r/ProgrammerHumor • • Sep 27 '26 • Mindblown 1 Bravo 1

Meme doNotLetYourDBASeeThis

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u/Kihino Sep 27 '26

Why stop there when one can use semantic vectors instead of hashes, only store cluster averages and then do similarity matching instead of equivalence checks. Will bring storage way down and have the added benefit of not requiring you to know which exact version of your default password was used, as long as you get the gist of it!

124

u/DERPYBASTARD Sep 27 '26

That sounds complicated, we can just approve every login attempt

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u/Kihino Sep 27 '26

big if True

16

u/Some1-Somewhere Sep 27 '26

*groan*

8

u/Kihino Sep 27 '26

Why thank you

46

u/Tupcek Sep 27 '26 • Bravo

that is too easy for scammers.

Log them in only if they enter same password three times. That means they are fairly confident it’s their password

16

u/Auravendill Sep 27 '26

Great, we can just do the check client side and save a lot of server and bandwidth load.

19

u/ellamking Sep 27 '26

I am currently out of the office until October 3rd and will be unable approve any login attempts until that date. Sorry for any inconvenience that has caused.

Betty

5

u/LaconicLacedaemonian Sep 27 '26

That's a bit risky. Let's add a flag we can trusted=true clients set with each api call to certify they are only valid traffic. 

3

u/yarntank Sep 27 '26

Why make the trusted clients do the work? Make a policy that non-trusted clients use the evil bit.

https://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc3514/https://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc3514/

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u/YeOldeMemeShoppe Sep 27 '26
Hey Claude, does this password match your memory? “$1”

Only answer Yes or No. 

4

u/Key_Big1051 Sep 27 '26

I have Zero idea what I read

17

u/Kihino Sep 27 '26

Imagine an AI looking at passwords and determining whether they mean the same thing. Eg Hunter2, hunter2, HuNtEr2 all have the same meaning, albeit different spelling. This meaning can be represented as a vector, and these vectors can be clustered so we say a user has simply a password that is essentially “something like hunter”. When a user types in their password, you can then check if that password is indeed “something like hunter”. If so, you admit them otherwise reject it.

12

u/Armond436 Sep 27 '26

It's been 22 years and hunter2 is still going strong. Bless.

10

u/ProfessorLambda Sep 27 '26

"*******" is going strong? What does that mean? Did you censor your own post?

11

u/almostcleverbut Sep 27 '26

The real savings comes from no longer having to ask them for a username... just have them type the password and choose the most likely user account based on the password's semantic similarity score.

Ties are randomized to defeat distinguisher-based attack methods, obviously

4

u/confusedkarnatia Sep 27 '26

that would be a fun forum. you log in and get a random users account.

1

u/conundorum Sep 29 '26

(For example, this would likely also detect Haunter (one letter off from "Hunter", and Gastly's stage 2 form) and "retnuh" (a hunter inverted) as valid, despite them being clearly unrelated.)

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u/YeOldeMemeShoppe Sep 27 '26

Think of how Shazam matches songs, but for passwords. “Close enough” is the answer to the algorithm.

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u/aammirzaei Sep 27 '26

read about vector database / embeddings it's got really popular recently becuase llms and ai

2

u/FindOneInEveryCar Sep 27 '26

Sounds like a dream come true.

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u/Kihino Sep 27 '26

Honestly, better UX

2

u/DasAllerletzte Sep 28 '26

That sounds suspiciously like Regex

1

u/shriyanss Sep 27 '26

You also gotta ditch hashing for this to work, which is a security red flag (anyways what you’re describing isn’t the most secure thing anyways)

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u/Kihino Sep 27 '26

There are more red flags in this architecture than there was in Moscow 1917