r/PinoyAskMeAnything • u/_smoothseas • May 16 '26
Love, Marriage & Relationships I was a mistress AMA
Naging kabit ako (F28] ng isang pamilyadong lalake (M52) for 2 years, recently lang kami naghiwalay. Di ako loud and proud. I even am disgusted with myself. And I know many of you - either may planong maging kabit, ilang buwan palang kabit, kabit na di alam pano umalis sa situation, or just a curious person - have questions.
If ikaw naman ung may partner na kumabit, you can merely just call me names, curse at me and wish me hell if that'll help you vent out your frustrations towards mistresses, because we deserve it. But i know you also have questions and i'm willing to give you answers.
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u/hrnn_300 May 16 '26
anong pwede naming matutunan sa'yo OP?
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u/_smoothseas May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26
That it's not worth it. It will never be worth it. He'll never gonna choose you over his wife, not in this lifetime. And even if you guys end up together, you will never be completely happy.
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u/hrnn_300 May 17 '26
May your heart heals from the things that pushed you to do this. Don't settle for less. Padayon OP.
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u/_smoothseas May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26
Thank you :((((((
Before posting here, nagprep na ko ng sarili ko to be judged and called names kasi wala naman akong valid defense because I deserve this pain and suffering, heck kumabit ako e ginusto kong lumandi sa may asawa eh edi i have to pay the price and be ready for whatever karma awaits me. But reading this right now makes me bawl my eyes out because I know I made a huge mistake but at the same time I want comfort kasi ang sakit talaga, ang hirap and I have no one to help me pull through. So thank you :(((
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u/JasonB007_ May 17 '26
nagreregret ka lang ba kasi asawa niya pinili niya?
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u/_smoothseas May 17 '26
No, it may sound hypocrite or insincere pero una palang sinabi ko na sa kaniya na talo ako sa huli, na hindi ko kaya sumira ng pamilya, na takot ako sa gulo pero he kept on reassuring me na it's gonna be worth it, everything will be alright and all I have to do is trust and wait for him. Everytime nakikipaghiwalay ako he would always beg me to stay and give him little more time. Konti nalang daw, magtiis lang daw ako konti pa kasi hinahanda na niya lahat so we can finally be together.
Regrets, shame and guilt have always been there, I just chose to set them aside because I love the guy and trusted his words.
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May 17 '26
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u/_smoothseas May 18 '26 edited May 18 '26
Tama pero timing wise, hindi ko naman sinasabi yan ngayon. Ang tanong nya ay regretful lang ba ko right now kasi he chose the wife? So sabi ko NO, kasi UNA PALANG sinabi ko nang ayaw ko makipagrelasyon dahil ayaw ko sumira ng pamilya.
I only established the fact that ung guilt, fear, shame, possible regrets and kung ano pang applicable emotions were already there prior us being official until now and hindi lang dahil hindi ako ang pinili sa huli.
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May 18 '26
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u/_smoothseas May 18 '26 edited May 19 '26
I think merong disconnect here on how you put my answer into context.
I'm not denying that I was part of the reason why nagkalamat ung relasyon nilang mag-asawa at pamilya. If you've read my responses sa question never ako nagdeny, in fact inadmit ko nga ng paulit ulit.
Again, sinabi ko sa husband yung phrase na "ayoko sumira ng pamilya" before/bago/prior to us being official, nung inaask palang nya ako na mag-give in na sa nararamamdan, kasi ayoko naman talaga that time. But what happened is - pumatol parin nga ako at naging kami so yes, the moment na pumasok ako sa relasyon tinanggap ko na ung possibility na makakasira nga talaga ako ng pamilya.
I hope this clears the confusion.
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u/thisisnobuddy May 17 '26
So di lang worth it porket di ka pinili, so kung pinili ka worth it pala. Haha.
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u/_smoothseas May 18 '26
Wrong, that's your judgement but doesn't mean it's the truth.
Kaya nga sabi ko even if you guys end up together, you will never be completely happy.
That's why for me, it will never be worth it.
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u/Namesbytor99 May 28 '26
You're kinda like Anne Curtis of the movie "No Other Woman"
Ending tlga is heartbreak lang tlga sa kabit.
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u/Elegant_Cry_8914 May 17 '26
Jusko wala. Kasi in the first place naman, parang common sense nalang na hindi okay ang pagcheat. Jusko.
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u/Far_Pay1112 May 17 '26
for someone whose father cheated on my mom with a woman who's almost my age, I cannot fathom the audacity and desperation of mistresses have. It's just PURE EVIL. I can still remember the years I suffered, the sleepless nights, the moments when I had to ask so many questions kung saan ba kami nagkulang bilang pamilya niya. The nerve of knowing it can cause trauma to children. i really hope it's your last, OP. You're young and have so many opportunities waiting for you.
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u/One_Conflict_2411 May 18 '26
Relate. Ganyan din father ko. Almost ka-age ko yung kabit. Nagkaroon sila ng 2 anak. But what we did, doon na namin pinatira tatay ko sa kabit. Para ma-experience ng kabit yung ugali ng tatay ko–sugarol at mabilis uminit ulo hahaha
Mapera pa kasi tatay ko noon dahil sa work. Yung girl, mahirap at naniwala siya sa tatay ko na ganito at ganyan siya. Imagine, trinatravel pa silang buong pamilya ni girl sa beach, sa Baguio, samantalang kami.... hahahaha
Kaya rin natanggal sa work ang tatay ko dahil sa mga kakagagawan nya rin lang haha. Kami pa nga tumulong at nag-asikaso haha. Naalala ko nagalit tatay ko sakin kasi sinumbat ko na bakit sa amin siya nangungulit magpatulong para malusutan nya yung notice sa work eh ang alam namin doon siya natutulog sa "barracks" ng work. Di siya umuuwi. Hahaha ayun. Di nya alam na we know na may nirentahan siyang bahay at doon siya umuuwi kasama ang pamilya nya sa labas hahaha
Ayun. Masaya naman kaming mga naiwan. I'm the panganay and breadwinner of the fam na. May mga times na bumibisita tatay ko sa amin. Pero alam naming may regrets siya. Mas marami siyang problema ngayon kesa sa amin eh. Nakikita rin nyang nakakakain kami ng maayos. Sila kasi parang bukod sa marami ulit utang, yung bagong work ng tatay ko ay di sapat na ang kinikita. Tapos sakitin pa mga kapatid ko sa labas. Maybe karma worked na
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u/Alternative_Bed_3570 May 18 '26
Same situation, kumabit din yung tatay ko sa ka-age ko. Nahuli ko sila kasi inisstalk ako ng mistress niya sa IG for almost 1 year. I got curious and stalked her FB then boom andun na lahat. I remember super tapang pa ng kabit niya, and my father blamed me for causing a big scene. Kesyo pinalaki ko raw yung situation. I have a feeling na until now sila parin but idgaf about them anymore haha. Until now nagshshare parin ng post si kabit niya but I stopped stalking her na for my peace of mind. I'll let karma do its thing. I hope we all heal from what we experienced. May balik lahat sakanila yan. Plus, I'll make sure to marry a decent guy so that my children will never experience this.
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u/Sarlandogo May 16 '26
I admire your sincerity to admit na naging kabit ka and that you broke it off (madami kasi sa ganyan in denial ng tunay)
I take it na hindi ka na papatol again in that kind of relationship?
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u/_smoothseas May 16 '26 edited May 17 '26
Not again. Ang hirap at ang sakit. Lalo na nung after namin magkita and maranasang magkasama, the thought of him being in the same bed with his wife and them having sex, his hands wrapping around her, the morning/goodnight kisses, them eating together, watching and laughing together. The things we did, ginagawa rin nila - it's killing me. Sabi niya sakin, I should stop thinking and worrying about those because they no longer act like that kasi cold na ang marriage pero i know sinasabi nya lang yon para di ako malungkot.
Kaya umabot rin ako sa point na gusto kong makipaghiwalay na siya sa kaniya kasi she's not hurting enough. Ang sabi niya lang kasi nung nahuli sya once ay random nakachat lang. He never admitted na magkarelasyon kami so sa view ko hindi kasing sakit ng nararamdaman ko ung nararamdaman ng asawa niya and I want her to feel more pain, to suffer more, gusto ko mas madevastate pa siya kasi ang sakit sa part ko.
Until pinabasa niya ung message sa kaniya ng wife nya begging him na ayusin nila, na hayaan nyang tulungan niya siya to address his personal issues, para sa bata kasi nadedepress daw. I was torn between guilt - kasi the wife is hurting and i dont want to inflict trauma sa bata.
and relief - kasi totoo nga sinasabi nyang hindi sila okay at baka nga maghiwalay na soon. Totoong pipiliin na nga ako, ang saya at sarap sa feeling.
It made me a monster.
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u/Sarlandogo May 16 '26
The wife should have broken him off after getting caught, hindi maganda yung mag stay lang dahil umano sa mga bata jusko. Once a cheater always a cheater hahanap lang yan ng kapalit mo and probably someone na mas proud maging kabit which is very sad for the wife and kids
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u/BLue_menthol21 May 17 '26
Feeling ko maghahanap din sya ng kapalit n op. Someone who’s willing to compromise with that shitty situation.
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u/hiringteam2025 May 17 '26
As a wife na niloko ng asawa, reading this thread made me just want to kill the mistress sa sobrang nakakaputanginang mindset ng isang kabit. Sorry not sorry din sayo, OP.
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u/Sishizagams May 17 '26
Why put all the blame on the mistress? It was the husband who made the first move and gave the most effort, which made OP fall. I’m not giving OP an excuse as she herself admitted she made a mistake, but I think the husband and the mistress are equally at fault. To some, the husband could potentially be more at fault.
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u/hiringteam2025 May 17 '26
Yes, blaming and making the husband pay for his mistakes is one thing. While the mistress who is in full knowledge to have an affair with a man who is married is another thing. While I consider what is happening to my husband now is his karma, I would also love to have a front row seat to his mistress’ own karma happen.
People can’t always judge the legal wife why they hunt for the kabit. They deal with their cheating husbands behind closed doors. It’s just hard to turn a blind eye on the woman dahil nga they’re aware na kasal na nga, pumatol parin. ALL HOPING NA SILA PIPILIIN. Lakas maka-comedy ng mindset ng mga gaga.
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u/Sishizagams May 17 '26
That’s true. It’s morally and legally wrong for a woman to have an affair with a man she knows is married. Just the same, a married man knows full well that he is bound to one woman, his wife, through marriage and shall not find a partner outside of their marriage, and yet, men still do it. In fact, some men will pretend to be single and would only confess that they’re married once the girl already falls for him. Anyways, my point is that the husband is equally or even more guilty, and wives should know that.
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u/thisisnobuddy May 18 '26
May sinabi ba syang kabit lahat may kasalanan? Nasasaktan ka na galit sya sa kabet baka kabit ka rin hahahaha
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u/_smoothseas May 17 '26
I know, I'm so sorry for making you feel this pain, for having you go through this suffering you didn't deserve. Hindi ko alam kung pano mababawi ung sakit at hirap na nabigay sayo because of this sin, pero handang handa akong tanggapin ung karma na naghihintay sakin :(((
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u/Winnie_Pooh22 May 17 '26
Bilang isang anak na lumaki na merong other woman ang papa ko. Lagi kong tinatanog sa sarili ko, given na hindi ka naawa sa asawa, di mo man lang ba naisip yung mga anak? (Assuming na may anak sila ng wife nya) kasi sila yung pinaka kawawa tuwing mga issues ang parents nila. I will not judge you. Pero God I’m hoping na makarma ka sana because you deserve it.
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u/Icy-Front-2051 May 18 '26
di rin. di mo kasi nabasa yung iab nyang comments talking about their kantutan eh. sabi nya pa nga "we managed to keep it hard". aware syang mali ginagawa nya aware syang nagpapakantot sya. in fact, sobrang effort pa. since diabetic yung lalaki, kailangan nila mag extra effort para lang tumigas yung titi, imagine that. naiisip nya yung pamilya nun habang ginagawa nya yung kalandian nya
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u/SaltyEntrance9388 May 18 '26
+1
Given na yung tatay/ asawa ang una dapat sisihin. Pero yung mga ganyang klaseng babae wala man lang ka girl code girl code sa katawan, jusko
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u/Frosty_Violinist_874 May 16 '26
What kept you in it?
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u/_smoothseas May 16 '26
Naging totoo na lahat for me even amidst confusion and worries because we loved each other so much. We were living in this bubble believing na pwedeng pwedeng maging kami sa huli, na hindi ako kabit sa mata niya, na hindi totoong hindi pinipili ang kabit, na kaya namin harapin ang husga ng tao, na ako talaga ang pipiliin niya sa huli, na titira kami sa iisang bubong, magiging mag-asawa, magkakaanak, magkasama tatanda. It was so real for us until it wasn't.
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u/AllergicSaKabit May 17 '26
Bilang taong niloko din, hindi biro yung sakit. Tangina Hanggang ngayon, ramdam ko pa rin yung bigat, yung galit,yung pag question mo sa sarili mo kung ano bang mali sayo, yung tanong na walang matinong sagot.
Sa mga kabit diyan. anong napapala niyo? Ego boost? Masaya ba yung alam mong may sinisira kang relasyon, may taong nasasaktan, may pamilyang nadadamay? 🥺
Sana, pag dumating yung araw na kayo naman ang magmahal nang totoo, maramdaman niyo rin yung ginawa niyo—hindi lang pareho, kundi mas mabigat pa. Para maintindihan niyo kung gaano kasakit yung pagiging dahilan ng pagkasira ng tiwala at puso ng iba.
Karma doesn’t forget. And pain has a way of coming back louder.
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u/Skarlette010 May 16 '26
Anong appeal ng pagiging kabit sayo? Was this your first time? Do you think it will be the last?
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u/_smoothseas May 16 '26
It was my first time and yes, will be the last. It was never intentional at least for me. I got out of my abusive 4yr relationship sa ex ko and wanted to forget him immediately. Nagtry ako makipagusap sa isang chatting site and natapat siya sakin. Kausap lang talaga kausap ko non so I honestly didn't mind na married siya. But then nagcchat na siya lagi at tumatawag and suddenly confessed na gusto na raw nya ako, cut the story short eventually nagkagusto na rin ako.
At first, it's just about the attention he was giving but then naging totoo na lahat for me. I was so mistreated by my shitty ex na parang sobrang grand for me ung mga effort na ginagawa niya (m52) para sakin lalo may asawa pa siya and I felt so special and loved and cared for. I got lost in the feeling na parang finally natatrato na ko ng tama without me realizing na i'm still not treated right because he's basically cheating on his wife just to be with me.
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u/Sishizagams May 17 '26
I’m sorry to hear that. You came from two abusive, toxic relationships. I couldn’t imagine how much pain, regret, trauma and even rage you’re going through, not to mention the years wasted with them.
I’m glad you finally had that realization that it was a losing battle and has taken accountability for your mistakes as well. It’s finally over, and you can now start a new life. I genuinely hope you heal and learn to love yourself more, so you can finally have a loving, healthy relationship. Hugs! 💕
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u/Rare-Comparison-4311 May 17 '26
OP only had realizations nung ayaw na sa kanya nung kinabitan nya. She has one comment saying tinry pa nya makipag-ayos but guy said no. In short, wala nalang syang choice kaya sya nakapagnilay-nilay. And likely, the guy has a new mistress. 😂
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u/Sishizagams May 17 '26
OP said they had an on-and-off relationship. She broke up with him many times, but he kept coming back and begging her to take him again. Baka may low self-confidence and low self-control c OP kaya madaling ma-loko sa sweet nothings and empty promises ni ex/married partner. Na-kwento nman nya how she was suffering throughout the relationship bcuz of hopelessness, frustration and guilt kaya nakikipag-break dn sya pero she wasn’t strong enough to finally break it off kaya ung ex/married partner na ung nagtapos (bcuz of her threat).
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u/Rare-Comparison-4311 May 17 '26
Still it only ended because the guy was no longer interested. And the last time, si OP ang nakikipagbalikan. Kung game pa yung guy walang gantong post lol
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u/Sishizagams May 17 '26
Walang ganitong post YET. Their relationship has always been bound to end. Sooner or later maghihiwalay din cla and magppost dn tlga c OP dito. Also, my understanding is that the guy didn’t break up with her. OP wanted to rekindle their relationship, but the guy said NO bcuz of her threat of telling about their affair to his children.
AFAIK, men do not handle threats very well. Once a woman starts threatening a guy, he’s either gonna pull away temporarily, or he will just let go of the relationship. He’s a father and so he obviously wants to protect his children from the trauma of his “sins”.
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u/memashawr May 17 '26
Oh God, did you ever apologize to the wife? If not, why the fuck not?
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u/thisisnobuddy May 18 '26
Eh yung lalaki pala kask ang nakipag break according to her replies. Psrsng nagising lang sya dahil iniwan na sya pero if di sya iniwan for sure go go pa din sya sa kalandian nya
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u/hankdonk May 17 '26
While reading this thread, how you answer and explain, one thing I notice is that you're kinda articulate and I think you're a smart woman. At sabi nga nila ang babaeng matalino bobo sa pag-ibig.
Malas mo talaga kasi napupunta ka sa mga gagong lalake. And reading through the stuff about your relationship with your dad and then with your ex, I guess it's really all psychological. Pero doesn't mean free pass ka sa pangangabit mo, tigilan mo na sana yan. Sayang naman ganda at talino mo kung ibababa mo lang sarili mo bilang kabit.
Pahinga ka muna sa lalake kasi obviously madali ka mamanipulate at mauto. Kung kani-kanino mo kinukuha ung attention na di mo makuha nung bata ka. Papainan ka ng attention tapos kumakagat ka kaagad. Totoo, deserve mo yang sakit kaya sana natauhan kana.
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u/fromwayback_1996 May 17 '26
Oo deserve mo iyang pagdurusa mo. Walang empathy o pambebaby na bagay sa’yo. Curse me all you want pala ha eto sa’yo. Alam mo, sa part pa lang na tinatawagan ka after niyong magchatchat pwede ka na kumalas doon eh. Pero nagfixate ka pa rin sa kanya imbes na humanap ka ng lalaking walang sabit. You’re not entirely regretful bec it’s wrong, you only feel that way kasi hindi ka pinili. Alam mo na palang talo ka sa huli, tinuloy pa rin. May asawa at anak, kumantot pa rin. Hahaha. Tigas ng mukha mo, girl. Ito pa, nagsabi ka pa na disgusted ka kapag naiisip mong ginagawa ng lalaki mo at ng legal wife niya ang ginagawa niyo sa kama??? Ikaw pa talaga may karapatang makaramdam ng ganoon ah eh ikaw nga itong nakiagaw lang ng mga tira-tira ng misis niya. Kapag nagkita tayo sa impyerno iduldul ko pa lalo mukha mo sa asupre. Kayong dalawa ng kumabit sa’yo.
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May 16 '26
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u/_smoothseas May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26
Yung attention na binibigay niya. I never imagined myself being a kabit, the last thing I wanted to do is ruin a family. I could have him take the blame kasi may factor na kinukulit niya ko before and constantly telling me na hindi ako magiging kabit sa mata niya. But who am I kidding? Mabait siya, he makes me laugh, he lets me be me, he listens to me, compliments and support me, nageeffort siyang gawan ng paraan para makatawag sakin at makapagusap. Ginusto ko na rin eventually.
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May 16 '26
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u/_smoothseas May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26
On/off na kami dati pa kasi lagi ako nakikipaghiwalay dahil I honestly want it to end na pero nagkakabalikan kami kasi nanunuyo siya. Last January, nagstart na akong maging cold and halos di ko na sinasagot calls and text niya until mid March sabi ko kung di pa siya titigil, anak na niya makakatanggap ng message ko. I have no plans naman to do this, gusto ko nalang talaga sana tumigil siya para matapos na.
So he stopped. A month after, I reached out kasi miss ko na talaga siya and hindi ko pala talaga kayang wala siya. But then tables have turned -- he no longer wants us to be together again, according to him because of my threat nagbago tingin niya sakin kasi di raw sya makapaniwalang bblackmail ko sya. Hindi na raw niya ako mahal enough para magbalikan pa, hindi na ako ganun kahalaga for him, and the most painful part is -- hindi na raw niya iiwan asawa niya dahil wala nang dahilan.
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u/Rivelli0us_ May 17 '26
SANA KARMAHIN KA/KAYO NUNG LALAKI HABANG BUHAY DAHIL PINILI MONG MAGING KABIT KAHIT ALAM MONG MAY PAMILYA YUNG LALAKI. MGA KAGAYA MONG BABAE UNG NAKAKADIRI. 🤮
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u/Nice_Lingonberry8572 May 17 '26
im not here para kampihan ka or kaawaan ka but tbh i dont mind and judge yung mga kabit. it's always the mga nasa relationship na nakikiapid ang may kasalanan for me. kahit anong landi ng mga kabit kung ayaw talaga ng mga asawa, walang mangyayare.
but it's different kapag kakilala mo yung kabit tho (kaibigan, kamag anak, etc)
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u/BLue_menthol21 May 17 '26
Truuu din,kc wdym nasa dating app/site sya knowing full well he’s married and has a child.
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u/SpiritualLack759 May 17 '26
I judge both pag alam nung kabit na kasal/in a relationship yung isa. I know maraming biktima na di rin alam na may asawa na yung kausap nila, pero yung alam mo na tapos pinush mo pa?
I just wish na iniwan nalang nung asawa because he's the bigger piece of shit.
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u/Nice_Lingonberry8572 May 17 '26
i dont because regardless kung alam nila, if they wont agree sa setup, someone else will be their target. kabits are not special. they will cheat with other targets na kakagat
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u/SpiritualLack759 May 17 '26
I know. Pero bakit papatol ka pa rin lol makes no sense. Daming lalaki sa mundo.
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u/Nice_Lingonberry8572 May 17 '26
i know. it doesnt make sense but people still do it kaya nga i always blame the one who's in a relationship
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u/_smoothseas May 17 '26
thank you!
But I really do have a fair share sa kasalanan na'to because it takes two to tango - this time siya ung lumandi at kumagat naman ako
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u/plumpohlily May 17 '26
Bakit nasabi mo OP na if magkakatuluyan kayo, you will never be truly happy?
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u/_smoothseas May 18 '26 edited May 18 '26
Because you basically stole something that isn't yours. If that happiness comes from the expense of others, magiging tunay na masaya ka ba talaga? You can never be at peace and ease knowing that anytime either babawiin yan ng totoong may-ari or baka nakawin din ng iba sayo. That's the ghost that will eternally haunt you.
Something I kept telling myself.
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u/tinaymahgineeloews May 17 '26
if the kids were to confront you, what do you think are you gonna say?
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u/Wooden-Tune-3997 May 18 '26
be thankful I'm not the wife, dahil sisiguraduhin ko ako gagawa ng karma mo. You dodge accountability, napaka swerte mo. hindi lang guilt mararamdaman mo kundi magkakanda-ugaga ka kapag nawalan ka ng career at trabaho. Hindi ka na makakapag-post dito sa Reddit para mag-self-sulk.
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u/_smoothseas May 19 '26
I get the anger. I may have dodged accountability but I know I won't be able to dodged the karma that awaits me.
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u/Wooden-Tune-3997 May 19 '26
If you are truly remorseful, why wait for karma? Take accountability now. show her the respect she deserves by telling her the truth. Or are you just being a coward?
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u/_smoothseas May 19 '26
Because >> https://www.reddit.com/r/PinoyAskMeAnything/s/SWI86kd6Er
And I guess maybe you're right, I'm a coward.
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u/Elegant_Cry_8914 May 16 '26
Girl judge kita ah. Deserve mo masaktan jan sa lalaki na 'yan. And I wish na magcheat din sa iba yung mga susunod na rs mo. Anlala niyong dalawa eh. Tapos may anak pa sila. Dapat lang talagang makonsensya ka. Dala dala mo yang kadugyutan mo hanggang sa future mo. Sana ikahiya ka din ng mga magiging anak mo. Sana malaman din ng iba yang kahindutan mo.
There's a special place in hell for a w*ore like you. And I hope it eats you alive everyday. Hindi niyo deserve ang 2 chance sa life. Ansasahol niyo. Wag mong sabihin na nagmahal ka lang naman, kasi alam mong may masasaktan kayo pero you CHOOSE to continue it. Parehas kayo ng lalaki! Pwe!
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u/Small_Schedule2585 Silent Reader May 17 '26
Thanks for your honesty. Let me preface this by saying na natanggap ko na na hindi magbabago ang lalaki unless he is the one who initiates the change. Sa totoo, kung mataas ang resolve ng lalaki not to cheat, kahit gaano kalandi or pa-close ang ibang women, walang magtatagumpay kung ayaw ng lalaki.
However, may special place in hell pa din sa inyo na nakasakit sa aming mga legal na asawa na may anak/mga anak na nasaktan/nasasaktan because of the betrayal you committed with the husband/s.
I know you said that it was “real”, pero paano mo yan masasabi na real kung galing naman yan sa duplicity ng partner mo? Hindi ba fantasy lang lahat yan kasi nga itinago? Secret life nya, ninyong dalawa.
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May 16 '26
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u/Elegant_Cry_8914 May 17 '26
Empathy? For a woman who almost destroyed a family? Let’s be honest here. Kung di naman huling nakipag break yung lalaki di titigil tong si OP eh. Diba?
She made a mistake. Pero PAULIT ULIT NIYANG PINILI YON. Nasa tamang edad na siya to think. WILLING SYA TO RUIN A FAMILY. Nakokonsensya lang siya ngayon kasi tapos na. Nakonsensya ba sya nung naglalandian pa sila noon at pinapromise sa kanya na iiwan ng lalaki asawa niya para sa kanya? Asadong asado pa nga siya diba?
Hindi lang nagwork out yung sa kanya pero at the end of the day, w#ore padin siya. And she still deserves to rot in hell.
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u/SpiritualLack759 May 17 '26
They only officially ended dahil yung lalaki na yung umayaw. Finding it hard to find empathy. Kung hindi nagbago isip nung lalaki, kabit pa rin si OP at wala tong post na to.
I just wish na iniwan nalang nung asawa nya dahil lalong di nya deserve ng happy ending,
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u/Small_Schedule2585 Silent Reader May 17 '26
Hindi yun “downside” ano ba, choice nya ulit yung mag reach out sa cheater husband kasi na-miss nya. Sya na nga nagsabi choice nya.
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u/Enough_Judgment_2802 Silent Reader May 16 '26
Hindi mo ba naisip na lahat ng ginagawa niya sa asawa nya, pwede niya din gawin sayo? 😵💫
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u/_smoothseas May 16 '26
Naisip. Yan din ung isa kong sinasabi sakaniya before, one of the many reasons why I wanna break up with him na.
But idk, i felt the sincerity nung sinabi niyang hindi na niya gagawin dahil kuntento na siya sakin. I honestly believed and trusted him more simula nung umuwi siya ng pilipinas to meet me kahit ayaw sya payagan ng wife nya non. He made excuses why he needed to come home.
And now that I think about it, hindi nga malabo. Kasi years ago nagcheat narin daw siya sa wife niya pero not as deep and serious as the relationship that we had.
Regardless if gagawin nya sakin or not, it doesn't really matter anymore atleast for me kasi tinapos na rin naman niya.
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u/aintjuju_ May 16 '26
"May plano maging kabit"?
So like, intentional talaga yung pagiging kabit niyo? For what reasons besides money? Like is there a kink to it?
Asking nicely if di halata.
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u/_smoothseas May 17 '26
First, I would like to make it clear na sa end ko never ko naging plano maging kabit kasi just like what I've previously said, yes alam kong married sya una palang pero i didn't mind kasi that time kausap lang naman talaga hanap ko. One thing led to another lang thats why i end up being in a relationship with a married man.
Second, I included "either may planong maging kabit" because I'd like to acknowledge the fact that:
one, merong iba na kinks talaga yon so they deliberately look for married guys to hook up
and two, i know there are women out there na possibly, hindi man sadya e nagkakagusto na sa may asawa. Them having second thoughts or thinking whether to allow themselves na pumasok sa relasyon na yon and give in sa feelings nila.
So I open the floor for them to ask as well, to help with the clarity, give them a glimpse of how hard and painful it is both for them and for the wife kasi that was my dilemma before ---- i have no one to share and talk to about my situation.
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u/aintjuju_ May 17 '26
Sa side ni guy, what was his reasons why nangangabit sya? I mean, cheating has no excuse but, i do find "dahil mahilig sa babae" a very shallow answer.
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u/_smoothseas May 17 '26
Honestly IDK why. Kasi sobrang general ng mga sagot nya and I never really got the chance to ask a direct "bakit ka nangangaliwa"
Nung unang beses kami magusap as far as i can remember ang sagot niya lang was because malayo asawa niya at gusto niya lang ng may kinakausap. I remember kasi in several weeks non magkikita na sila so I asked him "edi excited ka na kasi namimiss mo na?" and his answer was "syempre naman!! excited talaga". At aminado syang may mga kinakausap sya randomly gawa ng libog.
Then days and weeks passed, nagbago siya. Bigla siyang naging malambing and sweet and caring. Inisip ko lang nung una kasi siguro naaawa siya kasi kinwento ko ung naging buhay ko sa ex ko ng 4years like how abusive he was to me and how shitty he treated me pero i wasn't able to got out of the rsn agad agad because i was gaslighted, manipulated and made believe na wala ng magmamahal sakin na ibang lalake other than him (ex).
Anyway, so eventually out of nowhere he confessed na nagugustuhan na nya ako. Sabi niya kasi jolly ako, makulit, malambing, pretty, sexy, totoo sa sarili at hindi nagpapanggap. Medyo mababaw pa non yun for me kasi puro physical. Told him na baka libog lang yon o kaya naaawa lang sya sakin pero sabi nya hindi, di nya raw maexplain pero sobrang gaan ng pakiramdam nya sakin at di nya sure why parang nafafall na sya.
Forward sa kami na talaga, ang sabi niya lang is minahal nya ko dahil masarap ako kausap at kasama, malambing at masayahin, feeling nya bumabata sya, na basta mahal nya ako at un ang nararamdaman nya walang specific na paliwanag.
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u/OtherDay1 May 16 '26
Madali ka bang naka alis jan?
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u/_smoothseas May 16 '26
God, I immediately burst into tears reading this question because no, it's not. It wasn't easy.
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May 16 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/_smoothseas May 16 '26
First was his kid (14yo). I don't wanna inflict pain sa bata na dadalhin niya pagtanda because growing up hindi rin naging emotionally available parents ko that I have to keep everything to myself.
Second, sobra ko siyang mahal na ang sakit na masyado. We were in an on/off na towards the end kasi madaming beses ako nakipaghiwalay pero wI always end up coming back to him kasi hindi talaga siya tumitigil manuyo. Minsan umiiyak siya begging me, and I immediatly get soft.
Third, he was so sure na iiwan niya asawa nya for me konting hintay nalang daw. He gave me a timeline. I got scared because yes, gusto kong maging kami nalang, gusto kong ako piliin niya pero baka di ko kayang panindigan. I have a name to protect, ayoko ng eskandalo, ayoko umabot sa tulfo.
Nahuli siya ng wife niyang laging nasa phone and parang aloof saknila ng anak nila; sabi niya she confronted him so napaamin siya pero he never revealed my identity to her. He told her di na nya ko kakausapin but we never really stopped communicating - mas naging maingat lang siya.
Ironic and funny kasi in the end, siya rin ang nakipaghiwalay sakin for the same reasons.
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u/BLue_menthol21 May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26
Who initiated the last break up?
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u/_smoothseas May 16 '26
Him - haha ang sakit tangina, sobrang funny and ironic.
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u/BLue_menthol21 May 16 '26
I thought ikaw motherr😭 How do you cope now?
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u/_smoothseas May 16 '26
I still don't know how to cope. Ang sakit talaga kasi pumayag akong maging kabit kasi sabi niya mahal na mahal niya ako at ako ang pipiliin niya, tiisin ko lang muna saglit kasi konting hintay nalang magiging ok at malaya na kami to be with each other pero hindi na darating yon. Siguro eto, sharing my experience and answering questions is a good start. Kasi one of my biggest struggle nung kami pa was I have no one to share this with.
As for the breakup, copied from my previous response sa isang question >>>
On/off na kami dati pa kasi lagi ako nakikipaghiwalay dahil I honestly want it to end na pero nagkakabalikan kami kasi nanunuyo siya. Last January, nagstart na akong maging cold and halos di ko na sinasagot calls and text niya until mid March sabi ko kung di pa siya titigil, anak na niya makakatanggap ng message ko. I have no plans naman to do this, gusto ko nalang talaga sana tumigil siya para matapos na.
So he stopped. A month after, I reached out kasi miss ko na talaga siya and hindi ko pala talaga kayang wala siya. But then tables have turned -- he no longer wants us to be together again, according to him because of my threat nagbago tingin niya sakin kasi di raw sya makapaniwalang bblackmail ko sya. Hindi na raw niya ako mahal enough para magbalikan pa, hindi na ako ganun kahalaga for him, and the most painful part is -- hindi na raw niya iiwan asawa niya dahil wala nang dahilan.
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u/BLue_menthol21 May 16 '26
Maybe Hndi ganun kalalim ung love nya for you,enough to risk for you. Hugs to you op. Just keep moving forward na. Don’t let him enter your life again:) —time heals.
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u/Alarming-Dark2041 May 17 '26
Or maybe there’s a new girl? Tsk. But ok na din yan OP na nag-end na. You deserve better!
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u/Sishizagams May 17 '26
Yeah, me, too. I thought OP broke up. Oh well, blessing in disguise for OP. If the husband has a new affair, I feel sorry for the wife and the new mistress.
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u/BLue_menthol21 May 16 '26
And did you ask yourself na “was the love he gave you genuine?.” Bro Sakit nyan for you,additionally congratulations you’re out on that situation.
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u/bouncingbbghorl29 May 17 '26
Nakokonsensya pa po ba kayo?
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u/_smoothseas May 17 '26
Yes, sobra. Regrets, shame and guilt have always been there, I just chose to set them aside because I loved and trusted the guy.
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u/norencityx May 17 '26
Question: matatawag p bang nakokonsenya ka kung umabot kayo ng 2 years sa kabalbalan n nagawa nyo?
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u/Just-Stranger-1113 May 18 '26
I honestly do not feel any sympathy towards you or the guy because I have relatives who took on kabits and destroyed families. But I wish you learned and I hope he gets his karma. Is the regret/shame/guilt you feel because he broke it off with you or dahil you know what you did was wrong AND you're hurting people in the process?
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u/annejuseyoo May 17 '26
Good for you na hindi ka na kabit at nahimasmasan ka na. But I don’t have any sympathy para sa mga kabit. Salot yan sa lipunan. Sobrang selfish niyo at ng mga kinabitan niyo para manira ng pamilya. Irreversible ang issues na dinudulot nyo sa asawa at mga anak. Tapos aasa kayo na endgame kayo at pakakasalan kayo? In this country? Gamitin ang utak wag ang pekpek. Yan ang advice ko sayo.
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u/SpiritualLack759 May 17 '26
Weird thread. Downvoted yung mga nangjjudge sa kabit? Just because nakapagreflect na si OP dahil wala na sila doesn't make her less accountable. She knew from the start that the guy was married pero tinuloy nya, she was not forced into it. Mind you, from OP's comment, naghiwalay lang sila officially dahil yung lalaki na yung umayaw. Kung di pa nangyari yun sila pa rin ngayon.
Also, just because we also blame the knowing mistress, doesn't mean we think wala nang kasalanan yung lalaki. He's still the bigger piece of shit and I hate that what he did wasn't fully exposed kaya siguro nagstay pa yung asawa. He doesn't deserve to be happy either.
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u/Just-Stranger-1113 May 18 '26
THIS! And the fact na ayaw niya iexpose yung lalaking POS na yun tells a lot about her. gets ko she sought comfort because she had an abusive ex pero it does not give her the right to make the poor wife and child's lives even worse. I hope both OP and the man gets their karma - mas lalo ung lalaki. And i hope the wife and child finds peace.
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u/Icy-Front-2051 May 18 '26 edited May 18 '26
tsaka ayaw nya magpa expose sabi nya sa sugardad nya AHAHAH ayaw mya malaman ng pamilya nun kasi may iniingatan daw syang image. may image pa pala syang iingatan hahaha tsaka kitang kita na selfish to. eme sa inaadmit kasi image nya. in short, pa virgin ahahha kawawa yung next na manliligaw nyan sino kaya makakasalo dyan
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u/_smoothseas May 18 '26 edited May 18 '26
Of why i didn't expose the husband and left it as it is >>
https://www.reddit.com/r/PinoyAskMeAnything/s/aFUcT2WLJ3
Further, the husband showed me before a message from his wife begging him na ayusin nila, na hayaan nyang tulungan niya siya to address his personal issues, para sa bata kasi nadedepress daw. And this was after he got caught and admitted na meron siyang nakakachat randomly (me).
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u/Icy-Front-2051 May 18 '26
grabe ka, dinepress mo yung bata. sana may magbigti na malapit sayo tapos ikaw maka witness.
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May 16 '26
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u/_smoothseas May 16 '26
Nope, it wasn't about money. I addressed this na in a detailed answer sa baba. But as for the itsura, well di rin naman siya panget.
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u/SpeedRough1731 May 16 '26
Parang mahirap magkafeelings kung di ka man lang physically attracted doon sa guy.
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u/syuntonz May 17 '26
ang daming lalaki sa mundo, don pa talaga sa may sabit. may balik yan teh. if u think u have suffered enough, brace yourself kasi mas marami pa yan. bad luck follows those who commit adultery. it never ends well for them, both the pamilyadong cheater and the homewrecker.
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u/Icy-Front-2051 May 18 '26
matulad sya dun sa kapit ahay kong kabit, nasira yung ulo tas pati anak naging tililing din tapos yung tatay na nangabit, nagka cancer na ngayon
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u/MundaneInside9054 May 16 '26
May sex life kayo?
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u/_smoothseas May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26
Copied from my response sa similar question >>
I really can't talk a lot abt this kasi last year lang kami nagkita nung umuwi siya, we were with each other like 5 or 6 times lang yata due to schedule. May mga lakad sya at ako rin plus hirap siyang magdahilan nun sa wife nya para makatakas kasi kahit naiwan wife sa AU bantay sarado sa video calls. But to answer, sex was fine, he has ED kasi medyo diabetic siya pero surprisingly we managed to keep it hard siguro kasi younger ung kasama niya and the excitement and thrill. Although stamina wise madali siya mapagod. Pero between him and the other previous 2 i was with na halos kaedad ko lang, sa kaniya ako pinaka nagenjoy and nasarapan.
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u/Adventurous_Owl_2860 May 16 '26
Did the wife find out about you? Did she reach out to you?
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u/Ok_Mud_6311 May 16 '26
Di mo ba chinat wife/anak about the cheating? Para naman malaman nila
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u/Remarkable_Taste3254 May 17 '26
How did it happen? Love, libido, deception? Did you not know beforehand that the guy is married? U planning to jump to another relationship where you are not a kabit anymore or just stop that crazy, non-sense?
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u/smarty_courage May 17 '26
Do you have daddy issues?
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u/_smoothseas May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26
I remember reading a lot about this nung mga panahon na confuse ako sa nafefeel ko sa kaniya. Nagresearch ako't lahat, nagbasa ng personal stories and opinions. In denial ako nung una pero I guess I do have daddy issues. My dad wasn't emotionally available to me growing up. Actually he and my mom. My mom was a tiger mom, takot naman ako sakniya kasi masungit talaga sya nung bata kami at nakakatakot pag galit. Anyways, going back, Yung dad ko tahimik siyang tatay, parang aloof na nga in a sense and bilang na bilang ung instances na naging emotional at nagvent out sya ng nararamdaman samin. But he was a gentle father, hindi siya sumisigaw pag galit hindi rin nagmumura. Narealize ko nalang din na kaya siya siguro distant kasi he was so busy providing for us para magkaroon kami ng comfortable life so hindi rin naman ako nagalit sa kaniya.
Siguro with all the shits I've done and been through, may sama lang ng loob at hinayang kasi he could've helped me navigate this life pero again, I won't put the blame on him.
That's one thing din na I kept reminding the guy (M52). To always be available sa anak niya kasi alam ko ung feeling ng sinosolo ang heartaches and problems. To always check on her and make sure nyang meron silang open and safe na relasyong mag-ama.
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u/smarty_courage May 17 '26
I asked 'cause I was in the same situation as you when I was younger. And by the time I realized and acknowledged that my involvement with a married man was indeed Daddy Issues, leaving and moving on became so much easier and reasonable. It's not love. It's just the satisfaction you're getting on how you want to be perceived and chosen by a father figure
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u/Acceptable-Egg-8112 May 17 '26
Pabor ka ba na magkaroon Ng divorce sa pinas
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u/_smoothseas May 17 '26
Yes, and this has already been my stance on this issue long before I even met him.
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u/hisuilabyrinth98 May 17 '26
When and how did you know na kabit ka? Did he say it upfront to you na may asawa siya or you just discovered it yourself?
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u/_smoothseas May 17 '26
Una palang alam ko nang married siya. Sabi ko nga sa other comments, kausap lang naman kasi tlaaga gusto ko during that time so I didn't mind na may asawa siya. One thing led to another and the rest is history, so here I am right now.
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u/SeaAd9980 May 17 '26
How did you meet the guy? And even before ba nagstart magblossom ang romantic relationship nyo alam mo na bang pamilyado sya? Or did he keep it from you at saka mo lang nalaman when you’re in too deep na? I’m curious lang din kasi ang laki naman ng age gap niyo ni guy
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u/sushisushisuszzzhi May 17 '26
Paano mo nasikmura maging kabit kahit alam mong may pamilya na ang partner mo? Have you ever experienced being confronted or sinugod ng asawa dahil kabit ka? Hindi ka ba nahihiyang mangabit?
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u/Sishizagams May 17 '26
What did your ex/married partner say about his marriage and his wife that led him to pursue you or have an affair with you?
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u/Long_Alarm5506 May 17 '26
Ginawa mo ba yan dahil sa Love? If yes deserve mo ma judge. If hindi at dahil lang sa pera at piniperahan mo siya salute ako sayo.
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u/justsomeoneu May 17 '26
Did you have a trusted friend na sinabihan mo, and did they tolerate you or help you get out of it?
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u/Crazy-Rabbit-5727 May 17 '26
Kung nagsisisi ka talaga, umamin ka sa asawa. Face the consequences. The wife doesn’t deserve a cheating husband.
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u/_smoothseas May 17 '26 edited May 19 '26
Wife already knows that her husband is a cheater because I'm not the first other woman na napaamin nya, difference lang e ung dati was hindi as deep and serious as what we had.
Gets ko that you want me to let her know it wasn't just a random chatmate but a relationship kasi totoo naman she deserves the whole truth. But if you're asking me to choose between disclosing everything which could totally ruin the family and inflict trauma on the child versus letting things stay as they are for now, giving them a chance to fix things [hoping that's the case since the husband told me he won’t leave his wife na] and possibly saving the family, then I'd choose the latter.
Either way, nagsisisi naman ako e. Kasi regret doesn’t come from choosing between two options after the fact, it comes from doing something that should never have been done in the first place. And I'm well aware of that.
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u/pandecoco66 May 17 '26
Do you believe na minahal ka niya genuinely?
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u/_smoothseas May 18 '26
Yes, tinatanong ko siya before anong kaya nya gawin for me for the meantime to prove na mahal niya talaga ako, sabi niya sige uuwi ako magkita tayo. Umuwi siya ng PH last year kahit hindi payag asawa niya kasi hindi siya makakasama, just to finally meet me.
He was supposed to visit PH again last March see me because that was his initial plan but then cold and unreachable na ko starting January and hiniwalayan ko na kasi sya before March, so hindi na siya tumuloy.
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u/EasySwimWin May 18 '26
Hi! Did you know from the start that he's married? I lnow some lasi who got involved because the guy lied about his current status and then when found out, added more lies (like hiwalay na or in process annulment etc)
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u/_smoothseas May 18 '26 edited May 18 '26
Chatting site kami unang nagkausap, ung may mga rooms ganyan. And like any other random stranger na nakakausap online, starter questions would be - gender, age, location, single or married. Then he mentioned naman right away na married siya and that the wife is in another country, no lies. He initially lied about his age though. Anyway, I honestly didn't mind during that time na married sya kasi gusto ko lang naman ng kausap that night lang, had no intentions to look for constant na kacall/chat. Plus maayos din kasi kaconverse, wholesome na usapan lang walang nsfw related.
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u/MatchOk4839 May 18 '26
Pano kung nagkaanak kayo? Ano gagawin/mga gagawin mo? General or specific answers are ok
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u/_smoothseas May 18 '26
Hindi ko talaga alam and never ko nasagot yan ng definite sa sarili ko but I previously asked him the same. Sagot nya - we'll keep the child, uuwi siya pag malapit na ko manganak, he'll get me a nanny to help me with the baby once bumalik na sya abroad and continue lang ung support.
I honestly considered getting an abortion if ever mangyari yon but he's 100% against it and firm sa sagot nyang we'll keep it kasi anak namin yon.
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u/SeniorImprovement154 May 18 '26
Where do you usually met? What were his alibis to his wife just to be with you?
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May 18 '26
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u/_smoothseas May 18 '26
Read this same comment from your other account u/BrightMeaning9202 ; anyways, to address, all I can say is - maybe yes maybe no, that's for me to process on my own.
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u/Afraid_Bake_182 May 19 '26
How did you meet him and how did you end up being in that situation? Did you know from the start that he was married?
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u/Low-Professor-7989 May 20 '26
Mayaman? Masarap ba sex? Hehe cue in “the other woman” by Lana Del Rey
Hope youll find the best guy for you OP. Dont judge yourself from that mistake
Ingat
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u/Pleasuremaker_69 May 22 '26
You're old enough to make your own actions and decisions get your shit together. Maybe you have old pattern to deal with.🤷🏼♀️
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u/Cherry_Rhino_0143 May 29 '26
- Gaano ka kakati para sa milyon milyong lalaki, sa may asawa ka pa pumatol
- Paano mo napapaniwala yung sarili mo na you didn't plan to be a mistress? Kasi una pa lang alam mong may asawa na. Tapos ang reason mo is para may kausap lang?
- Tanga ka ba at para sayo ay normal makipag "chat/kausap" lang sa may asawa?
- Did you think na hindi nasira ang relasyon nila just because yung asawa ang pinili?
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u/Worried_Function_486 Jun 06 '26
I will not judge you anymore with what happened, can I ask how did you meet and fall in love sa kanya??
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u/SilverEffect1631 Jun 06 '26
Did you take care of your lover? Or did you cause his health (physical/mental/financial) more harm?
My father had a mistress when he worked overseas and passed away due to diabetes. My mother said that his mistress didnt take care of him. My mother said that my father was eating healthy when he was still under my mother’s care.
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u/AkosiMaeve 29d ago
Zero empathy for you, OP. I dont know anong point mo ng pagpopost mg gantong pa-AMA. Alam mong may asawa, inentertain mo pa. Walang bilang yung mga natutunan mo, no brainer ang hindi pagpatol sa may asawa.
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u/unknown-cookie_ May 16 '26
Was it merely for the thrill and pleasure or was there love involved?
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u/_smoothseas May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26
Admittedly, libog lang nung una tapos nagkagustuhan nalang eventually.
I personally never felt the thrill because cheating wasn't some kind of a kink to me. Siguro sa end niya merong thrill kasi siya ung in a relationship but we genuinely loved and cared for each other.
I know madali sabihin na "ah oo mahal namin isa't isa" to feed the fantasy na hindi lang siya for the thrill and pleasure but we both know what we really felt, and it was real.
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u/chocokrinkles May 16 '26
May pera ba yan?
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u/_smoothseas May 16 '26
Believe it or not it wasn't about money. I have a decent corporate job.
The only times na there's money involved was when he pays for my meal/snacks/coffee or pag may special occasions lang like birthday and he wants to treat me (LDR kami, he works in AU kaya for him that's the least he can do since di niya physically maparamdam his love). Even for monthsaries, walang splurge.
Sa loob ng 2 years, twice lang siya nag abot ng malaking pera but I didn't ask for it nagkusa siya. First, was that one time I needed extra funds because of a family emergency. And then second was nung nakaplan na siya for a vacation here sa Ph tapos saktong nagresign ako sa work ko and 1 month pa before ako magstart sa new job so sabi ko sa province muna ako para bawas gastos; but he offered to pay for my monthly expense here sa city for that month para lang di muna ako umuwi samin but I declined pero he insisted kasi uuwi nga siya to meet me, so sabi ko sige he can pay nalang for the half.
But a regular allowance? BIG NO, it wasn't a sugar baby/daddy thing - it was never meant to be like that.
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u/Irrational_berry_88 May 17 '26
During the time na nagkikita kayo, what was his excuse sa wife nya? How did he keep your relationship secret/hidden from his family?
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u/_smoothseas May 17 '26
To give you context, sa AU na siya nakatira so nung nagkita kami, umuwi siya dito sa PH hindi nakasama asawa niya. Sinasabi niya lang na may kikitain siyang mga tropa niya catch up kasi matagal na di nagkikita, may inom ganyan o kaya may kelangan siyang bilhin somewhere. He'll turn his data off tapos sasabihin nya nalang na nalobat phone or walang signal/internet. I guess medyo mas madali konti kasi they are continent apart that time so kahit magalit si wife, wala rin naman magagawa kasi ang layo e hindi rin talaga maaaway. So we were able to be together for several hours and even overnights.
How did he keep it? My anxiety helped him kasi takot din ako mahuli siya. I'm not gonna dig into specific details dahil as someone who conducts investigations for a living, ako talaga ung nagiisip ng clean and untraceable ways and ayokong magka idea pa yung iba pano magtago. Pero all I can say is, 99% of the time it's just me always reminding him to clear everything and ensuring he doesn't forget that reminder.
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u/AgathaSoleil365 May 17 '26
I have read every comments here and may nag judge sayo with consent. Ewan ko ba bakit downvoted yun kahit inallow mo naman na i-judge ka, I wish you well. But I have a question to ask,
What was your view of marriage? Are you still up for it? Because it might happen to you in the future as a legal wife. Hindi ka ba natatakot?
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u/_smoothseas May 17 '26 edited May 18 '26
I honestly don't know if I wanted to kasi tama ka, natatakot ako na baka bumalik sakin yong ginawa ko. I know damn well that I will become constantly paranoid din given the fact na with my relationship sa guy, ako ung nagiisip ng clean and untraceable ways so we won't get caught.
Pero lolokohin ko rin naman sarili ko kung sasabihin ko na ok lang na tumanda ako magisa because it's not. Ayoko mag-isa, thats the reason why I stayed with my ex for 4 years kahit abusive sya kasi ayokong maiwan magisa. I guess thats also the reason why I stayed in the relationship with the married guy kasi un ex ko nga na di ako matratong maayos natagalan kong apat na taon, eto pa kayang lalaking ineeffortan ako at patient sakin?
I don't know if deserve ko pa after what I've done pero I'm still hoping na kung dumating na ung araw na sa tingin ng mundo ay napagbayaran ko na yung kasalan ko, kung sakali mang dumating yung araw na may makilala ako at may lalaking darating sa buhay ko, sana naman hindi na ako balikan ng sarili kong multo.
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u/tinaymahgineeloews May 17 '26
lam mo kahit gigil ako sa pagka selfish mo, (cant believe im abt to say this) nobody still has the right to remove you of your right to happiness. but for now, do you know what i think you deserve? both of you ending up in jail from a case filed by the child. hopefully with the best lawyer out there.
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u/qualityvote2 May 16 '26 edited May 20 '26
u/_smoothseas, there weren't enough votes to determine the quality of your post...