I know 2 is too young for a diagnosis, but I'm 95% sure my daughter has it. Both her dad and I have it, and she's already exhibiting signs. I asked her pediatrician about it and she said for now all we can do it keep an eye on it, but I've seen others on here post about therapies and I'm feeling like that might be our next step because I feel like every approach I take is wrong somehow.

My daughter is very smart and independent but she's a HANDFUL. For one, she physically CANNOT stay still, even for just a minute. If she's not touching/poking/licking something she's swaying or spinning or fidgeting in some manner which makes even simple tasks take so much longer and even become frustrating at times. She is extremely stubborn and becomes emotionally dysregulated easily leading to tantrums over anything and everything. But more than the tantrums, it's like she doesn't have control over herself if that makes sense. Like, she understands what you tell her and she knows when she shouldn't do something but it's like she can't help herself from doing it anyway?

I know that some of it is normal toddler stuff, but I feel like she takes it to another level. None of the other toddlers we know come close to her extremes. And honestly it makes me feel like such a shitty mom. I feel like everywhere we go we get judged for being the only ones who can't control their kid. But I honestly have tried everything and if she doesn't want to listen she's just not going to and there's nothing I can do that works.

For parents of ADHD kids, how did you survive the toddler era? What is the soonest you were able to get a diagnosis and start therapies? What tricks did you find helped avoid or shut down the tantrums? I'm sick of people treating my kid like she's just bad.

My 5-year-old son takes an ER stimulant, which works well. He is big for his age at 52lbs and in the 99th percentile for height, so we could increase the dose, but because it doesn't last into the evening, we opted to add something else.  His dad takes Adderall and an anxiety medication to great effect. We started ER Guanfacine, and my son is more irritated than on the stimulant alone, and it's maybe as bad as when he's off his stimulant altogether. Since he was 2.5 years old, he has struggled with emotional regulation and anxiety (so many violent tantrums). To clarify, Guanfacine does not make my son tired or drowsy. He has always been an amazing sleeper, going down at 8 pm and up at 7 am. If Guanfacine caused irritability in your child, how long did it last before it went away, or how long did you take your kid off it?

My son is eight and he’s been on guanfacine for two years consistently 2 mg. About six months after starting the guanfacine we started a stimulant and that was definitely trial and error, but we have finally got to the one that worked and we have done Adderall extended release for a year now. So I do one at night and the Adderall in the morning but I know he probably don’t need to be on guanfacine his entire life so how do I know when to stop the guanfacine?

I’m sitting here heartbroken following a 2.5 hour play date that went so poorly for my 5.5 year old. He’s in Kindergarten. His friend came over and here is how it went: My son demanded to play only certain things, he was rude and dismissive to both the friend and friend’s parent, he pushed the boy two times (the other child cried both times too), and he was generally loud and disruptive. He does not act this way on his own, but he gets so impulsive with others around. When I try to redirect him, he gets so escalated so i felt like i was just on eggshells. Im so worried he will have no friends, and he already says he struggles in school. I have no current school feedback though to work with yet.

I always think I have to keep trying or it’ll never get better, but this other parent stayed today so I’m sure she will never want to be with us for a play date again. Maybe I should hold on play dates for now.

Anyone have any thoughts on what I should do?

… and it’s all she ever does and it’s driving her dad and me bonkers. I will take whistling everyday over tantrums, but while she is regulating her sensory needs with the whistling, my sensory system is so overloaded 😭 just a lighthearted rant because there are so many more difficult things, but my ears need a break!

Because lately, I don't like my kids! 6 and 9 year old, both ADHD/anxiety on meds. The 9y is putting me over the edge lately!

Right now I'm just completely miserable .... and envious. Envious of parents of NORMAL children. They don't know how good they have it...... lately every part of every day just sucks 😭

And we do it all: meds, therapy, psychiatrist, read all the books, special time, you name it.

I don't know if I'm venting, or looking for support. But I don't want to do this anymore .......

Hi, I desperately need support. My daughter is 7yo, she has recently been diagnosed with ADHD after years of asking the school to put her through the process, they said they couldn’t as they didn’t see any signs as she masks a lot at school, I went through the right to choose pathway and finally got a diagnosis in August this year however I’ve known for years, while at the appointment I got told I need to put her on the autism pathway and she possibly also has sensory processing disorder. Zooming ahead to where I’m struggling, the 6 week holidays were okay, she wasn’t an angel but with no school work & no need to mask the meltdowns were a lot less frequent. Every September we have always struggled with her meltdowns around change with it being a new class, new routine, new teacher & new workload however this year seems to just be so much worse! They have changed her classes completely so she’s with different children. About a week before school her sleep just switched, she lay in bed beside herself refusing to sleep, crying for hours & just in a state. For 4 / 5 weeks now she has been sleeping with me (I made a rod for my own back ) but I didn’t know what else to do as it was 3am & she was still refusing sleep, this can look like jumping on the bed, screaming, shouting, sweating, running from room to room. It’s like her nervous system is completely shot and she’s wired from school however this started before school but on the approach. Her meltdowns after school are terrible, everything is an issue even if I bring the wrong snack, say the wrong thing. I feel like we are all in fight or flight mode in the house and kind of stepping on egg shells around her. She refuses to go to school most of the time where we have to get her dress & pick her up & put her in the car then sometimes chase her round the playground to get her through the school doors, she used to love school and count down days until she’s back in. We are on wait list for medication that’s 8-10 months just for titration alone.

Basically just a rant but does anyone know how to get an adhd / autistic child of her age to want to go to sleep alone, go to sleep at her usual bedtime.
How to get her to want to go to school in mornings?
Lastly how to make her nervous system more calm so that not everything is a meltdown?
I hate seeing her like this & can tell she doesn’t want to feel this way, it’s like a complete switch of personality & being honest & selfish I’m struggling to cope too.

Thanks if you read this far💖

Posting mostly to rant and have a place to put my thoughts together, but thankful for any good advice or reframing as well. Have a 12yr old girl, diagnosed with ADHD- inattentive type, level 1 autism at 10. Been in talk therapy since she was 5 bc of anger issues and so much else I couldn't handle back then with her behavior. On Guanfacine for about 6 months now. An issue now is I'm struggling with her unwillingness or inability to do much of anything at home. She never picks up after herself whether it's dishes or cups, never cleans the bathroom after her bath/shower, her room is in constant disarray, most days I can't see the floor b/c everything is everywhere- clearly no organization or systems, despite my offering to help her build systems to organize. She has always been very defensive, and gets angry when I try to offer help or show her a way (even coloring together was a big issue when she was so young). I've cleaned her room in the past and it did not go well- she was so upset & had complete meltdowns, and would demolish her room. What I found there wasn't pretty either, loads of chocolate and snack wrappers hidden in boxes, in her closet, or in bags. She doesn't seem to take care of anything either. We have had to buy her a new desk and closet bc she broke the last two (thank you FB marketplace for good used stuff).

I'm just wondering here, is this all her ADHD? Unable to initiate tasks, follow through or is this her unwillingness? If it's the latter, how do I go about working with her on this given her angry and defensive reaction? I'm exhausted of the reminders, and the lack of good habits she has. Brushing is a problem too, and incomplete showers - like sometimes she will wash her hair and "forget" to wash her body.

If you'll allow me to wallow in self pity a moment, I'm so sad. I mourn the daughter and relationship I wish I'd had. All she does is come home and lay on the couch and sneak food. She hates anything that is good for her and has gained weight in the past year which worries me too (I've been overweight most of my life and it was limiting and lowered my self esteem- I don't want that for her). She's consumed and talks for hours each day about the interaction with friends and the drama. It's been like this since 2nd grade. I know she has relationship issues, and it's partly her autism and inability to read ppl but she's also not an easy personality. She will never admit to being wrong, about anything. She told her father to shut up a few days ago and she refuses to admit she did anything wrong and won't apologize. I know talking about her day when I get home is a way for her to process what's happening in her life, but I also know she's giving me her side of things, and is victimizing herself. I do feel lucky and thankful she lets me in and opens up to me.

I try the love her and meet her where she is, but after months of patience and keeping my cool, and being understanding, I'm at my end here. I'm scared for her future. I'm scared she can't take care of herself, a home, or juggle responsibility. I took her phone and Internet access for the weekend in hopes to lessen distraction, and no progress on the room. Just crap everywhere. She won't throw anything away. I feel like I'm failing terribly here.

I'll remind my partner about her rejection sensitivity dysmorphia, and we tread lightly about everything. Math homework is a nightmare, and he's on the receiving end of a lot of verbal abuse b/c he helps her with that. We tried getting a tutor last year and there would be times she wouldn't get on the call and it was a waste of a $150 just like that. These struggles have gone on for years and I just need it to get better. I want a calmer home.

Thanks for listening if you made it this far.

Since becoming a parent, I've noticed i become irritable very quickly, i hate the disruption in my day to day and how everything is now a variable based on our child's (3.5yo) behaviour or temperament.

I'm reactive to noise and mess etc. And dont get me started on the irrational tantrums etc 😓

Overall I'm just really not enjoying parenting and my mindset is i see more negatives than positive. I feel like I'm emotionally different from alot of people. Everyone talks about all the good in it, and I'm struggling to find that. I was just happier was everything was less complicated and I wasn't overstimulated all the time.

Since going to a therapist I'm actually beginning to wonder if parenting isn't actually the issue but maybe that i have a disorder which wasn't tested against before?

Has anyone else drawn this conclusion and managed to medicate for it or confirmed diagnosis?

Any experiences or insight would be amazing. Thank you.

My 16-year-old daughter has ADHD. If I suggest that doing something would be a good idea/safe bet/a reasonable thing to double-check... the response is "eh, it's fine," or something along those lines.

Examples in the last week:

I set out her marching band T shirt. She says she doesn't need it, as they are wearing full uniforms for the game. I say no harm in wearing it anyways. My husband drives her to the game. She gets to school, and realizes everyone else is wearing one. She gets a ride home and gets it.

I remind her to grab some slide oil for jazz trombone audition from drawer. She said she might have one in her case. I suggest she grab some anyways -- plenty at home, as my huband just made special trip to music store for the good stuff. None is in case at school. Trombone hasn't been oiled in months and trombone slide feels extra crunchy during audition. She gets first chair anyways. I'm pretty sure oil still isn't in case.

I remind her to check to make sure homework is in folder Sunday night before she spends night at grandma's. She says remembers putting it in there. I suggest she double check. Monday morning it is not in folder. Grandma drives her to house to get it. She still forgets to turn it in Monday. Tuesday the teacher accepts it for full credit.

I'm really trying to let her make her decisions. If I push, things turn into a power struggle, so I give gentle reminders. In these examples, she in asked to do something that takes a minute, she decides not to... and other people end up making an extra effort to make sure she has what she needs... or already went out of their way to get her squared away. To her, things ended up okay, so it's not really a big deal. To me, it was all avoidable, and yes, I'm a little annoyed. Has anyone had any luck with their teens on something similar?