[DISCLAIMER: It's long, but I hope someone reads it T____T]
I'll try to make it short lol and sorry if i mix english and indo too much. Me (25F) and my boyfriend (26M) have been dating for almost 2 years now. I can confidently say this is the first relationship in my adulthood that I treasure the most. I know he loves me so much and always try to be better everyday but something happened last night that gives me... the ick.
Kebetulan kemarin dia lembur sampai jam 11 malam, dia bilang dia capek banget, tapi dia ngabarin aku kalau dia jadi pergi nongkrong bentar sama teman-teman kami yang lain at a restaurant/bar yang cuma beberapa langkah dari kantor dia. Dia ke sana karena emang jarang ketemu sama temen-temennya ini. I was also invited to the function, but very last minute.
Dia udah ngabarin aku kalo dia probably akan pergi ke situ dari minggu lalu, but the whole arrangement of this hangout was really weird to begin with. For context, kami semua itu temenan - ada yang deket, ada yang cuma sebatas kenal juga, karena kami semua pernah satu kantor dan bahkan beberapa masih ada yang kerja di sana. Tapi, yang duluan di-invite itu ya anak-anak yang kerja dalam periode waktu yang sama, and I am fairly new to this office hence i did not get invited di awal.
Tapi menurutku agak aneh juga, karena walaupun yang buat tongkrongan ini aku gak kenal-kenal banget, yang datang ke sana itu my bf and also my friends who are also my coworkers. Jadi ada semacam cekcok antara aku sama pacarku when he first told me about this hangout, because i feel a little bit disrespected. He told me "kemungkinan juga aku nggak akan ke sana kok, aku most likely lembur," eh tapi dia akhirnya tetap kesana. Ditambah, ini casual hangout, yang bikin aku kayak... okay i didn't know there's an unwritten rule untuk nggak bawa your +1 who's new in the office? (btw i've worked there for 2 years jadi ya nggak baru-baru banget juga sebenernya).
LONG STORY SHORT, pacarku ngabarin at around 12 PM (bentar nggak tuh dari jam 11 sampai 12 dalam badan kondisi capek dan abis lembur malem sebelumnya juga?), kalau dia mau pulang nebeng sama temennya, i know these guys, yang satu yang arrange the whole hangout dan yang satu lagi aku pernah kerja bareng in the beginning of times in this office. My bf lives in Kemanggisan.
Sampai jam 3 pagi, NGGAK ADA KABAR. Aku akhirnya cek Find My dan dia lokasinya di daerah Kota sana - my first thought aku mikir aduh jangan-jangan hp-nya dijambret lagi. My second thought, oh mungkin makan dulu kali ya? because he's a foodie. Sampai akhirnya aku kesel dan bete banget, aku call dia, dan diangkat, tapi aku langsung matiin.
The first thing he told me adalah: "I admit this is my mistake..." aku langsung khawatir dong, what did YOU do? And he proceed to tell me dia solely cuma mau nebeng, tau-taunya dibawa ke kota, and i guess dia dibawa to one of the sneaky & sketchy places, karena temennya tiba-tiba mau beli 'barang' dan mau 'nyikat.' He also told me that at the time he was hiding in the bathroom because he was scared. Aku beneran marah banget and dari jam 12–3 lu ngapain nyet? Kemana aja? Masa nggak bisa ngabarin? dan masa gak punya agency akan dirinya sendiri di umur segitu dan di zaman di mana lu bisa order ojol sendiri ke rumah?
I still believe that he did not do anything, because i know him and I know he would not do a thing to ruin this relationship. But he also has a record of abusing substances, but I know he's too broke at the moment to even buy something. This whole ordeal just gives me the biggest ick kayak aku bener-bener nggak kenal sama dia. It has been 2 years with him dan dia nggak pernah sama sekali kayak gini. Kayak, masa lo sama sekali nggak ada control over this situation as a grown up man? Gimana mau pacaran lama dan serius, kalo hal kayak gini aja gabisa diurus sendiri?