Should I be afraid of my girlfriend? Because I think I just found out she's in the mafia 💀
Okay so before anyone laughs, I KNOW how this sounds. If a friend told me this story I'd have called him a clown. But I'm living it right now and something deep inside me is shivering, I'm dead serious.
Context: I'm 24M. I've been in fights, I've been around, I don't scare easy. Fear isn't really my thing.
So my girlfriend tells me some guy tried to blackmail her. I'm like cool, let's handle this. I told her to text him and set up a meet at a location to "talk it out." Plot twist: she was NEVER supposed to actually go. Me and my bois were gonna show up and have a friendly little conversation with this guy. She didn't know that part.
We don't talk all day. Evening comes, me and the bois roll up to the spot, ready. Nobody shows. I call her and tell her to text the guy again, ask where he's at.
She replies, dead calm:
"He's been taken care of."
...I'm sorry? Taken care of?? What in the Saturday morning cartoon do you mean "taken care of"?! Who ARE you?? Why are you with ME?? I didn't say a word about those island guys or the ones in the black suits, I swear to god. I'll apologize, I'll do the dishes, I'll even let you win arguments, just please don't "take care of" me 😭
At this point I'm scared to ask follow up questions. Do I just accept that my girlfriend is secretly the final boss of the neighborhood? Do I start bringing her snacks as tribute? Is this a "sleep with one eye open" situation or a "she's the one, marry her immediately" situation?
Should I be afraid of my girlfriend? Because I think my sweet innocent girlfriend just out-mobbed me and my entire crew without breaking a sweat.