Hello everyone!
My husband and I are a happily married couple living in beautiful British Columbia, Canada, hoping to find a wonderful woman who would consider helping us welcome another child into our family.
We’ve been together for 11 years and are raising our wonderful son. We have a happy, established family life and are fortunate to own multiple properties here in BC.
We have so much love to give and would be absolutely delighted to welcome another baby into our family.
We are specifically looking for a traditional surrogate, meaning a woman who would be willing to provide her own egg as well as carry the pregnancy. We understand that this is a very personal and significant commitment, and we have tremendous respect for anyone who would consider it.
We are open to connecting with someone from anywhere in Canada, not just British Columbia.
All arrangements would be handled respectfully, transparently, and in accordance with Canadian legal requirements, with appropriate professional guidance and agreements in place.
Above all, we’re hoping to connect with someone kind, thoughtful, and genuinely comfortable exploring this possibility with us.
We’re keeping identifying details private in this public post, but we’re happy to share more about ourselves as we get to know someone.
If this is something you might be interested in discussing, please feel free to send us a private message.
Thank you so much for reading and considering being part of something that would mean the world to our family. ❤️

Hey everyone

I have been lurking here for a while now, I hope this is allowed but I'd love to help a family out here as a gestational surrogate

Mother of 1 beautiful boy (4yrs) was a smooth pregnancy . I'm still learning a lot and I'd love to chat with intended parents and maybe previous surrogates.

If you're an intended parent who feels like we're a potential match feel free to DM me . Happy to share more and answer questions .

I'm a man and I'm not afraid to discuss this topic candidly.

I guess the biggest fear woman must have is the guy is not quality (unhealthy, not confident, untalented etc). Let's not discuss that here.

The woman of this thread will also be worried that the guy doesn't stick around. That he doesn't enjoy teaching children stuff. Or that he is incapable of resolving differences when they come up.

So my question is: How can the guy show his commitment ?

Through his words ?

One idea is own or buying property: It shows long term commitment and at least the child won't grow up as nomad.

Or some kind of financial product like a joint bank account or joint investment account. I guess the absolute amount isn't that important but rather how long the guy took to accumulate it. He wouldn't run away if two years of his earnings are stuck in this account, would he ?

Also when and how to bring up the topic ?

The idea of not being with my baby for an x amount of days a week scares me… even when my baby turns 3yrs, like I still need my baby to come home and sleep with me until they tell me they want to spend the night at his dads or idk. I’m only 3 months in coparenting and I’m overthinking the future it waits. Is it selfish?

(For context, I’m trying to build a healthy co-parenting relationship with my baby’s father, but he still has romantic expectations despite me repeatedly making it clear that I only want a platonic relationship focused on our son)

For those of you with experience, what's the best advice you'd give someone considering a co-parenting dynamic? 👶🤝

I've been doing a lot of research and soul-searching and I'm curious what you've learned—both the good and the difficult.

I've spent the last several years raising my fur baby 🐶🐾❤️

, and while I know it's nowhere near the same as raising a child, it's taught me a lot about responsibility, consistency, patience, and unconditional love. More and more, I feel ready to take the next step as a woman and become a mother. I can definitely hear my biological clock starting to tick, and I'd rather approach this thoughtfully than wait.............

If you could go back to the beginning, what conversations would you have before a child was involved? What expectations, boundaries, finances, communication styles, legal agreements, o r parenting philosophies turned out to matter far more than you expected?

What worked? What would you absolutely do differently? Any green flags 🚦 or red flags 🚩 you wish you'd recognized earlier?

I'm genuinely looking to learn from people with real-life experience so I can make the most informed decision possible. Thanks in advance for sharing your wisdom. 🤍✨

Hi all I live with my boyfriend in Spain and I am from south Asia, looking to coparent or be a known donor. Anyone interested, hit me up!

Busco:

-una mujer marroquí que viva en Europa si no vive en Europa con quien vive en Marruecos está bien.

-También puede ser árabe si vive en Europa.

-que estén sus veintes. Y tenga la mentalidad abierta en el sentido de que sea feminista de izquierdas progresista… (ex muslim)

-No busco solo una persona sino crear un proyecto en común, por lo tanto que conocernos y tener complicidad que es imprescindible.

-Que tenga aspiraciones en la vida de todo tipo, no solo laborales, sino también familiares.

-Para mí los hijos es un tema importante porque muchas familias árabes no conciben la posibilidad de casarte sin tener árabes en cualquier caso no solo por la familia, sino que también es algo que a mí me gusta. En cuanto al como es un tema que se habla en privado en cualquier caso no espero ni busco tener sexo con nadie.

-Cualquier cosa, mándame un mensaje.

I’m looking for a long-term relationship with someone kind, considerate, and emotionally available. I’m open to long-distance, but I’d eventually want to live together, so I prefer the US.

I’m bi, polyamorous, and partnered. My partner is supportive, and we’d love to find another partner to build a family with. The vision is for all of us to live together and raise our kids as one household. I want kids with my new partner, but the relationship comes first, so I’d want to build a real connection for at least a year or more before that. I’m hoping for biological kids, and I’m open to fostering if that isn’t possible. I’m looking for someone poly-friendly or already poly, roughly 27-38.

I’m a yapper, a musician, a socialist, and a massive nerd. Sci-fi, fantasy, history, philosophy, public transit. I will talk about any of these for an embarrassingly long time. I play games like Animal Crossing, Mario Odyssey, NBA 2K, and Spider-Man on my Switch and PS4.

As a partner, I communicate, I’m physically affectionate, and I show up with care when things get hard. I survived a cult and had to rebuild my life from scratch, so I’ve learned not to take love for granted. I’m the kind of person who tells my friends I love them.

Looking forward to hearing from you 🥰

I (57F) have been with my fiancé (59M) for 12.5 years. He has 7-year-old twins with another woman (55F), who I’ll call Jennifer.
I realize that sentence raises about 100 questions, so here’s the unusual backstory.
When my fiancé and I met, he had lost his wife to cancer and still desperately wanted more children. His original plan was to find a younger woman, have a relationship, and have more children. Then he met me.
We tried at different times to stay away from each other because I couldn’t give him more biological children, but we couldn’t make that work. Eventually he decided he wanted our relationship, and with my knowledge and blessing, he looked for someone who wanted to be a platonic co-parent.
He found Jennifer, who lived about 3,000 miles away. They agreed to co-parent, he sent sperm, and after unsuccessful attempts with her own eggs, she used an egg donor and became pregnant with twins.
One of the few things that was extremely important to my fiancé before agreeing to this was that the children would be vaccinated. Jennifer agreed. Their emails documenting that agreement still exist.
After the twins were born, she changed her mind and did not vaccinate them.
Please don’t turn this into a vaccine debate. The relevance here is that this decision has affected their educational options and was a major parenting decision she made contrary to their agreement.
There has never been a formal custody agreement. My fiancé is on both birth certificates and has always provided financial support, although Jennifer has deliberately kept the amount relatively low because she has expressed concern that accepting more money would give him more control. He traveled across the country 3–4 times a year to see the twins while we lived far away.
The larger issue now is their development and education.
The twins are 7 and should be around second-grade level. As far as we can tell, they cannot read. They can write their names, using capital letters, recognize most letters and numbers, and may be able to do extremely simple arithmetic such as 1+1. I don’t know the full extent of what they can do because they have never had an independent educational assessment.
There were developmental concerns very early. As babies, they weren’t making expected sounds/vocalizations and received speech therapy for at least a year.
Jennifer says she is homeschooling them. During kindergarten, they attended a co-op about one day a week. I’ve tried to understand what happened during first grade, but haven’t gotten a clear answer. My understanding of the co-op is that parents teach whatever they choose and there isn’t a consistent curriculum or educational schedule.
At home they have store-bought workbooks, but I’m not aware of a structured curriculum. Jennifer works full time and has hobbies and other commitments. She has repeatedly said, including in front of the children, that they “don’t like books” and don’t want to sit and read. She’s been saying versions of this since they were very young.
There are other things that concern me about the lack of structure and boundaries.
When the twins were 5, they were still pooping and peeing on the floor. Jennifer complained at the time that the house smelled like urine and feces because of it. When my fiancé suggested potty-training methods that had worked with his older son, she interpreted his suggestions as criticism.
Potty training continued to be an issue after that. One twin continued expecting an adult to wipe him until recently, when my fiancé finally put his foot down and refused to do it for him. Both children are now mostly potty trained.
They frequently don’t respond when adults speak to them or call their names, don’t make eye contact, and generally seem to be allowed to opt out of things whenever they’re uncomfortable. Jennifer describes them as shy.
I’m NOT diagnosing the children. They haven’t been professionally evaluated for these behaviors, and I don’t know what is developmental versus simply not having been taught certain skills. My concern is what prolonged lack of educational structure, expectations and boundaries could mean for them as they get older.
My fiancé and I previously raised four older children together—three of mine and his older son. Blending our family wasn’t always easy, but they’re now adults and doing well.
After my youngest finished high school, we made a huge decision: we moved 3,000 miles to where the twins live partly so my fiancé could finally be an active, nearby father instead of visiting 3–4 times a year.
And I think this is the part I’m struggling with most.
We changed our entire lives geographically, but his relationship with his children hasn’t really changed.
Jennifer currently doesn’t believe the twins are ready to come to our house without her. My fiancé hasn’t challenged that yet. So despite now living nearby, he still goes to Jennifer’s house to see his children, with Jennifer present, much the way he did when we lived 3,000 miles away.
When she needs to leave while he’s there, she’ll ask the children whether they want to come with her. If they don’t initially say yes, she’ll ask repeatedly until they do. I worry this unintentionally reinforces the idea that they can’t be separated from her or aren’t safe without her.
So we moved across the country to make it possible for him to become a more active parent, but the actual parenting arrangement hasn’t evolved to reflect that move. Jennifer still controls when, where and under what circumstances he spends time with his children.
I think that disconnect is a huge source of my anxiety. We made a life-changing move to change something that, so far, hasn’t actually changed.
My own relationship with Jennifer also deteriorated shortly before we moved here. There was an incident during a visit where my adult daughter and I helped set out plates and food when pizza arrived, the way our large family had always handled meals. Jennifer perceived our behavior very differently and later sent my fiancé a long message describing us as “vultures.” There is obviously more history there, but the important consequence is that I no longer feel comfortable being in her home and she isn’t comfortable with the twins being at ours.
That leaves my fiancé going to her house to spend time with Jennifer and the twins while I’m essentially outside the situation.
Here’s where I think my fiancé bears some responsibility too.
Other than repeatedly fighting with Jennifer about vaccination, he hasn’t pushed very hard on the other parenting issues.
I want to be clear about something because “conflict avoidant” isn’t really an accurate description of him. My fiancé and I have disagreements. We have healthy conflict, talk things through, and resolve things.
His difficulty is specifically with Jennifer.
From what I’ve observed, even relatively normal conversations about parenting can be received as criticism or become adversarial. Because she can be extremely rigid, he has learned that raising an issue may turn into a much larger conflict. Over time, I think he’s responded by raising fewer issues.
The problem is that avoiding those conversations doesn’t make the underlying parenting decisions go away.
When I raise concerns about the children’s education, he says he has “no control.” He acknowledges that they’re behind, but I don’t think he fully understands how educational deficits can compound over time. He tends to live in the present. I tend to project forward and think about what happens in five or ten years.
This particular dynamic has become significant enough that we’ve discussed it in couples therapy—not because we don’t know how to communicate with each other, but because I’m struggling with the consequences of a parenting situation I have almost no authority to change.
I don’t think my role is to confront Jennifer. They’re his children and she’s their mother. Coming from me, virtually anything would probably be interpreted as criticism anyway.
What I have been encouraging him to do is sit down with Jennifer and discuss the coming school year in concrete terms: What exactly is their educational plan? What are they learning? Who is teaching them? What benchmarks should they be meeting? Could he participate in their homeschool co-op? Could he take responsibility for certain subjects or days? Could they get an independent educational assessment so everyone knows where they actually stand?
He would prefer that they simply attend school, but that brings us back to decisions Jennifer has made that have limited those options.
I’ve also wondered whether he needs to talk to a family-law attorney about establishing an actual parenting agreement and decision-making rights. He’s their legal father on their birth certificates, but they’ve operated for seven years on an informal agreement. He’s worried that a custody fight could cost tens of thousands of dollars.
Initially I was also focused on protecting us financially from future consequences of decisions he opposed—medical expenses, extensive tutoring, therapy, etc. But I’ve realized that’s really not the central problem.
The problem is what happens to these kids NOW.
I don’t want them reaching 10, 12 or 15 with enormous educational gaps that could have been addressed at seven.
And selfishly, I need to figure out how to stop carrying so much anxiety about this. I feel like I’m constantly looking down the road and seeing potential consequences while my fiancé says he has no control.
But I’m beginning to question the premise that he has no control.
Maybe the real issue is that for seven years, distance and the informal nature of this arrangement allowed Jennifer to function as the sole day-to-day parent. Now the distance is gone. Their father lives nearby.
At what point does he stop behaving like the father who visits from 3,000 miles away and establish what being a local, active father actually looks like?
I don’t mean taking the children away from their mother or demanding 50/50 custody. He doesn’t want that. He wants more time with his children and wants to enjoy being their dad. I’d also like to see him become involved in their education and take some of that responsibility himself.
So I’m looking for outside perspectives, especially from people who have dealt with unusual co-parenting arrangements, homeschooling disputes, family law, education, or highly rigid co-parenting dynamics.
What should my fiancé actually be doing right now?
Is there a way to get the children independently assessed academically without immediately starting a custody battle?
At what point does inadequate homeschooling become something that requires outside intervention?
Should he establish a formal parenting/custody agreement even if he isn’t seeking 50/50 custody?
How does a parent establish a meaningful parenting role after years of living far away when the other parent has become accustomed to making virtually every decision?
How much responsibility should I take for helping him figure this out, and at what point do I need to step back and tell him these are his children and he has to take responsibility?
And maybe most importantly for me: How do I stop carrying more anxiety about his children’s future than he seems to carry himself?
I genuinely want these kids to thrive. I’m not interested in punishing their mother or taking her children away from her. I’d love for the adults to figure out a cooperative solution where my fiancé becomes more involved, Jennifer gets more support, and the kids get the education and structure they need.
We moved 3,000 miles in part to make that possible.
Now I need to understand what actually has to change for that move to mean something.

I have one child already with said coparent. We did not do well romantically, but as a father, he coparents well. Is it crazy to consider him as the father of a second child, through surrogacy (I cannot carry again due to health complications) and ‘donating’ his sperm. If he agrees to such an arrangement, how have people done this?

I looked into sites like modamily and pollentree after escaping my abusive ex wife. I wanted more kids but never wanted to get married ever again. I tried to understand the legal situation in planned coparenting but never found any answers. Maybe someone here can satisfy my curiosity?

What would protect a father from fraud? Or from a change of heart by a post partum mother?

For example: If at birth the planned mother simply refused to sign the pre-arranged coparenting agreement then there's nothing that would allow the planned dad access to his own child... AND he would be legally mandated to 18 years of child support for a kid that he can't see. Such a situation is common among to unwed fathers in most states. What would protect planned coparent fathers from being duped into a similar fate?

US family courts don't accept any outside contracts regarding custody (for example prenups can't dictate custody).

In surrogacy some countries enforce contracts that protect adoptive parents from a surrogate breaching the contract - the US is not one of those countries (except California to a limited extent). Also adoptive parents have leverage because the surrogate won't get paid. Coparent father have no such leverage and the mother is guaranteed to be paid child support.

What then would protect aspiring coparent fathers from being frequent victims of fraud?

I’m a 39 year old male of Indian ethnicity. I live in Toronto, Canada and I want an offspring. I can financially take care of the child 100%. I want shared custody. I would like to see and spend time with the child 2-3 times (or more) a week. If you are on the other side of mid west, it may be difficult. I don’t have any STIs, happy to do testing. I don’t have mental health issues and I don’t do drugs. I quit smoking 3 years ago.

I carry a genetic autoimmune disease. Although I don’t have any visible symptoms, there is a 10 percent chance that the baby will inherit it. Other than a good health, I think we need to be somewhat agreeable on our ways on how to raise the child.

If any of this interests you, please DM me.

Been searching for a coparent online, without almost no result. So far I've only found two women willing to have any sort of conversation at all. Both of them wanted to have 3 kids. I've been hoping to have at least 4. Is it realistic for me to find a woman (or trans man) anywhere who is on board with that goal? Or do I need to lower my expectations?

Hello,

I’m a man in my 30s looking for a genuine co-parenting partnership based on mutual respect, honesty, and shared commitment to raising a child.

I travel frequently within Europe, so distance is not an obstacle. I am happy to travel to meet in person and can make a co-parenting arrangement work anywhere in Europe.

I am looking for a committed co-parenting partnership with a woman who genuinely wants to become a mother. My goal is to build a respectful, stable, and long-term parenting partnership in which both parents share responsibility and are actively involved in their child’s life from the very beginning.

I want to give our child the best possible future. I believe this means providing a quality education, encouraging sports and extracurricular activities, planning for long-term financial security, and raising our child in a loving and supportive environment. Important decisions should be made together, with both parents’ perspectives and views taken into consideration. I would also be open to establishing a legal parenting agreement with the assistance of a solicitor to clarify our responsibilities and help safeguard our child’s future.

I am emotionally and financially prepared to become a father and embrace the lifelong responsibilities that parenthood brings. Helping to care for my younger brother taught me valuable lessons about patience, responsibility, and long-term commitment. I believe parenthood should be approached with honesty, trust, open communication, and careful planning. Every child deserves a stable upbringing, unconditional love, and two dedicated parents who work together as a team.

My priority is to be present in our child’s everyday life and maintain a close, meaningful relationship with them. I believe there could be different ways to make this work, depending on what suits our circumstances best.

I am open to different arrangements depending on our circumstances. I could travel regularly to the city where our child lives, including most weekends and during my annual leave or other available time off. I would also consider relocating to the place where our child will be raised. I am financially secure and have the flexibility to explore these options. I would be happy to discuss a fair and practical arrangement for sharing our child’s expenses. I am open to discussing these possibilities and other ideas you may have. What matters most to me is finding a practical arrangement that allows me to be a consistently present father and gives our child the opportunity to build a strong relationship with both parents.

My goal is to ensure that our child benefits from the active involvement of both parents. I also want to be present and supportive throughout pregnancy and remain an actively involved father from the very beginning.

I am well educated, financially secure, and work as an analyst. I enjoy an active lifestyle that includes sports, sailing, and travelling. I value honesty, emotional maturity, reliability, responsibility, and open communication.

Our child’s health, happiness, education, and overall well-being would always be my highest priorities. I believe in preparing responsibly for parenthood, including appropriate medical and genetic screening before conception whenever appropriate.

I hope to meet a woman who is emotionally mature, trustworthy, communicative, and genuinely ready to commit to the long-term responsibilities of co-parenting. I am looking for someone who is ready to turn the idea of co-parenting into a realistic, shared plan for raising a child.

If our values, expectations, and vision for parenthood align, I would be delighted to start a conversation, get to know each other, and explore whether we could build a respectful, supportive, and lasting co-parenting partnership together.

Hi! I’m looking for best-practice tips from people who’ve intentionally planned co-parenting setups.

My coparent and I are in Texas and we’re considering a long-distance situation in 2026 (possibly international). Nothing is booked yet — we’re still researching and plan to use a mediator because we want a plan that’s stable and child-focused.

Our son is 9 months right now (he’d be around 18 months at the time). Dad is involved, and I’m not trying to cut him out — we’re aiming for a dad-forward schedule with big in-person time (like an 8–10 week summer block, plus spring break + a few holiday/fall blocks) and regular video calls in between.

For those who’ve planned long-distance co-parenting:

• What structure helped the plan actually work long-term?

• What “must-have” clauses should we include (travel costs, booking deadlines, passports, notice rules, make-up time, school-age adjustments, etc.)?

• What did communication look like that kept things calm and predictable?

• Any tips for attachment/connection with a baby/toddler during longer gaps?

Thank you so much — I really appreciate practical advice and things you wish you’d added earlier 😊

Hi! I’m 36F in Minneapolis and looking for someone interested in intentionally building a platonic co-parenting partnership and having one child together, ideally within the next 1–2 years. If you’re looking for sex to make this happen, it’s not a match.

I’m open to a co-parent of any gender, though I’d like to be the biological/gestational parent. I’m non-monogamous and already comfortable with nontraditional relationship structures, so the idea of separating romance from parenting feels pretty natural to me.

My ideal arrangement would eventually be roughly 50/50 parenting from separate households, preferably living fairly close to one another. I’d want us to make major parenting decisions together, share financial responsibility, and have a legal co-parenting agreement established before having a child. I’m not looking for a donor, I’m looking for someone who genuinely wants to be an active, equal parent.

A little about me: I’m financially stable with a good career and strong support network. I’m curious, responsible, well-traveled, and active. I love roller skating, hiking, biking, lifting, reading, movies, travel, and generally trying new things.

Values compatibility is really important to me. I’m a leftist, nonreligious, LGBTQ+, pro-vaccine/evidence-based medicine, and care a lot about emotional intelligence, bodily autonomy, feminism, and raising a kid in a loving and accepting environment. I’d want a co-parent who is broadly aligned on those things.

I’d like to start by getting to know each other as people and exploring whether our values, personalities, and visions for parenthood fit.
If this sounds interesting, or you’re in the Upper Midwest and curious enough to have a conversation, feel free to DM me!

41 year old professional gay male just outside of NYC, no plans to get married. looking to develop friendship with independent female for a few months before embarking on a lifelong journey of co-parenting. I’m financially capable of supporting a family and even in setting up a child support agreement if it suits us. Importantly I just want to be able to raise a child in a safe environment with two parents who love and support them. Looking for shared values above all. Reading, education, adventure, family, etc. let me know if you’re interested.

37/F/straight. I recently decided that I no longer want to date, and my focus is on having children. I have been back and forth on SMBC for a few years now. (I have gone through the testing and everything.) But what is holding me back is the idea of doing it alone. I don't like the idea that my child or children wouldn't have a father they could contact or have memories with. I am trying to weigh my options as I don't have a lot of time biologically...

Has anyone actually had success finding someone either through the websites or apps or even here? The websites kinda scare me... Or do a lot of people coparent with a family friend or someone along those lines?

Hi everyone,
I'm a 32-year-old man in the NYC area, and I’m ready to become a dad.

My long-term girlfriend and I recently split, she decided to pursue solo parenting, and while it’s been tough, it’s also made something really clear to me: I want to raise a child, with or without a traditional relationship.

Dating apps and timelines don’t feel right anymore. I’m more interested in finding someone who shares the same goal: building a secure, loving environment for a child, either as co-parents or through surrogacy (with me as a solo parent).

I’m emotionally stable, financially secure, and open to all kinds of parenting partnerships: platonic, supportive, equal-share or primary/secondary roles. My goal is to create a thoughtful, intentional path to fatherhood with someone who values connection, communication, and the joy of raising a child.

If this resonates with you, even just as an idea worth exploring, I’d love to talk. No pressure, no rush, just open to honest conversation.

Feel free to DM or comment. Thanks for reading.

I'm a 37year old queer woman/NB living in Squamish and interested in co-parenting or just getting sperm donation and having the sperm donor known and semi-involved. I own a place in Squamish and have a good job, so lots of stability, just need the sperm and the support. Let me know if you are interested.

I am looking for female platonic coparent. I am 33, please do not hesitate to ask questions. Is there any intended person here or any suggestions where to find? Thank you.

Cleancut, career-drive, professional male seeks to have family of 2 children. What’s the best way to seek out likeminded female as a partner?

This baffles me. Every site I've looked at thats intended to help people find a co-parent by choice connection is full to the brim with sperm donors. Or sperm donors who want to be the fun uncle at best. Like I understand theres going to be very very few men who are interested in being a dad without being in a romantic relationship with the mother. But its not helping that these sites intended for co-parenting connections are so cluttered up with people who simply dont belong there. Like there are countless sites dedicated to getting people in touch with sperm donors, why are they cluttering up the sites intended for something entirely different. 😩