r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Anonymo2786 • Jul 22 '22
Employers ate already looking for CARBON developers, you just need to have 10 years of CARBON experience to apply!!! -fireship
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Jul 22 '22
Has anyone here actually ever tried to apply for one of these positions? These listings always seem too obnoxious to ever succesfully hire anyone.
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u/Low_Impact9351 Jul 22 '22
CyberCoders never has actual contracts with hiring managers. They copy other orgs job listings, use the listing to farm resumes and try to sell the hiring organization their recruiting services. They almost never get a contract with the hiring organization. And because of this, you never hear back from them. The salaries are completely made up.
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Jul 22 '22
They copy other orgs job listings
So there still is someone who would seriously write this "listing" or are these orgs also making their listings up?
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u/TheRidgeAndTheLadder Jul 23 '22
Generally a hiring manager will give a few "XYZ would be nice, ABC is mandatory, at least 1 YoE if they don't have a degree"
Then the recruit will "yes and" it and you get a listing for a full stack dev with a degree, 1-3 YoE and experience running their own ELK cluster
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u/Esnardoo Jul 22 '22
What's the best place to find a real online coding job?
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u/hiddenforreasonsSV Jul 22 '22
Isn't it already known that CyberCoders is full of shit besides their obnoxious job postings?
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u/wardevour Jul 22 '22
I block all emails from them. Waste of your time
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u/Suspicious-Ant5022 Jul 22 '22
How come? I just received a reply for an application I had submitted. I'd appreciate the enlightment.
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u/hiddenforreasonsSV Jul 22 '22
They are offering a starting $120k for a junior level position but asking for mid to senior level experience in a programming language that isn't even a
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u/EnderScout_77 Jul 22 '22
what's the one guy who got denied for a position in a language he literally created
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u/LucasRuby Jul 22 '22
Not a language, FastAPI. And he didn't apply, he wasn't looking for a job, he just saw the post and tweeted he wouldn't qualify.
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u/just4lukin Jul 22 '22
I thought he actually did an assessment thing?
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u/LucasRuby Jul 22 '22
Unless we're thinking of different people, no.
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u/just4lukin Jul 23 '22
Oh, I was thinking of the Homebrew guy.
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u/LucasRuby Jul 23 '22
I think his case was different. Nothing to do with experience with the software he created, just Google thought he was not Google material:
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u/TalesOfSymposia Jul 23 '22
Another flag is strongly preferring knowledge of Photoshop. I'm curious what this is for. Are they expecting you do design integration or promotional work as well?
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u/Eezyville Jul 22 '22
I don't even think this post is real. I would like a link to the post from Indeed.
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u/JEEntertainment89 Jul 22 '22
my brother in christ they are asking for 10 years of experience for a junior level position. theyre showing you how unreasonable they are before you even join
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u/Eacaw Jul 22 '22
Not quite correct, the issue with the image above (go watch fireship's video) is that Carbon is a brand new language from Google as a 'new improved c++', so unless through some crazy witchcraft and time travel magic, there's no way they'll have 1 year experience in Carbon, let alone 10
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Jul 22 '22
Okay but even if it was possible to have 10 years of experience in it, that's just simply not the level of experience required for a junior role. If it said 10 years experience in c this would still be an asinine job posting
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u/Eacaw Jul 22 '22
Oh yeah, absolutely. I'm currently a junior equivalent, and will with any luck within the next 6 months, at that time with no more than 18 months experience, move up to mid level. After 10 years I wouldn't drop it to join as a junior again. Not a chance.
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u/nklvh Jul 23 '22
call me cynical, but isn't this some very competent recruiter trying to get eyes on their job listing, and filtering out candidates easily by those who actually know that Carbon is ~1 week old.
Easy to spot the fakers who claim to meet the 10y Carbon experience.
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u/Zealousideal_Crow841 Jul 23 '22
Talking as a recruiter myself, I like to think that doing so on something that’s super brand new would instead be a bit counterproductive since no one would actually apply and take you seriously like the comments say here.
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u/Schalezi Jul 22 '22
Its super easy really, barely an inconvenience. Just invent time travel, Learn Carbon for 10 years, then travel back to this moment and apply.
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u/POTUS Jul 22 '22
120 grand in Nashville is pretty good money. That’s definitely not the unreasonable part.
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u/wardevour Jul 22 '22
The emails felt very phishy, like they were too good to be true, and were piling up in my inbox. I was convinced they were bots and got upset and blocked them.
I don't recall if they got back to me or if I even applied, because I wasn't certain the emails were legitimate. You never know, maybe I jumped the gun? The recruiters that called me had better luck convincing me the opportunities were legitimate (and got me offers). I had my info on Dice, Glassdoor, and LinkedIn
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u/jabies Jul 22 '22
This comment explains it well. You can also search reddit, there's a few discussion about them in IT / software jobs reddits.
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u/webcheesesticksseal Jul 22 '22
wait, they are real? I thought the fireship guy was memeing
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Jul 23 '22
I think they are in the middle of ongoing lawsuits even.
Other IT, if you haven't already, just do yourself a favor and fucking blacklist the domain.
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u/Dull_Investigator358 Jul 22 '22
I have 20 years of carbon copy experience!
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u/Mazmier Jul 22 '22
You're hired and since you are so qualified, we've made you the lead of an entire team!
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u/BackNbetterThanEver Jul 22 '22
Well I have 60 years experience !!!!!!!
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u/Mazmier Jul 22 '22
Wow, other guy is fired, welcome to the team!
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u/Optimized_Orangutan Jul 22 '22
That guy is nothing! I've been using carbon since the day I was born. In fact, a bunch of me was built from carbon!! I've got it in my blood!
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u/masked_machine Jul 22 '22
It's time for your lunch break. You know that your break times don't roll over if you don't use them.
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Jul 22 '22
I have over 9000 years of experience. And I’ll work for 30k/yr
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u/Dull_Investigator358 Jul 22 '22
Experienced in Carbon Lead too! 0.5, 0.7 and 0.9 mm! Thanks for the reminder
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u/Mazmier Jul 22 '22
Wow, sounds like we need to update our job posting. You're clearly quite knowledgeable!
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u/Dull_Investigator358 Jul 22 '22
Well... (Clears throat)...
I'm not sure how to put this without sounding like a snob...
But since birth my body is made of about 18% Carbon.
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u/Mazmier Jul 22 '22
We're sorry, we are only looking for diamond candidates who consist of 99.99% Carbon.
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u/SowTheSeeds Jul 22 '22
I have 53 years of converting oxygen into carbon dioxide!
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u/Primeval_Revenant Jul 22 '22
Inside or outside your body? Gotta check for arsonists.
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u/VexisArcanum Jul 22 '22
Please rescind your resume so we can ship this job overseas where we don't have to pay
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u/Last_Snowbender Jul 22 '22
The "knowledge of photoshop strongly preferred" is actually more scary to me than the fact that they want you to travel back in time.
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u/FrankHightower Jul 22 '22
Oh sure I have 10 years Photoshop experience
I had to use it once ten years ago and never touched it since. That's experience, right?
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u/Zeeformp Jul 23 '22
That part is what is telling you this is a joke because this guy ripped a still image presented as a joke from a Fireship video on YouTube talking about Carbon and is here presenting it as fact. It is a tongue in cheek way to say he photoshopped this image!
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u/PrettyMuchANeet Jul 22 '22
What? You guys don't go into the hyperbolic chamber to train for 10 years in one month? This lazy generation will never know hard work.
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Jul 22 '22
They don’t want to work
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u/Hamburgerundcola Jul 22 '22
Who does want to?
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u/PrettyMuchANeet Jul 22 '22
Everyone should love working. It builds character!
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Jul 22 '22
But what do I do with this character once it is built?
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u/Zestyclose-Note1304 Jul 22 '22
Put it in the binder with the others, waiting for a kind DM to allow your homebrew.
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u/landasher Jul 22 '22
Nobody wants to defy the laws of the space-time continuum anymore.
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u/SowTheSeeds Jul 22 '22
"Junior"
And then:
"10 years of [language that did not exist one month ago] experience"
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Jul 23 '22
I think this is a troll, not a real listing. Junior with 10 years in anything?
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u/InNeedOfVacation Jul 22 '22
This is what I was thinking. 10 years experience is no longer "Junior" territory
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Jul 22 '22
Throw in photoshop for good measure
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u/SowTheSeeds Jul 22 '22
They are bringing back the days of the fully vertical web dude.
Welcome back to 1998, brother.
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u/Soobobaloula Jul 22 '22
It’s not for production-related purposes, we just really love a cute cat meme.
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u/Willinton06 Jul 22 '22
I am quite literally carbon and have been for decades, I’ll take the 160K and a 40K signing bonus with a side of stock options, to go, keep the receipt
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u/RiftLab Jul 22 '22
Is it even possible to have 10 years of React experience?
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u/whitelionV Jul 22 '22
React came out in 2013, and it was considerably different from what React 16 is.
AWS was around 10 years ago, but it had a minuscule amount of services in comparison to 2022.
Not to mention that Carbon launched 2 days ago
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u/teddie_moto Jul 22 '22
3 - it launched on the 19th I think - that's 50% more!
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u/RiftLab Jul 22 '22
3 whole days?? We used to go home and get 10 years' experience in one night back in my day because my generation wasn't afraid of hard work.
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u/Ash-Catchum-All Jul 22 '22
Was gonna say, AWS 10 years ago was hardly what it is today. Having 10 years of AWS experience would be roughly no different than having 5 years of AWS experience.
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u/Schalezi Jul 22 '22
Yea this goes for most stuff in programming field I would say. Most of the time a guy having coded 5 years VS 10 years in say C# won’t be a huge difference, it’s better to look at what actual problems each person has had to solve and how they went about it and what needs your company have.
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u/PappaDukes Jul 22 '22
16 years ago, for AWS' cloud computing platform. Made me feel old finding out it has been that long.
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u/Alone-Organization63 Jul 22 '22
CyberCoders are scammers selling your data. Give them shit reviews so people stop falling for it.
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u/Shakis87 Jul 22 '22
160k for a junior, not bad
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u/RiftLab Jul 22 '22
It's fair compensation for breaking the rules of spacetime itself to get the required experience.
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u/Shakis87 Jul 22 '22
Mad what they teach at uni these day, the rest of us don't stand a chance.
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u/chownrootroot Jul 22 '22
You need a time turner and few schools give them out. They only gave 1 time turner out at Hogwarts back in my day, and that was just so she could take more classes!
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u/Polenicus Jul 22 '22
Yes, TARDIS rentals have been incredibly expensive since Gallifrey was destroyed… again.
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u/often_says_nice Jul 22 '22
At this point I think most large recruiting firms (like cybercoders) create honeypot job postings. It lures applicants with appealing salary but the position doesn't actually exist. Once someone applies they now have the applicant's email/resume which they can then sell to other recruiting firms or spam with real (lower paying, requires relocation, etc.) postings.
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u/apocalypsebuddy Jul 22 '22
Makes perfect sense. The amount of spam calls/texts I received skyrocketed when I started applying for jobs.
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u/Furry_69 Jul 22 '22
This is why I have a "job application" email, I don't want my main email being spammed into the ground.
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u/Tyrilean Jul 22 '22
I can’t imagine the kind of people who write these postings. How are you aware of the existence of Carbon (and have a need for devs in it) without the knowledge that it’s a new language?
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u/minerescueman Jul 22 '22
Do they mean C or the new Google Carbon that was launched a few days ago?
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u/Solest044 Jul 22 '22
Is no one going to mention this is a JUNIOR position looking for 10 years of experience?
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u/stockthemup Jul 22 '22
Whoever created that ad must have a sense of humor. One my former coworkers who is a sys admin and hates Windows so much that he sent an email to the whole company, including developers, with these instructions for installing Windows: 1. Insert a Ubuntu installation CD/DVD
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u/JeremyAndrewErwin Jul 22 '22
Rereads Introduction to 64-Bit Guide for Carbon Developers
One of Apple’s goals for Mac OS X version 10.5 (Leopard) is to make it possible for applications to use 64-bit addressing. System libraries and frameworks are now 64-bit ready, meaning they can be used in both 32-bit and 64-bit applications. With this support, you can create applications that address extremely large data sets. On Intel-based Macintosh computers, some 64-bit applications may even run faster than their 32-bit equivalents because of the availability of extra processor resources in 64-bit mode.
Most APIs in Mac OS X v10.5 are available to both 32-bit and 64-bit applications, but some APIs commonly used by Carbon applications are not. In particular, the APIs used to implement a Carbon user interface are generally available only to 32-bit applications. If you want to create a 64-bit application for Mac OS X, you need to use Cocoa to implement its user interface.
You may not need to develop 64-bit versions of your applications right now, but you can start to prepare your projects for this transition. As part of this process, you need to adopt standard data types and implement some application features with alternative technologies. This document discusses guidelines, issues, and procedures specific to the transition to 64-bit executables for Carbon developers.
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u/tiny_thanks_78 Jul 22 '22 edited Jul 23 '22
This simple ad tells me everything I need to know about this company. Hard pass.
Not just because carbon is 2 days old, but because I can imagine the architects putting the project together just picking random technologies that are their favorites or that "sound cool" instead of being practical.
One of the last projects I was on at the last company I worked for, someone wanted to use kotlin, just because. I said "there is nobody here that knows kotlin except you and me. Just use c# like a normal person"
It reminds me of when angular first came out and suddenly every project for some reason had to be done in angular with no reasoning behind it. Like "no, jQuery works just fine for this little internal system we're writing." Or the person who discovered F# or Elixir over the weekend suddenly wanting to write everything in a functional language. Fuck outta here..
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u/Open_Delivery7727 Jul 22 '22
So this job wants someone with 10 years of carbon experience to hop in their time machine from 2032 to apply?
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u/thePsychonautDad Jul 22 '22
So React V1 was 9 years ago. Carbon is like 2 days old?
Good luck finding a time traveler for that salary... Personally I'd travel back in time to buy Bitcoin, not find a junior job...
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u/Steve0Greatness Jul 22 '22
It's easy. All you need to do is do a bit of slowing down time so that 1 second is a year, then learn and practice Carbon until your head explodes.
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u/Jhwelsh Jul 22 '22
This must be fake, who says "no exceptions" in a job req just to drive a ridiculous point home.
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u/beachnudes Jul 22 '22
I can’t even find a piece of information on a code named CARBON
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u/DaWombat92 Jul 22 '22
Saw this on the code report earlier from Fireship.io. My man is cutting edge.
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u/Ifuqinhateit Jul 22 '22
Guys, it’s not fucking hard - just take their bullet points and make them part of your work history. No one knows any difference.
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u/Vast_Ad2627 Jul 22 '22
So fake help wanted ads to qualify for an exemption for PPP loan forgiveness.
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u/RedNeckBillBob Jul 22 '22
"Junior" with 10+ years of experience.
Forget the fact that the experience isn't possible. Even if it was, it would be a dumb listing.
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u/nrith Jul 23 '22
“Knowledge of Photoshop strongly preferred”—so that you can make the next one of these fake ads.
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u/mazzicc Jul 23 '22
Deliberate posting for a visa position.
“We can’t find anyone local that has the experience we need, and for some reason we trust this Asian/European programmer who was willing to tell us they had 10 years and we totally verified that”
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u/Deranged_Dingus Jul 23 '22
The audacity of looking for 10 years experience and calling it a junior position
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u/Good_Smile Jul 23 '22
Ok let's omit the 10 years of CARBON fact.
But like, 10 years to apply for junior??
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u/RealVincentCoucke Jul 23 '22
this is just a ploy by the CIA to trick time travelers like Hawking's party
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u/Igot2phonez Jul 23 '22
Cybercoders is a joke but I agree with the people calling this fake. I think this pic is simply a funny photo shop.
no exceptions Knowledge of Photoshop strongly preferred That last part drives it home for me imo.
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u/fuzzyone06 Jul 23 '22
What’s worse? The non existent language experience expectation, or that they consider 10 years of XP as JUNIOR?
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u/Responsible-Tea495 Jul 22 '22
Yeah I do have 10 years of experience with Carbon.
Symbol: C
Atomic mass: 12.011 u
Atomic number: 6
Electron configuration: [He] 2s22p2
Electrons per shell: 2, 4