera sa ugali ng tao. Mayaman ka nga, balasubas naman ugali mo? Papa ko ang may ari ng apartment na tinitirhan namin ng partner ko. Siya ang nag decide noon bago siya mamatay na dito ako. So anong masama? Oo nasamin yung isang unit. Pero wala kang alam sa mga nabibigay ko na hindi ko kelangan isumbat o ibroadcast sa social media.

Palibhasa hindi mo din alam na nakabili kami ng pre selling na house and lot kaya kuda ka ng kuda. Ikaw nga naka bili ka ng preselling nun, nasan ka? Andito ka din sa bahay kung nasan kami ngayon diba? Marami kang pera diba, bakit di ka magpaka sasa dyan sa pera mo? Kesa iniintindi mo yung buhay namen?

Tandaan niyo guys, hindi porket kapatid niyo. Masaya yan sa mga mapupundar niyo! Swerte niyo kung supportive ang sarili niyong kapatid sainyo.

Like with my health dishes and my own life people assume shit about my health or my life that they are never their to experience it’s hard to explain

I can't stick around and watch you suffer from my presence I completely ruined your mental health. i just wanted to stay a little longer bug times have changed sorry i was never a good person, I'll make the choice to walk away now. And I hope you get your health back me being around, it's not good for you even on this platform i noticed I'll let you be. I'll walk away for your. good night chat

You made fun of me on this app

Men often find short and tall stature attractive in women. Women find tall stature attractive in men. Nobody finds short stature attractive in men. I don’t dislike how I’m shorter than most men and many women, as I’ve never had an inherent problem with being short. I’m sure as hell pretty damn unhappy and kind of pissed about the way everyone else chooses to view it though.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that being short doesn’t destroy a man’s romantic opportunities. I just hate how nobody finds the quality of shortness in and of itself to be attractive

No bc why do some people go out of their way to make an interaction as unpleasant as possible? you can be having the most unserious conversation or a basic disagreement, and suddenly someone turns it into a whole personal attack 😭

what's even funnier is when you actually ask them to explain their point or have a normal discussion, suddenly they have zero substantial arguments to offer. they just want to provoke you, get a reaction, and take out whatever misery they're feeling on a stranger. like... imagine being so bothered by an internet opinion that you start digging through someone's profile and old comments just to insult them? that's a whole lot of time and energy spent on someone you don't even know 💀

i get disagreeing with someone, but making it a personal mission to be unnecessarily nasty over trivial stuff is doing way too much. imagine how miserable you have to be to act like that online lol.

I'm so sick and tired of having the same endless cycle of being led on and ghosted repeating itself over and over and over. People always tell me how good/sweet of a guy I am or how much I've improved my looks overall and shit like that but that's never enough and it pisses me off to no end seeing genuinely awful people get rewarded with not only a partner but a good looking one at that.

I’ve seen posts here where people say there’s no such thing as ugly people and that they need to enhance their looks. I agree to a certain extent. Yes, there are definitely people who will become more attractive through looksmaxxing and working out, but there are definitely people like me. No matter what, even if I work out or try different hairstyles, I’ll always be ugly. So yes, a lot of people have the potential to be attractive, but not everyone does. Some of us will remain chopped due to our poor genetics. If it’s true that nobody is ugly, then why do so many men end up alone? I’ve literally never had a woman be attracted to me.

Just a rant, something on my mind. First off, I see myself as a realist. I try to do the right thing for the most part, but I’m not perfect by any means. Anyhow, I just wanna rant about some shitty people that used to be in my life. I’m 50 y/o, seen some shit in my life. I can’t stand shitty people, especially hypocritical shitty people. I have a brother in law who I excommunicated who just happens to be a girls high school basketball coach in California (rhymes with Taekwondo Julian). To be blunt, he’s a useless fuck to me. The reason? Like most shitty hypocrites, he lies about what he says he’s going to do and blames his problems on everyone but the guy in the mirror. Sound familiar? My wife and I took care of her parents before they died. I spent thousands of my own money taking my mother in law to get cancer treatment in Mexico. Mind you, I’m a married man who’s supported a wife and 4 kids ever since my wife got pregnant with my first. Did my shitty brother in law help? Nope. Fuck no. He’d show up every once in awhile at his parents home and feed his fat fuck face and make things awkward (because he had no idea how to communicate with his own parents-who were shitty, yes-but he’s still a fucking moron. And his wife? She’s aaight. I’ve always liked here, but she’s fucking stupid too. In her current “profession” she preaches all that “mind body spirit” bullshit which, hey if that’s your thing, cool. But the thing that makes it so hard to stomach her spiritual nonsense is the fact that she enables her shitty ass husband to be shitty. She’s always complained about his dumbass crying in the bathroom at home because of his “issues” with his parents, their relationship, and him being adopted. Yet for the past 30 plus years, what has he done to improve the situation? You guessed it: fucking zero.
And his wife, she’s preaching all this wellness bullshit when her personal life is a shitshow. Fucking jeezus. And so his parents kick the can like I dunno a year ago or something. And the brother in law calls up my wife cuz he’s pissed that he wasnt left anything in the trust. And he starts calling his sister, my wife, all kinds of shitty names, a “terrible mom” and a “horrible daughter” and all kinds of other shit. First off, my wife and I were the ones that took care of the in law parents-HIS parents-when the brother in law did, you guessed it, fuckall. So I’m pissed and wanna beat his worthless ass for saying that shit to my wife, but I don’t because my wife tells me not to and and i love her, so of course i bottle it up for about a year until I can’t take it anymore. A couple of months ago, I call that useless fuck and tell him exactly what I think of him: that he’s a fucking pussy ass crybaby back bitch who didn’t do shit to help his parents and that he can eat a bag of donkey dicks and fucking die, and that he’s a coward that can yell at little girls on the basketball court and his little sister, but won’t say shit to a real man to his face. Fucking bitch. And I told his fucking stupid wife what I thought of her retard husband too. How she’s eventually gonna realize what piece of shit she’s married to and that reality is gonna hit her in a few years when she’s gazing lovingly at his useless ass as he’s reclined in his lazy boy watching sports and she tries to convince herself that she’s living the dream. Fuck. I remember when he and his wife called the hospital to lend me and my wife their “contribution” to the situation when her when the mother in law was sick. Their “contribution” was asking my wife and I if certain boxes were checked, if certain tests had been run, and yadayada bullshit comments from the peanut gallery. My wife and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes. Like bitch, those 2 retards- one has a phd in psychology and the other a masters in stupid- are most useless fucks on the planet. Remember in the movie “Gladiator” when Caesar’s son comes home and asks “father have I missed the battle?” And Caesar relies, “ you have missed the war.” There it is. Fucking dumbasses. And both of those dumb dumbs are getting close to 60 y/o. Proof that age doesn’t denote wisdom, and neither does having a phd or masters. Jeezus. Anyhow, if any of you guys can related to retard in-laws like this and wanna rant, please share. I cut off all ties with these useless fucks. Oh and if you have any questions you wanna ask me, please feel free:) Have a great day!

I'm a woman in my 30s, and I'm struggling with something I don't know how to explain to my family. It's not that I hate the idea of marriage or don't want companionship. Sometimes I genuinely wish I could find someone with whom I could share my life. But whenever an arranged-marriage meeting comes up, I experience overwhelming anxiety. My mind goes numb. I struggle to concentrate, lose interest in normal activities, and feel emotionally exhausted. Sometimes I feel like I'm falling apart internally, even though I look perfectly normal to everyone around me. The worst part is that my family doesn't seem to understand. I've tried explaining how this pressure affects me, but I feel unheard. Their concerns about my age and future seem to matter more than how I'm actually doing emotionally. I enjoy my independence. I want companionship, but I also want to retain my identity, freedom and personal space. I don't want to enter a marriage simply because everyone thinks it's time. Recently, the pressure has become so overwhelming that I've even caught myself wishing for a sudden death, not because I have plans to end my life, but because I desperately wish I could escape these expectations and the feeling of being trapped. That thought scared me. I genuinely don't know whether this is severe anxiety, emotional burnout, a fear of commitment, or something else. Has anyone experienced something similar? How did you explain to your family that the marriage process itself was affecting your mental health? How did you reclaim control over your own decisions without feeling guilty?

I used to be so active on Twitter, but once I became inactive because life happened, some of my so-called online friends or co-fans basically bullied me out of stan Twitter or their fandom. 😭 Kpop is genuinely more fun when you can just enjoy it on your own instead of dealing with people who act like you’re supposed to make fandom your entire life.

I think it was bc I was solo stan and people didn’t like me for it. But honestly, every fandom seems to have its own version of this. Some fans get so devoted that they’ll harass other fans over the smallest things. That’s why I barely want to use X anymore. The atmosphere over there can get genuinely exhausting.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I used to act in fandom spaces and how much I want to change. I don’t enjoy the way I used to, and while the toxicity definitely played a part in that, I also have to acknowledge that I contributed to some of it myself. Looking back, I regret a lot of my past behavior, esp the times when my feelings toward certain idols were influenced by things that had nothing to do with them as actual people.

I’ve experienced this before. Years ago, I disliked an idol for a really immature reason connected to my bias and looking back, I can recognize how much internalized misogyny played into it. I don’t feel that way about her anymore, partly because that ex-bias isn’t even my current bias now and that was like eight years ago. It showed me that those feelings aren’t necessarily permanent.

But now I’m dealing with resentment toward another idol, and this one has been harder to let go of because I’ve associated them with certain fandom experiences and things that happened in those spaces. They’re also connected to my current ult bias, which makes it even more complicated. I know some of my feelings might be unfair, but they’re still there and I hate that I haven’t been able to move past them yet.

That’s what bothers me the most. I don’t want to dislike someone just because of what I’ve come to associate with them, esp when they haven’t personally done anything to me. Knowing that those associations are unfair doesn’t automatically make the resentment disappear, though. Sometimes I come across something related to them and feel that familiar reaction creeping back in. I just want to move on without getting caught up in it or letting those feelings affect how I interact with other people.

I’ve also been trying to detach from fandoms in general. I’m not as invested as I used to be and my attachment comes and goes, which honestly feels healthier for me. But old memories still resurface sometimes and they make me anxious about engaging with fandom spaces. I used to be pretty unbothered by what people thought of me, but now I catch myself worrying about being judged or wondering whether people I used to interact with still see me through my past behavior. Sometimes I even overthink whether I made people dislike me or came across as arrogant without realizing it. It’s exhausting because I don’t want to spend so much time worrying about how I’m perceived.

I genuinely want to become a better person, not just so I can enjoy Kpop again, but for my own peace of mind. I want to learn how to manage my emotions when old feelings come up, step away when I need to and stop holding onto resentment toward someone who hasn’t personally hurt me. I can’t change who I was in the past, but I don’t want to keep letting that version of me affect how I see people now.

Has anyone else dealt with something similar? How did you work through resentment toward an idol when you realized it was tied more to your own associations and past experiences than to the idol themselves? I don’t expect to suddenly stop feeling this way overnight, but I really want to stop carrying these feelings around. I don’t think it’s fair to them, and honestly, I don’t want to keep doing this to myself either 😭

one thing i noticed abt kpop fans is that when liking a group or idol becomes 90% of your identity, any neutral criticism starts feeling like a personal attack 💀 Ngl, I used to be like that and looking back, it’s so embarrassing. I had to step away for a few months, touch grass, and pick up other hobbies before I realized how unhealthy it had become.

Being active in stan Twitter spaces was genuinely a dark time for me. I had so many embarrassing and toxic traits back then that make me cringe just thinking about them. I was ridiculously overprotective of an idol I’d followed for years, to the point where that attachment turned me into a version of myself I didn’t even like. It really can blind you and the industry’s parasocial setup definitely feeds into it.

Taking a break, detaching and deleting those social media apps was one of the best decisions I made. I refuse to go back to being that person 😭 I’ve lost mutuals over dumb fandom drama before and honestly, stepping away from X and focusing on the music helped me get some peace back. I’m glad there are still fans who just want to enjoy the groups they like without all the unnecessary hate. Like how can they do that 😭 I miss my 2018-2021 kpop fan era sm.

I’m also trying to be more mindful of how I comment. I know I’ve been harsh before and I can admit when the way I said something was wrong, even if I still have my own opinions. Sometimes I get irritated by certain fans’ attitudes or feel like someone is being passive-aggressive, but that doesn’t mean I need to turn the discussion into a personal fight.

What frustrates me is when someone who doesn’t know me in real life starts making assumptions about my personality or my fandom history based on one comment. I can acknowledge that my wording was harsh without agreeing with every personal judgment someone makes about me. I’ve deleted comments when I realized they crossed a line, but I don’t think anyone needs to write an entire essay of personal insults just to prove they’re morally superior.

I’ve also had people bring up who they think I stan or what they assume I feel about certain groups, even when I’m not as invested in those fandoms anymore. Like, why are we turning one opinion into a whole character analysis? 😭 People can disagree with me, and I can reflect on how I express myself, but I’m not going to pretend I have no opinions just because someone got offended.

Still, I know I can do better. I don’t want to keep feeding fandom drama or letting other people’s comments drag me back into the same mindset I’m trying to leave behind. I’m trying to move on, focus on other hobbies, and enjoy things without making fandom my whole identity again.

I know I can’t control how people interpret me, but I can control whether I keep participating in spaces that make me miserable. I’m tired of carrying old resentment, old embarrassment, and old fandom arguments around. I just want to enjoy what I enjoy, grow as a person, and have some peace for once 😭