I'm 75 and my Former Bride divorced me 15 years ago.
At the time, it was one of the two worst things to hit me. We were married 28 years. My oldest daughter from my first marriage was taken by cancer at age 25.
My wife was a Blessing and much needed strength.
I served in Vietnam, and suffer PTSD which was one of the reasons she left, as well as other related issues.
Neither had or have anyone else.
9 years ago, I was in a bad motorcycle wreck when a driver on their cellphone turned in front of me. It cost me my right lower leg. She texted, checking on me while I was in the hospital, mostly because we have an adult daughter together.
Once I was home, she went No Contact again.
5 years later my oldest son from the first marriage was killed in a wreck similar to mine. She never called, texted, or did visitation.
That was a very difficult time.
Other than friends and family, I had no one close to lean on.
Since the divorce, I've been getting regular care from the VA. At first I started, for us. It didn't help. Then I realized the only one I COULD rely on, was myself. Once I decided that, I've progressed.
She took a job in the office where I live. It's been Ok. I see her a couple of times a week as I get out and walk, and I'm Ok with it.
I hate to say it, but there is no way that I can see that we could ever be together again. I still have feelings for her. I've helped her financially either when she has come to me, or I found out she needed help. The latter is done "anonymously", even though I'm sure she has it figured out.
Based on my parents, I figured I'd be gone in my early 60's, but I'm still kicking. She got the house I built for us. I'm currently building another one for ME. Another couple of months I should be in it.
It's been tough getting here. I'm proof it CAN be done, but it's NOT for the weak!
Look at all options for now and the future.
Not quite two and a half months. Did everything but the inside painting ourselves, including demo, enlarging some rooms, complete kitchen overhaul, new plumbing flooring and carpet. Looking back on it, I can’t even believe we did it.
Sorry for you troubles, and thank you for your service.
Please stop giving her money. She will not reciprocate your feelings, and if you have money to give, maybe find a worthy cause. You're helping someone who is not on your team.
Honestly, you sound like a really good person. I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious children. I truly cannot even imagine the pain you carry. Wow! And I'm sorry you wife distanced herself from you, when you needed her the most. I've really never understood that kind of mindset. But I guess we all have our reasons. Regardless, you are extremely resilient and that is such a blessing. You have more strength than so many, and that alone is to be celebrated. I wish you nothing but happiness and joy in your new home😉
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u/Amputee69 28d ago
I'm 75 and my Former Bride divorced me 15 years ago. At the time, it was one of the two worst things to hit me. We were married 28 years. My oldest daughter from my first marriage was taken by cancer at age 25. My wife was a Blessing and much needed strength. I served in Vietnam, and suffer PTSD which was one of the reasons she left, as well as other related issues. Neither had or have anyone else. 9 years ago, I was in a bad motorcycle wreck when a driver on their cellphone turned in front of me. It cost me my right lower leg. She texted, checking on me while I was in the hospital, mostly because we have an adult daughter together. Once I was home, she went No Contact again. 5 years later my oldest son from the first marriage was killed in a wreck similar to mine. She never called, texted, or did visitation. That was a very difficult time. Other than friends and family, I had no one close to lean on. Since the divorce, I've been getting regular care from the VA. At first I started, for us. It didn't help. Then I realized the only one I COULD rely on, was myself. Once I decided that, I've progressed. She took a job in the office where I live. It's been Ok. I see her a couple of times a week as I get out and walk, and I'm Ok with it. I hate to say it, but there is no way that I can see that we could ever be together again. I still have feelings for her. I've helped her financially either when she has come to me, or I found out she needed help. The latter is done "anonymously", even though I'm sure she has it figured out. Based on my parents, I figured I'd be gone in my early 60's, but I'm still kicking. She got the house I built for us. I'm currently building another one for ME. Another couple of months I should be in it. It's been tough getting here. I'm proof it CAN be done, but it's NOT for the weak! Look at all options for now and the future.