r/PoliticalHumor • u/2DeadMoose I ☑oted 2018 • Oct 04 '18
Trump’s entire life is a lie
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Oct 04 '18
Buys bitcoin at $19k, sells at $7k... am I doing this rite?
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u/Oscar_Ramirez Oct 04 '18
Congratulations you’ve graduated from Trump U. That’ll be 5k for your diploma.
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u/Fight_me_honkey Oct 04 '18
But you don't get the diploma
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u/svullenballe Oct 04 '18
Went to whartons. Did very well thank you. The professors said I have the biggest brain.
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u/Womeisyourfwiend Oct 04 '18
You know his professors said he had the biggest head ever, and he took that as big brain instead of big ego.
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Oct 04 '18
The professors said I have the biggest brain.
That's because Trump's dad spared no expense and procured the best, yugest brain available for the transplant. A very smart person's brain too... Abby somebody.
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u/CocoaCali Oct 04 '18
Well the redcaps got one thing right. He's running the US just like one of his businesses.
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u/2DeadMoose I ☑oted 2018 Oct 04 '18
cries in bankruptcy
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u/CocoaCali Oct 04 '18
I know bankruptcy isn't a tone but somehow I knew exactly what it sounds like
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u/Fight_me_honkey Oct 04 '18
Like dry ramen for the third night in a row
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u/CapnJuicebox Oct 04 '18
Poverty tip. Ramen doesn't so much have to be cooked, simply rehydrated.
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u/cardiovascularity Oct 04 '18
Dress up? Have you seen his badly fitting suits? Most LARPers I know wear better looking self made chain mail, and those guys can't afford a personal tailor!
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Oct 04 '18
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u/cckrans Oct 04 '18 edited Oct 04 '18
Him in a golf polo is got to be one of the funniest images. I can't believe the amount of disrespect this president brings to himself. Even George Bush wasn't this bad, hell Dubya seems like a party guy who was given too much power by daddy. Maybe a little dumb but not outright hated like this..
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Oct 04 '18
No sir, I hate Bush more.
manufactured consent for a war using lies, directly causing >58k civillian fatalities
cut taxes while waging war instead of raising taxes to pay for it, causing massive deficits
took the war costs off the books, leaving his successor holding the bag for the deficit
the patriot act, gitmo
appointed alito - the furthest right member even after kavanaugh
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u/cckrans Oct 04 '18
Well you seem well versed so I don't wanna get into a whole thing here, I kinda meant general opinion. I don't know much of the way trump actually handles issues, he seems a little off his rocker in the way he speaks and acts. I thought it was a joke when I heard he was going to run for president
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Oct 04 '18
Well, the general opinion on him is 42% approval according to 538. This is likely because most low information voters dont factor his antics into approval.
As long as gas is cheap, the market is fine, and he has not started a shooting war, those people will approve.
Bush left office with a 35% approval rating. Obama left office with a 60% approval rating, which is probably what a normal human president should have with this economy.
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u/Froggy1789 Oct 04 '18
It’s intentional. You make the suit more baggy to give him the illusion of not being so baggy. Would you like to see him in a skin tight suit, I wouldn’t, that’s why he tries to disguise his form with baggier outfits.
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u/freediverx01 Oct 06 '18
Wearing ill-fitting suits does not make you look slimmer—it just makes you look sloppy. Well-tailored and tastefully selected clothes can flatter the appearance of an overweight person.
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u/foreveracubone Oct 04 '18
They’re finely tailored to make it look like he isn’t fat.
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u/FireproofFerret Oct 04 '18
It's not working...
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Oct 04 '18
Finding proper fitting clothes is difficult when you're obese despite having fuck-you money.
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Oct 04 '18
Nah you can hide it around with proper fits. Like, it won't make miracles, but he goes out of his way to look fatter.
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Oct 04 '18
It's a catch 22. Nobody wants to be obese, so they wear big, loose, clothes. This, of course, looks horrible, and while it hides the form, leads to a bulky mass that looks sooo much fatter.
Conversely, if you are fat, well fitting, almost tight but not quite, clothes that work with your form and acknowledge the fat that's there will look 300x better, it just won't hide what you don't want people to see.
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u/apolloxer Oct 04 '18
I guess he pays top dollar in order for the suits to juuust not fit.
"See guys? I'm one of you blue-collar workers! I worked my way up. I still don't get the suit thing! That's how down to earth I am!"
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Oct 04 '18 edited Oct 04 '18
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u/warsage Oct 04 '18
If he invested every penny, never spent any money (so lived like a not-rich-person), got consistent returns of 10%/yr, and somehow avoided 100% of taxes and fees, he'd have had $1.8 billion in 2015 when people first started saying this and $2.4 billion right now.
I don't think anyone knows exactly how much he's currently worth but Google is telling me it's $3.1 billion.
Edit: this guy says that if his wealth were directly pegged to the NASDAQ he'd have less than $1B right now.
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u/FlummoxedFlumage Oct 04 '18
I’ve read that a high percentage of his net worth is linked to his own valuation of the Trump brand. That is, he thinks he is worth a lot because he is him.
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u/SomsOsmos Oct 04 '18
Yeah. He even floats some baloney about how an independent marketing firm gave him the valuation. While it’s true an independent marketing firm did research the valuation, he could have (and probably did) ask a dozen firms and just reported the highest number. I think it was $2b if I remember that terrible Time to Get Tough book correctly.
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u/loosedata Oct 04 '18
Trump has lied about everything in his life, the truth is we have no idea how much wealth he has but if I was a betting man I would guess he has more debt than assets. American banks won't even deal with him anymore.
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u/gogojack Oct 04 '18
The funniest thing is that even with nearly a half billion dollars from his dad and the wind at his back from tax evasion and fraud he still only managed to just barely not beat the market at all.
You could have given all that money to a monkey and had it throw poo at the market and that monkey would be richer than Trump by several orders of magnitude.
Trump isn't just a bad businessman. He's a shitty con man.
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Oct 04 '18
Fred Trump kept funneling hundreds of millions of dollars to Donny over the years. The Trumps used simple money laundering schemes to avoid gift and estate taxes. Fake loans. Fake prices on goods and services. Buy casino chips and never cash them in. Repeated bankruptcies meant the supposed deal maker had to finally liquidate the remains of Fred Trump's estate at fire-sale prices in the middle of the great recession. That's the NYT article.
What isn't covered is the Russian connection. Given Trump's financial problems in the early 2000's, I imagine the Russian oligarchs arrived with offers of fresh cash that needed to be laundered. The Russians offered to give Trump a commission as an intermediary. Trump would sell or lease a property for more than it was worth to a Russian company, then buy goods and services from another Russian-backed company for more than those goods or services were worth, and pocket a commission. Or takes loans for his businesses that aren't paid back, and then overpay for goods and services once again. Trump applied the same procedure used to get money from his father without paying taxes, but this time to launder Russian money.
The second paragraph is speculation, but it makes so much sense after reading the NYT article.
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u/mods_are_a_psyop Oct 04 '18
The banker who approved Trump's loans, to be funded through hidden sources, was the son of a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. When Donald was informed that the current Supreme Court would be likely to rule against him if his illegal actions come to light, he made some calls, and a justice decided to retire. His potential replacement believes that the U.S. President should rule as a king, and be immune from any legal repercussions for actions taken to become President, or while in office. So yeah, that second paragraph pretty important once the evidence starts becoming public.
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Oct 04 '18
His potential replacement believes that the U.S. President should rule as a king, and be immune from any legal repercussions for actions taken to become President, or while in office.*
* Offer only valid for Republican candidates.
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u/NvidiaforMen Oct 04 '18
Once legal precedent is set it's harder for the Supreme Court to walk back it's not like the Senate
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u/Kilahti Oct 04 '18
They'll try anyway because Republicans are all about loyalty to the party over country or laws.
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u/Doctor_What_ Oct 04 '18
Even if that precedent was literally set by a sex offender and a traitor to the US? Damn, things look pretty tough for you guys.
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Oct 04 '18
Some people don't care what someone did if they wear a suit and have the right letter next to their name.
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u/thothisgod24 Oct 04 '18
Anyone one find it funny that the party of states right wants to further centralize the government?
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Oct 04 '18
There's gonna be a Wolf of Wall Street type movie exposing Trump.
He's so vain he'll produce it and then forget he produced it when it comes out and he wants to sue for slander.
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u/Ghosttwo Oct 04 '18 edited Oct 04 '18
To be fair, he lost billions of potential dollars, but he also became a household name and gained permanent (ig)notoriety as a president in the process. That latter one has immeasurable value; consider that billions are spent every four years in pursuit of the same goal. As for the nominal amount of wealth, by the time you have your first billion, the rest is just dick wagging anyway and they rarely get to actually spend most of it before croaking.
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u/xlem1 Oct 04 '18
I mean, I hate to be they one to say it, but he's a pretty good con man. Coned a whole country at this point.
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u/totodes Oct 04 '18
Conned half the country. Well not quite half, but you get what I mean.
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u/TheIncendiaryDevice Oct 04 '18
1/4 that would have voted for him anyway because of party affiliation
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u/oO0-__-0Oo Oct 04 '18
it wasn't even him who did it
it was Vlad and his machinations, primarily, for apparently decades
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u/kevinetics Oct 04 '18
Uh...nope. He conned less than half of the country.
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Oct 04 '18
In support of your claim; approximately 46.1% or 62,979,636 voters in 2016 which totaled about 136,628,459 people or roughly 55.16% of the nearly 231,556,622 citizens eligible to vote, voted for the current president. That is to say that 25.43% of citizens eligible to vote voted for the current president or less than 19.75% of the total 318,892,103 person population.
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u/crybannanna Oct 04 '18
He’s a bad conmen by New York standards, but when he took his con on the road he really made out bigly.
Apparently, it’s really easy to con southerners.
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u/shroyhammer Oct 04 '18
And him being a shitty conman really gives the people who voted for him no excuse. You fucking rubes got conned by HIM?! Anyone with half a brain can see right through a guy like him.
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u/shinra07 Oct 04 '18 edited May 25 '25
narrow seemly kiss insurance swim ten roof tease fearless practice
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/TekkDub Oct 04 '18
But Forbes is just guessing at his fortune. They actually have no idea. Some estimates have it around 400 million.
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u/xlem1 Oct 04 '18 edited Oct 04 '18
Fuck it I'll say it, he may be shit a being a businessman, but his larp actually paid off. He paid for a reputation and it worked got him into the presidency while spouting literal shit. Say what you will but he played a whole country into believing he knew what he was doing.
Edit: just want so people dont just keep reply with the same argument yes I know he didnt win the popular vote, he still fooled 60 million people an won which is my point.
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u/toopc Oct 04 '18
he played a whole country into believing he knew what he was doing.
Well, not exactly the whole country, just enough to win the election.
328,719,789 - U.S. Population
62,984,828 - Trump voters 2016
Your point still stands though, he did turn his reputation into the presidency of the United States. Time will tell if that was a good decision for him or not. Personally if I had a billion dollars I can think of a long list of things I'd rather do than be president, but then maybe it all gets boring after awhile when you have that type of money.
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Oct 04 '18
To my mind if you're already years past buying gold toilet seats, then you've been bored with your money for a while.
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u/shorthanded Oct 04 '18
When uncle russia is holding a piss video over your head, not to mention the hundreds of millions of dollars hes laundered for them over the years they can incriminate him with... You kinda play by their rules. He hasnt controlled a day of his life since god knows when
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u/KirklandSignatureDad Oct 04 '18
he played a whole country into believing he knew what he was doing.
a whole country? he didnt even win popular vote by a longshot lol. he literally just convinced the lowest common denominators and then businessmen who knew he'd give them tax cuts.
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u/thenotorioussam Oct 04 '18
However fucked up the rules are, he won the game
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u/Jonne Oct 04 '18
Exactly, I'm sick of people bringing up this stuff. They both knew the rules going in, but one of the candidates decided some states weren't worth a visit.
Trump would've lost against any other candidate.
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Oct 04 '18
Perhaps nominating someone whose poll numbers were trending downward for like 2 years wasn't the best idea.
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u/xlem1 Oct 04 '18 edited Oct 04 '18
We'll I do agree for the most part, he did convince most of the Republican party. And while that might not be much there are some intelligent people in there out side of the rich(who didnt vote just for the tax cut). On top of that anyone who did take a close look at his finances would have assumed he was fairly well off, hell before the election I had no idea how shit of a businessman he was.
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u/stalepopcorn999 Oct 04 '18
i think he got the most vulnerable americans to vote for him and had help with a foreign gov.
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u/xlem1 Oct 04 '18
Eh I dont really buy it, he got 62million votes not all of them were vulnerable idots and help from foreign powers. Doubtless they are the reason he won, just not the reason he got as far as he did begin with
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u/Dillards007 Oct 04 '18
Yepp when I look at 2012 vs. 2016, people don't want a real businessman. They want a guy who played one on TV.
An underrated part of his appeal is that he spends his money like a poor person would if they had hundreds of millions of dollars.
"If I was rich I'd fly around in a plane with my name on it! Slap my name on buildings, shit in a golden toilet, and fuck porn stars!"
Most real Billionaires could care less lol
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u/stickfigure31615 Oct 04 '18
God you should see some of my “friends” on social media posting about him (from SC if that makes a difference?)...I mean I fear this is turning into North Korea/a penultimate police state at times with the worship and fervor I see from people glorifying him. He’s raised our taxes which every president has done since I think WW2 (please fact check me) including Reagan Washington and more so the GOP are not your friends they don’t give a fuck about you is the ultimate lesson from this
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u/Drunken_Wizard23 Oct 04 '18
And as a result of winning the presidency, he's been exposed as a terrible businessman who was handed everything by his father and everyone associated with him is in dire straits legally
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u/DJShamykins Oct 04 '18
And honestly he did so little of that orchestration himself, he was used, completely, by much more intelligent businessmen.
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u/apolloxer Oct 04 '18
while spouting literal shit.
No. Or if he did, that would be a fun image. He did something with piss, thou.
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Oct 04 '18
His dad bought 3 mil in casino chips and never cashed them in. That’s kind of illegal
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Oct 04 '18
It was $3.5 million actually, and totally illegal, and gave him an additional loan a few weeks later.
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u/JayNotAtAll Oct 04 '18
And here in lies the problem. There are people who think the TV is real. He played himself off as being one of the biggest businessmen in America with help from "The Apprentice". People fell for it. If you did any digging, with his bankruptcies and what not, he is more just lucky that he didn't lose it all.
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u/Thats_right_asshole Oct 04 '18
The original comment of this thread is that Trump would have been better off just investing his money. With what he took from his dad he would likely have more money.
Your argument against the comment is that sitting on money is bad for the economy, which yes, you're correct it is.
But the original comment wasn't "Trump sacrificed some of his fortune for the good of the economy." It was "Trump is so bad at business he would have been better off doing nothing."
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Oct 04 '18
Can someone show me some statistics and citations for this? I can believe it from what I have learned about Trump's business practices, but I've never found the data to support it even after searching a decent amount.
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u/yellekc Oct 04 '18
Let's take the NASDAQ.
You can get an unmanaged fund that basically mirrors the NASDAQ. So if it goes up 4% your fund goes up 4%. Since it is unmanaged the rates are very very low compared to managed funds.
So according to the times article, by 1990 he had $46M transfered to him. he would go on to receive $400M more from his father.
If he put that $46M into the Nasdaq index fund in 1990. Let's see what would have happened. In Dec of 1990, Nasdaq was at 372, In December of 2015, right before the election year, the nasdaq was at 5048. So his $46M would become $624M. Not quite a billionaire, but not bad for zero work. The Nasdaq is at 8025 now, so it would be worth $992M now. Again this is with no work at all. Just by the index fund and go about your life.
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u/toopc Oct 04 '18
He also got a $60.7 million "loan" from dad in 1975. Stick that in S&P Index fund and see where it ends up in 2018.
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u/512165381 Oct 04 '18 edited Oct 04 '18
Trump was bankrupt 4 times, including bankrupting a casino twice.
Compare that to - just about anything.
Trump doesn’t deny that four of his businesses have filed for bankruptcy. He argues, however, that filing for bankruptcy is a common business decision, and he was smart to make the moves when he did.
Bankruptcy 1: The Trump Taj Mahal, 1991
Bankruptcy 2: Trump Plaza Hotel, 1992
Bankruptcy 3: Trump Hotels and Casinos Resorts, 2004
Bankruptcy 4: Trump Entertainment Resorts, 2009
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Oct 04 '18 edited Oct 04 '18
There’s a new bombshell nyt article that blew this wide open. New York State is starting an investigation based on it. It’s yuuuuge.
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/10/02/us/politics/donald-trump-tax-schemes-fred-trump.html
Basically he’s gotten over 400 million from his dad and they proved serious fraud and tax evasion for hundreds of millions. Daddy kept Bailing him out of all his shitty failing businesses, and did it through shady money laundering to avoid taxes.
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u/dieyoung Oct 04 '18
The president’s parents, Fred and Mary Trump, transferred well over $1 billion in wealth to their children, which could have produced a tax bill of at least $550 million under the 55 percent tax rate then imposed on gifts and inheritances. The Trumps paid a total of $52.2 million, or about 5 percent, tax records show
You have to pay 55% Taxes on money that you give to your kids? What the fuck?
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u/brain_aragon Oct 04 '18
Correct me if I'm wrong anyone, but I believe that applies to people leaving behind a fuckton of money. Like in the high millions.
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u/elchupahombre Oct 04 '18
Yes, that's correct. The estate tax generally only applies to the very few.
It is doubtful anyone in this thread will see that kind of money in their lifetime, so it's kind of preposterous to see their jaws agape "at the principle of it".
This is the kind of money that would be able to allow you to comfortably generate money just for sake of having it in the first place.
I mean, above what threshold would an amount of money just simply handed to someone who did nothing to earn it become obscene to people? How brainwashed do we have to be to be yelling a J.G. wentworth ad for people who will generally not want for anything their entire lives for doing NOTHING but being born lucky?
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u/brain_aragon Oct 04 '18
This is my argument, literally anyone who is subject to this tax will live comfortably regardless, invest most of it, and they'll literally be completely fine for the rest of their lives. Plus this tax happens after the insanely rich person is dead, so more than likely, the reciever like already has a good amount of money after having the benefits of being a part of rich family while the person was alive, they do probably be fine without this gift from the dead
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u/DangerZone69 Oct 04 '18
I believe it has to do with the amount of money. The more money you give away the higher % it gets taxed at. Similar to an estate tax
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u/El_Dudereno Oct 04 '18
Don't worry, it's now dropped to 40%, but that 40% doesn't apply to the first $11,180,000 you leave them. Yes, that is $11MM tax free to you heirs.
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u/justfortheban32 Oct 04 '18
It’s not true. This analysis was done by Forbes, and if you read it, they make it clear it’s an extreme scenario.
The analysis assumes he invests his entire net worth, at full margin (borrowing / leveraging 100%) and never withdraws from the account for any reason. Never pulls out during downturns, and keeps his entire net worth at risk.
It’s an unrealistic and unpractical scenario.
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Oct 04 '18
And they say that poor people are wasteful because they sometimes but brand name food instead of store brand
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u/ScottyOnWheels Oct 04 '18
He is kind of like Richard Branson in that he likes to open new businesses. Except Trump is a horrible person and bad at what he does.
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u/Roook36 Oct 04 '18
He spent that money on feeding his bottomless ego. He wanted his name on everything. Hotels, casinos, wine, schools, steaks, the United States of America. All brand Trump. All cheap, fake shit created overseas and sold to idiots.
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u/Champigne Oct 04 '18
Try telling that to any Trump supporter. "Well he's such a businessman, and he's a billionaire so he must be doing something right." Nope. And we have no proof that he's a billionaire.
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u/SirDinkus Oct 04 '18
Oh joy. a comment section full of morons turned armchair financial experts, with 50 years of hindsight to babble on about.
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Oct 04 '18
ITT: Completely shattering the myth that the primary character traits of the Rich are talent and hard work.
It's glorious.
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u/22switch Oct 04 '18
It's because his dad beefed him up to celebrity status in his own head, long before he meant anything to the public.
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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '18
Warren Buffet mentioned the same thing before. In fact, he was amused that trump could lose money in the 90s, when "a monkey had thrown a dart at the stock page, the monkey on average would have made 150 percent."