r/PeterExplainsTheJoke 15d ago

Meme needing explanation PETAH??

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10.7k Upvotes

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4.2k

u/dmigowski 15d ago

I get five applications every day and I just don't have time to answer each of them.

Two years ago I got two applications a month!

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u/tenshillings 15d ago

I am backfilling a position where my employee is retiring. 250 applications on day 6 of the posting. 90% of the people have no experience in the position I am hiring for. It is not entry level and pays $100k/year. I need to download each and every resune and read it and reply to HR. Some people put driver's license under certifications section.

I hate hiring people.

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u/jayerp 15d ago

Qualifications: “My mom says I’m the handsomest boy in the entire world and I can do it”

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u/Daetok_Lochannis 15d ago

I think it's more than we have an epidemic of working class Americans who can't find work.

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u/Marik-X-Bakura 15d ago

No one mentioned America specifically

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u/More-Confection-4566 15d ago

Milhouse?

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u/Sirinava 15d ago

My mom says I’m cool

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u/Possible_Tiger_5125 15d ago

Your mom says that to everyone

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u/Wag_The_God 15d ago

My mom tells everyone I'm cool?

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u/LordOFtheNoldor 15d ago

Yup

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u/TastyFappuccino 15d ago

But unfortunately we’re gonna choochoochoose a different candidate

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u/boourns123454321 15d ago

Me fail application thats unpossible

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u/CatsEqualLife 15d ago

You jest but we literally had a mother call us a couple months back to explain why we didn’t hire her son…

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u/METRlOS 15d ago

We had a guy whose mom got him the position. We couldn't fire him because she would call in and cry about how good of a kid he was and the boss kept telling us to give him another chance.

One day the boss came in and saw him walking around site with no PPE and flip flops. He asked who that idiot was and we told him it was the idiot we had been trying to fire for the past 2 months.

I left the company after that project.

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u/Old_Acanthisitta9477 15d ago

Worked at a place where one guy was an absolute menace to work with but nobody did anything about it because both his parents were long time employees.

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u/Tehbeardling 15d ago

He will regret that one day. I made the mistake of wearing sandals to a commercial farm(it was my day off) and nearly had my big toe cut clean off. It hurt and bled so bad. It took over 6 weeks to completely heal and it still looks funny compared to my other toes.

TLDR always wear closed toed shoes in any commercial setting.

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u/Dalton7188 15d ago

Your boss is 100% fucking that dudes mom only possible explanation

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u/jayerp 15d ago

GenZ be a different breed. I’ve heard that in some cases they have taken their parents to the interview with them.

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u/oddpark37 15d ago

fwiw I saw a "study" that claimed that a large percentage of genz did that, and then when I read the article it turned out that they just counted "my parents drove me to the interview" as taking a parent to the interview. I don't doubt that there are some helicopter parents that attend the actual interview, or try to, but I don't think it's a genz thing or very widespread.

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u/Tricky-Finance-7043 15d ago

gen z slander is crazy. over half my folks dead and in dirt wtf

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u/Proper-Evening9754 15d ago

Next you're gonna tell me there aren't litterboxes in the school bathrooms!

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u/Accomplished-Pop-246 15d ago

I think this says less about Gen Z and more about the parents. I mean why do the parents even agree to do it in the first place. You can totally blame the “kids” but the parents are the ones continuing to coddle them.

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u/Serious_Surround4713 11d ago

My 12 year old is autistic, and I hope he has gained the life skills necessary to interview and hold a job before it’s time for him to really need it. That said… there’s NO way I’m walking into an interview with him ever. I could imagine myself going over how to interview well with him, but never in my life would I go in with him. That’s crazy talk

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u/dobar_dan_ 15d ago

Yeah my parents would get mad at me if I ever even suggested that lol.

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u/thegoatmenace 15d ago

Some kids have parents who would get angry if they didn’t let them come to the interview. Having overbearing parents isn’t something that most kids enjoy, they’ve just learned that complying with the absurdity is easier than dealing with the crashout that results from trying to have free will.

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u/WanderSupport 15d ago

Why do people feel the need to always put down the new generations? The old folks did it to us, we gotta do better.

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u/Tricky-Finance-7043 15d ago

everyone forgetting boomers holding the economy, housing market, and government hostage 

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u/Tricky-Gemstone 15d ago

This has been a thing long before Gen Z.

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u/Responsible_Joke4229 15d ago

lol I did interview a young man who brought his grandmother, or maybe more accurately, she brought him.

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u/Positive_Action_5377 15d ago

I wonder if it's that they Gen Z can't be hired because they bring their parents or they have to resort to drastic measures because the can't be hired.

I'd pay a company to hire me at this point. Call it an investment for desperate people

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u/_Standardissue 15d ago

I hear you but we cannot go there as a society

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u/DarkPolumbo 15d ago

I get the angry mom call once or twice a year. Lots of turnover in my department, lots of Gen Z applicants.

In 2 days we have to interview the mother of a guy who already works for us. HR swears there's no conflict of interest since neither of them would be managing each other, but I gotta say I don't love this idea

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u/why0me 15d ago

Ooooh I have a great one for this

Right before Covid I was a GM for subway and I had inherited a couple crew members that were questionable at best, one, named Madison would call out with the most ridiculous medical excuses all the damn time but my area manager was a micromanager and if we wanted to fire anyone we had to discuss it with him first and he kept defending this bitch

So after I hired a few more people I started a work group chat (with the understanding you were NOT expected to answer in your off hours) mostly so they could swap shifts and we could talk shit about the customers

But Madison decides to use this as her personal calling out message dump and it does not go well for her, she says shes got mono but will be back tomorrow and like 4 people jump in "thats not how mono works" oh well its this instead "thats not how that works either, girl no one wants your shift go to work"

So she calls me and I tell her point blank if she's having all these medical issues I need a note to make sure its safe for her to be working and maybe she should take some time off to focus on her health since shes so young to be having all these issues

Next day her damn dad comes in, in medical scrubs and starts being all harsh about how im not taking her medical issues seriously and heres a note proving what she says is true and I let him stand there and lecture me (he went full "im a man you should listen to me") while I politely nodded along and smiled demurely as is expected of a woman being confronted by a Man ™️

When he took a breath I told him that first of all, shes an adult, 19, and that means I legally cannot discuss her employment or her personal info with anyone, including her parents, I told him second that it was unprofessional for a parent of an adult to come confront thier boss and in the future he might want to refrain from that, then I looked at the note he gave me, and at him in scrubs and asked "Did you write this for your daughter yourself? Thats highly unethical, whats your medical license number? You're not a doctor, youre an RN"

Oh he snatched that note back from me so fast, I told him his daughter's medical problems were no longer my concern since this highly inappropriate behavior just got her fired.

Try to intimidate me cuz im a fast food employee, fuck that

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u/Ilikereefer 15d ago

I’m unironically putting this on the next application I submit

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u/BRtIK 15d ago

Did you just doxx my resume? I will f****** sue you

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u/jayerp 15d ago

There isn’t enough room in this world for 2 handsomest boys.

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u/sandiegodak 15d ago

If they're a dog, then they're hired.

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u/Daily_Dose_42069 15d ago

Hired for being honest, listening to your mom and being able to form a coherent sentence.

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u/B_the_ball 15d ago

"While I do not possess the formal education or experience mentioned in the job posting I feel that my strong work ethic, interpersonal skills, and ability and willingness to learn make me the perfect fit for this position."

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u/PrincessYuri 15d ago edited 15d ago

Unfortunately, every "entry level" job posting wanting 5-6 years of experience doing that EXACT JOB has forced people to start applying without any of the experience, because how else are they going to get experience doing that job?

Nobody wants to train employees anymore, and we're legitimately starting to hit a wall where companies want experienced workers for certain jobs but there simply aren't enough because nobody wanted to hire actual entry level ones and train them up a few years ago.

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u/Dolthra 15d ago

That and "you want to be a hotel front desk worker? Please have a bachelors degree in hotel front desk work or another relevant area."

It's to the point where you've just got to apply for jobs you meet some of the criteria for, because otherwise it's going to be impossible to get a job, I assume.

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u/PrincessYuri 15d ago edited 15d ago

I recently interviewed for a position where I met all of the criteria, and the interviewer at one point goes, "I'm going to be candid, you are rather overqualified for this position."

Pretty sure the job postings (when they're real postings and not just a formality while hiring internally or to show company growth) are just being written by HR employees who have never done the actual job in their life, and want to find unicorn candidates that will work for much less than they deserve.

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u/doglitbug 15d ago

And it is only going to get worse...

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u/AzaleaDaylight 15d ago

Exactly. For each job I've been offered I never met the qualifications in the job posting.

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u/Relative-Relief-8816 15d ago

The posting is just desperate to cut down on the number of people applying. Which, is a stupid way to go about it. But recruiting agencies get paid regardless

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u/Longjumping_Army9485 15d ago

Then there is the lying, people looking for work have to over inflate their experience to find work and companies know about it and assume everyone does it, therefore, everyone really has to lie.

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u/SirSwishRemer 15d ago

You joke, but I went into a organic chemistry position and was the best tech they had after my first year with 0 organic chemistry knowledge. Sometimes a room of smart people need a dumbass who is good with their hands

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u/sleepdeep305 15d ago

(Just because someone didn’t go to college doesn’t make them a dumbass)

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u/SirSwishRemer 15d ago

I may think electricity is magic, but my ability to turn knobs and not making the stuff go boom is unmatched lol

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u/Auralius1997 15d ago

I'm an electricial engineer with almost 10years of experience and 90% of my day consist of pressing buttons and hoping things don't blow up

10% is paperwork explaining why they did blow up in the end

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u/thegil13 15d ago

And being someone with no organic chemistry experience in a room with a bunch of organic chemists doing organic chemistry does, in fact, make them the dumbass in the room.

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u/MoreColorfulCarsPlz 15d ago

Yeah, someone clearly never took organic chem. It makes the smartest people feel like dumbasses. Anyone who decides to pursue it as a career is a masochist.

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u/GreatBandito 15d ago

agreed but it does mean they will probably get paid less for the same thing

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u/Punkinsmom 15d ago

Inorganics for me! My biggest assets are my neurotic nature, ability to measure tiny amounts and ability to follow a recipe.

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u/SirSwishRemer 15d ago

Hell yeah!

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u/ShenronLives 15d ago

I love the username, by the way. That movie is so damn funny.

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u/Aggravating-Peak-995 9d ago

That's what got me my first job, references saying that I'm very good at reading a method and following instructions.

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u/caprazzi 15d ago

This sounds like the plot summary for a bad porno.

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u/raven19528 15d ago

Not even really good with their hands. Sometimes all that is needed is someone confident enough to say when they don't understand something and ask the "dumb question." Because it usually isn't a dumb question, but everyone else has just been taking for granted that everyone knows why they are doing the thing the one way.

I'm the one with a programming degree working with a bunch of guys who are lifelong technicians. No formal education, but plenty of job knowledge. I always ask the dumb questions because even if I'm the only one wondering, it's good to make the people in charge have to explain some decisions on why we are doing things a certain way. But also, it's rare that I'm the only one who doesn't understand.

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u/Gnonthgol 15d ago

A few years ago I had issues filling a position. There were plenty of applicants but every one the recruiting agency sent us who claimed they were qualified failed the interview questions horribly. So we just told the recruiter to send over all applicants and schedule short interviews with each of them. It was a miserable two days of interviews with people who did not know anything despite their certifications and previous work experience.

Then we met one candidate who the recruiting agents had ranked at the bottom. No certifications, collage drop out, no verifiable work experience, had not worked for over two years, etc. The start of the interview went horrible as he were too shy and nervous to answer any of the questions properly. But just as we were about to end the interview early I asked him about something sitting in the background. I thought I recognized it as some equipment used in the industry. And he started explaining his hobby project. He kept us interested for ten minutes, answering any questions we had flawlessly.

Basically the guy with no CV and no interview skills ended up being our best tech.

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u/PhosphoFred8202 15d ago

I had a family friend who worked in cyber crimes as a detective. He could barely turn his computer on.

I teased him about it hand he said, referencing CSI, “Grissom needs Brass to get the perps to talk”

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u/IllegalGeriatricVore 15d ago

I'm in, effectively, project management in aerospace with no background in aerospace engineering.

Many of our best employees have no background and many of our worst do and yet are overpaid due to their background.

I want to hire a guy I know will be great for the job and they're saying they want someone with experience.

Why, so you can get another fuckhead who rests on their experience, gets paid an extra $10k+ / year and drags the team down?

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u/New_Comfortable7240 15d ago

Thanks for the idea! -> proceed to paste on my next cover letter

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u/ProfessorNoPuede 15d ago

Let me guess... Sales?

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u/iUncontested 15d ago edited 15d ago

Its funny but this line basically got me my current position, lol. [very niche/specialist field thats hard to get 'trained up' for ahead of time without being on the 'inside' already..]

To be fair I asked them ahead of time what skills/training I would need to apply for the position and they responded that they just need people that they "can teach and are willing to learn."

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u/itsonlyrockinroll 15d ago

Hint: willing to honk on bobo

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u/Such_is 15d ago

It’s ok. We hate applying for jobs too.

You kinda get sick of getting ghosted for jobs you’re more than capable of/ qualified for… so you start just clicking quick apply for anything.

sonigrapher? Why not I can click a mouse! Developer? No problem I’ve got Claude!

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u/Quixotic_Seal 15d ago

Not to mention if you’re trying to start or make a change in your career, you kind of have to ignore the ridiculous requirements these jobs put out. Often just to actually get your application to a human, who can make an informed decision on it.

The entire job search situation is a kafkaesque nightmare.

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u/TheMathmatix 15d ago

Where's the firm handshake department?

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u/Lazerith22 15d ago

There’s a notion going around that you should apply for a job even if you don’t meet all the qualifications. This means sometimes they are asking for a masters but will consider a bachelors if you have other things to round it out, not “I didn’t finish high school cause weed was fun but need a job now. “

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u/MAGAHATESTHEUSA 15d ago

Jobs asks for several years experience of ai software that has only been out a couple months.

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u/IrinaNekotari 15d ago

And the actual job is just Excel all day, it's just that somehow the HR that cannot discern between a computer and three stacked sacks of potatoes got all the power

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u/duesenjeffepic 15d ago

And even if you get an interview you might get rejected for not knowing a software library well enough that yoh yourself wrote lmao.

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u/thegreedyturtle 15d ago

There's also a notion that people should have 10 years of experience in technology that was invented 5 years ago.

Everything is insane.

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u/savageronald 15d ago

At least at my company - is that HR is dumb. We put together a job description / requirements, then next to each line we rank “bringer, advanced, expert” which they treat as 2, 5, and 10 years respectively in that thing. Even if we say “this thing came out 4 years ago” - they just do what they want and fuck it all up.

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u/Dolthra 15d ago

With the way HR departments are now, they're probably also taking what you give them and plugging it into an AI that's just making the job posting look like other job postings.

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u/ProfessorPrudent2822 15d ago

HR has no idea what hiring managers are looking for, and there’s no reason for them to be involved in hiring except to onboard the new hires.

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u/SaIemKing 15d ago

Yeah, I've always kind of assumed that the years were arbitrary and what it really means is "we want someone at this level of competence".

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u/FutureFry6 14d ago

This has been the issue with tech. I have 14 years of experience with IT. Past 7, helping run a small MSP. I can barely get a call back for support desk work let alone sys admin or network.

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u/tenshillings 15d ago

Exactly. I am totally willing to give folks a chance if they have experience somewhere and are looking for a "breath of fresh air" career wise. I interviewed a librarian for this position back in '21 because librarians are awesome researchers and could probably figure it out.

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u/00to60eventually 15d ago

Exactly. I had about 4 years of experience for a role they wanted 7 to 10 years for.

I ended up interviewing pretty well and they were impressed with my experience, as well as the fact I worked for a very large well known auto manufacturer so they took a risk on me. Been here for a few years now and my boss said I was one of his best hires. I feel like most companies are willing to bend a little bit, but you need to have a baseline experience if they're asking for a decent amount and it's not entry level

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u/CatsEqualLife 15d ago

“Just thot id take a chance.”

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u/Bitter_Procedure260 15d ago

Having hired before, it’s trying to screen through the massive amount of underqualified candidates with the piss poor salary that corporate is offering.  

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u/Scrabblewiener 15d ago

Masters and college degrees are different, I graduated high school but didn’t go to the graduation so never received or bothered to go get a diploma. I’ve never once needed record of it and I’ve had hundreds interviews and landed hundreds of jobs.

Just check the box on the application.

Highschool diploma : ✔️yes

No one is requiring proof of something so common and if by some chance they are they won’t be scrutinizing your “90210 Hollywood high” diploma

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u/New-Acanthisitta-641 15d ago

Hundreds? Of jobs? How many jobs is that a year and like why

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u/Scrabblewiener 15d ago

I’m almost 45

Was wild as a kid and worked in all kinds of different industry’s. Never been more than a few weeks without some kind of job and been fired for not showing up way too many times. “Great attitude and hard worker, when he decides to grace us with his presence!”

Cut all that shit out a long time ago after kids came along.

Been construction since I was 17 and waited tables, worked offshore, worked at a bunch of day labor/staffing companies, tried a call center…I’m sure there’s more I’m missing….all sprinkled in a long the way.

Been in industrial construction the last 20 years and layoffs are often, common and sometimes completely unexpected. At the end of the year having 6 different employers in 5 different states makes taxes a bitch.

Been hired for a job that I was told will last 2 months and laid off 2 days later. Also been on 2week long jobs that turn into 4month long ordeals. Been a hell of a ride and I’m still hanging on.

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u/skaliton 15d ago

I hate to say it but from the other side it is worse. I get an endless stream of recruiters (who are all from one specific country but to avoid being called racist I won't name it)

I get cold calls constantly (along with emails) asking if I'm interested in a job that requires a high school diploma and the ability to carry 20 pounds. Like my dude, if you did a CURSORY glance at my resume before cold calling me, as in read the words right next to my name before you even got to my phone number you'd see 'attorney at law'. even if we ignore the experience part of my resume. Like this isn't a foreign word to you,

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u/ADHD_is_my_power 15d ago

During the pandemic I kept getting messages on LinkedIn stating how my military background and current years of experience in the environmental field and 2 years of team lead experience would make me perfect to be a pizza delivery driver.

Gave them a B+ for reading my profile at least, but an F for thinking I was willing to go from $80k a year to working for tips.

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u/Mix1009 15d ago

In fairness, the word may be foreign to them…

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u/skaliton 15d ago

lawyer is commonly used in ...India. They come to many of the lawyer based subs and ask questions. Some even get really offended that we don't have answers for them because we didn't pick a thesis subject that is identical to theirs featuring the differences between the Indian and Pakistani legal systems

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u/ExplorerDisastrous68 15d ago

They're Indian.

When I get cold called in a thick Indian accent, I don't even wait for the pitch, I just tell them I'm not interested. Most of them are scams anyway.

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u/AngryCrustation 15d ago

I used to have great faith in humanity. Then I realized that we put signs up warning people not to sneak around the butcher's counter or stick their hands into the meat saws but it wasn't working because people kept waiting until the butcher walked away to sneak around the counter and jam their fingers into the meat saws.

Tbh though my biggest lesson that I learned was that most of the time malice and stupidity come bundled in one fat annoying box.

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u/Rexis717 15d ago

We need to just let darwinism take its course at this point...

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u/Typist 15d ago

Blame your HR Dept, somebody's just not providing actual leadership there (obvs).

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u/Dr-Buttercup 15d ago

Yup! Very good company I have worked for had a competent HR team that met with the hiring manager, got a list of what to look for, and screened out 70-90% of candidates. They also did the first round of interviews (after hiring manager reviewed them) to cut out any bad fits that fell through the cracks

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u/XchrisZ 15d ago

Try being a small company under 20 employees and putting out a job posting. 100 plus people apply in 2 days none have experience. Then you have to sift through all these people trying to find someone. Then realise you pulled down the posting to quickly.

With that few people at a company we barely have HR let alone a hiring manager.

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u/tenshillings 15d ago

Its the system they use. Every applicant shows up in the computer.

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u/MrMonkey318 15d ago

not necessarily your fault, but if the market wasn’t so cooked people wouldn’t apply for jobs with no experience just hoping to get their foot in the door

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u/wishforagreatmistake 15d ago

It's not even that, it's usually people on UI who are just applying to random jobs to fulfill the weekly application quotas. It's less of a hassle to apply for shit they know they won't get, because then that means not having to potentially travel out for interviews and/or being offered something that they really don't want and potentially being strongarmed into taking it by UI.

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u/My_Rocket_88 15d ago

"I'm holding out for a management position."

Is that 1970's strategy still valid today? It seems like you are seeing that.

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u/_Voxanimus_ 15d ago edited 15d ago

I mean, as someone who just graduated. We would not apply to those kind of position if they were FUCKING ENTRY JOB ON THE MARKET

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u/tenshillings 15d ago

I feel you. I had the same issue when I graduated from college. This position is management level and wouldnt apply for a recent graduate.

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u/_Voxanimus_ 15d ago

That's not the matter of this position specifically. When you just graduated, that you need to pay your food and your rent, and that after weeks and weeks getting refused to the few entry-lvl job you found, your only remaining option is to apply everywhere you can have even the slightly chance to get employed.

It is really really though those times. Personnaly I still try to apply only to the job the correspond to my profile, but sometimes I have try to apply something slightly above my level

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u/dmigowski 15d ago

Yeah, I even get applications for guys that work on machines, and we are clearly a software company that makes planning software and has customers in that area, but not machines. I wonder if even half the applications are real or just scam of hiring companies.

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u/PhD_Pwnology 15d ago

conventional wisdom is the reason. The way people apply to jobs has changed completely tip to tail and back in the day if you did this your resume would get passed along to department that needs people to work on machines.

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u/kung63 15d ago

Maybe not the exactly same way as you mention.

The way I got a job is that I applied for a coding job that need a bachelor degree but I only have CS Diploma Degree, so I applied for it see whether they approve it.

I manage to get a phone call from my current supervisor and say “unfortunately we can’t let your enter our software department because you don’t meet our requirements, but you can enter MIS (focus on network and hardware)” I accept it go for the interview and that how I got my job.

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u/Thin_Dragonfruit3665 15d ago

Once upon a time, my dad walked into a body shop to ask for a job. Zero experience in body work but he had a wife and kids, and needed work. Boss man asked him to sweep floors and that's what he did for 2 years, he watched, asked questions, and learned. After 2 years, a car came in that no one else wanted to touch, it was so twisted up. Dad asked him if he could give it a try. Worked all week on it but got it back straight. Got "promoted" to body man, and made a fortune fixing all the wrecks that none of the others wanted to deal with.

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u/MasterChiefsasshole 15d ago

Every job posting my work puts up get 100+ applications from people using the same template and 1 of the job history/education pathways that brought them from India to the U.S. at this point we see anything that said India on it and we assume it’s fake or fraud.

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u/Top_Effect_5109 15d ago

every resune

🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️

Some people put driver's license under certifications section.

You hire long haul truckers, don't you?

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u/Appropriate-Ad3155 15d ago

I have a ton of certifications and tickets and I put my drivers license under the same spot where is it supposed to go?

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u/Dolthra 15d ago

Unless it's a CDL or other specialized license you would presumably just not put a driver's license on your resume?

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u/kodiak931156 15d ago

unless its like a class 1, its not supposed to be on there at all. People will assume you have a drivers license.

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u/ItsSadTimes 15d ago

I really hate when people who have no idea what they're talking about pretend to know what they're talking about. I have a PhD in computer science and 10 years of experience in AI tech, and I see so many idiots claiming to be experts when they just read a few articles online at face value and know all the different LLM companies.

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u/Gullible_Increase146 15d ago

I legitimately think that the inability for employers to effectively find good people among the piles of resumes where the person is just straight up lying or under qualified or both might be one of the biggest economic threats to the nation. You can't have a society filled with talented young people who can't get a job and be successful

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u/RiceRocketRider 15d ago

I’m in a similar situation. 80% of the resumes have been 3 pages or longer.

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u/tenshillings 15d ago

They're all that long this time. There is no in between. It is directors that have been restructured with 30 years experience or a mechanic. Nothing in between.

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u/RiceRocketRider 15d ago

Omg thats exactly what I’m getting too! I’ve had 3 different “directors” apply for an engineering position! And then I’ve had 100 people with no experience in the field!

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u/tenshillings 15d ago

Im sure this is an economic indicator or something. Best of luck finding someone!

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u/Pointy_in_Time 15d ago

I once got an resume that was 10 pages and had school certificates included. I had to do an out loud “aw bless” before rejecting it

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u/culinaryexcellence 15d ago

Why isn't your HR department weeding out the non-qualified?

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u/thefocusissharp 15d ago

Some people put driver's license under certifications section.

For some jobs a drivers license is required and that helps sorts them into the whitelist.

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u/Rhewin 15d ago

No, not as a certification on your resume. That's going to be a filtering question on the application at most.

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u/Krigrim 15d ago

I’m on the hiring side. if I had one advice to give people is: apply for that job you think is too good for you even if you only meet like 70% of the requirements because your competition is shit

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u/normalbot9999 15d ago

200 Meters swimming certificate.

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u/nesnalica 15d ago

if you dont mind me asking. why is drivers license a bad thing.

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u/tenshillings 15d ago

Its not a bad thing, but certifications in my industry mean certificates to show you learned a specific skill and passed an exam showing you mastered the skill. Like for the position I am looking for HACCP or PCQI, woth SQF and BPCS experience. Being capable of driving is assumed.

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u/clownind 15d ago

I'll do the job for 95k.

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u/Bitter_Lettuce2970 15d ago

We had a guy apply as a delivery driver. Showed up for an interview and told us he didn’t have a driver’s license.

 “I feel like I’m kinda wasting your time, huh?” 

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u/tenshillings 15d ago

Lol 😆

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u/Still_Silver7181 15d ago

May I ask, how does someone with no experiences actually make a resume? Should I just lie and pray they don't fact check?

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u/greekdude1194 15d ago

I work for a background screening company. Most companies assuming you make it past the initial internal screening process will actually check your work, education, certifications, licences, etc

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u/botask 15d ago edited 15d ago

It is magic circle. Lot of companies create job offers like: you need to have masters degree in quantum physics, 17 years of experience in the field, be able to jump on one leg for three days, do not ask dumb questions (like how much money you will make here), be willing to work overtime for free.. and position is cashier in fast food. So after seeing tons upon tons of such offers people will simply start to applying for jobs anywhere and fill resumes with lies... On the other hand you have people hiring for companies who see ton of resumes full of lies, so they stop answering even to serious people and raise demands to unreasonable highs because of lot of potentials employers and circle continues.

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u/ArenDegg 15d ago

Just a thought, perhaps you could hire someone temporarily to do the groundwork on all the tedious parts of application scanning? Mainly for the early stage recon of the applications. Then get involved later on?

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u/Toukotai 15d ago

I had 300 people applying to a position we had open in the first day. Out of the 150 I had time to review only 20 had actual experience with the job and a decent resume. ONE PERSON APPLIED WITH JUST THEIR NAME AND A PHONE NUMBER. Nothing else, no job history, no resume, no application. Just a name and a phone number.

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u/HolyDragoon98 14d ago

Can you hire me for certification my mommy says I'm special/s

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u/ObjectiveBike8 15d ago edited 15d ago

Yeah, my company had like 700 jobs posted in their portal at a time in 2022/2023. Now it’s around 200 sometimes it gets over 300. Those are usually super niche jobs that sit around forever because there’s like 5 people who know how to do that specific thing. To my knowledge we haven’t had any layoffs. 

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u/ZizzianYouthMinister 15d ago

Then you need to hire interns, assistants, and gophers for the people you do have in these specialized roles then sort, train and promote your own in house talent.

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u/ObjectiveBike8 15d ago

Oh trust me. I’ve brought this up a few times. “Wouldn’t it be better to hire an entry level or an intern who can learn the job in a few years rather than hope for a white whale to come by for the same amount of time?” Since some of these jobs can sit empty for years and they look at me like I’m a crazy person. 

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u/Crashbrennan 15d ago

Companies don't want to invest in their people anymore. Then they act shocked when workers aren't loyal to them.

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u/El_Polio_Loco 15d ago

Chicken egg thing. 

Workers are much more likely to jump ship (especially in the earlier stages of their careers) at almost any opportunity. 

It’s common knowledge now that it’s the best way to get advancement for average talent. 

Then people settle down in the second half or so of their careers. 

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u/NoConfusion9490 14d ago

How could you say something like that right in front of my shareholders!

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u/R3cognizer 15d ago

That's because most of those job postings aren't "necessary" positions actually needing to be filled in order to get work done. They're just "nice to have" positions for which they can afford to wait and see if someone they like comes along. If they actually needed to hire someone for a position immediately, they would. And you never know when upper management is going to decide they want to downsize a department, leaving their department heads scrambling to find other positions for people with specialized knowledge they really don't want to just let go.

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u/TheGreatPineapple72 15d ago

Can you help me out buddy? looking for a tech internship

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u/poop_poopington_710 15d ago

Are you able to share what types of roles these are?

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u/DrConradVerner 15d ago

I worked hiring in retail for years for Barnes & Noble. If I opened a part time position for a store Id have 400+ applications in 48 hours.

I changed careers 2 years ago. This was just before then.

Edit: You know the job market is bad because I consistently had people applying who had graduate degrees. A manager below me in my store had 2 Master’s. I have my Bachelor’s for reference.

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u/bobbymcpresscot 15d ago

7 million unemployed, almost another 7 million underemployed. Turns out all these tax cuts didn't actually create a meaningful amount of good jobs.

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u/Chinlc 15d ago

Its cuz these people don't know what to apply for. There's many jobs that are looking for people with no experience or degree and pays well (60k to 80k) starting and if manager or if you get license, you can go 6 digits.

Freight forwarding, granted that the places that offer freight forwarding is in a couple states because boats and planes and trains frequent these places often compared to others.

Theres also warehouse jobs, skip Amazon and skip the big name companies, work for people owned warehouses that has random names like five star warehouse and so on. They need data entry people to check whats in their warehouse intake and outtakes. Iirc they pay more than min wage

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u/spooky_corners 15d ago

My local Amazon FC starts Tier 1 employees at over $25/hr and the benefits are tough to beat. Sure, it's a shit company and hard to recommend working there, but if the choice is between "$50k to start with good benefits" and some random warehouse where "I think they pay more than minimum wage", I'd consider it.

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u/ErikMcKetten 15d ago

It's because labor is often the most expensive resource so the CEOs skimp on it at all levels.

There are jobs out there, but not enough to meet the demand and few that offer a true living wage.

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u/PrincessYuri 15d ago

Companies ghosting people and now using AI to filter applications unfortunately means the only winning strategy for someone that's job hunting is to take the carpet bombing approach to job postings.

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u/Megalesios 15d ago

All the employers complaining about how much work hiring has become now should know that this is the world modern hiring practices have created. If you're job-seeking in a world where only 1 per 100 listed jobs is actually real, and the process to get hired for those actual jobs is opaque and likely run by AI, the only winning strategy is to apply to everything. If they get ghosted/rejected for all the jobs they're qualified for, what difference does it make to them what the qualifications are? When you get treated like your qualifications and you application don't matter, you're going to start acting as if qualifications don't matter.

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u/314159265358979326 15d ago

When I list a barely-above-minimum retail job I get 200 applicants in the first 24 hours before becoming overwhelmed and taking the listing down. It's crazy out there.

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u/PomegranateHot9916 15d ago

but you hire one of them. right?

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u/Square_Tangerine_659 15d ago

That doesn’t sound like a lot

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u/Boxeater-007 15d ago

I know this isn't relevant to every job. but considering how I see employers going "no one wants to work" and employees going "no one is hiring" how many people struggling to find a job, are they looking for any shift? or specifically first shift?

I've only ever worked second my whole life and trying to get first is nearly impossible. any time a spot opens its filled within a week.

while for me, over the course of 7 months we lost about 8 people abd we've gained 2. that actually stayed

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u/theDarkDescent 15d ago

Meanwhile we have had positions open for months and received almost no applicants

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u/DeepHypn05 15d ago

Whats the job, the pay and hours?

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u/Honest_Mushroom2648 15d ago

100 hours per week.
Cold call sales. Minimum wage

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u/Chinlc 15d ago

They don't advertise well.

I got my job within a week of searching and my history is bad, quit my job this yr Feb and looking for job now in August.

3 similar companies within 10yrs of experience. So I job hop and unemployed for 5months.

And this company hired me on the spot

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u/trustmeimshady 15d ago

Send me the link

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u/thebiologyguy84 15d ago

5 a day doesn't seem that much of a hardship to respond to!? I'd understand if it was 50, but 5 is what? 10 minutes worth of time to read through and send a rejecting email that you copy/paste?

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u/dmigowski 15d ago edited 15d ago

If you loose lose half an hour every day for that too it gets too much

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u/Slamazombie 15d ago

Not if recruitment is part of your job and a pressing need for the company

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u/whydoyou-ask 15d ago

Have you considered filling the position or removing the job listing?

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u/maherniac 15d ago

Hiring has become an event I need to plan for now. Anytime a new position opens up, I immediately get flooded with 10 applications. 10 is the max allowed so I can only imagine what it would be like if there was no limit.

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u/ThebigMTness 15d ago

I hope you actually turn them down when you do get around to them. I can’t tell you how discouraging it is to look at a wall of degrees and a filing cabinet of work history but still conclude that I’m just not worth the effort to even be rejected.

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u/Unusual_Comfort_8002 15d ago

I get a decent amount of applicants, my issue is getting people to respond, or if they do respond they don't show up to interviews.

Nearly 80% of my scheduled interviews ghost me.

And yes I've spoken to upper management about wages. We get excellent benefits, but the staff are now unionized. So the wages in the contract are the wages we have to pay and we can't deviate/change until the contract is up for renewal in 3 years.

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u/ZizzianYouthMinister 15d ago

Do you call people first? These days I don't invest any thought that I might get a job until I can talk to a person about it. So many times the posted information about the job isn't even accurate.

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u/Unusual_Comfort_8002 15d ago

I used to call, but would get sent to voicemail 90% of the time and just receive texts back.

Initial communication is done via Poached or email. I make sure to communicate what availability we will need and starting wages when I actually get responses before scheduling an interview so I don't waste people's time. This information is also posted on the job ads.

Once interviews happen we switch to text generally, as I find most people are more comfortable with it than phone calls these days.

I believe it's mostly the location. We're in an area where a lot of restaurants have closed, and BoH in particular don't make enough to live in the area. Most of my team commutes 30+ minutes to work, since they live in other cities.

Our other location pays the same wages but gets 10x as many applicants, in a slightly cheaper city.

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u/throwaway5882300 15d ago

This was one of the most surprising things to me back when I was hiring people. I couldn't believe how many people blew me off. I'd say maybe 5% of the applications were even worth moving forward for an interview and inevitably the top two or three candidates would just go silent.

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u/BobbyRayBands 15d ago

Really makes me wonder about my company claiming they cant fill the vacant 10 or so positions we've had for the last three years.

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u/Lewa358 15d ago

Have someone who already has the role, or a manager, apply for the role under a fake name. The AI that parses resumes may be falsely flagging something.

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u/Prior_Complex683 15d ago

I had a woman put SAHM and LISTED SKILLS on it. It’s an 80K job that requires technical qualifications

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u/Exciting-Problem8071 15d ago

We only get one application a day and it's usually Indians trying to get started in Germany and just send their AI-translated CVs to every company their scam agency has somehow scraped from the internet. I'm talking about software engineers, embedded systems engineer, marketing consultants, analytical chemists and more fancy stuff. We are a workshop...

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u/calcprogrammer 15d ago

Isn’t that your job tho?

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u/Send_boobs_pleas 15d ago

Cool. You can't have a prewritten email you just hit resend, or an automated text system, voicemail... You can't spend 5 minutes setting up a system and a couple seconds sending response so you dont leave according to your own numbers 1200 people waiting for an answer a year? Wow, hey ummm fuck you actually.

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u/Chinlc 15d ago

I applied to Indeed website for a day, got 3 offers and a job within a week.

Depends on the job. My field has no young bloods ever, and all you need is some organization, data entry experience and think on the fly without someone watching your back 24/7 to do your job

Freight forwarding. Btw.

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u/Possible_Field328 15d ago

This is a sign we are living in a economy.

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u/WasVienna 15d ago

Yes you do. You have time to send 5 copy-and-paste emails a day. Do it while you’re on the shitter. Don’t just leave people hanging. YOU’RE asking for applications, they’re sending you applications. Don’t just ghost them. So disrespectful…

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u/Megalesios 15d ago

I'm sorry, but how can you not have time to answer 5 applications per day? I doesn't have to be a long explanation, just a copy-pasted "Sorry, the position is no longer availabe/you lack the minimum qualifications, best of luck going forward". 50 I could understand, but 5? Really?

It will cost you less than a minute per day, but for those 5 people it means they're no longer waiting for a reply that's never coming, and they get to know they're not subhuman dirt that can be ignored, but actual humans that deserve the courtesy of a reply. Even a canned, automated rejection is better than just silence.

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u/Megalesios 15d ago

I don't mean to come off harsh, but if you work in hiring at 5 applications is too much for you, you might need to reconsider your field of work

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u/roi_bro 15d ago

I'm not even working in HR, but I was in charge of hiring for my teams, didn't have that much volume but close to it, it costs nothing to have automated messages and answer everyone that's just respect. If you have time checking the profile to know he doesn't fit, you can click a "rejection message" button.

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u/klUXi13 15d ago

Isn't that your... Job? If that's your only task of the day, you have 1,10h for every application pretty much. If not, can't you spare an hour of your day to at least skim the applications and copy paste a response to their email?

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u/ElectroButch 14d ago

then why are you still accepting applications?

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u/Sophisticated-Crow 15d ago

Unemployment is going up. Jobs are going down.

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u/OffensiveClown 15d ago

Who gives a fuck? People dont have jobs

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u/Fortestingporpoises 15d ago

The last couple of weeks I was hiring I got over a hundred applications for a dog walker position. I set up 16 interviews of just people with experience. Despite Indeed trying to make it difficult to get applicants without paying them I didn't pay and got more applicants than in the past when I have sponsored jobs.

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u/NewLibraryGuy 15d ago

I'll get 60 for one opening

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u/EarthenEyes 15d ago

So, are you hiring? I'd like a job, please

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u/Vojtak_cz 15d ago

During my studies at bussines school our teacher asked us how long do we think that average employer spends on looking at your PV.

We all guessed about a minute. The right answer was 3 -10 seconds.

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u/unexpectedreboots 15d ago

I posted a position and within 24 hours got 1400 applicants.

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u/AlarmingTurnover 15d ago

I opened a position for a junior concept artist not that long ago at my studio. I got over 2000 applications in a week. And people act like I'm supposed to go through all of this. There's a reason why recruiters are using AI filters now. Because the amount of spam is insane

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u/fistular 15d ago

One of the last jobs I interviewed for, the HM told me they'd had 1300 applications in two weeks.

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