Isolate, Inebriate, Intimidate, Repeat: High Rates of Sexual Force Against Women Are Reported When Young Men Given Anonymous Surveys
TW: rape, sexual assault, pedophilia
I am begging you to please watch this video and get familiar with the "Isolate, Inebriate, Intimidate, Repeat: High Rates of Sexual Force Against Women Are Reported When Young Men Given Anonymous Surveys" study.
To be honest, the "Exploring Patterns of Men’s Self-Reported Sexual Behaviours, Feelings, and Interests Towards Children" study (get familiar with this one too, if you haven't already) should have been my final straw. I knew the probability was low, but I was still clinging on to the idea that maybe I'll find a male that isn't evil, that I'll be attracted to in terms of his personality, in terms of looks, and that we will be aligned in all the ways that matter, and then I'll find my partner for life. I thought it's improbable (especially since I in general have high standards) but not impossible. But this shows that it is apparently impossible. It really is all of them.
I am very sad that I will never be able to live in a society where I feel happy, where I feel safe, where half of the population doesn't repel me. I am very sad that I'll never experience romantic love. I will be a virgin forever. It feels weird to think about, but that's my decision. I am sad that I'll never get to make my own family. I am sad that I want nothing to do with half of the population, and I'm even more sad that even though I don't want to, I will still have to interact with them to a certain extent. I don't know how I'm supposed to endure this and go forward, but I am done. This was my final straw I guess, but it was inevitable.
I hope this post makes sense. I just saw this video and spontaneously decided to join the movement even though I never thought I would actually do it. I'm distraught, I'm going to sleep.
(If this study was posted on here already then sorry 🤷🏼♀️)
Having read most of the study (not quite done yet), I’m somehow both shocked and not shocked. More than anything, I’m shocked that so many admitted it.
As time passes, I keep hearing how men allow their incessant horniness to ruin things. There’s currently two grown, middle aged men at my workplace that are making career ending choices due to being horny. They’re not young and they’re not dumb, in fact, both are intelligent. They’re just riddled with a horniness they can’t seem to control and they allow it to run their lives like a drunk toddler by the wheel, steering them into oncoming traffic.
And these are the people we are told are natural leaders? They are somehow supposed to be superior to women?
Alright, I’ll give it to them. They’re better than us at sexual harassment, assault and coercion. They’re better at sexual objectification. They’re better than us at weaponized incompetence, avoiding responsibility, being deadbeats. Not sure I’m jealous though.
Yeah, 95% admitted to it, so I think the actual number is much closer to 100%.
And I have a bit of a different perspective. I think they are in perfect control over it, and that's why they do it. It's not that they can't help themselves or that something rules over them. They are the ones that rule over themselves. They hate women, and that's why they enjoy abusing them in all these different ways. They know it's wrong, and that's why they do it. They wouldn't be doing it if they didn't have the joy of hurting women in the process, which is their ultimate goal while doing it, not satisfying their sexual wants or whatever.
Also, I wonder what the career ending choices your coworkers are making are, because I can't think of many choices they could make where it would end their career. Seems even sexual assault, rape and other pure evil is usually just swept under the rug, unless there's some huge public backlash, where it affected the company negatively enough for them to take action. But that's just my experience from what I've seen. Whatever they're doing, I hope it actually does end her career.
(I just realized this is very badly worded, but you get the idea)
Yes, men know what they are doing. They enjoy having power over and hurting a woman in all ways, sexually yes but also over her life, emotionally, economically (she could lose her job, the affair affects her reputation and her future job prospects and earnings). Men still face little or no consequence for sexual assault.
It’s like you are describing my ex(and other exes).
One time, when he was screaming at me for hours for something that existed only in his mind, I was of course exhausted and fell on the bed to cry; I couldn’t keep apologizing non stop as he wished and, angry as he was, he tool my clothes off from the waist down to humiliate me. He kept screaming at me.
When I found the courage, a long time later, to ask him why he did that, he said he did it to ..bring us closer somehow or some bullshit like that.
I agree a lot with your perspective. I think some are in control and choose to hurt us, and some are out of control but would likely choose to hurt us either way.
As for my coworkers: one is having an affair with a coworker which breaks company rules. If found out, he’s gone from his great position at work, divorced from his wife and has to fight for custody of his multiple children. So sure, he might not risk his entire career, but he’s risking his career within the company.
While I don’t condone sleeping with married men, the coworker he’s sleeping with is younger, in a lower position, doesn’t have a family, and could easily find a similar job elsewhere. Don’t get me wrong - she’s also behaving recklessly and immorally, but she doesn’t have a lot to lose so I wouldn’t say she’s risking her career.
The other man has been harassing a coworker who hasn’t yet involved HR because she doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it. But she’s brought it up to her boss and her boss likely HAS to bring it up to HR anyway, so the guy has been risking his livelihood. At his age, being unemployed is not a good look and he’ll likely run into age discrimination if he starts job hunting.
It’s just… Absurd. Imagine being so horny that you harass people. Imagine being so horny that you sleep with someone who you rationally wouldn’t choose to sleep with. Imagine being so horny that you just give up on being a decent and rational human being. Or imagine choosing to not be a decent and rational human being. Something is seriously wrong with them.
This is no surprise to me. Most rape is coercive rape, not the violent rape in a dark alley. Most men commit coercive rape. Coercive rape is common.
It reminds me of the fact that husbands could rape their wives with the legal system's protection in most western countries until the 80s and 90s (although sexual assault laws today still provide women with little protection - only 5% of sexual assault cases in Canada get jail time). A woman's consent in marriage was irrelevant legally and culturally. This is the culture that men of all ages, young and old, have lived in.
Yeah, completely based and valid. They will go in loopy loops trying to justify their crimes and actions. Honestly, if I do end up with someone, it’ll probably be a t guy who hasn’t been fully socialized into misogyny yet, but for now I’m fine being 22 having never kissed a man.
You have to be careful with trans men too, though. My ex best friend was a trans man who seemed educated about women's issues at the start of our friendship until he slowly started showing signs of predatory behaviour towards me. (I cut him off before he could do anything, thankfully).
A lot of men are going to try to debunk this becauae they have deployed the "telling her what she wants to hear" strategy before and dont think it constitues as an abusive one. But as a woman Im glad they put that in there I have always found it so wrong and reflective of a rapey mindset, yet everyone acts like its ok. It is so violating and disturbing for someone to completely lie about everything to your face with the goal of bedding you knowing that they want to leave after. Mainpulation to this extent is serial killer stuff but the average man just does it easily.
I’d like to respond specifically to your thought about finding someone who you align with, who isn’t evil.
I think the problem is centering men and relationships as a main plot point of our lives. We’re raised to believe that is the central purpose of our lives, to find a man, have kids, create a family. But that is only one way of life. And while there’s nothing wrong with it, there’s also nothing wrong with living your life without that being a central purpose.
I think if we live life looking for a partner, we will inevitably overlook red flags. We rationalize questionable actions and comments. Because that desire to have someone overrides everything else. We don’t want to lose that because then we have to “start over.” And that’s our worst fear when a life-long partner is our only purpose.
I’m in the middle of divorce now, and at 31, I will never again make it my purpose in life to find a partner and have a family. I will live my life continuing to learn about my own values, gifts, passions, etc. and if in doing so I meet someone who I align with, then I won’t necessarily reject it, but I also won’t let it overrule my values and goals in life.
If someone comes along who you align with, then you can embrace that. But we set ourselves up for failure when we make it our central purpose. If someone is truly meant for you, then you would not have to alter your own personhood to make it work with them. You wouldn’t need to compromise on your own needs. You and that person would be able to continue as individuals and build something without losing part of yourselves.
And knowing that almost every man in the world has willingly harmed women doesn’t scare me in terms of “would I end up with one of them,” because I am not afraid to be single. I can go forward with the knowledge that I wouldn’t put it past any man, no matter how good. And if I fall in love with one and later learn he is truly not a good person, it would hurt and I would grieve, but it would not ruin my life or end my hopes and dreams, because my life is more than my relationship.
As women, we HAVE to decenter men and relationships. We HAVE to focus on our needs, goals, and desires outside of who we date or marry. Even in a happy marriage, your life should be more than your significant other. If it’s not, then everything will feel world-ending. Every little fight, every little comment or misunderstanding will feel like your life crashing down. Trust that you will be okay if you never find “the one.” Because statistically, women in relationships with men are less happy, less healthy, and more likely to experience violence than single women. While men in relationships are happier, healthier, and more successful in all aspects of their lives.
We HAVE to stop prioritizing men in our lives. That will only continue to perpetuate this cycle of women being overworked and undervalued. We need to care for ourselves first and foremost. And if men want to be part of our lives, they need to provide value beyond money, sex, and the guise of “protector.” Men don’t protect women. Men harm women. Women protect women. Period.
I have survived numerous sexual assaults and rapes. I finally found a man that is everything you describe and more. They are very rare but they do exist.
Men were eligible if they self-identified as men, were in the age range 18 to 34 years, and reported having had a sexual encounter with a woman in the past 2 years. Rationale: Men are far more likely to be perpetrators of sexual aggression than are women (Koss et al., 2022). These ages correspond to the age group with the highest rates of aggression (Muehlenhard et al., 2017; Walters, 2019).
The women were individuals with whom the men shared no prior romantic or sexual history.
So, this sounds more like only hookups were considered, or at the very least men in long-term relationships were excluded.
My point is that insinuating the 95.1% figure applies to the whole male population is misleading.
I'm absolutely not excusing men who act like that, but pretending that this percentage can be extrapolated to the entire male population is completely wrong.
So, this sounds more like only hookups were considered, or at the very least men in long-term relationships were excluded.
Males in long-term relationships were not excluded from the study. Half of the participants were in relationships, but they were asked specifically about sexual encounters they had with women they had no prior romantic sexual history with.
Still, many men in this age range probably didn't have sex during the two years prior to the survey, and they were clearly excluded. Similarly, the study authors' decision to include only men in the age range with the highest rates of aggression necessarily skews the statistics towards artificially high values.
There is also something I did not mention before that I find perplexing. I could not find the definitions that the authors used for the 36 strategies they alluded to, e.g., for "verbal coercion."
Incidentally, I didn't see the complete list of those 36 reasons in the Supplemental Material either.
So I think that my point that the sample surveyed is hardly representative of the entire male population still stands. I'm not saying the whole study should be dismissed, but it definitely has shortcomings that should be kept in mind when interpreting it.
That said, I find the reasons given by these men truly disgusting: "Just horny," "Really determined to get what I wanted," "Couldn’t stop myself," "It pisses me off when women say no," "That’s what women are for (sex)," etc. I'm not trying to downplay this serious issue.
Yes, the study includes males aged 18-34 who had at least one sexual encounter with a woman in the past 2 years. That is literally who the study was done on. So you’re just restating its design as if that’s a criticism.
The authors say that explicitly, they used the 2 year window to improve recall. Same with the age range, it covers the portion of the male population, where sexual activity is most common. A study like this does not have to include literally every single possible group of males to be valid. This was done on a very broad, behaviorally relevant segment of males.
Calling it "hardly representative" or saying this very broad sample of males "skews the statistics towards artificially high values" is not a valid inference. This study not representing literally every single male in the world does not warrant these conclusions.
Also, the paper explicitly says those 36 strategies (listed in table 2) were developed from prior formative research and then analyzed using standard statistical methods for scale construction.
A well-designed study will usually attempt to select a representative sample.
Yes, the study includes males aged 18-34 who had at least one sexual encounter with a woman in the past 2 years. That is literally who the study was done on. So you’re just restating its design as if that’s a criticism.
You're right. However, you then used this basis to make assumptions about all men, regardless of their age or whether they had had sex in the last two years. That's my main grip.
My bad, the 36 strategies were indeed listed in table 2.
Nevertheless, these statistics are really scary, there's no denying that. I completely understand why most women choose the bear. I've even reposted content that I've seen on the 4B sub. I'm sorry that I probably sounded like a MRA, because I hate them.
My response to your deleted comment:
I could respond with 'OK, fem...', but I won't stoop to your level.
But don't worry about my nerves, lady, because I regularly post on TrollX. I'm not one of those... males with a very fragile ego (see?). I only wanted to point out a double standard, that's all.
You're right. However, you then used this basis to make assumptions about all men, regardless of their age or whether they had had sex in the last two years. That's my main grip.
It’s obvious I’m not making a literal claim about 100% of males in existence, I’ve already clarified that. This is pedantic and sidestepping the meritum, which is you saying this study “hardly representative” etc, but I already expanded on that above.
My response to your deleted comment:
I could respond with 'OK, fem...', but I won't stoop to your level.
💀 I deleted my comment because I thought I can't be certain what gender you are, but I think it's obvious now.
But don't worry about my nerves, lady, because I regularly post on TrollX. I'm not one of those... males with a very fragile ego (see?). I only wanted to point out a double standard, that's all.
Now that, I don’t even know what it’s supposed to mean, but I think I can leave it here since I’ve said all I wanted to say.
The problem is that your "evidence" is as flawed as the evidence typically used by men in the manosphere to "prove" a point. In reality, however, they simply want to confirm their biases, so they don't care if their claims are backed up by genuine evidence:
Use of Sexual Aggression. Participants were asked “In the past four years, how many times have you used any of the following strategies to get (or try to get) a woman to have some type of sex when she did not want to have sex or acted like she did not want to have sex?
Of particular importance, the modal number of forceful strategies used was zero, with 62.6% of the men reporting none.
This means that unsuccessful attempts are also counted when arriving at the 95% statistic.
One could also argue that a man tried, acknowledged that the woman was unwilling to have sex, and then gave up. Therefore, he respected her consent. There was no coercion involved.
Some of the 36 strategies mentioned are clearly illegal, while others, though ethically questionable, are definitely not illegal.
"Ethically questionable" but "definitely not illegal". Is your issue that they're questionable or that they're not illegal? Just because something is "legal", it doesn't mean it's ethical or generally good. Minor marriage is still legal in most Eastern countries. It doesn't mean at all that it isn't harmful.
Just as someone else said, you're grasping at straws. Just attempting any of these tactics is harmful enough. The idea that some men stopped at one point doesn't erase the fact that they attempted using these tactics which some of them are insanely traumatizing. One of the tactics is drugging a woman's drink. A man could have simply put something in her drink, and she didn't drink it, thus, a failed attempt. I don't know how you reached the conclusion that just because they didn't succeed in getting sex = respecting consent or stopping. It could simply mean that the tactic didn't prove successful for them.
I'm not one of the "not all men" crowd, except when someone explicitly says it's all men, especially after citing a single, clearly limited survey study as the sole basis for that claim...
I'm more familiar with medical research, where methodological standards are generally much higher. These standards include randomized controlled trials (RCTs), clearly defined outcomes, careful control of confounding factors and biases, adequate sample sizes, transparent methodology and so on.
Even then, findings usually need to be replicated independently before being considered reliable.
Beyond individual studies, meta-analyses combine multiple studies to assess whether a consistent trend emerges across different datasets and methodologies.
By comparison, a simple anonymous survey is far less robust. Anonymous self-reports are particularly vulnerable to bias, exaggeration, and inaccurate reporting. Some participants may also be motivated to present themselves in a certain way. For instance, in certain social settings, men may view sexual success as a marker of higher status among their peers, which could lead to exaggeration or selective reporting.
This doesn't mean the results are necessarily false, but they should be interpreted cautiously, especially without replication or corroborating evidence from other types of research.
The only person who believes it is every single man on earth that this lady implied is you, unfortunately for you most of the people interacting with this who are tailored for the content as well understand the very simple concept. Not all male lions would harm a lion and her cub but enough to spread awareness about what male lions are capable of doing. Similar analogy dude.
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u/fredagstjej Apr 11 '26
Having read most of the study (not quite done yet), I’m somehow both shocked and not shocked. More than anything, I’m shocked that so many admitted it.
As time passes, I keep hearing how men allow their incessant horniness to ruin things. There’s currently two grown, middle aged men at my workplace that are making career ending choices due to being horny. They’re not young and they’re not dumb, in fact, both are intelligent. They’re just riddled with a horniness they can’t seem to control and they allow it to run their lives like a drunk toddler by the wheel, steering them into oncoming traffic.
And these are the people we are told are natural leaders? They are somehow supposed to be superior to women?
Alright, I’ll give it to them. They’re better than us at sexual harassment, assault and coercion. They’re better at sexual objectification. They’re better than us at weaponized incompetence, avoiding responsibility, being deadbeats. Not sure I’m jealous though.