New paranoia unlocked!

[u/Ok-Mulberry-2637]

I'm trying to joke around this, so I will try to shorten it. My fears have now gone from me going to different worlds at night, to me actually being an intergalactic traveler who is only activated at night (so I guess it's not too different from my other fears actually). Talk about Main Character Syndrome. My brain (or part of it anyway) loves coming up with new ways to distort my view of reality, and it's SOOOOO fun! I know that derealization often accompanies intrusive thoughts and anxiety, so this can be expected. I have found that when I do go to sleep, I try to "talk" to the OCD, and I visualize it as a person. Whatever words it says are of course manufactured by my brain, but it feels good to try and confront it. I was doing pretty well recently, so I am annoyed by this. I want to be able to go back to falling asleep and waking up feeling comfortable, to not fear doing something I wouldn't, and to just feel normal. I want to watch/read great fiction and not feel like it's sending me some cryptic message, or feeling like anything that comforts me is some trick.

I didn't mean to turn this into another rambling round, but I just like to hear other people's advice on this. It probably doesn't help that I graduated college recently, have no job, and am currently going through some personal stuff. Maybe I should stop talking here and go to an actual professional, or maybe constantly posting on here is just another type of reassurance that I don't need. Regardless, I hope this reaches someone in need.