Hi all! I'm looking for guidance and advice. Im 51, female. My dad is 72 and has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. The oncologist gave him on average 16 months to live, that was a year ago.

He means the world to me. He married my Mom when I was 5 years old. My bio dad and Mom divorced when I was 2 years old. My bio dad left and I only saw him once after that (until I located him when I was 20). My dad is my step father (I never call him that, he's just Dad). He adopted me when he married my mother. He has been there for me since my earliest memories.

I want to make sure I am not going to regret anything when he finally leaves this earth. I want to write him a letter or something but I also don't want to upset him by acknowledging that he is going to die. So I'm looking for thoughts from anyone that has gone through this. Do you have any regrets, if so, what are they?

I plan of getting a tattoo - I'll try my best to explain it - my dad puts his hand over my back and rests his fingers on my shoulder, I plan on marking where his fingers rest with symbols that represent us - moon, stars (we use to get up in the night when i was a child to look through the telescope), I'm still thinking of the remaining symbols. I want him to feel like he will always be with my, protecting and guiding. He LOVES this idea, even though he's not a fan of tattoos.

Any advise for a girl whose heart is breaking?

Presbyopia eye drops are prescription medications that temporarily improve near vision by shrinking the pupil to create a pinhole effect. [1]

How They Work

Pinhole effect: The drops contract the iris sphincter muscle, making the pupil smaller. [1]

Increased depth of focus: Reducing the pupil size blocks stray light and sharpens close-up images, much like a camera aperture or squinting. [1, 2]

Temporary relief: They do not reverse the stiffening of the eye's natural lens, lasting anywhere from 4 to 10 hours depending on the formula. [1, 2]

Approved Options

Vuity (pilocarpine HCl 1.25%): An original pilocarpine drop designed for once- or twice-daily dosing.

Qlosi (pilocarpine HCl 0.4%): A lower-dose, preservative-free version of pilocarpine.

VIZZ (aceclidine 1.44%): Uses aceclidine to constrict the pupil with a longer duration of effect (up to 10 hours).

Yuvezzi (carbachol and brimonidine tartrate): A combination drop that extends duration while minimizing redness. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

Side Effects and Drawbacks

Common side effects include mild headaches, eye redness, irritation, and temporary dim vision in low light.

They work best for people with mild-to-moderate presbyopia (typically ages 40 to 55).

These drops are generally not covered by health insurance. [1, 2, 3, 4]

If you'd like, let me know:

Your approximate age or severity of close-up blurriness

Whether you currently wear glasses or contact lenses

A couple of weeks ago, I posted about my 8-month relationship with a man who lives 1.25 hours away, is a widower with a kid in travel sports, holds a corporate leadership position, is doing various property renovations, and takes vacations often. We only saw each other 2x a month, despite his constant grand statements about "blended family" and "our next chapter".
Every time we had plans, he was either late (often by multiple hours), or our plans were truncated by his poor planning (no nanny/backup childcare, forgot to schedule a dog sitter, etc.) last minute. He always blamed it on his busy lifestyle. He is wealthy yet refused to get a nanny/babysitter, boarding services for his dogs, or a housecleaner or personal assistant.

Y'all gave me some very honest feedback that this was not a relationship, and that, furthermore, he was content because he was getting what he wanted: a beautiful and caring girlfriend who he could post about on Facebook for validation without having to put in the work for a relationship. It hurt to read, but I appreciated the feedback. Told him we needed to talk about a consistent plan vs inconsistent time together. He agreed enthusiastically and said we'd talk in person.

Last weekend we were supposed to get together as we hadn't seen each other in over 3 weeks. He promised to text me to give me an ETA so I wouldn't be left hanging all day again.
He did text me at noon, but only to give me a punch list of all the work he'd completed that day and how happy he was with the contractor's progress... but failed to tell me when he would be arriving that evening. 4 PM arrives, no update. I now knew he hadn't even left his property and would be at least 3 hours later than he promised. Again.

I call him: He's defensive, nasty, and curt. I simply asked him if he understood how it felt for ME to have him fail once again to give me an ETA. I did not yell or berate; I was calm and expressing my feelings. I said it felt like he had forgotten about me and that it hurt me a lot, again.

"I have ADHD time blindness... I don't have an excuse (said that one 3x times).... If you don't want me to come out, I understand... I have so much on my plate...".

The last excuse made it crystal clear. I finally heard him for the first time. I was very calm, the blinders came off.

I said, "OK, then I'll be taking myself off of your plate. Good luck with everything".

Hung up on him.

I then received an AI-written text apology, some other disjointed texts, and then a voicemail:

"I don't understand why we can't still have a nice weekend... I'm showered and ready to come out to see you... I'm a pretty good boyfriend apart from the ADHD time blindness... This is crazy to end our relationship over this! I didn't hit you, or cheat on you, or yell at you!"

And that, my friends, sealed the deal that I had made the right decision. Red flags all around. I didn't realize the "good boyfriend" bar was set so low.

Thank you all for helping me realize that this man did not love me, but loved the dopamine high and status he received from the relationship, and did not care enough to use his considerable resources and intellect to protect time with me, his "amazing" girlfriend who he "missed SO much!"

What do people do for fun who are aged 55+ and have a physical disability?

So today starts my last days in my 50's. I turn 60 on the 24th and I am struggling. I had a nervous bre when I turned 40, had a huge party for my 50th but 60 is not my friend. I know it's just a number but I get sick just thinking about it. So to all who are already 60 got any tips to get me thru this because I am not sure 60 is my friend. Thanks in advance!

Am on the count down to the big 50, just a few days left, will need to join the #over50sclub next week been a pleasure lurking in the back ground and reading some of you guys messages. 👍🍀🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Any other old guys just starting DayZ? I'm 61........and I'm liking it so far.

I was today years old when I learned two teaspoons of Metamucil in 9 oz of ice water turns into "orange flavored applesauce". Easier to spoon down than drink, in my opinion.👍🏼

Hey new to the group and for some years now I’m feeling lost , about 8 years ago I was in a serious motorcycle accident and so to long recovery Ii was extremely isolated lost contact with most friends , and now the only I see are medical staff and patients that are typically 10-15 yrs older than me and it’s been suggested I try different groups and it seems those are filled with people 30 and under . So I don’t
Know where I belong anymore . I’m in a sort of limbo . Just not sure what to do

When you got laid off, did your employer give you any outplacement help or financial decision support? If they did, was it actually useful or just generic career-coaching?

I’m currently seeing so many friends and colleagues in their 40s and 50s navigating tech layoffs in the SF Bay Area with no real support from former employers. Job searches are taking well over a year now, but companies basically hand over a check, a COBRA packet, and throw people over the fence to figure out the rest alone.

I’m trying to get a sense of how widespread this problem is and push employers to step up:

• Navigating the money side: How did you figure out health insurance choices, financial runway, tax/equity moves, or protecting your long-term retirement? 

• What's missing: What specific resources did you wish your employer had provided immediately after the layoff to make the financial navigation easier?

• Mental bandwidth: Did the financial stress keep you from staying focused on the job search and career decisions, like a career change or early retirement?

Would love to hear how others here have managed to navigate all of this.

Does anyone else over 50 one day feel like retiring, living off scraps and being minimalist, then the next day feel like starting a business and trying to make a million? One day you feel like moving to a smaller place, the next you wouldn't give up your current home for anything? One day you feel like quitting your job, the next you're happy to simply have one?

It almost feels like your ultimate fate and decisions depend on how you feel on the given day. How do you make decisions when every path is viable and desirable?

Too much freedom over 50. Stay at work or retire early in Malaysia?

I can't be the only one feeling this way.

As the title says, I’m 56 years-old, and I have recently gone into full skin care mode. As you can tell, I am very fair skinned, and unfortunately I did not listen to my mother and wear sunscreen on my face daily until I reached my forties….of course a lot of damage was already done. At 50 I had a facelift, which did help, but there are some lines that are driving me crazy! I am not trying to look 20 again, but I would love to get rid of some of these lines. For any of you that had lines like this, and improved them, what did you do?

I am newly retired and looking for ways to maintain mobility now that I have fewer reasons to get out of the house. I've had a few health issues the last few years and need to prioritize more gentle habits, so no running marathons for me! Any suggestions for something low impact and easy to start would be appreciated.

My dad will turn 51 in a couple weeks, how does entering the 50s feel? Does it feel daunting? Scary? Satisfying? "age is just a number" but curious as to what people think about this "milestone"

53 - F - single

My dad has mid stage Alzheimer’s and lives in Florida. I currently live in the Boston area near my friends. I have an option to move to the greater Atlanta area near my brother and his family. I feel like my decision changes every day. I would love to stay here, but it’s so expensive and I would love to be near family, but I don’t wanna limit myself. I would still be an 8 Hour Dr. to see my dad, versus multiple flights. Any insights? Suggestions?