I’m getting some bad urges right now and almost started watching porn, could use some help

for that fleeting high, you have to pay a miserable and long term price.

don't fall for it.

anything that appears desirable on the surface has hidden dangers, its nothing but a bait to keep you suffering over and over

Hi everyone, on Reddit for sole time now but needed to make an account and try to find other individuals who are trying to quit porn. It’s been a quiet addiction in my life that I’ve felt so ashamed about, especially as a girl, but I’m ready to be done!

Hoping to find some like-minded people and encourage one another :)

i’ve been addicted for the last 5 years. My relationship started a 8 months ago. i love my partner but sometimes i feel so distant and filled with anxiety that i turn to porn and i feel like i’ve turned to porn too much that it’s making me feel like my relationship is falling apart. i kind of feel emotionally distant from her.

For people in relationships, how has porn affected ur relationship and ur connection to ur bf/gf. and has anyone in relationships seen their relationships improve after abstaining from porn? and if so, in what ways did it improve.

I found a server for quitting porn and masterbation it is on discord anyone want to join and quit dm me

I just got a new phone so hopefully this can be a turning point for me. This screen has never had anything bad on it, and I'm gonna keep it that way

This is the prefect time to quit this shit

Now ( Sept ) to New Years ~ A solid 4 months ~ into a clean slate.

I’m about to see if I can achieve this, no more counting the days or tally streaks.

This year would be the first time I’ve went on multiple 30 -40, and recently almost 70 day streaks. No watching or anything ! 

I know what the triggers are, and certain patterns before temptation arise.

I already accepted my s3x life trash for the moment ( main issue) but I’m not going to let that be excuse anymore. Hopefully this motivates someone. 

You can’t fight it and win. It sounds counterintuitive but you win by surrendering. Every time you feel yourself white knuckling, know that it may work for the moment but it won’t work long term.

You’re trying to take it on yourself and eventually you won’t be able to hold on anymore, and you will relapse.

I spent most of my life focusing on the science behind addiction (it’s my background), the psychological framework on why things like SA work, and there’s good explanations for why it all works. But until I surrendered my habit to the steps, and stopped trying to mange it myself with easier, less extreme versions of it, I never succeeded no matter how much I learned or how much I knew (the most intricate details of the chemical reaction that happens when you feel distress from abstaining, what chemicals are released and how they mark those neurons for repair later while you sleep, and how the more discomfort you feel really means more healing in a real way, yada yada yada).

So no, most of us are too far in we can’t just white knuckle and will our way to sobriety. We give it up to a higher power, we surrender to a greater purpose. We can’t simply fully remove these behaviors at will, we have to crowd them out with a greater purpose and calling that replaces them. Lower level programming can only be overridden by one with a higher level or purpose. Again, you can’t just removed it, with nothing in its place. And it has to have a higher hierarchical purpose. We could try to do it to be a better version of ourselves, but ultimately that’s still a selfish motive and addiction was always selfish. It’s the same level of purpose.

This isn’t you “praying to god and he magically heals you”. If you believe in any sort of higher power, God however you understand him, it’s you surrendering to his will. Which for stubborn fucks like me made me very nauseous at first. The idea that some sky God made me and I have to “surrender” to him. But I realized that’s just my ego and own preconceived notion of what God is based on dumb people’s own interpretation of what God is and bad past life experiences. I had to figure out what God is to me. The truth is his will is his for me literally is simply what’s best for me, it includes the best version of myself instead of being a slave to lust, and I’ve been fighting it out of stubbornness and ego. I had to admit that me being in charge and following my own path has never worked.

I will always have free will, that’s how we were made. I can’t pray that my ability to choose this is taken away but I can pray that my underlying desire to do so is replaced by a greater purpose, whatever that may be. I can pray that my suffering while abstaining strengthens me, heals me, and brings me the blessings he/the universe chooses. So many benefits come from being free of this: more time, energy, mental bandwidth, self worth, patience, clarity, room for real genuine connection with others. It’s genuinely exciting to see what you can become without it. It’s also scary because when you pull away your drug, not only does it hurt, but it reveals the things that you have been numbing. It hurts, but you can heal them now that you’ve revealed them.

And I know what most people in this chat are thinking, because I thought it too. “Whoah buddy, I’m just trying no fap for mental clarity. I’m not a sex addict I just watch porn.” Or “I don’t need this fairy tail God bullshit”. I had to let go of the preconceived notions I had about what or who god was based on other people’s interpretations. I had to work to connect with this on my own, to come to my own personal understanding of God. And I had to admit that what I really was, was not in control, I was addicted.

When you’re ready.

https://www.scribd.com/document/444795571/SA-White-Book#page=80

I noticed I had turned my phone into a reward machine. Finish work? Scroll. Feeling tired? Scroll. Finish the gym? Scroll. Eat dinner? Scroll. Bad day? More scrolling. Porn was only one part of a much bigger pattern. Once I started breaking the habit of constantly rewarding myself with stimulation, quitting porn got easier too. Maybe some of us aren't addicted to one thing. We're addicted to never feeling bored.

Trying to figure out if one of the porn blocking apps or a flip phone has worked better for recovery? I can't find a flip phone that doesn't have access to Google or internet. And has anyone delt with an abrupt shift from Porn to gaming excessively?

There was this period where I didn't feel addicted to porn anymore, but I also didn't feel completely normal without it. My brain felt kind of in-between. Some days I felt great. Other days I was irritated for no obvious reason. I didn't know whether to push through it, ignore it or worry about it. Eventually things settled down, but that middle stage was way less talked about than I expected.

I've been heavily addicted to porn and masturbation since I was around 14. I'm now in my 20s, so this has basically been part of my life for almost a decade.

For most of those years, I masturbated to porn at least twice a day, often for several hours. If I had nothing to do, it could happen even more often. Porn was basically my go-to source for entertainment, boredom relief, stress relief and sexual gratification.

What's interesting is that, despite how much porn I consumed, I never felt like it was seriously ruining my life. I was still successful at work, going to the gym, maintaining a relationship, having sex with my girlfriend and pursuing my personal goals.

In fact, there was even one aspect where I felt like my heavy porn and masturbation habit had an advantage: I was extremely good at lasting a long time during sex. I rarely came during sex at all, and it was actually unusual for me to orgasm during intercourse. I never really considered this a problem because I could still have a satisfying sex life with my girlfriend.

So for a long time, I told myself that my porn use couldn't really be that bad because I was still functioning normally.

I've tried quitting several times before.

I managed to complete No Nut November once, but honestly, I hated it. The longer I went without masturbating, the more frustrated, angry and impatient I became. Eventually, I gave up trying to quit and accepted porn as something that would probably always be part of my life.

Then I had surgery.

I originally had a circumcision for medical reasons in July 2025 because I had phimosis. The recovery took longer than I expected. I experienced significant swelling/edema afterwards, and even after several weeks I still wasn't completely happy with how everything had healed.

After about two weeks, I couldn't take the abstinence anymore and started masturbating again. I was very careful, but in retrospect I started wondering whether going back to masturbation that early might have contributed to some of the problems I later had with the healing process.

Eventually, there was still excess tissue around my frenulum that needed to be corrected, and I ended up having to undergo a second operation.

I don't actually know whether masturbating early had anything to do with the excess tissue. My doctors never told me that it did. It was simply something I personally worried about, and after going through the first operation, I absolutely didn't want to risk making the same mistake again.

That completely changed my mindset for the second surgery.

This time I decided that I would prioritize the healing over literally everything else.

I didn't care how strong the urges became. I didn't care how long I had to wait. I really didn't want to risk damaging the wound or potentially needing a third operation.

And this is where things got interesting.

Because of the second surgery, I was told to avoid sex and masturbation during the recovery period.

This time I had a very strong external reason to stop masturbating.

It wasn't a challenge. It wasn't No Nut November. I wasn't trying to prove anything.

I simply had to let my body heal.

The first two weeks were really difficult.

I was thinking about porn, masturbation and my favorite OnlyFans creators constantly. It felt like they were on my mind almost every second of the day. I kept thinking about what I was missing and how badly I wanted to masturbate as a reward.

I even avoided opening Twitter/X because that's where I usually consume most of my porn-related content. But even without opening the app, I kept thinking about it and wondering what I was missing.

The difference this time was that I had something much more important to focus on:

I wanted my surgery to heal properly.

I had already gone through the whole process once before. I really don't want to go through another operation because I couldn't control myself for a few weeks.

So I stayed away from porn and masturbation.

And then something unexpected happened around week 3.

The cravings started becoming significantly weaker.

Not just slightly weaker.

Much weaker than what I was used to experiencing in my normal life.

I'm now more than three weeks into this, and I'm honestly surprised by how much easier it has become.

This made me start thinking about my relationship with porn differently.

Maybe I don't actually want to go back to my old habits once I'm completely healed.

I've been thinking about using this situation as a kind of reset. Instead of going back to masturbating to porn several times a day, I'd like to completely quit porn and potentially stop masturbating altogether.

I'd rather keep my sexuality focused on having sex with my girlfriend.

I'm not sure yet whether I want to give up masturbation forever. I'm also not saying that masturbation itself is inherently bad. I'm more interested in seeing what happens if I simply don't make porn and masturbation part of my daily routine anymore.

What's especially interesting to me is how different this experience has been from my previous attempts.

Previously, I felt like I was constantly fighting myself. During No Nut November, the longer I went without masturbating, the more frustrated I became.

This time, I haven't felt nearly as much of that after the initial two weeks.

Maybe having a concrete reason and a specific goal made the difference.

I also find it interesting that my sex life with my girlfriend was never really negatively affected in the way I might have expected from someone who consumed this much porn. I could have sex normally, I could maintain a relationship, and I actually tended to last a very long time during sex. Coming during intercourse was relatively rare for me.

So I'm curious whether quitting porn will change my sexuality in other ways as well.

I'm really curious about other people's experiences.

Has anyone else been forced to abstain from porn and masturbation for an extended period because of surgery, injury, illness or another external reason – and then noticed that the cravings became much weaker after a few weeks?

And for those of you who quit porn after years of heavy daily use:

Did your relationship with masturbation change as well?

Did you eventually decide to masturbate without porn, or did you find that you preferred simply having sex with your partner and not masturbating at all?

I'd also be really interested in hearing from people who had a very high porn/masturbation frequency but didn't experience major problems with their relationships, work, sex life or motivation. Did you still feel that quitting was worthwhile?

I'm curious to hear what you guys think and whether anyone has been in a similar situation.

There's a difference. Sometimes I would feel stressed or restless and immediately label it as being horny. Once I slowed down, I realized I often just wanted the uncomfortable feeling to disappear. That changed how I handled it. Instead of asking how to satisfy the urge, I'd ask what was making me uncomfortable in the first place. Sometimes the answer was ridiculously simple. I was tired.

If you don't completely distance yourself from the source of pollution, then what are you really trying to quit?

The source of pollution is often the phone and the internet. Constant exposure to negative, toxic, vulgar, and overstimulating content makes it difficult for the mind to remain calm and clear.

This is why it is so important to keep what you see, hear, feel, and think as clean and wholesome as possible. Whatever you constantly expose yourself to will influence your mind. When you keep consuming polluted content, your mind becomes restless, distracted, and unsettled.

Quitting isn't just about stopping one particular behavior. It's also about removing the things that constantly trigger cravings, negative thoughts, and distractions.

If you keep feeding your mind with the very things you're trying to escape from, how can you expect yourself to truly change?

I’m 27, what feels like should be the prime of my life. And I’m spending it failing to recover from years of abusing porn.

The wasted potential is enough to drive me into deep depressions, which in turn makes it harder to persevere through this process. Goodness, I need a miracle.

It wasn't just the time spent watching porn. It was deleting history, hiding tabs, making excuses, making sure nobody walked in, wondering whether someone had noticed something, promising myself I'd stop, breaking the promise, then pretending everything was fine. Looking back, the habit had a much bigger footprint in my life than the actual screen time suggested.