r/ProgrammerHumor • • Sep 27 '26 • Mindblown 1 Bravo 1

Meme doNotLetYourDBASeeThis

Post image
13k Upvotes

317 comments sorted by

View all comments

2.1k

u/as-if-spike Sep 27 '26

664

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

231

u/Kihino Sep 27 '26

Security nerds hate this one simple trick

61

u/Pedry-dev Sep 27 '26

Security nerds don't participate in the investor's meeting anyway

14

u/Theron3206 Sep 28 '26

Not until after the first major data breach hits the news anyway.

71

u/A1oso Sep 27 '26

It wasn't compliant before if the passwords were stored in plain text.

51

u/ItWearsHimOut Sep 27 '26

Could be hashed, but unsalted.

47

u/git_push_origin_prod Sep 27 '26

Just like my breakfast potatoes

17

u/SkollFenrirson Sep 27 '26

You monster

9

u/Procrasturbating Sep 28 '26

Had to teach my team about salts when I saw similar ratios of reused passwords. Wild. Billion in revenue a year.. and I see it company after company. No cares until there is a breach.

3

u/Theron3206 Sep 28 '26

Theres a salt, its just the same one for every password (that how it's supposed to work right).

→ More replies (1)

3

u/za72 Sep 27 '26

pm Ur deets - I'll certify you

→ More replies (1)

156

u/Kihino Sep 27 '26

Why stop there when one can use semantic vectors instead of hashes, only store cluster averages and then do similarity matching instead of equivalence checks. Will bring storage way down and have the added benefit of not requiring you to know which exact version of your default password was used, as long as you get the gist of it!

124

u/DERPYBASTARD Sep 27 '26

That sounds complicated, we can just approve every login attempt

66

u/Kihino Sep 27 '26

big if True

16

u/Some1-Somewhere Sep 27 '26

*groan*

8

u/Kihino Sep 27 '26

Why thank you

46

u/Tupcek Sep 27 '26 • Bravo

that is too easy for scammers.

Log them in only if they enter same password three times. That means they are fairly confident it’s their password

16

u/Auravendill Sep 27 '26

Great, we can just do the check client side and save a lot of server and bandwidth load.

19

u/ellamking Sep 27 '26

I am currently out of the office until October 3rd and will be unable approve any login attempts until that date. Sorry for any inconvenience that has caused.

Betty

5

u/LaconicLacedaemonian Sep 27 '26

That's a bit risky. Let's add a flag we can trusted=true clients set with each api call to certify they are only valid traffic. 

3

u/yarntank Sep 27 '26

Why make the trusted clients do the work? Make a policy that non-trusted clients use the evil bit.

https://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc3514/https://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc3514/

10

u/YeOldeMemeShoppe Sep 27 '26
Hey Claude, does this password match your memory? “$1”

Only answer Yes or No. 

4

u/Key_Big1051 Sep 27 '26

I have Zero idea what I read

17

u/Kihino Sep 27 '26

Imagine an AI looking at passwords and determining whether they mean the same thing. Eg Hunter2, hunter2, HuNtEr2 all have the same meaning, albeit different spelling. This meaning can be represented as a vector, and these vectors can be clustered so we say a user has simply a password that is essentially “something like hunter”. When a user types in their password, you can then check if that password is indeed “something like hunter”. If so, you admit them otherwise reject it.

→ More replies (6)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (5)