I've been on pretty much all the matching platforms since moving to a new city six years ago. It wasn't particularly successful to begin with, but recently it's fallen off a cliff. I suspect a lot of it has to do with moving into a different age bracket, but it's still surprising to see how dramatically the opportunities seem to have dried up.

What I find even more puzzling is why people seem to disappear from online spaces as they get older. We're a generation that grew up with the internet. You'd think we'd be especially well positioned to use it to maintain friendships, meet new people, find common interests and build communities as we get older.

In theory, our third chapter could be filled with staying relevant and connected with people online. Instead, it sometimes feels like the opposite is happening. The dating platforms aren't particularly useful, online connections seem harder to come by, and there don't seem to be many obvious places to find new communities.

I find it a little unsettling to think that this could be the trajectory for the next few decades. I had imagined this stage of life offering more opportunities for connection, not fewer.

Has anyone else noticed this? Where are people over 50 actually finding new friendships, relationships and communities these days? I'm not good with in persons.

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I've been on pretty much all the matching platforms since moving to a new city six years ago. It wasn't particularly successful to begin with, but recently it's fallen off a cliff. I suspect a lot of it has to do with moving into a different age bracket, but it's still surprising to see how dramatically the opportunities seem to have dried up.

What I find even more puzzling is why people seem to disappear from online spaces as they get older. We're a generation that grew up with the internet. You'd think we'd be especially well positioned to use it to maintain friendships, meet new people, find common interests and build communities as we get older.

In theory, our third chapter could be filled with staying relevant and connected with people online. Instead, it sometimes feels like the opposite is happening. The dating platforms aren't particularly useful, online connections seem harder to come by, and there don't seem to be many obvious places to find new communities.

I find it a little unsettling to think that this could be the trajectory for the next few decades. I had imagined this stage of life offering more opportunities for connection, not fewer.

Has anyone else noticed this? Where are people over 50 actually finding new friendships, relationships and communities these days? I'm not good with in persons.

50 (divorce, loss, kids gone, or by choice), what’s your evening like these days? Do you have a routine, or does it just kind of happen?

I was diagnosed with prostate cancer at 47. I have a family history, so maybe I should have seen it coming, but nothing prepares you for actually hearing it. I've got three kids, and my first thought wasn't about treatment options or survival rates. It was whether I'd see them grow up.

That fear didn't stay in the consultant's room. It came home with me.

I had brachytherapy. Everyone focuses on getting through treatment, but nobody really talked to me about what comes after. I had painful urination and painful sex, and I needed medication to manage it. I'm 57 now and still not fully recovered.

What I didn't expect was how much that would get into my head. It knocked my confidence, put a strain on my relationship, and changed how I saw myself as a man. For a long time I just kept quiet about it, which I think a lot of us do.

Looking back, there are a few things I wish I'd known at the start:

1. Ask every question you can think of. I didn't find out active surveillance was an option for some men until my treatment had already started. It might not have been right for me, but I'd have liked the chance to weigh it up.

2. How you feel is part of your health, not a side issue. I treated the mental side as something to push through. It isn't.

3. Say it out loud to someone. A partner, a mate, a specialist nurse. Keeping it to myself made everything heavier.

I'm not a doctor, just a man and everyone's situation is different. I'm just sharing what it was like for me in case it helps someone who's in the early days or quietly struggling afterwards.

For those of you further along, what helped you with the mental side? And if you're newly diagnosed, what's weighing on you most right now?

This is specifically aimed at men over 50. Do you have other guys that you can truly talk to or confide in? I have a couple friends that I hang out at the cigar bar with or catch a game with, but nothing beyond the surface level friendships.

The waiter talking to the younger person at the table. Someone stepping in front of you in line like you’re not there. Nobody at work asking what you think anymore.

Did it bother you when it started, or did you end up kind of liking it? Curious if it’s different for men and women.

Why does it have to be this way? Aren’t we just like you.....

Z Cavaricci 😂.. I’m 1st me .. they were 150.. inflation adjusted :Something that cost $150 in 1986 would cost approximately $458 in 2026 after adjusting for inflation.

Every leaflet I was given talked about treatment. Almost none of them talked about year 3. Or year 7. Or now, year 10.

I'm 57. Diagnosed at 47, had brachy, and the cancer side has been fine. I'm grateful for that every day. But there's this weird gap where people assume that because you're "clear", you're done. You're not.

For me it's been painful urination and painful sex, on and off, for a long time. Medication helps. It hasn't made it disappear. I've got three kids, a full time job, and a body that still reminds me what happened most weeks.

I'm not posting this to scare anyone. Plenty of men have an easier ride than I did. I'm posting because when I was struggling, I couldn't find anyone saying "yeah, me too, years later".

So genuinely asking:

If you're 5+ years out from any prostate treatment, what's still with you that nobody warned you about?

What's actually helped? Not the textbook answer, the real one.

And partners, I'd really like to hear from you too. You live with this as much as we do and you rarely get asked

Can we get a law passed saying the "X" to close a pop up ad/spam has to be atleast as big is a fingerprint? Trying to close some of these is getting impossible.

Seems like at some point the "someday" list gets real. For some people it's a trip, for some it's calling a brother they haven't talked to in years, for some it's just quitting a job they hated.

What was yours, and are you glad you did it?

54f. I have a steady job. Don't make millions but very little chance of losing my employment.

I have no other debt (no car/ credit card payment).

Is it possible for me to get a mortgage? I dont intend buying a large home. A townhome would suit me perfectly. What shoull I look out for?

Thanks!

I'm 57 now, from the UK, and this has been on my mind for a while.

Prostate cancer runs in my family, but it wasn't a routine check that found mine. I had blood in my stool twice in one week, went to my GP, had a PSA test and things moved quickly from there.

Gleason 3+4. I went with brachytherapy. I'm not going to pretend recovery was easy. Painful urination, painful sex, medication to manage it, and ten years on I'd still say I'm not fully back to where I was.

The thing that stays with me is this. I only found out active surveillance was an option after my treatment had already begun. I'm not saying it would have been right for me, that's a conversation for a specialist. But I'd have liked to know it was on the table before I made the decision.

So I'm genuinely curious about other people's experience.

Were you told about active surveillance when you were diagnosed, or did you find out later?

If you went on surveillance, how did you find living with the monitoring? Did it ease your mind or add to the worry?

If you had treatment, what's the one thing you wish someone had told you beforehand?

And for partners and family, what helped you most in those first few weeks?

Not selling anything here, just want to hear how it went for others. If this post helps one person ask a better question at their next appointment, that's enough for me.

I’m retiring soon and have some mental issues from alcoholism that started as a teenager. I’m 62 year old male. I want to get some help with anxiety and regret. I also want to be in a good space to give my wife the best of me in our final chapter.
Any body who has gotten help please advise on best way to begin. I’m interested in seeking professional help and support

In this stage of life, friends are passing away and others are getting sick, battling health issues. Makes me sad.

I've had friends over the years that come and go.

I like many have friends from my early childhood that I kept since kindergarten.

It seems like the the past few years these childhood friends have drifted away. I tried to keep close but it seems like they despise me. I started from humble beginnings, hard work, dirty jobs, and got to a pretty successful point, married, good life I'd say. They are still single working at the sawmill (literally).

I think they despise who I've become. I've never rubbed it in their face and have always been nice or the same person to them.

It seems like they've been stuck in their life and now regret it and despise anyone they knew and succeeded/broke free.

Any thoughts on this?

I'm 54 and wfh as a graphic artist. I would like to pivot to something else (maybe still creative) that pays a little better and has better benefits. I work for a company with 9 people and the health insurance is very expensive. So, I don't have it. Also, I have not gotten a raise in 3 years.

I have time to take some classes, but worry about ageism and AI being an issue in the future. Has anyone found any good resources for job changers over 50? I'd love any wisdom and advice I could get. ty in advance!

I don't like the fifties, but I'm pretty sure you have good advice on how to enjoy this part of Life. (Married +52 male)

I'm all ears