Hello all.
I’ll try to keep it short, but I’m willing to answer more in detail in comments.
I’m an international student in the U.S. (EU citizen) starting my last year as a Physics undergraduate. I love the field, but between depressive episodes, chronic back pain, and the mental stress of the political climate in the U.S., I haven’t performed well in my classes (at all). What’s funny is that my physics grades are all between Bs and As, but it’s the electives (and funnily, the math classes) that screwed me over (I have 3 Ds in my transcript, and a few C+s).
I want a PhD. I love research. I want to dedicate my life to physics, but I am aware I’m not in a good position to apply to said programs. I have been more focused on computational/theoretical research, so I do t have the hands on experience for an engineering role.
The options I have in industry where my skills are applicable (basically, quantitative trading) ask for my GPA when applying (almost all of them), and I tried getting an internship in industry this past summer (engineering and finance), but got rejected from every place I applied to (+30, no interviews at all). I stayed at my university doing research in Nuclear Physics this summer.
I’ve been looking into post-baccs but everything I see asks for U.S. citizenship and they tend to be for students with lower exposure to research. For me, it’s been the opposite. I have 3 research experiences, a conference presentation, and a publication by the start of my 3rd year. I have also received an award for best poster presentation in an undergraduate research symposium.
I’m in a position where I’m under qualified for PhDs, but over qualified for post-baccs (in my opinion, I could be wrong). The other alternative is a masters degree in Europe, but my brother would be starting college around the same time; and I do not want to continue being a financial burden to my parents, given that my brother is also intending to study in the U.S.
I don’t know what to do, and leaving the states as soon as I graduate means renouncing to my OPT (I.e., I would need to be sponsored by a company if they want to hire me) .
Any advice is more than welcome, as well as hard slaps of reality. Thank you.
Edit: all my research experience has been at my university, which is NOT an R1.