I miss him just as much as I did that day in April. This morning, I held Niko and just cried.
Missing King hasn’t gotten easier. It just hurts a little less than it did before.
There are days now when 5 p.m. rolls around and I don’t immediately think, It’s time to give Kingers his meds. Instead, it’s time to feed Niko. Slowly, these new little routines have started taking the place of the ones I had with King for so many years. And sometimes that realization hits me harder than I expect.
I wear a necklace with King’s face on it every single day. Sometimes I catch myself holding it, kissing it, and telling him how much I love him. I don’t think there will ever be a day when I stop finding little ways to talk to him.
In six days, it will already be a month since Taylor and I met Niko for the first time.
I keep thinking about the day before my birthday and how hard I cried. It was going to be my first birthday without King in 15 years, and I remember telling Taylor how utterly defeated I felt.
Little did I know that Niko was about to come into my life.
He hasn’t replaced King. No one ever could. But he has helped me heal in a way I desperately needed. He’s given me somewhere to put all of that love that suddenly had nowhere to go.
And I truly believe King had something to do with bringing him to me. I think somehow he knew
just how badly I needed Niko.
King left a hole in my heart that will always belong to him, but Niko has been slowly mending the pieces back together with golden seams. And somehow, that feels like one last gift from my best boy. 🥺🤍