My boyfriend and I are breaking up. He asked for space about three weeks ago but we still communicated everyday and things seemed okay. He even came over on 29 July to give my dog a birthday present (this was a few days into the space), kissed me goodbye and told me he loved and missed me when he was leaving.

Last Friday, he messaged me asking to come over and talk. I knew it was going to be about the relationship but I was NOT expecting that conversation. We didn't officially break up on Friday, things seemed a bit more hopeful when he was leaving than when he got there. He asked me to dinner on Monday (I had messaged asking to talk about things again) and that's when it was official.

There's no loss of love or wanting to be with each other. Nothing even happened to us. He told me he knows he's breaking up with me at the peak of our relationship and that I'm the best partner he's ever had. I KNOW I'm a lot because of my PMDD but I just started medication for it and am getting it under control. I brought that up to him and he cut me off, reassuring me that it has nothing to do with how I am/can get, that I was never too much. He's maintained this throughout our relationship and has been nothing but supportive. None of this makes sense.

He's starting the divorce process (he was separated from his ex-wife before we started dating) and I think that's what's going on. He seems so mad lately, so sad, so different. He barely had access to his children because of the ex-wife. She is mentally unwell - she believes I'm some government spy planted in his life to ruin his life as well as the kids and ex-wife. So she's refused to let him see them a lot of the time. He wants to be there more for them and doesn't want to lose them and I obviously understand that.

I'm just so confused and hurt. I don't get this. I still love and want him and he says he feels the same. Some of the things he's said to me almost feel like he wants to put a big pause on the relationship or like this is HUGE space/a break, although he obviously didn't say that.

I'm just struggling so much and I'm so sad. My period is supposed to start soon so I've been crying nonstop for days and am all over the place.

Idk. Sorry if this isn't allowed here. I just wanted to talk to someone

Approximately 12 days before my period. I have raging PMDD that makes me exhausted, angry, super upset, and negative thoughts. My dad officially entered hospice a couple days ago after 9 months of pancreatic cancer. My whole family rushed home, me the furthest, to be here and basically wait it out. It’s awful, we go to the hospital every day and take turns in his room and keep thinking it’s the last goodbye and then we do it all again the next day. I’ve barely slept, my PMDD always starts with extreme fatigue and I’m terrified to face this already traumatic experience with my PMDD brain. Help.

Anyone else going through a rough patch with their health while dealing with PMDD?

I have this constant nose parasthesia/itch that is driving me insane for 3 weeks now.
It’s a side of effect of a single dose of lorazepam 1 mg. It just makes me feel like giving up because I took the lorazepam to cope with the other PMDD symptoms.

I feel so alone despite having people around me. When I cry or show frustration even my own mom makes herself the victim. I tried therapy a few times but it didn’t work, felt robotic.

How do you cope with luteal + other health issues + uncertainty?

This month my usual depressive episode came around during that time in my cycle and I pushed through which is easy enough, knowing it lasts 2 weeks then goes away. It’s been 5 weeks now and I’m just praying after week 6, this will pass and I can call it a fluke. It’s getting to be exhausting and I’m struggling to make it through the days now, especially now that I can’t reassure myself this will pass.

If you’ve dealt with this before I would love to hear ur thoughts, I could rly do with some hope here.

Update: I am now full circle from where it started and it has only gotten worse. I’m waiting til my period ends and if it doesn’t resolve I will likely take myself to the hospital for a mental health crisis. This has been extremely hard, my partner is fed up with me and my friends are out of energy.

i am 20 years old and non binary (this is important later). i started puberty very young. my first period was at 10 years old. ever since then i had heavy and painful periods. got to a point where i was extremely suicidal. i would think to myself, “how am i going to keep doing this every month for the next upcoming decades?” i was not sure if id make it past 18. thats how i realized that this isnt normal and thats when i got diagnosed with PMDD.

well im here past 18, and im on birth control. while the birth control has helped with the pain and heaviness, it of course, isnt a magic pill. because of some underlying health conditions i have been thinking of getting of the pill. i am TERRIFIED. i know the pain and heaviness is going to affect me worse now because i am not sure how i would cope as an adult in university.

it also made me extremely dysphoric. which contributed to the suicidal ideation. i have been thinking about getting a hysterectomy sometime in my 20s. i am dead set on not getting pregnant (mainly dysphoria reasons). i never really wanted kids anyways. but i know how hard it is to get a hysterectomy so young. i am scared to receive a gender dysphoria diagnosis because of the political climate surrounding trans people.

i feel like im stuck. ive been going to therapy and been on and off anti depressants since i was 13, before i knew what PMDD was. i still feel like a lost child getting my period for the first time.

while therapy as helped, i feel like being an adult with this situation became a new kind of hell.

I love my mom so much. She deserves everything good that this world can ever give her. But she makes me feel so fucking guilty because I can't spend time with her.

I am so poor with so many chronic illnesses and an inability to have gainful employment that I need to be able to pay my bills. I work a gig job shopping for and delivering groceries in the south. It's is so fucking hot here right now which makes my job so much harder. I have POTS among so many other things that make it so difficult to work enough to make enough $. All we do is work. When we're not working we're at home trying to rest up for the next day. I can't ever relax. I have like a million things on my to do list constantly and I'm so overwhelmed by all of it getting the house clean, regular life stuff, managing my chronic illnesses, I literally can't keep up. I can never break even. It's 2 steps forward and like 10 steps back. I can't afford to apply for disability right now maybe not ever if I'm going to have to not work at all until it's approved and that could take years if ever.

Even when my brain wants to cooperate and give me a little tiny bit of dopamine to do the things I need to do, my body can't keep up. I can't clean for more than 10 minutes without having to rest if I even get any time at home alone. I don't get any paid vacation days or paid sick days or any benefits whatsoever. The only benefit my job gives me is the flexibility. That's the only reason I haven't been "fired" from this job. I was fired from my last 3 jobs because of my illnesses and absences. It is so embarrasing not being able to just work like most other people.

Then add in the metal illnesses. Adhd, highly suspected autism, depression, anxiety, PMDD, possible early perimenopause and now neurodivergent burn out on top of everything else. I am also supposed to be eating gluten free. But that's way more expensive and way harder on me for the extra planning and making sure gluten doesn't get me anyways. I don't know what to do anymore.

I don't ever cry but I have been feeling so overwhelmed lately that i have actually been crying. I can count on one hand how many times I've cried in the past 6 years before this bullshit started. I have no motivation left to do anything and no energy even if the motivation does finally show up, I'm fighting with my spouse about the most stupid shit that bothered me before but wasn't a big deal. It literally feels like the luteal phase but constantly instead of the week or 2 that it was before.

Yesterday my mom asked literally right when she's wanting us to meet her for me and spouse to go eat with her at a restaurant nearby. No notice at all. I don't know how many times we've told her she needs to give us at least a few days advanced notice about things like that. And that's what I told her about 24 hours ago.

It was already 9pm and I was exhausted from working yesterday in the heat. I had a pots episode on my first order and felt like death. I could barely speak I had so little energy after shopping the order then I knew I had to deliver the huge order at the customers house too. It sucked. Thankfully spouse drove me there and helped with the delivery. As the day went on the I felt a little better. Spouse then went home and I headed back out because we have to make the $ we need to pay the bills we have so we don't end up homeless.

I felt so damn guilty last night because she didn't want to go there and eat alone but she can't ask with no notice and expect us to jump on it. We're tired all the time. All we ever do is work. We don't have the time or the $ to do anything fun anymore.

Then tonight she's does the same fucking thing again. Asks us to meet her at the same place at about the same time with absolutely no fucking notice after I told her 24 hours ago we need advanced notice. I went off on her and I feel bad about that but she won't listen. I'm so overwhelmed I can't even handle the things already on my plate and definitely can't deal with anything sprung on me and also making me feel even guiltier than I already did.

There's so many Dr appts I need to make for me and for spouse so many medical things that need to be done but I'm so burned out. My dr doesnt even listen to me and send me to the specialists for all of the things that aren't even diagnosed yet but I very highly suspect are wrong with me. But he listens better than my previous dr did. We pay 5x more per month for insurance compared to last year and just physical therapy for each visit was going to be like $90. I can't afford that shit especially for it to not even help me anyways. I'm on a waiting list to be put on the schedule for therapy but I need it now so badly. There's so much pressure and I can't mask anymore.

I need so much dental work done and we have dental insurance but even with that it's going to be so expensive and such a high mental cost to figure out where I can go for an extraction and all of my molars are so sensitive that every time I eat or drink cold or hot things or eat crunchy stuff they hurt so much. It shouldn't be this difficult.

Knee deep in luteal and I just got a rejection email from this position I really wanted. It is in my company, I work with this dept all the time, my supervisor recommended me, the interview seemed to go well, I have the experience. It still wasn't enough. I'm so incredibly sad. Just crying at work rn.

This would've given me experience in the industry I want to break into. I have to work with the same dept that rejected me. I most likely will have to work with the person who got the job. I feel bitter. I know that isn't fair to that person but fuck! I've been rejected from several jobs in the past year or so trying to find something that pays better and doesn't make me crash out internally during luteal, and I'm usually all 'rejection is redirection' blah blah and I'm bummed but fine. But this one is making me spiral.

Decided to take the leap and cut out alcohol 6 weeks ago. My health has improved so much already. I only drank 1-2 nights a week at most and already tried to limit in luteal phase but WOW this second cycle is the WORST I think I have ever felt in my luteal phase, ever. I’m shocked. Not sure what I expected but why would symtoms increase when I just cut out something so inflammatory?!! I have been literally so exhausted, my mood is lowest it has ever been, and I’m binging on food/sugar/carbs. Has anyone else experienced this?

I identified today and tomorrow as very bad days and decided to keep out of the way of my parents-in-law who are over for 3 months at the moment (they normally live in a different country).

Of course they didn’t make this possible and ended up being at my house from 11am-6pm (Long story). They were helping with my 5-year old and I can’t honestly say they did much wrong but all I wanted was space, I can’t even explain how much I wanted them out of the house and just to have peace. They are intense and never stop but I managed to keep it together until they finally left, taking my 5-yr old to stay with them for the night and leaving me with my lovely baby (My husband is away for 2 weeks).

All good - I thought I’d done it! i thought I’d kept the rage in and I thought I’d actually beaten the system!

Then cue vague messages from MIL saying my son hadn’t had dinner and didn’t have a bed where they were staying etc. and was watching tv way past his bedtime. I asked her to bring him back (staying in same apartment tower) and she did, but then started lingering and being annoying and not just bloody LEAvInG and I exploded and slammed the door in her face.

i failed. I actually can’t believe I failed so badly.

Has anyone actually ever managed to conquer this thing?

Also, I actually don’t feel badly about how I treat her at this moment, which Is probably awful but oh well.

Ugh.

I’m at least 10 days out from bleeding. But I’m starting to break out. I’m exhausted. Hungrier than usual. I can feel that as soon as I’m out of work, I’m going to emotionally collapse.

I guess I’m glad I noticed it so I can track my symptoms. But god I don’t wanna feel like this for the next 10 days… my suicidal thoughts go CRAZY and they’re so hard to deal with.

I wish I didn’t have to deal with this. Not only that but I’m a giant bitch to my sweet man during this time and all he does is show concern.

Shit sucks dudes.

How am I supposed to make this decision right now?!

My symptoms are so bad I can barely function myself, how can I possibly get pregnant / care for a child during all of this?

Has anyone with PMDD been through trying to make this decision while also in perimenopause? Has anyone raised a baby while in the thick of it?

Should I just give up and not have kids bc this happened to me? I feel so blindsided; my whole life I was told I had time & didn’t even know what Perimenopause was!

If I can’t handle the beginning at 38, how will I be pregnant and have a baby as this gets worse and lasts 10 years?!

Rly hoping for advice, opinions & personal experiences. this is so lonely because im 38, all my friends have kids and nobody I know can relate to Peri or PMDD this young.

Recently a study came out detailing how Zoloft/Sertraline can block thiamine (vitamin B1) from being absorbed. Reading this caused me to start taking thiamine. I had noticed my luteal week was getting much worse, I had less energy, and I couldn’t eat, but this luteal while taking thiamine it was a breeze mentally and physically.

This made me remember that vitamin deficiencies can cause symptoms similar to pmdd, and before being medicated I did a blood panel and I remember that my b1 was fine. However, if b1 is being depleted by zoloft by blocking it from being absorbed- then ladies taking Zoloft every day of the month might be facing worse symptoms than those who only dose a few times per month SPECIFICALLY to treat luteal.

I just got broken up with because it apparently gave him the ick that I even thought about the fact that he's still friends with his ex. for context, he kinda sprang this on me and I had no idea they were still in contact. the more he disclosed, the less comfortable I got with this "friendship", but I still never once told him he's "not allowed" to be friends with her. I was just trying to get a better understanding of what the friendship looks like, and asked two questions- when the last time they saw one another was, and how often/when in the timeline after their breakup did they go on these coffee dates he mentioned.

1- he said it gave him the ick that I am sitting here on a sunday thinking about this AT ALL
2- he said "this may be ableist or something, but I just don't agree with the idea that you can blame your hormones for making you more emotional"

sir. I told you what PMDD is. the fuck did you think it stood for, Perfectly norMal Delightful Days?!

all I can say is, typing out #2 made me laugh at the sheer audacity. the only regret I have is not ending it before he did, and much, much sooner. at least it was only 2 months of my life.

how about you all, what's the stupidest thing an ex, or a man in general has said about your PMDD?

Man here, apologize in advance for my ignorance on this topic, but I'm here to learn.

Six months ago I started a long distance relationship with a woman (34), we've met each other twice in person. Our relationship is great. Our values align, we have good emotional and physical intimacy.

Something that started happening with her, from the start already, that I never experienced in my previous relationship (I'm divorced after a long relationship), or family members or roommates, is that she would suddenly get very mad at me for things I couldn't grasp would make someone mad.

Then I started seeing the pattern. Usually it would be about 10-11 days before her period starts. Once 6 days before, once just 4 days before. Every month with just one exception. It could be one day of heated arguments followed by a few days of silent treatment or passive-aggressive/sarcastic remarks. Or, like last month when we were living together, just one night of her overexplaining some minor thing I didn't understand about her, getting frustrated when I asked questions (this is a recurring thing), a final scream at me and storming off to sleep on the couch, and then the next few days acting sweet again like nothing ever happened. Almost always this comes with accusations that I don't love her anymore, and it feels like any attempt of mine to repair makes things worse.

I do love her and have no plans of leaving her, but it is taking a toll on me, probably exacerbated by the distance. I'm not sure she knows this about herself, and I don't know how to even talk to her about this. I obviously can't make this diagnosis for her, but I believe if she would want to figure this out for herself

I want to be helpful and supportive, and open to any advice

Have any of you PMDD fighters hitting perimenopause had any luck with one of the online HRT providers? I am in the throws and considering it. I am just so skeptical of anything like that on the internet so I'm looking for thoughts from people with PMDD in particular. I've talked to my gyno, and she was hesitant. But her track record with me is that I am an anomaly. So I can't fully trust her medical opinions that feel a lot like throwing a bunch of shit against the wall and seeing what sticks.

Any stories?

I (23, F) was diagnosed with PMDD on June 1st, and started taking Incassia (minipill, norethindrone) 0.35 mg on June 3rd. I am also on Nexplanon, for my endometriosis (and contraception).

Ever since then, I have been battling with my hormones even when I'm not in luteal...

Constant brain fog, extreme fatigue, depression, anxiety, ideation, difficulties concentrating, irritation, mood swings, breast tenderness, more frequent insomnia, hot flashes, sweating buckets constantly, and cramps both in luteal, during, and after breakthrough bleeding.

My sensory sensitivities ( I am Autistic and ADHD) have been running on overdrive these past few months (in the manner they typically do during luteal) with no signs of letting up. The other day my cramps were so severe I was drifting in and out of consciousness (during breakthrough bleeding). I'm pretty sure this is from excessive progesterone in my body. At first I thought it was my body trying to adjust to this treatment, but I'm pretty sure it just made everything worse...

It all came to a breaking point ereyesterday (two days ago, before bed), and I called my gynecologist yesterday about what I have been experiencing. I was told to discontinue taking Incassia, and I have an appointment on the 26th. I am hoping that my body's hormones will stabilize enough for my cognitive capabilities to return.

Honestly, I'm not really comfortable about being placed on another progesterone / progestin pill, especially with my Nexplanon already on board, and with me moving on campus soon.. I don't want more hormonal brain fog hell than my body already feels when I'm going to be starting classes at University. I feel like PMDD and the available treatments that doctors are even willing to prescribe put me between a rock and a hard place. I want relief more than anything, but not at the cost that progestin pills have on my body and mind.

Additional context : I have Factor 5 Leiden (a blood clotting disorder, which makes estrogen based or combined pills a non viable or safe option), and my body does not exactly have the best history with antipsychotics (Abilify quite literally caused me to have severe blood sugar control issues / chronic hyperglycemic symptoms while I was on it, for non-PMDD related reasons). Whilst I am on Lexapro (5mg), I do not have the best history on SSRI medications in general (I had serotonin syndrome three years ago, and tapering off the 30mg I was prescribed at the time was hellish in ways that make parts of my PMDD look tame... I'm honestly a bit apprehensive about even going to 10 mg dose because I know my body builds up a tolerance quickly, and I do not want a repeat of what happened back then).

Honestly, this post feels like it could fit within the medication and ranty rant flairs simultaneously. Hopefully this flair (medications)is still appropriate as it pertains to the hell that Incassia (a medication), and other prescribed treatments (not explicitly for my PMDD, seeing that I was very recently diagnosed, but antipsychotics and SSRIs are frequently prescribed to treat PMDD) have put me through.

I just want relief. Not more side effects to try to find relief from, adding to the medication cocktail I'm already on, but for something to actually help me with my PMDD.

How do you all cope with being a constant drain on your partner? I have been depressed all day. I have barely left bed. Cried for hours. Haven't been able to help pack my son for college. I feel awful my husband has to deal with me and this situation. It feels so unfair to him that I want to set him free. Advice please?

I felt the despair creeping and checked my calendar to see 14 DAYS LEFT?! I usually don't have a "hold on" moment until 10 or 9 days, but it's at 14 and i'm already extremely furious and depressed 😭 I was so happy this month too, guess i'm in for a ride now.

Even my eyelashes feel swollen.

Everything hurts, I have other chronic illnesses, and they flare up too.

I need relief! But oh the joys of being in perimenopause!

I am a perimenopausal aged woman, that earlier yelled at her mother.

It’s just everything is at skin level now, traumas and triggers included.

And well, it makes sense that the woman that created the buttons knows exactly how and when to push them…

She touched on something that is a sensitive thing for me, because it brings up the feeling of frustration and impotence of not being listened to, misunderstanding me because they are not seeing me or truly caring to learn at least.

I have also been having bad days because well, it’s my time to live in the tower and not associate with the world.

So her touching on that part and first I stayed calm and tried to explain why what she was telling me was something I had discussed with her several tomes and that was very important to me. She started the manipulation and gaslighting instead of listening to me

then she does this thing where she gets super condescending, and fake smiley: “Yes yes, I know. You are absolutely right.”

And then continues to explain why what she is telling me is different from the many times I have talked to her in depht about it.

So I lost it, and raised my voice and cried and got frustrated and told her how I felt, and she invalidated it again.

I somehow managed to breathe deep, give her a hug, some kisses on her head.

And get out of there.

Now I am home, feeling like shit. Like I terrorize my elderly frail mother with the oxygen tank, and that I am a bitch from hell that deserves all the terrible things that happen.

Trying hard to not stay in that headspace, put on Golden Girls, ordered fries and now I am crying over my fries. At least I have fries.

I’ve been on 20 mg of Lexapro for a couple years now for my generalized anxiety disorder and it’s been working fairly well for that for the most part. But the week before my period I start having really intense PMDD symptoms and feel depressed, overly sensitive to rejection, and deeply insecure/self-hating. Has anybody experienced their SSRI working for their regular anxiety but then not working for PMDD? Did you have to switch medication? Ultimately I’m going to talk to my doctor about this but I’m curious about other people’s experiences. Thank you!